DID YOU READ

A Portlandia Q & A: You Asked, Fred Armisen Answered, Part 2

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Portlandia star, writer and co-creator Fred Armisen had so much fun answering your questions (read part one of our Q & A with him here) that he asked for more. So we went back to Facebook and Twitter and found more of your wild and wacky questions for the comic. We passed them along and he answered them on the plane as he headed out to the 2013 Independent Spirit Awards.

1. What’s the most ridiculous thing that’s ever happened to you?

Coming back from Canada into the U.S. with my band in the mid-nineties. The border guy stopped us and went through our van. I mean, really went through everything. He found some t-shirts and records that we had brought over to sell in Canada. But he accused us of having them made in Canada so we could sell them here. I was like “we’re FROM here!” But he didn’t believe us about our stuff, and we had to pay taxes on it!!! I was so mad. We’re just a little band, and what was his logic? Why would we do that? I’m still mad at him.

2. Which cast members that you’ve worked with on SNL make you laugh the hardest

Different people for different reasons. Jason says the most insanely funny things, and very quickly. Like immediately. He’s so funny. Kenan says things that kill me. Bill makes me laugh in sketches and it’s very very hard not to laugh when I’m in something with him. I laugh a lot if I’m writing with Vanessa. Everybody, really. I’m not kidding. It’s the best part about working there.

3. What is your favorite character to be from the show?

The home recording studio guy.

4. What do you wanna be when you grow up?

David Bowie

5. Fred, do you know where my grey sweater is? Not the v-neck one, the one with the stripes. I can’t find it.

You threw it in the closet, but not on the floor. Up above everything.

6. What book is on your nightstand right now?

A Visit From The Goon Squad

7. Knowing your body is 72% water, you ever get scared to drink more since you’re just 28% away from becoming a snowman?

What’s wrong with being a snowman?

8. If Harry Potter is the greatest magician why doesnt he ever correct his damn vision?

You don’t get it. Wearing glasses is an attribute. A magical power.

9. What’s the best & worst thing about dressing up as a woman?

Best thing: wigs

Worst thing: shoes

10. Hey Fred, what are your views on spray tanning bald cats?

That has been well covered. I wrote a few pieces about it for the New York Times.

11. What’s your Dream Drum Kit Set Up?

Green sparkle kit. 20″ kick, 14″ snare, 16″ floor, but instead of rack toms, 2 LP timbales. Drum throne set up high. DW pedal and hardware.

12. How do we know it is really you answering the questions?

Here is my signature. (-~/ ^~~n

13. Which Portlandia character is most like your real self?

Brendan

14. Who’s your favorite muppet?

Animal

15. Did you shave your legs for SNL last Saturday?

I didn’t!

16. You can’t spell friend without fred n i. will you be my best friend?

Ye. (You can spell yes without an s)

17. What’s the most ridiculous question you’ve been asked?

These Trenchmouth t-shirts in your van. Where are they from?

18. What’s your favorite ice cream flavor?

Chocolate

19. What are some of your favorite cities beside Portland?

NYC, Stockholm, London, Los Angeles.

20. What is your most favorite Hall & Oates song?

She’s Gone

21. Do you like hedgehogs?

Sure.

22. Do you like when it snows?

Yeah!

23. What’s your favorite breakfast food?

Eggs

Want the latest news from Portlandia? Like them on Facebook and follow them on Twitter@IFCportlandia and use the hashtag #portlandia.

Portlandia airs on IFC on Fridays at 10/9c

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Forget Oscar

Find Your Spirit Animal

The Spirit Awards are LIVE this Saturday at 2p PT/5p ET.

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In just a few precious days, the greatest, most epic, most star-studded awards ceremony of the year comes to IFC.

And please, we’re definitely not talking about the Oscars. We’re talking about the Spirit Awards. Hosted by iconic comedy duo Nick Kroll and John Mulaney, it’s a relatively under-the-radar awards show with serious cred. And if the past is any indicator, we’re in for a wild night.

If you feel like doing your homework, you can find a full list of nominees and performance excerpts here. It reads like a who’s who of everyone that matters – those larger-than-life personalities with status that borders on mythological. Our celebrity spirit animals, if you will.

This isn’t hyperbole. Literally everyone who takes the stage at the awards show is spirit animal material. Let’s see if we can help you find yours…

Do you

Live in someone else’s shadow despite shining like the sun? Do you inexplicably vandalize your pretty-boy good looks with a sloppy-joe man bun and a repellent pubic-hair beard? Do you think sounding stoned and sounding thoughtful are kinda the same thing?

Congratulations, your spirit animal is Casey Affleck.

He’s the self-canonized patron saint of anyone who’s got the goods but doesn’t give a damn.

Do you

Have mid-length hair and exude a certain feminine masculinity that is universally appealing? Are you drawn to situations that promise little to nothing in the way of grooming or hygiene as a transparently self-conscious attempt to conceal your radiant inner glow? Does that fail miserably?

Way to go, your spirit animal is Viggo Mortensen.

He’s the yoga teacher of actors, in that what should make him super nasty only increases his curb appeal.

Do you

Get zero recognition for work that everyone knows is unrivaled? Do you inspire greatness in others yet get shortchanged when it comes to your own acclaim? Are you a goddam B-52 bomber in an industry of biplanes?

Bingo, your spirit animal is Annette Bening.

What does it take for this artist to win an Oscar? Honestly now, if her performance in 20th Century Women doesn’t earn her every award on the planet, consider it proof that the Universe truly is a cold dark void absent of reason or compassion.

Do you

Walk into a room full of strangers and walk out with a room full of friends? Have you been hiding under the radar just waiting for the right moment to leap out into the spotlight and stay there FOREVER? Do you possess the almost messianic ability to elevate Shia LaBeouf’s on-screen charisma?

You guessed it (or not), your spirit animal is 100% Sasha Lane.

If you haven’t seen American Honey, then you haven’t heard of her. She came out of the blue with a performance both subtle and powerful, and now she’s going to be in all the movies from this moment on. Or she should be, at any rate.

Don’t see your spirit animal there? Worry not. There are many more nominees to choose from, and you can see them all (yes, including Shia LaBeouf) during the Independent Spirit Awards, this Saturday at 2pm PT/5pm ET only on IFC.

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Car Notes

Portlandia Keeps Road Rage In Park

Get a lesson in parking etiquette on a new Portlandia.

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It’s the most American form of cause and effect: Park like a monster, receive a passive-aggressive note.

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This unofficial rule of the road is critical to keeping the great big wheel of car-related Karma in balance. And naturally, Portlandia’s Kath and Dave have elevated it to an awkward, awkward art form in Car Notes, the Portlandia web series presented by Subaru.

If you’ve somehow missed the memo about Car Notes until now, you can catch up on every installment online, on the IFC app, and on demand. You can even have a little taste right here:

If your interest is piqued – great news for you! A special Car Notes sketch makes an appearance in the latest episode of Portlandia, and you can catch up on it now right here.

Watch all-new Portlandia Thursdays at 10P on IFC.

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Naked and Hungry

Two New Ways to Threeway

IFC's Comedy Crib gets sensual in time for Valentine's Day.

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This week, two scandalous new digital series debut on IFC’s Comedy Crib.
Ménage à Trois invites people to participate in a real-life couple’s fantasy boudoir. And The Filling is Mutual follows two saucy chefs who invite comedians to make food inspired by their routines. Each show crosses some major boundaries in sexy and/or delicious ways, and each are impossible to describe in detail without arousing some awkward physical cravings. Which is why it’s best to hear it directly from the minds behind the madness…

Ménage à Trois

According to Diana Kolsky and Murf Meyer, the two extremely versatile constants in the ever-shifting à trois, “MàT is a sensually psychedelic late night variety show exploring matters of hearts, parts and every goddamn thing in between…PS, any nudes will be 100% tasteful.”

This sexy brainchild includes sketches, music, and props that would put Pee-wee’s Playhouse to shame. But how could this fantastical new twist on the vanilla-sex variety show format have come to be?

“We met in a UCB improv class taught by Chris Gethard. It was clear that we both humped to the beat of our own drum; our souls and tongues intermingled at the bar after class, so we dove in head first.”

Sign me up, but promise to go slow. This tricycle is going to need training wheels.

The Filling is Mutual

Comedians Jen Saunderson and Jenny Zigrino became best friends after meeting in the restroom at the Gotham Comedy Club, which explains their super-comfortable dynamic when cooking with their favorite comedians. “We talk about comedy, sex, menses, the obnoxiousness of Christina Aguilera all while eating food that most would push off their New Year’s resolution.”

The hook of cooking food based off of comedy routines is so perfect and so personal. It made us wonder about what dishes Jen & Jenny would pair with some big name comedy staples, like…

Bill Murray?
“Oh, that’s easy Meatballs with Lingonberry Space Jam it’d be great, but then we’d have to Oh, that’s easy Meatballs with Lingonberry Space Jam it’d be great, but then we’d have to… Oh, that’s easy Meatballs with Lingonberry Space Jam it’d be great, but then we’d have to avoid doing any kind of silly Groundhog Day reference.” 

Bridget Everett?
“Cream Balls… Sea Salt encrusted Chocolate Ganache Covered Ice Cream Ball that melt cream when you bite into them.” 

Nick Kroll & John Mulaney? 
“I’d make George and Gil black and white cookies from scratch and just as we open the oven to put the cookie in we’d prank ’em with an obnoxious amount of tuna!!!”

Carrie Brownstein & Fred Armisen? 
“Definitely a raw cacao “safe word” brownie. Cacao!”

Just perfect.

See both new series in their entirety on IFC’s Comedy Crib.

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