Christmas Feztival That 70s Show

Holiday Baking

7 Tips for Surviving Christmas from That ’70s Show

Get cozy with a That '70s Show Christmas Fez-tival all Christmas Day on IFC.

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Photo Credit: Carsey Werner Productions

The holiday season means friends, family, food — and stress. The closest many will come to relaxing will be vegging out in front of the television. Luckily IFC’s That ’70s Show Christmas Fez-tival offers the perfect assistance with digestion, as well as advice for dealing with your nearest and dearest. What tips can Eric, Kelso, Red and the rest of the gang offer for  the holiday season? Grab a mug of egg nog (and a cold beer for Red), and take a look below.

1. Remember the importance of family.

Carsey Werner

Carsey Werner

Red Forman may be the greatest advice-giver of all time. Not only does he give good advice but he’ll make sure you listen — even if that means shoving his foot so far up your ass he can wear you like a winter boot. Here he reminds us all that no matter how obligated we feel to spend time with people, we have a greater obligation to ourselves.


2. Keep your friends (and frenemies) close.

Jackie That 70s Show holiday GIF

Christmas dinner means you can combine this advice into a single step and still be right. Because at Christmas dinner the line between friends and enemies is blurred all over your family tree. And if your greatest attack is feeding people with cookies, one way or another you’ll quickly find you have no enemies.


3. It’s never too late to tell someone you care.

Eric Holiday  Meme

Carsey Werner

Eric understands the most important part of the holiday season: appreciating those close to us. Take a moment to make sure they understand how you feel.


4. Watch the holiday classics on TV.

Fez holidays

Fez’s education in all things Christmas consists mainly of television specials. It’s an excellent academic program and one we recommend everyone study this year.


5. Be open to change.

Donna Christmas

Carsey Werner

Donna identifies a slight gender imbalance in most traditional Christmas tales. The implication is that it’s better to consider the feelings of the friends and family you’re actually spending time with than the exact details of old traditions. Make sure everyone feels included!


6. Give the gift of face-melting rock.

Hyde zeppellin

Carsey Werner

Gift-giving is truly the spirit of the season, and Hyde arrives with an excellent combination of traditional items and something that anyone who wants to rock should own.


7. Be kind to those who want to watch their favorite TV shows (like That ’70s Show!).

kelso

This is advice we can get behind 100%. Our ideal Christmas is a roaring fire, a That ’70s Show marathon, an endless supply of snacks, and enough couch space for the whole family.

Happy holidays!

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SAG Life

Rappers Act Up

Watch the Yo! IFC Acts Movie Marathon Memorial Day Weekend.

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Photo Credit: Courtesy of the Everett Collection (and the '90s)

Memorial Day weekend: how to celebrate? Nothing quite says “screw spring—let’s do summer” like blockbuster movies starring rappers who ditched lucrative music careers in order to become actors. It happened a lot, remember? Especially in and around the ’90s. Will Smith, Eminem, Ice Cube, Ice-T, Marky Mark Wahlberg, Ludacris…icons with the hubris to try the silver screen instead and have it totally work out.

But what if more rappers had made the leap? That’s a rhetorical question—movies (and life) would’ve been better, obviously. To prove it, here are some movies that would’ve been more memorable with rappers.

The Godfather

Starring Biggie, not Brando.
Godfather-BIG

Charlie And The Chocolate Factory

Only Coolio could improve upon Gene Wilder’s performance.
Coolio-Wonka

Billy Elliot

Billy Elliot, with a dose of Missy Elliott.
Missy-Billy-Elliott

Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves

Low hanging fruit, Hollywood.
Robin-Hood-and-Lil-Jon

And of course…

Kanye-of-The-Lambs

See NONE of those movies and a whole bunch of real ones this Memorial Day weekend on IFC’s rapper-filled movie marathon.

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Brock Hard

Brockmire’s Guide To Grabbing Life By The D***

Catch up on the full season of Brockmire now.

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GIFs by Giphy

“Lucy, put supper on the stove, my dear, because this ballgame is over!”

Brockmire has officially closed out its rookie season. Miss the finale episode? A handful of episodes? The whole blessed season?? You can see it all from the beginning, starting right here.

And you should get started, because every minute you spend otherwise will be a minute spent not living your best life. That’s right, there are very important life lessons that Brockmire hid in plain sight—lessons that, when applied thoughtfully, can improve every aspect of your awesome existence. Let’s dive into some sage nuggets from what we call the Book of Jim.

Life Should Be Spiked, Not Watered Down.

That’s not just a fancy metaphor. As Brockmire points out, water tastes “awful. 70% of the water is made up of that shit?” Life is short, water sucks, live like you mean it.

There Are Only Three Types of People

“Poor people, rich people and famous people. Rich people are just poor people with money, so the only worthwhile thing is being famous.” So next time your rich friends act all high and mighty, politely remind them that they’re worthless in the eyes of even the most minor celebrities.

There’s Always A Reason To Get Out Of Bed

And 99% of the time that reason is the urge to pee. It’s nature’s way of saying “seize the day.”

There’s More To Life Than Playing Games

“Baseball can’t compete with p0rnography. Nothing can.” Nothing you do or ever will do can be more important to people than p0rn. Get off your high horse.

A Little Empathy Goes A Long Way

Especially if you’ve taken someone else’s Plan B by mistake.

Our Weaknesses Can Be Our Greatest Strengths

Tyrion Lannister said something similar. Hard to tell who said it with more colorful profanity. Wise sentiments all around.

Big Things Come To Those Who Wait

When you’re looking for a sign, the universe will drop you a big one. You’re the sh*t, universe.

And Of Course…

Need more life lessons from the Book of Jim? Catch up on Brockmire on the IFC App.

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Oh Mama

Mommie May I?

Mommie Dearest Is On Repeat All Mothers Day Long On IFC

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GIFs via Giphy

The cult-classic movie Mommie Dearest is a game-changer. If you’ve seen it even just once (but come on, who sees it just once?), then you already know what we’re talking about.

But if you haven’t seen it, then let us break it down for you. Really quick, we promise, we’ll even list things out to spare you the reading of a paragraph:

1. It’s the 1981 biopic based on the memoir of Christina Crawford, Hollywood icon Joan Crawford’s adopted daughter.
2. Faye Dunaway plays Joan. And boy does she play her. Loud and over-reactive.
3. It was intended as a drama, but…
4. Waaaaaay over-the-top performances and bargain-basement dialogue rendered it an accidental comedy.
5. It’s a cult classic, and you’re the last person to see it.

Not sold? Don’t believe it’s going to change your life? Ok, maybe over-the-top acting isn’t your thing, or perhaps you don’t like the lingering electricity of a good primal scream, or Joan Crawford is your personal icon and you can’t bear to see her cast in such a creepy light.

But none of that matters.

What’s important is that seeing this movie gives you permission to react to minor repeat annoyances with unrestrained histrionics.

That there is a key moment. Is she crazy? Yeah. But she’s also right. Shoulder nipples are horrible, wire hangers are the worst, and yelling about it feels strangely justified. She did it, we can do it. Precedent set. You’re welcome.

So what else can we yell about? Channel your inner Joan and consider the following list offenses when choosing your next meltdown.

Improperly Hung Toilet Paper

Misplaced Apostrophes

Coldplay at Karaoke

Dad Jokes

Gluten Free Pizza

James Franco

The list of potential pedestrian grievances is actually quite daunting, but when IFC airs Mommie Dearest non-stop for a full day, you’ll have 24 bonus hours to mull it over. 24 bonus hours to nail that lunatic shriek. 24 bonus hours to remember that, really, your mom is comparatively the best.

So please, celebrate Mother’s Day with Mommie Dearest on IFC and at IFC.com. And for the love of god—NO WIRE HANGERS EVER.

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