Portlandia is coming back to IFC this Friday, December 14th, when Winter in Portlandia airs at 10:30/9:30c. But we know that fans of Fred Armisen’s and Carrie Brownstein’s sketch comedy show always want more, not because they are greedy, but because belly laughing is good for the abs and in this holiday season stuffed with Christmas cookies, Hanukkah gelt, solstice stuffing and Kwanzaa harvest treats we all need to laugh as much as possible. So as we lead up to the premiere of season three of Portlandia, which kicks off Friday, January 4th at 10/9c, we are going on a tour of Portlandia with everyone’s favorite comedian and cell phone sales clerk, Kumail Nanjiani. In the series Kumail will visit some of the locations used by Portlandia. First stop? The feminist bookstore a.k.a. In Other Words Feminist Community Center located in Northeast Portland.
Have you ever wanted to hear Kumail Nanjiani talk about sperm retention and vagina candles? Or perhaps you just like to laugh? Yeah? Well then this video is for you:
Imagine playing soccer in body armor, with a stick, on ice. It’s no surprise hockey players get so angry and beat the crap out of each other. Still, once you make it to the NHL, you’d think they could stay upright. But if these hockey fails are any indication, even the best of the best have their off nights. Check them out below and be sure to catch our favorite hockey team Uncle Chubbys on an all-new Benders Thursday, October 15th, at 10P.
10. Sometimes it feels like you’ve got friends in all the wrong places.
9. Even getting off the ice can be a headache.
8. Don’t you hate when you forget how to drink on national TV?
7. Sometimes you forget which side of the goal you’re supposed to protect.
6. Drinking is hard. Okay?!
5. It was the stick’s fault!
4. At least something made it into the goal, right?
Listen up, widows and widowers: It’s time to stop your sulking! Whip up a beta blocker-and-Metamucil cocktail and hit the club, because it’s time for you to get back out there. But if it’s been awhile since you hit the dating scene, don’t fret. Tonight’s season finale of Gigi Does It at 10:30P ET/PT will guide you in the ways of modern love. Here are five ways to get ready for tonight’s episode and be a hellcat at your next senior singles mixer.
1. Maintain personal boundaries.
Courting rituals have changed quite a bit since the Eisenhower era, with physical relationships starting way before marriage. But no matter how much of a superfreak you are in the sack, don’t let anyone else tell you when you’re ready to show off those skills. Though right after the desert course might not be the best time to propose a public tryst, lest you end up on the receiving end of a drink to the face like Leonard here.
2. Cast a wide net.
As the saying goes, there are plenty of fish in the sea — so why not peruse the market before settling on a catch? Attend a speed dating event and let first impressions do all the work. You deserve a break. And it’s a great opportunity to show off your singing voice and/or share some cat stories.
3. Hide any inappropriate body art.
A first date might not be the best time to reveal your ink or your get-rich-quick scheme. That’s more of a third date thing.
4. Let Gigi keep you up-to-date with the latest trends in vulgarity.
Loose lips may sink ships, but no one wants an old fuddy duddy as a first mate. It’s time to undo that truss and check out this Gigi clip which removes the bleeps and blurs for a NSFW look at the foul-mouthed granny in action.
5. Remember: You’re a grandparent first and a lover second.
Rather than let casual sex rule her life, Gigi knows that being a grandparent trumps a roll in the hay every time. But do those nasty urchins appreciate their bubbes? As a little reminder, Gigi penned a children’s book that puts guilt back into grammar school literature. Give it a read here.
Before Todd Margaretreturns to IFC for a third season on Thursday, January 7th, he is taking over New York Comic Con the same way he took over the London office of Thunder Muscle energy drink.
Get ready for the comeback to end all comebacks, because Todd Margaret (David Cross), is back, three years after he blew up the world and he has the panel at NY Comic Con to prove it. On Friday, October 9th at 5:30 PM, stop by Room 1A10 at the Javits Center in New York City for IFC Presents Todd Margaret: A Sneak Peek at the Return of a Cult Hit and watch the first two episodes of the brand new season.
As fans of the series know, total chaos ensued when bumbling American Todd Margaret was sent to London to promote Thunder Muscle. The result was the end of the world, but somehow Todd survived. He’s returning for a third season, but there’s a twist: he’s a very, very different Todd.
See how it all plays out at this sneak peek screening at New York Comic Con before the new season premieres on IFC in 2016. And check back for more updates on the return of Todd Margaret.
There are heartwarming sports movies, and then there are hockey movies. Unlike the glossy nostalgia of The Natural, or the goofy shenanigans of Space Jam, hockey movies tend to have a bit more edge. And by edge, we mean crazed dudes kicking the crap out of each other. Here are some big screen hockey teams who left it all out on the ice, along with a decent amount of blood.
9. Thunder Bay Bombers, Youngblood
If Roadhouse proved anything, it’s that you don’t mess with Swayze and walk away with your throat inside your neck. But that didn’t stop the bad guy Bombers, whose goon-in-chief Carl Racki hit the dirty dancer so hard they had to put a plate in his head.
8. Monroeville Zombies, Zack and Miri Make a Porno
They may not be pros, but the rec league Zombies sure knew how to bring the pain. Particularly their goalie, who had the helpful habit of skating out and attacking opposing players.
7. The Annapolis Angels, H-E Double Hockey Sticks
When one thinks of Disney hockey movies from the ’90s, the first thing that comes to mind is always…H-E Double Hockey Sticks? Well, maybe not the first thing, but this ragtag group of underdogs also deserves a place in our hearts. They might not be as famous as The Mighty Ducks, but they did use their skills on the ice to save Matthew Lawrence’s soul from Satan in the form of Rhea Perlman from Cheers. Seriously. This is a movie that happened.
6. Lansing Ice Wolves, Tooth Fairy
The only thing more intense than the hits Ice Wolves star Derek Thompson (Dwayne Johnson) laid on opposing players are the life lessons he learned after becoming a real life Tooth Fairy. Sure, the rest of his teammates weren’t the most fully fleshed out lot, but The Rock is like ten men in one, so that’s an unruly team right there.
5. The “Saturday Game” team from Mystery, Alaska
This team of rowdy townies aren’t afraid to bang the mayor’s wife or shoot a guy in the foot. What do you expect when your leader is Russell Crowe? Mediocre pub rock and a phone to the head. Okay, I guess he does that too.
4. The Nuggets, MVP:Most Valuable Primate
The Nuggets exploited a loophole in the junior hockey league bylaws which didn’t expressly state that chimps can’t play hockey. You’d think that would’ve been implied, though.
3. The Mighty Ducks from The Mighty Ducks franchise
The Ducks stole pucks and hearts over the course of three hit ’90s movies thanks to the mighty fists of Fulton Reed, the superior goalie skills of Goldberg and the, uh, getting a DUI and being forced to coach a pee-wee hockey team abilities of Emilio Estevez.
2. The Halifax Highlanders, Goon
The Highlanders recruit a Masshole bouncer to crack heads in a movie that’s basically Road House on ice. Who says Canadians are nice?
1. The Charlestown Chiefs, Slap Shot
Glasses-wearing goons The Hanson Brothers brought The Chiefs to the championship by spilling a lot of blood on the ice.