DID YOU READ

You've Been Warned

9 Things to Know Before Moving to Portland

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Can’t wait for Portlandia’s sixth season? Why not just move there instead? We’ve got some tips to get you on your way:

1. They take recycling very seriously.

Recycling is separated into bins, bottles and cans are worth five cents each, and the city provides composting bins and expects you to use them. If you don’t, expect some serious side-eye from neighbors, children and other pillars of the community.

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2. It really does rain a lot. Like, a lot.

That said, Portland has less rainfall than a lot of major cities. Rain is just a fact, not an obstacle. Get wet, get dry, get on with your day.
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3. Formal attire is never required.

Fleece is your friend, even at the Schnitzer Concert Hall.
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4. There’s no sales tax.

The price on the tag is the price you pay. Spend the money you save on another cup of coffee.


5. The bridges always go up when you are running late.

If it’s not the bridge, it’s the train that runs through parts of the city. It never hurts to build in extra time to make sure you’re not stuck on the wrong side of wherever it is you’re trying to go.


6. You can only park in front of your own house.

There’s no law or anything, but the neighbors will make sure you know the rule is heavily implied.


7. Natives don’t use umbrellas.

Buy a coat with a hood and leave the pretty, pretty parasol and the giant golf umbrellas at home.


8. Don’t try to pump your own gas.

Let the gas station attendant do his or her job while you stay inside your car where it’s dry, and you can continue to bang your head to your favorite local band blasting on the car stereo.


9. Get ready to catch Blazer fever and join the Timbers Army.

Portland takes its sports teams seriously.
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Bonus: Oregon is pronounced OR-UH-GUN, the Willamette is pronounced WILL-AM-ETTE, and Couch Street is pronounced COOCH. Just go with it.

Ready to make the move? Head over to Zillow.com or download the app and browse thousands of homes for sale or rent, with tons of magazine-quality photos, price histories, school district ratings and more. Save your favorite homes or searches and get notifications when new homes go on the market or the price on a home drops.

Happy hunting!

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Inauguration Alternative

Bill Murray On Repeat

It's a movie "Murray-thon" all-day Friday on IFC.

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Photo Credit: Everett Collection, GIFs courtesy of GIPHY

Democrats, Republicans and Millennials agree: 2017 is shaping up to be a spectacle — a spectacle that really kicks into high gear this Friday with the presidential inauguration. Not only will the new POTUS swear in, but all the Country’s highest offices will be filled. It’s a daunting prospect, and to feel a little anxious about it is only normal. But if your anxiety is snowballing into panic, we have a solution:
Bill Murray.

He’s the human embodiment of a mental “Happy Place”, and there’s really no problem he can’t solve. So, with that in mind, how about we all set aside reality for a moment and let Bill take the pain away by imagining a top-shelf White House cabinet filled exclusively by his signature characters. Here are a few hypothetical appointments for your consideration…

Secretary of Defense:
Bill Murray from Stripes

His incompetence is balanced by charm, and dumb luck is inexplicably on his side. America could do worse.

Secretary of State:
Bill Murray from Lost In Translation

A seasoned globetrotter steeped in regional traditions who has the respect of the whole wide world. And he kills Costello in karaoke, which is very important.

Press Secretary:
Bill Murray from Ghostbusters

“Cats and dogs, living together. Mass hysteria.” Dude knows how to brief a room.

Secretary of Health and Human Services:
Bill Murray from What About Bob.

A doctor-approved people person who knows that progress is measured in baby steps.

Secretary of Energy:
Bill Murray from Groundhog Day

Let’s be honest, this world is going to need a lot of do-overs.

Feeling better? Hold on to that bliss. And enjoy a healthy alternative to the inauguration brouhaha with multiple Murrays all Friday long in an IFC movie marathon including Kingpin, Zombieland, Ghostbusters, and Ghostbusters II.

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Home Run

Hank Azaria Gets Thrown A Curve Ball

Brockmire Premieres April 5 at 10P

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Photo Credit: Everett Collection

Unless you’ve somehow missed every episode of the Simpsons since 1989, then surely you know that Hank Azaria is one of the most important character actors of our time. He’s so prolific and his voice is so dynamic that he’s responsible for more iconic personalities than most folks realize. Basically, he’s the great and powerful Oz — except that when you pull back the curtain the truth is actually more impressive. And now Hank is coming to IFC to bring yet another character to the TV pop culture hive mind in the new series Brockmire. Check out the trailer below.

Based on the following Funny or Die short and co-starring Amanda Peet, Brockmire follows the story of imploded major league sportscaster Jim Brockmire as he tries to resurrect his career by calling plays for a floundering minor league team in a podunk town.

The series is written by Joel Church-Cooper (Undateable) and produced by Funny or Die’s Mike Farah and Joe Farrell, meaning that there’s funny in front of the camera, funny behind the camera–funny all around. Sounds like a ball to us.

Brockmire premieres April 5 at 10P on IFC.

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Car Notes

Portlandia On People Who Can’t Park

Portlandia returns tonight at 10P on IFC.

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If flagrant bad parking takes nerve, then retaliatory note writing takes neuroses. Watch Fred and Carrie take passive aggression to next level in Car Notes, the new Portlandia web series presented by Subaru. The first episode is yours right here and now, and you can see every installment of Car Notes anytime online, on the IFC app and on demand.

Portlandia returns tonight at 10P on IFC.

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