DID YOU READ

A Portlandia Q & A: You asked, Fred Armisen answered

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Looking for a way to fill a few minutes before tonight’s brand new episode of Portlandia, which airs at 10/9c? Step right this way: A few days on Facebook and Twitter (@IFCportlandia) we asked Portlandia fans (a.k.a. everyone) to submit questions for the show’s star, writer and co-creator, Fred Armisen. You responded with a flood of questions and we picked the best, brightest and wackiest (Ikea Monkey?) and passed them along to Fred.
Here are his answers. Read ’em and (don’t) weep:

1. If you could be a shrub, what kind of shrub would you be?
A Disney character.

2. How do you drink your coffee?

Black

3. What does Carrie smell like?

Records

4. What would be your spirit animal?

A human being

5. If you could put a bird on anything, what would you put it on?

The Washington Monument

6. Who is the greatest entertainer that has ever lived?

Paul McCartney

7. Name three songs you wish you’d written.

E=MC2 – Big Audio Dynamite
Numbers – Kraftwerk
Life Goes On – The Damned

8. I’m moving to Portland in two months. What’s the first thing I should do when I get there?

Go to baggage claim

9. On average, how many toothpicks would you say you use per year?

Twenty?

10. How psyched are you that you and I have the same birthday?

There’s a whole bunch of us! Did you know that? I just found out

11. What is your favorite kind of milk?

Almond

12. You have great hair. What kind of shampoo do you use? Would you do a shampoo infomercial?

Thank you! Kiehl’s. An infomercial? Only if it was shot on location in an Icelandic lagoon.

13. What are your thoughts on Ikea Monkey? Should he be held in captivity or returned to his owner so he can resume his fashionable lifestyle?

Owner? You don’t see that he was a secret shopper sent to check up on the employees? Look again closely at the photos.

14. What is the weirdest pickled thing you’ve ever eaten?

Some kind of red cabbage-y thing

15. What was it like working with Kevin the cat? Is he doing any solo work these days?

He’s a hard worker. A bit of a perfectionist. Really open to jamming, which is nice.

16. Favorite internet cat?

The one where the camera person is hiding from the cat, but as he shoots video and hides again, the cat gets closer and closer. It’s so funny.

17. Which Spice Girl is your favorite?

GINGER

18. Do you like chicken and waffles?

Sure.

19. What three things come to your mind when you hear “Feel It All Around”?

All of the art direction surrounding Washed Out. They have this aesthetic that looks like an extended family vacation out in some dreamy landscape. Or waterscape maybe. It’s so cool and they are amazing. I truly love that song.

20. A hamster and a dog are left inside a jug of water (empty). How does the hamster escape?

Why does he want to?

21. Did you wash your dishes today?

There was no need to.

Want the latest news from Portlandia? Like them on Facebook and follow them on Twitter@IFCportlandia and use the hashtag #portlandia.

Portlandia airs on IFC on Fridays at 10/9c

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Thank Azaria

Best. Characters. Ever.

Our favorite Hank Azaria characters.

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GIFs via Giphy

Hank Azaria may well be the most prolific voice and character actor of our time. The work he’s done for The Simpsons alone has earned him a permanent place in the pop culture zeitgeist. And now he’s bringing another character to the mainstream: a washed-up sports announcer named Jim Brockmire, in the aptly titled new series Brockmire.

We’re looking forward to it. So much so that we want to look backward, too, with a short-but-sweet retrospective of some of Azaria’s important characters. Shall we begin?

Half The Recurring Simpsons Characters

He’s Comic Book Guy. He’s Chief Wiggum. He’s Apu. He’s Cletus. He’s Snake. He’s Superintendent Chalmers. He’s the Sea Captain. He’s Kurt “Can I Borrow A Feeling” Van Houten. He’s Professor Frink. He’s Carl. And he’s many more. But most importantly he’s Moe Szyslak, the staple character Azaria has voiced since his very first audition for The Simpsons.

Oh, and He’s Frank Grimes

For all the regular Simpsons characters Azaria has played over the years, his most brilliant performance may have been a one-off: Frank Grimes, the scrappy bootstrapper who worked tirelessly all his life for honest, incremental, and easily-undermined success. Azaria’s portrayal of this character was nuanced, emotional, and simply magical.

Patches O’Houlihan

Dodgeball is a “sport of violence, exclusion and degradation.” as Hank Azaria generously points out in his brief but crucial cameo in Dodgeball. That’s sage wisdom. Try applying his “five D’s” to your life on and off the court and enjoy the results.

Harold Zoid

Of Futurama fame. The crazy uncle of Dr. Zoidberg, Harold Zoid was once a lion (or lobster) of the silver screen until Smell-o-vision forced him into retirement.

Agador

The Birdcage was significant for many reasons, and the comic genius of Hank Azaria’s character “Agador” sits somewhere towards the top of that list. If you haven’t seen this movie, shame on you.

Gargamel

Nobody else could make a live-action Gargamel possible.

Ed Cochran

From Ray Donovan. Great character, great last name [editorial note: the author of this article may be bias].

Kahmunra, The Thinker, Abe Lincoln

All in the Night At The Museum: Battle Of The Smithsonian, a file that let Azaria flex his voice acting and live-action muscles in one fell swoop.

The Blue Raja

Mystery Men has everything, including a fatal case of Smash Mouth. Azaria’s iconic superhero makes the shortlist of redeemable qualities, though.

Dr. Huff

Huff put Azaria in a leading role, and it was good. So good that there is no good gif of it. Internet? More like Inter-not.

Learn more about Hank Azaria’s newest claim to fame right here, and don’t miss the premiere of Brockmire April 5 at 10P on IFC.

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Flame Out

Brockmire and Other Public Implosions

Brockmire Premieres April 5 at 10P on IFC.

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There’s less than a month until the Brockmire premiere, and to say we’re excited would be an insulting understatement. It’s not just that it stars Hank Azaria, who can do no wrong (and yes, that’s including Mystery Men, which is only cringeworthy because of Smash Mouth). It’s that the whole backstory of the titular character, Jim Brockmire, is the stuff of legends. A one-time iconic sportscaster who won the hearts of fans and players alike, he fell from grace after an unfortunate personal event triggered a seriously public meltdown. See for yourself in the NSFW Funny or Die digital short that spawned the IFC series:

See? NSFW and spectacularly catastrophic in a way that could almost be real. Which got us thinking: What are some real-life sports fails that have nothing to do with botched athletics and everything to do with going tragically off script? The internet is a dark and dirty place, friends, but these three examples are pretty special and mostly safe for work…

Disgruntled Sports Reporter

His co-anchor went offsides and he called it like he saw it.

Jim Rome vs Jim “Not Chris” Everett

You just don’t heckle a professional athlete when you’re within striking distance. Common sense.

Carl Lewis’s National Anthem

He killed it! As in murdered. It’s dead.

To see more moments just like these, we recommend spending a day in your pajamas combing through the muckiness of the internet. But to see something that’s Brockmire-level funny without having to clear your browser history, check out the sneak peeks and extras here.

Don’t miss the premiere of Brockmire April 5 at 10P on IFC.

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Mirror, Mirror

Portlandia Season 7 In Hindsight

Portlandia Season 7 Now Available Online and on the IFC App.

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Another season of Portlandia is behind us, and oh what a season it was. We laughed. We cried. And we chuckled uncomfortably while glancing nervously around the room. Like every season before it, the latest Portlandia has held a mirror up to ridiculousness of modern American life, but more than ever that same mirror has reflected our social reality in ways that are at once hysterical and sneakily thought-provoking. Here are just a few of the issues they tackled:

Nationalism

So long, America, Portland is out! And yes, the idea of Portland seceding is still less ludicrous than building a wall.

Men’s Rights

We all saw this coming. Exit gracefully, dudes.

Protests

Whatever you stand for, stand for it together. Or with at least one other person.

Free Love

No matter who we are or how we love, deep down we all have the ability to get stalky.

Social Status

Modern self-esteem basically hinges on likes, so this isn’t really a stretch at all.

These moments are just the tip of the iceberg, and much more can be found in the full seventh season of #Portlandia, available right now #online and on the #IFC app.

via GIPHY

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