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Christmas With the Formans

5 Festive Holiday Moments From That ’70s Show

Get in the holiday spirit with a That '70s Show Christmas Day marathon.

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Photo Credit: Carsey-Werner Productions

Its Christmas time in Point Pleasant, Wisconsin, and Kitty’s making ham while the basement’s all-a-glow. The joint is stuffed and Kelso’s eating something that smells like cheese, while Red shouts at Eric and Hyde to pick up the damn trees. To get you in a festive mood, check out the times Eric, Kelso, Red and the rest of the That ’70s Show gang had a very Forman Christmas.

5. The gang steals presents, Season 7

The guys know how to appreciate Christmas with childhood glee, especially Kelso, who lands a Funyon in his mouth with a remote controlled helicopter. What is more fun on Christmas than a flying funyon? The toys came from a box Kelso accidentally took from the police toy drive, which prompted the guys to open all of them. But, this Grinch-like act does seem somewhat justified when Eric revealed that his childhood was spent getting a raincoat every year before being hosed down by Red. He’s the real Grinch.


4. Hyde’s Christmas rager, Season 3

In this episode, the circle has no smoke and the guys play the drinking game Quarters at the keg party they threw at the apartment of Hyde’s father. This leads to them all picking Eric to drink, which inevitably leads to Eric coming home drunk and imitating Red on the driveway before noticing his pop standing behind him. Red teaches Bud, Hyde’s father, the importance of treating teenagers like the idiots they are, and Eric almost gets a gift that doesn’t involve punishment. That was before he realized that the wrapped gift box Red gave him contained Red’s shoes that Eric had thrown up on the night before. “Ho. Ho. Ho. Dumbass.”


3. Red’s a mall Santa, Season 6

The gang makes their return to a high school party in this Season 6 episode in which Jackie begs Hyde to take her to the school Christmas party after being kicked off the Cheerleading squad. The guys attempt to impress the high school girls by strutting into the party to the tune of AC/DC’s “TNT.” Unfortunately, Fez runs straight into a Christmas tree. Also in this episode, Kitty convinces Red to play Santa at the mall and Donna spends the night as her alter ego “Hot Donna” on the radio. Forget Billy Bob Thornton — there’s no better bad Santa than Red Forman. Hey, kids need to learn that their Christmas ponies will eventually die and math flash cards are better gifts than a Slinky.


2. The Best Christmas Ever, Season 1

According to Fez, “Nothing says Christmas like a big, green Grinch ass” as the gang watched How the Grinch Stole Christmas. Surprisingly, the Grinch with a “Red” heart lets Eric have a party in the basement and gives him $40 for a tree. The guys keep the money and pull the bonehead move of chopping down a tree off the interstate, leading to state troopers arriving to bust the upstairs party before Red breaks up the basement party and almost busts his foot in Eric’s ass.


1. An Eric Forman Christmas, Season 4

This episode is a hilarious homage to TV holiday specials with Eric basically taking on the role of Charlie Brown as he agrees to direct the Christmas play at Pastor Dave’s church. Red is naturally the Grinch of the episode, stealing Bob’s Christmas decorations and uttering the brilliant line “If I had a mistlefoot, it would be in your ass.” Of course it was Pastor Dave who pulled the football out from under Eric’s directing glory by walking in on him in the Christmas circle. The point where Eric completely loses the Christmas spirit in true Charlie Brown fashion and actually makes an “aaggh!” sound is just perfect. Plus, Claymation Kelso!

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Brock Hard

Brockmire’s Guide To Grabbing Life By The D***

Catch up on the full season of Brockmire now.

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“Lucy, put supper on the stove, my dear, because this ballgame is over!”

Brockmire has officially closed out its rookie season. Miss the finale episode? A handful of episodes? The whole blessed season?? You can see it all from the beginning, starting right here.

And you should get started, because every minute you spend otherwise will be a minute spent not living your best life. That’s right, there are very important life lessons that Brockmire hid in plain sight—lessons that, when applied thoughtfully, can improve every aspect of your awesome existence. Let’s dive into some sage nuggets from what we call the Book of Jim.

Life Should Be Spiked, Not Watered Down.

That’s not just a fancy metaphor. As Brockmire points out, water tastes “awful. 70% of the water is made up of that shit?” Life is short, water sucks, live like you mean it.

There Are Only Three Types of People

“Poor people, rich people and famous people. Rich people are just poor people with money, so the only worthwhile thing is being famous.” So next time your rich friends act all high and mighty, politely remind them that they’re worthless in the eyes of even the most minor celebrities.

There’s Always A Reason To Get Out Of Bed

And 99% of the time that reason is the urge to pee. It’s nature’s way of saying “seize the day.”

There’s More To Life Than Playing Games

“Baseball can’t compete with p0rnography. Nothing can.” Nothing you do or ever will do can be more important to people than p0rn. Get off your high horse.

A Little Empathy Goes A Long Way

Especially if you’ve taken someone else’s Plan B by mistake.

Our Weaknesses Can Be Our Greatest Strengths

Tyrion Lannister said something similar. Hard to tell who said it with more colorful profanity. Wise sentiments all around.

Big Things Come To Those Who Wait

When you’re looking for a sign, the universe will drop you a big one. You’re the sh*t, universe.

And Of Course…

Need more life lessons from the Book of Jim? Catch up on Brockmire on the IFC App.

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Oh Mama

Mommie May I?

Mommie Dearest Is On Repeat All Mothers Day Long On IFC

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The cult-classic movie Mommie Dearest is a game-changer. If you’ve seen it even just once (but come on, who sees it just once?), then you already know what we’re talking about.

But if you haven’t seen it, then let us break it down for you. Really quick, we promise, we’ll even list things out to spare you the reading of a paragraph:

1. It’s the 1981 biopic based on the memoir of Christina Crawford, Hollywood icon Joan Crawford’s adopted daughter.
2. Faye Dunaway plays Joan. And boy does she play her. Loud and over-reactive.
3. It was intended as a drama, but…
4. Waaaaaay over-the-top performances and bargain-basement dialogue rendered it an accidental comedy.
5. It’s a cult classic, and you’re the last person to see it.

Not sold? Don’t believe it’s going to change your life? Ok, maybe over-the-top acting isn’t your thing, or perhaps you don’t like the lingering electricity of a good primal scream, or Joan Crawford is your personal icon and you can’t bear to see her cast in such a creepy light.

But none of that matters.

What’s important is that seeing this movie gives you permission to react to minor repeat annoyances with unrestrained histrionics.

That there is a key moment. Is she crazy? Yeah. But she’s also right. Shoulder nipples are horrible, wire hangers are the worst, and yelling about it feels strangely justified. She did it, we can do it. Precedent set. You’re welcome.

So what else can we yell about? Channel your inner Joan and consider the following list offenses when choosing your next meltdown.

Improperly Hung Toilet Paper

Misplaced Apostrophes

Coldplay at Karaoke

Dad Jokes

Gluten Free Pizza

James Franco

The list of potential pedestrian grievances is actually quite daunting, but when IFC airs Mommie Dearest non-stop for a full day, you’ll have 24 bonus hours to mull it over. 24 bonus hours to nail that lunatic shriek. 24 bonus hours to remember that, really, your mom is comparatively the best.

So please, celebrate Mother’s Day with Mommie Dearest on IFC and at IFC.com. And for the love of god—NO WIRE HANGERS EVER.

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Breaking News

From Canada With Love

Baroness von Sketch Show premieres this summer on IFC.

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Breaking news that (finally) isn’t apocalyptic!

IFC announced today that it acquired acclaimed Canadian comedy series Baroness von Sketch Show, slated to make its US of A premiere this summer. And yes, it’s important to note that it’s a Canadian sketch comedy series, because Canada is currently a shining beacon of civilization in the western hemisphere, and Baroness von Sketch Show reflects that light in every way possible.

The series is fronted entirely by women, which isn’t unusual in the sketch comedy world but is quite rare in the televised sketch comedy world. Punchy, smart, and provocative, each episode of Baroness von Sketch Show touches upon outrageous-yet-relatable real world subjects in ways both unexpected and deeply satisfying: soccer moms, awkward office birthday parties, being over 40 in a gym locker room…dry shampoo…

Indiewire called it “The Best Comedy You’ve Never Seen” and The National Post said that it’s “the funniest thing on Canadian television since Kids In The Hall.” And that’s saying a lot, because Canadians are goddamn hilarious.

Get a good taste of BVSS in the following sketch, which envisions a future Global Summit run entirely by women. It’s a future we’re personally ready for.

Baroness Von Sketch Show premieres later this summer on IFC.

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