DID YOU READ

Portlandia Is Back with “The Celery Incident”

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Move over kale, it’s celery’s turn in the spotlight.

In this brand-new clip from season four of Portlandia, Steve Buscemi has been tasked by the corporate honchos at Produce Sales Headquarters to make celery go viral. If kale can do it, why not the humble celery stalk? With down-on-his-luck salesman Buscemi pimping it on the streets, there’s no way that the pale leafy stalk won’t be served up in the finest raw restaurants and artisanal eateries soon enough.

Just remember, Buscemi, to crib from Glengarry Glen Ross, bathrooms are for closers (and customers).

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Check out these interpretations of “The Celery Incident” by Jason Polan of the Taco Bell Drawing Club:

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Want the latest news from Portlandia? Like them on Facebook and follow them on Twitter @IFCportlandia and use the hashtag #portlandia.

Portlandia returns to IFC on Thursday, February 27, 2014 at 10/9c

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Face Melting Cameos

The 10 Most Metal Pop Culture Cameos

Glenn Danzig drops by Portlandia tonight at 10P on IFC.

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Glenn Danzig rocks harder than granite. In his 60 years, he’s mastered punk with The Misfits, slayed metal with the eponymous Danzig, and generally melted faces with the force of his voice. And thanks to Fred and Carrie, he’s now stopping by tonight’s brand new Portlandia so we can finally get to see what “Evil Elvis” is like when he hits the beach. To celebrate his appearance, we put together our favorite metal moments from pop culture, from the sublime to the absurd.

10. Cannibal Corpse meets Ace Ventura

Back in the ’90s,  Cannibal Corpse was just a small time band from Upstate New York, plying their death metal wares wherever they could find a crowd, when a call from Jim Carry transformed their lives. Turns out the actor was a fan, and wanted them for a cameo in his new movie, Ace Ventura: Pet Detective. The band had a European tour coming up, and were wary of being made fun of, so they turned it down. Thankfully, the rubber-faced In Living Color vet wouldn’t take no for an answer, proving that you don’t need to have a lot of fans, just the right ones.


9. AC/DC in Private Parts

Howard Stern’s autobiographical film, based on his book of the same name, followed his rise in the world of radio and pop culture. For a man surrounded by naked ladies and adoring fans, it’s hard to track the exact moment he made it. But rocking out with AC/DC in the middle of Central Park, as throngs of fans clamor to get a piece of you, seems like it comes pretty close. You can actually see Stern go from hit host to radio god in this clip, as “You Shook Me All Night Long” blasts in the background.


8. Judas Priest meets The Simpsons

When you want to blast a bunch of peace-loving hippies out on their asses, you’re going to need some death metal. At least, that’s what the folks at The Simpsons thought when they set up this cameo from the metal gods. Unfortunately, thanks to a hearty online backlash, the writers of the classic series were soon informed that Judas Priest, while many things, are not in fact “death metal.” This led to the most Simpson-esque apology ever. Rock on, Bartman. Rock on.


7. Anthrax on Married…With Children

What do you get when Married…with Children spoofs My Dinner With Andre, substituting the erudite playwrights for a band so metal they piss rust? Well, for starters, a lot of headbanging, property destruction and blown eardrums. And much like everything else in life, Al seems to have missed the fun.


6. Motorhead rocks out on The Young Ones

The Young Ones didn’t just premiere on BBC2 in 1982 — it kicked the doors down to a new way of doing comedy. A full-on assault on the staid state of sitcoms, the show brought a punk rock vibe to the tired format, and in the process helped jumpstart a comedy revolution. For instance, where an old sitcom would just cut from one scene to the next, The Young Ones choose to have Lemmy and his crew deliver a raw version of “Ace of Spades.” The general attitude seemed to be, you don’t like this? Well, then F— you!


5. Red and Kitty Meet Kiss on That ’70s Show

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Long before they were banished to playing arena football games, Kiss was the hottest ticket in rock. The gang from That ’70s Show got to live out every ’70s teen’s dream when they were set loose backstage at a Kiss concert, taking full advantage of groupies, ganja and hard rock.


4. Ronnie James Dio in Tenacious D in The Pick of Destiny (NSFW, people!)

What does a young boy do when he was born to rock, and the world won’t let him? What tight compadre does he pray to for guidance and some sweet licks? If you’re a young Jables, half of “the world’s most awesome band,” you bow your head to Ronnie James Dio, aka the guy who freaking taught the world how to do the “Metal Horns.” Never before has a rock god been so literal than in this clip that turns it up to eleven.


3. Ozzy Osbourne in Trick or Treat

It’s hard to tell if Ozzy was trying his hardest here, or just didn’t give a flying f–k. What is clear is that, either way, it doesn’t really matter. Ozzy’s approach to acting seems to lean more heavily on Jack Daniels than sense memory, and yet seeing the slurry English rocker play a sex-obsessed televangelist is so ridiculous, he gets a free pass. Taking part in the cult horror Trick or Treat, Ozzy proves that he makes things better just by showing up. Because that’s exactly what he did here. Showed up. And it rocks.


2. Glenn Danzig on Portlandia

Danzig seems to be coming out of a self imposed exile these days. He just signed with a record company, and his appearance on Portlandia is reminding everyone how kick ass he truly is. Who else but “The Other Man in Black” could help Portland’s resident goths figure out what to wear to the beach? Carrie Brownstein called Danzig “amazing,” and he called Fred “a genius,” so this was a rare love fest for the progenitor of horror punk.


1. Alice Cooper in Wayne’s World

It’s surprising, sure, but for a scene that contains no music whatsoever, it’s probably the most famous metal moment in the history of film. When Alice Cooper informed Wayne and Garth that Milwaukee is actually pronounced “Milly-way-kay” back in 1992, he created one of the most famous scenes in comedy history. What’s more metal than that? Much like Wayne and Garth, we truly are not worthy.

The Citizens of Portlandia: Joe Haege

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While fans of Portlandia know Joe Haege as a concerned parent at the Shooting Star Preschool, he’s had a fan base all his own for years in Portland.

Haege is a multi-tasking actor and musician who, along with fellow Citizen of Portlandia Corrina Repp formed a band called Tu Fawning, who released an EP as well as two full lengths records. Check out “Anchor”:

Joe has been making a name for himself as an actor, including roles in indie flicks Field Guide to November Days and How the Fire Fell (he co-wrote the soundtrack, too) and has roles in some upcoming films, too.

Just remember that some day you’ll be able to say you knew him when he was a Citizen of Portlandia.


Portlandia: Shooting Star Preschool by IFC-Official

Want the latest news from Portlandia? Like them on Facebook and follow them on Twitter @IFCportlandia and use the hashtag #portlandia.

Portlandia returns to IFC on Thursday, February 27, 2014 at 10/9c

The Citizens of Portlandia: Ed Edmo

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When Ed Edmo isn’t playing the coyote spirit on Portlandia, he’s a renowned Shoshone-Bannock storyteller, playwrite, poet, performer and a consultant to the Smithsonian Museum of the American Indian. .

He also leads tours of the She Who Watches petroglyphs inn the Columbia Gorge and to the Warm Springs Indian Reservation in central Oregon. He conducts workshops, traditional storytelling performances, dramatic monologues and lectures on such issues as cultural understanding and awareness, drug and alcohol abuse, and mental health.

He lives in Portland with his wife, Carol, son, John, daughter, Se-ah-dum and her daughter.

See Edmo in action in this video where he tells the story of the She Who Watches petroglyphs in the Columbia River Gorge:

Want the latest news from Portlandia? Like them on Facebook and follow them on Twitter @IFCportlandia and use the hashtag #portlandia.

Portlandia returns to IFC on Thursday, February 27, 2014 at 10/9c

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