DID YOU READ

Spoiler Awareness

Portlandia Influences a Google Patent on Spoiler Prevention (We Assume)

spoiler-alert

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More offensive than lying, cheating, and assault combined, the worst thing you could do to somebody is spoil a TV series they’ve just started. Destroying months — or even just a binge-filled weekend — of a fan’s main source of entertainment is akin to allowing Dexter to become a lumberjack (i.e. both unforgivable). Which is why Google is reportedly developing tech that will prevent our cherished and unfinished TV shows from being spoiled while browsing social media.

According to Mike Murphy at Quartz, Google’s newly awarded patent will block key information to shows, movies, and books from appearing in your feed. Exactly what gets blocked will be automatically determined by a progress tracker which detects where you are in a story and flag any plot revelations that appear afterward. (Murphy likens this to Netflix’s Facebook integration that posts the content you’re viewing onto your feed — a risky option depending on your viewing habits. It’s a one-way ticket to your friends wondering why you watch so many Jem and the Holograms episodes.) The system blurs the content and a pop-window appears asking whether the user wishes to view, say, [SPOILER ALERT] Oberyn Martell getting his head squashed by The Mountain on Game of Thrones, hereby saving us hours upon hours of staring intently at our HD screens.

But where did Google get the idea for this patent? If it was our guess, we’d have to say that it was from Season Three of Portlandia where Carrie and Fred bicker with another couple over the best way to discuss a show that others haven’t seen. Everything from Breaking Bad to The Wire to Boy Meets World are forbidden from even being mentioned lest somebody lets a major plot revelation slip. And in true meta fashion, the sketch does spoil quite a bit of binge-able shows. So be forewarned: Here there be spoilers!

http://stupidfuckingquestions.tumblr.com/post/39935772470/portlandia-spoilers

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Inauguration Alternative

Bill Murray On Repeat

It's a movie "Murray-thon" all-day Friday on IFC.

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Photo Credit: Everett Collection, GIFs courtesy of GIPHY

Democrats, Republicans and Millennials agree: 2017 is shaping up to be a spectacle — a spectacle that really kicks into high gear this Friday with the presidential inauguration. Not only will the new POTUS swear in, but all the Country’s highest offices will be filled. It’s a daunting prospect, and to feel a little anxious about it is only normal. But if your anxiety is snowballing into panic, we have a solution:
Bill Murray.

He’s the human embodiment of a mental “Happy Place”, and there’s really no problem he can’t solve. So, with that in mind, how about we all set aside reality for a moment and let Bill take the pain away by imagining a top-shelf White House cabinet filled exclusively by his signature characters. Here are a few hypothetical appointments for your consideration…

Secretary of Defense:
Bill Murray from Stripes

His incompetence is balanced by charm, and dumb luck is inexplicably on his side. America could do worse.

Secretary of State:
Bill Murray from Lost In Translation

A seasoned globetrotter steeped in regional traditions who has the respect of the whole wide world. And he kills Costello in karaoke, which is very important.

Press Secretary:
Bill Murray from Ghostbusters

“Cats and dogs, living together. Mass hysteria.” Dude knows how to brief a room.

Secretary of Health and Human Services:
Bill Murray from What About Bob.

A doctor-approved people person who knows that progress is measured in baby steps.

Secretary of Energy:
Bill Murray from Groundhog Day

Let’s be honest, this world is going to need a lot of do-overs.

Feeling better? Hold on to that bliss. And enjoy a healthy alternative to the inauguration brouhaha with multiple Murrays all Friday long in an IFC movie marathon including Kingpin, Zombieland, Ghostbusters, and Ghostbusters II.

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Home Run

Hank Azaria Gets Thrown A Curve Ball

Brockmire Premieres April 5 at 10P

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Photo Credit: Everett Collection

Unless you’ve somehow missed every episode of the Simpsons since 1989, then surely you know that Hank Azaria is one of the most important character actors of our time. He’s so prolific and his voice is so dynamic that he’s responsible for more iconic personalities than most folks realize. Basically, he’s the great and powerful Oz — except that when you pull back the curtain the truth is actually more impressive. And now Hank is coming to IFC to bring yet another character to the TV pop culture hive mind in the new series Brockmire. Check out the trailer below.

Based on the following Funny or Die short and co-starring Amanda Peet, Brockmire follows the story of imploded major league sportscaster Jim Brockmire as he tries to resurrect his career by calling plays for a floundering minor league team in a podunk town.

The series is written by Joel Church-Cooper (Undateable) and produced by Funny or Die’s Mike Farah and Joe Farrell, meaning that there’s funny in front of the camera, funny behind the camera–funny all around. Sounds like a ball to us.

Brockmire premieres April 5 at 10P on IFC.

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Car Notes

Portlandia On People Who Can’t Park

Portlandia returns tonight at 10P on IFC.

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If flagrant bad parking takes nerve, then retaliatory note writing takes neuroses. Watch Fred and Carrie take passive aggression to next level in Car Notes, the new Portlandia web series presented by Subaru. The first episode is yours right here and now, and you can see every installment of Car Notes anytime online, on the IFC app and on demand.

Portlandia returns tonight at 10P on IFC.

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