DID YOU READ

A Portlandia Q & A: You asked, Fred Armisen answered

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Looking for a way to fill a few minutes before tonight’s brand new episode of Portlandia, which airs at 10/9c? Step right this way: A few days on Facebook and Twitter (@IFCportlandia) we asked Portlandia fans (a.k.a. everyone) to submit questions for the show’s star, writer and co-creator, Fred Armisen. You responded with a flood of questions and we picked the best, brightest and wackiest (Ikea Monkey?) and passed them along to Fred.
Here are his answers. Read ‘em and (don’t) weep:

1. If you could be a shrub, what kind of shrub would you be?
A Disney character.

2. How do you drink your coffee?

Black

3. What does Carrie smell like?

Records

4. What would be your spirit animal?

A human being

5. If you could put a bird on anything, what would you put it on?

The Washington Monument

6. Who is the greatest entertainer that has ever lived?

Paul McCartney

7. Name three songs you wish you’d written.

E=MC2 – Big Audio Dynamite
Numbers – Kraftwerk
Life Goes On – The Damned

8. I’m moving to Portland in two months. What’s the first thing I should do when I get there?

Go to baggage claim

9. On average, how many toothpicks would you say you use per year?

Twenty?

10. How psyched are you that you and I have the same birthday?

There’s a whole bunch of us! Did you know that? I just found out

11. What is your favorite kind of milk?

Almond

12. You have great hair. What kind of shampoo do you use? Would you do a shampoo infomercial?

Thank you! Kiehl’s. An infomercial? Only if it was shot on location in an Icelandic lagoon.

13. What are your thoughts on Ikea Monkey? Should he be held in captivity or returned to his owner so he can resume his fashionable lifestyle?

Owner? You don’t see that he was a secret shopper sent to check up on the employees? Look again closely at the photos.

14. What is the weirdest pickled thing you’ve ever eaten?

Some kind of red cabbage-y thing

15. What was it like working with Kevin the cat? Is he doing any solo work these days?

He’s a hard worker. A bit of a perfectionist. Really open to jamming, which is nice.

16. Favorite internet cat?

The one where the camera person is hiding from the cat, but as he shoots video and hides again, the cat gets closer and closer. It’s so funny.

17. Which Spice Girl is your favorite?

GINGER

18. Do you like chicken and waffles?

Sure.

19. What three things come to your mind when you hear “Feel It All Around”?

All of the art direction surrounding Washed Out. They have this aesthetic that looks like an extended family vacation out in some dreamy landscape. Or waterscape maybe. It’s so cool and they are amazing. I truly love that song.

20. A hamster and a dog are left inside a jug of water (empty). How does the hamster escape?

Why does he want to?

21. Did you wash your dishes today?

There was no need to.

Want the latest news from Portlandia? Like them on Facebook and follow them on Twitter@IFCportlandia and use the hashtag #portlandia.

Portlandia airs on IFC on Fridays at 10/9c

Jackie That 70s Show

Jackie Oh!

15 That ’70s Show Quotes to Help You Unleash Your Inner Jackie

Catch That '70s Show Mondays and Tuesdays from 6-10P on IFC.

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Photo Credit: Carsey-Werner Company

When life gets you down, just ask yourself: what would Jackie do? (But don’t ask her, because she doesn’t care about your stupid problems.) Before you catch That ’70s Show on IFC, take a look at some quotes that will help you be the best Jackie you can be.


15. She knows her strengths.

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14. She doesn’t let a little thing like emotions get in the way.

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13. She’s her own best friend.

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12. She has big plans for her future.

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11. She keeps her ego in check.

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10. She can really put things in perspective.

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9. She’s a lover…

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8. But she knows not to just throw her love around.

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7. She’s proud of her accomplishments.

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6. She knows her place in the world.

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5. She asks herself the hard questions.

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4. She takes care of herself.

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3. She’s deep.

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2. She’s a problem solver.

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1. And she’s always modest.

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Portlandia offers some parenting advice, tonight at 10/9c

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There’s no denying it: being a new parent is hard. That’s why so many new or simply frustrated parents turn to books for a bit of advice on how to get you through the rough patches (a.k.a. birth – age 18). While we can all agree that letting Candace and Toni watch your child is a risky choice, otherwise when it comes to parenting advice everything is completely contradictory. Every book is either telling you to let the kid cry it out or never ever let them cry. Are you going to be a helicopter parent or to let the kid rear himself? Are you a French-style parent determined to raise le bébé as if you lived in Paris or are you going to be a fearless Tiger Mom who never takes tears for an answer?

Not sure what parenting style best fits the needs of you and your family? Well, you’ll never know until you try them all and Portlandia is here to help. That’s right parents, help is here, so stick the kid in whatever vibrating bouncing swinging contraption will currently entertain the baby for three minutes and watch this clip from Friday’s new episode of Portlandia and be sure to tune in on Friday at 10/9c (yes, that’s after bedtime):

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Want the latest news from Portlandia? Like them on Facebook and follow them on Twitter@IFCportlandia and use the hashtag #portlandia.

Portlandia airs on IFC on Fridays at 10/9c

Portlandia won the Writers’ Guild Award for Best Variety/Comedy Show

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Something amazing happened at the Writers’ Guild Awards last night: Portlandia won the award for Outstanding Achievement in Writing Comedy/Variety (Including Talk) – Series! We are so proud of the show whose victory was deemed “the night’s biggest upset” by TVLine for winning over such incredible and incredibly funny shows as Saturday Night Live, The Colbert Report and The Daily Show with Jon Stewart, who have had a well-deserved lock on the category for the last six years.

Portlandia’s star, creator and writer Fred Armisen picked up the award for his fellow writers, including Carrie Brownstein, Jonathan Krisel, Bill Oakley and Karey Dornetto. No word on whether he put a bird on it. Congratulations! We are so proud of Portlandia.

Want the latest news from Portlandia? Like them on Facebook and follow them on Twitter@IFCportlandia and use the hashtag #portlandia.

Portlandia airs on IFC on Fridays at 10/9c

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