DID YOU READ

Watch Portlandia tonight for the return of Nina and Lance

lance-and-nina-portlandia-cacao

Posted by on

Cacao! Tonight’s brand new episode of “Portlandia” features the return of everyone’s favorite safe-word spouting couple Nina and Lance. Did you miss the infamous “Cacao!” sketch from last season? Or just want to watch it again and again because it is that good? We understand, so here you go:

Tune in at 10/9 c to see Carrie Brownstein sporting a mustache and Fred Armisen looking lovely in a red page-boy wig as Nina and Lance embark on their next great adventure, this time involving Facebook. So say Cacao! to watching anything else. Especially because tonight’s episode also features Joanna Newsom trying to get a big harp in a small hatchback, plus the San Francisco band Grass Widow and Robin Pecknold of Fleet Foxes.

Join the discussion and chat live with other Portlandia fans during the show right here on IFC Sync.

Want the latest news from Portlandia? Like us on Facebook and follow us on @IFCportlandia and use the hashtag #Portlandia.

“Portlandia” airs on IFC on Fridays at 10/9c

Underworld

Under Your Spell

10 Otherworldly Romances That’ll Melt Your Heart

Spend Valentine's Day weekend with IFC's Underworld movie marathon.

Posted by on
Photo Credit: Screen Gems/courtesy Everett Collection

Romance takes many forms, and that is especially true when you have a thirst for blood or laser beams coming out of your eyes.  It doesn’t matter if you’re a werewolf, a superhero, a clone, a time-traveler, or a vampire, love is the one thing that infects us all.  Read on to find out why Romeo and Juliet have nothing on these supernatural star-crossed lovers, and be sure to catch IFC’s Underworld movie marathon this Valentine’s Day weekend.

1. Cyclops/Jean Grey/Wolverine, X-Men series

The X-Men franchise is rife with romance, but the steamiest “ménage à mutant” may just be the one between Jean Grey (Famke Janssen), Cyclops (James Marsden), and Wolverine (Hugh Jackman). Their triangle is a complicated one as Jean finds herself torn between the two very different men while also trying to control her darker side, the Phoenix. This leads to Jean killing Cyclops and eventually getting stabbed through her heart by Wolverine in X-Men: The Last Stand. Yikes!  Maybe they should change the name to Ex-Men instead?


2. Willow/Tara, Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Joss Whedon gave audiences some great romances on Buffy the Vampire Slayer — including the central triangle of Buffy, Angel, and Spike — but it was the love between witches Willow (Alyson Hannigan) and Tara (Amber Benson) that broke new ground for its sensitive and nuanced portrayal of a LGBT relationship.

Willow is smart and confident and isn’t even sure of her sexuality when she first meets Tara at college in a Wiccan campus group. As the two begin experimenting with spells, they realize they’re also falling for one another and become the show’s most enduring, happy couple. At least until Tara’s death in season six, a moment that still brings on the feels.


3. Selene/Michael, Underworld series

The Twilight gang pales in comparison (both literally and metaphorically) to the Lycans and Vampires of the stylish Underworld franchise. If you’re looking for an epic vampire/werewolf romance set amidst an epic vampire/werewolf war, Underworld handily delivers in the form of leather catsuited Selene (Kate Beckinsale) and shaggy blonde hunk Michael (a post-Felicity Scott Speedman). As they work together to stop the Vampire/Lycan war, they give into their passions while also kicking butt in skintight leather. Love at first bite indeed.


4. Spider-man/Mary Jane Watson, Spider-man

After rushing to the aid of beautiful girl-next-door Mary Jane Watson (Kirsten Dunst), the Amazing Spider-man is rewarded with an upside-down kiss that is still one of the most romantic moments in comic book movie history. For Peter Parker (Tobey Maguire), the shy, lovable dork beneath the mask, his rain-soaked makeout session is the culmination of years of unrequited love and one very powerful spider bite. As the films progress, Peter tries pushing MJ away in an attempt to protect her from his enemies, but their web of love is just too powerful. And you know, with great power, comes great responsibility.


5. Molly/Sam, Ghost

When it comes to supernatural romance, you really can’t beat Molly and Sam from the 1990 hit film Ghost. Demi Moore goes crazy for Swayze like the rest of us, and the pair make pottery sexier than it’s ever been.

When Sam is murdered, he’s forced to communicate through con artist turned real psychic, Oda Mae Brown (Whoopi Goldberg in her Academy Award-winning role) to warn Molly she is still in danger from his co-worker, Carl (a pre-Scandal Tony Goldwyn). Molly doesn’t believe Oda is telling the truth, so Sam proves it by sliding a penny up the wall and then possessing Oda so he and Molly can share one last romantic dance together (but not the dirty kind). We’d pay a penny for a dance with Patrick Swayze ANY day.


6. Cosima/Delphine, Orphan Black

It stands to reason there would be at least one complicated romance on a show about clones, and none more complicated than the one between clone Cosima (Tatiana Maslany) and Dr. Delphine Cormier (Evelyne Brochu) on BBC America’s hit drama Orphan Black.

Cosima is a PhD student focusing on evolutionary developmental biology at the University of Minnesota when she meets Delphine, a research associate from the nefarious Dyad Institute, posing as a fellow immunology student. The two fall in love, but their happiness is brief once Dyad and the other members of Clone Club get involved. Here’s hoping Cosima finds love in season four of Orphan Black. Girlfriend could use a break.


7. Aragorn/Arwen, Lord of the Rings

On a picturesque bridge in Rivendell amidst some stellar mood-lighting and dreamy Elvish language with English subtitles for us non-Middle Earthlings, Arwen (Liv Tyler) and Aragorn (Viggo Mortensen) bind their souls to one another, pledging to love each other no matter what befalls them.

Their courtship is a matter of contention with Arwen’s father, Elrond (Hugo Weaving), who doesn’t wish to see his daughter suffer over Aragorn’s future death. The two marry after the conclusion of the War of the Ring, with Aragorn assuming his throne as King of Gondor, and Arwen forgoing her immortality to become his Queen. Is it too much to assume they asked Frodo to be their wedding ring-bearer?


8. Lafayette/Jesus, True Blood

True Blood quickly became the go-to show for supernatural sex scenes featuring future Magic Mike strippers (Joe Manganiello) and pale Nordic men with washboard abs (Hi Alexander Skarsgård!), but honestly, there was a little something for everyone, including fan favorite Bon Temps medium, Lafayette Reynolds (Nelsan Ellis).

In season three, Lafayette met his mother’s nurse, Jesus, and the two began a relationship. As they spend more time together and start doing V (short for Vampire Blood), they learn Jesus is descended from a long line of witches and that Lafayette himself has magical abilities. However, supernatural love is anything but simple, and after the pair join a coven, Lafayette becomes possessed by the dead spirit of its former leader. This relationship certainly puts a whole new spin on possessive love.


9. Nymphadora Tonks/Remus Lupin, Harry Potter series

There are lots of sad characters in the Harry Potter series, but Remus Lupin ranks among the saddest. He was bitten by a werewolf as a child, his best friend was murdered and his other best friend was wrongly imprisoned in Azkaban for it, then THAT best friend was killed by a Death Eater at the Ministry of Magic as Remus looked on. So when Lupin unexpectedly found himself in love with badass Auror and Metamorphmagus Nymphadora Tonks (she prefers to be called by her surname ONLY, thank you very much), pretty much everyone, including Lupin himself, was both elated and cautiously hopeful about their romance and eventual marriage.

Sadly, the pair met a tragic ending when both were killed by Death Eaters during the Battle of Hogwarts, leaving their son, Teddy, orphaned much like his godfather Harry Potter. Accio hankies!


10. The Doctor/Rose Tyler, Doctor Who

Speaking of wolves, Rose “Bad Wolf” Tyler (Billie Piper) captured the Doctor’s hearts from the moment he told her to “Run!” in the very first episode of the re-booted Doctor Who series. Their affection for one another grew steadily deeper during their travels in the TARDIS, whether they were stuck in 1950s London, facing down pure evil in the Satan Pit, or battling Cybermen.

But their relationship took a tragic turn during the season two finale episode, “Doomsday,” when the Tenth Doctor (David Tennant) and Rose found themselves separated in parallel universes with no way of being reunited (lest two universes collapse as a result of a paradox). A sobbing Rose told a holographic transmission of the Doctor she loved him, but before he could reply, the transmission cut out, leaving our beloved Time Lord (and most of the audience) with a tear-stained face and two broken hearts all alone in the TARDIS.

Portlandia Behind the Scenes: Guest Stars

portlandia-season-2-ifc-coming-soon-extended-sneak-peek

Posted by on

Fred Armisen and Carrie Brownstein and director Jonathan Krisel are the heart of “Portlandia,” but it’s not just their smiling faces, quick wit, and skills behind the camera that keep fans clamoring for one more episode of the sketch comedy show. Part of the show’s allure is the incredible guest stars they entice into taking a trip to the wonderfully weird, wacky and all too true world of “Portlandia.”

We got Fred, Carrie, and Jon to talk about working with the musical guests in an earlier video, including what it’s like to work withEddie Vedder and Joanna Newsom. In this look behind the scenes of “Portlandia,” Fred, Carrie, and Jon talk about working with an incredible group of guest stars like Kyle Maclachlan, Amber Tamblyn, Jeff Goldblum, Kristen Wiig, and Andy Samberg, and how to keep a straight face when Kumail Nanjiani is asking if you want to put a lobster on top of your meal.

video player loading . . .

Want the latest news from Portlandia? Like us on Facebook and follow us on @IFCportlandia and use the hashtag #Portlandia.

“Portlandia” airs on IFC on Fridays at 10/9c

Portland’s Most Ill-Advised Valentine’s Date Spots

oregon theater by todd mecklem

Posted by on

(Photo by Todd Mecklem)

Hey guys: So, I realize it is pretty late to change any Valentine’s Day plans, but it’s not too late. Especially if you’re planning on taking your date to any of the places I’ve listed below. It’s not that there’s anything wrong with these establishments 364 days out of the year. But for V-Day? C’mon. No matter what you think of the holiday—yes, yes, we all know it’s a crass capitalist invention attempting to monetize human emotion for the benefit of card companies, chocolate manufacturers and soft jazz record labels—it’s still something you have to put effort into, lest you wind up spending the night on a cot in the basement. I’m here to get you out of trouble. Even if you’re just about to leave to pick up your girlfriend/wife/mistress/et. al., please scan this list. There’s still time to reconsider!

Poseidon Seafood Bar & Grill
503 W Burnside St., (503) 525-4900

In fairness, I’ve never actually eaten at Poseidon. I’m sure the food is fine. I have—and I’m ashamed to admit this—been in the building before, however. About two years ago. Back then, it used to be called Cabaret. It was a strip club. Not just any strip club, but quite possibly the skeeziest, sleaziest, nastiest strip club in Portland. I saw a woman undulate with several Band-Aids lining her abdomen. Every dancer looked unhealthily skinny. This wasn’t the day shift, either; it was midnight on a Saturday. Also, one time when I was just walking past, a gentlemen came out of the club, followed me up the street and tried to sell me crack. And last year—on Valentine’s Day, coincidentally—the city declared the place a threat to public safety, leading to its closure and replacement by this family seafood joint.

Anyway, enjoy your crab!

Alternative: Acropolis Steakhouse (8325 SE McLoughlin Blvd., 503-231-9611). Yes, it’s a strip club. Yes, from the outside, it looks like an abandoned sawmill. Yes, the steaks are alarmingly cheap. But at least your date knows what she’s getting into. After all, isn’t visiting an ancient Indian burial ground less frightening than unwittingly living on top of one? Plus, the owner also owns a cattle farm, so the steaks are actually pretty good.

Yamhill Pub
223 SW Yamhill St., (503) 295-6613

If the Buzzcocks taught us anything, it’s that punks are hopeless romantics, too. But even the punkest of punk chicks would recoil in horror if their dog-collared beau took them to the Yamhill Pub. It’s as if someone built a bar inside CBGB’s famously grotesque bathroom. Any other day of the year, that might sound inviting for drinkers who prefer their bars ultra-scuzzy. On Valentine’s Day, it’ll only remind your date that the holiday’s initials are “VD.”

Alternative: The Know (2026 NE Alberta St., 503-473-8729). Same ‘tude, less urine smell.

Enchanted Forest
8462 Enchanted Way SE in Turner, OR, (503) 363-3060

Oh, you probably thought sneaking into an off-season amusement park would be a brilliantly unique, thrillingly dangerous way to impress your significant other, huh? Well, wait until your loved one finds herself in Storybook Lane, surrounded by a creepy laughing egg and a giant witch’s face, and has a panic attack, causing you to spend the drive all the way back from Salem reassuring her that they’re only inanimate objects and not physical manifestations of her deepest, darkest fears. You’ll end up in each other’s arms, all right. Unfortunately, the crying will negate the romance.

Alternative: Oaks Amusement Park (7805 SE Oaks Park Way, 503-233-5777). It’s got rides, rollerskating, and a huge organ suspended from the ceiling that plays itself. Which is kind of unsettling, but not nearly as much as this.

Oregon Theater
3530 SE Division St. , (503) 232-7469

Who the hell are you, Travis Bickle? Sure, the theater is something of a neighborhood landmark, having played foreign and art-house films as far back as the 1920s. But those days are long gone. Now, it’s all porn, all the time. Of course, considering the dwindling number of adult theaters across the country, you could make an argument that it’s a piece of Portland history, and that visiting wouldn’t be much different than going to a museum…on second thought, play it safe and stay away.

Alternative: Laurelhurst Theater (2735 E Burnside St., 503-232-5511). Good beer, great pizza, and they’ve got some excellent second-run date flicks playing right now. I’ve heard “Shame” is pretty sexy…

Powered by ZergNet