Portland’s Five Thingiest Bands


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In a city where bands should be considered on the census, for musicians, simply writing good songs isn’t enough. You need to have a Thing. Whether it’s playing toy instruments or making beats from the sound of crying babies or recruiting your cat as a full-fledged member (foreshadowing!), an extra level of ingenuity is required for bands in Portland to rise above the competition. As you’ll see below, some band’s Things are better than others.

MarchFourth Marching Band

Members: Ryan Moore; Jenny Pancake; Richard Cawley; Dan Stauffer; Alex Yore; Aspen Walker; Dan Herrick; Keith Vidos; Ashley Ward; Andy Sterling; Michael Kennett; Heather McGarry; Topher McGarry; Jason Wells; Katie Presley; Joel Ricci; Daniel Lamb; Chris Long; Taylor Aglipay; Andy Shapiro; Michelle Christiansen; Luke Solman; Robin Jackson; Domonic Britton; Jenny Johnson; Matt Moor; Russ Liquid; BennyMo; Ethan Chessin; Eric Miller; Lesilie Kernochan; Katie Colgan; John Avril; Sid Simpatico; Aaron Lyon; Jeremiah Guske; Amy Hotfield; Scarlett Rose; Faith Jennings; Nayana Jennings; Jen Forti; LaTisha Strickland; Nathan Wallway; Aaron Levin; Alex; Eric Quist; StarChadStar; Kevee Balmer; Michael Taluc; Marnee Benson.

Sounds Like: Gogol Bordello’s Traveling Circus.

Their Thing: Fusing a funky, New Orleans-style brass band with a whole host of other sounds, then welding it to a Cirque du Soleil-like spectacle, complete with dancers and stilt-walkers.

Thing Score: 4 (out of 5). Making a scene will always get you noticed in this town, and M4 can make a scene like no other.


Members: Throat Rot; Ysan; Christo Bas; Roku; Explorer.

Sounds Like: Heavy, technically proficient, larynx-burning metal.

Their Thing: Dressing like ninjas.

Thing Rating: 3. While Ninja goes all-in with the theme—concealing their identity, creating a whole origin myth—it’s hard to imagine true ninjas playing something so loud, given their stealth and ability is drawn from having zen-like calm. Real ninjas are probably into more loungey, chill-out, downtempo type stuff.

(Photo by Derek Dahms)


Members: Alex Gall; Yoon; Q; Maddog; Chairman; Chad Deitchley.

Sounds Like: Something akin to an Oingo Boingo-Dead Kennedys supergroup covering the Mothers of Invention.

Their Thing: In 2006, the band released “Welcome to New Granada,” a rock opera based on the film “Over the Edge.”

Thing Rating: 2. DRATS!!! has established itself as one of Portland’s zaniest institutions, so nothing it does could be considered a true Thing, no matter how off-the-wall. Insanity is just its style. Now, if it put out a concept album about “Over the Top,” then we can talk about that rating.


Members: Um…not available?

Sounds Like: I’ll pass this over to my friend and colleague, AP Kryza, who wrote of the band a couple years ago, “Did Frank Zappa accidentally eat the brown acid and have an Eraserhead baby? If not, how the hell did Marmits happen?”

Their Thing: Masks and costumes apparently purchased from a Troma Studios garage sale.

Thing Rating: 4. Really, when you make music as frighteningly obtuse and purposely polarizing as mARMITs, you need a good Thing to have any audience at all. Looking like an acid-fried Slipknot and talking like creatures from an ’80s Jim Henson movie is a good Thing.

(Photo by Tarina Westlund)

Portland Cello Project

Members: Justin Kagan; Skip Von Kuske; Gideon Freudmann; Anna Fritz; Allegra M; Sonja Myklebust; Galen Cohen; Kevin Jackson; Douglas Jenkins; Ashia Grzesik; Samantha Kushnick; Robert Brooks; Brian Bruner; Emma Wood; Collin Oldham; Melissa Bach; Sarah Young; John Whaley; Jen Harrison; Teagen Andrews; Jourdan Paul; Jill Coykendall; Leander Star; Elise Blatchford; Matt Berger; John Vecchiarrelli; Rachel Blumberg.

Sounds Like: Your favorite songs, made safe for your grandma.

Their Thing: Adapting everyone from Britney Spears to Kanye West to Pantera to cello.

Thing Rating: 5. If you could see how crazy everyone around here gets whenever the PCP cello-izes a new hip-hop or pop hit (which is a lot), you’d understand why their Thing is the best Thing going in Portland.

That 70s Hyde

Higher Learning

Stoner Wisdom From That ’70s Show’s Circle

Catch That '70s Show Mondays and Tuesdays from 6-11P on IFC.

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The gang from That ’70s Show had some of their deepest conversations in “The Circle.” They also never failed to crack themselves (and us) up. Get high on knowledge with some deep thoughts from “The Circle.”

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D's Best

Tenacious D’s 10 Most Insane Live Performances

Catch The D at Festival Supreme Saturday, October 10th.


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Tencious D knows how to rock. Hard. And they’ll be melting faces with the power of their rocking this Saturday, October 10th, at Festival Supreme in Los Angeles. As a tribute to The D and their awesome comedy and music festival, check out some of their most mindblowing-ly insane live performances below. How will their Festival Supreme appearance compare? Better grab tickets and find out.

10. Wonderboy on Late Night w/ Conan O’Brien

The boys get to play dress up in this classic Conan clip.

9. Ben Stiller Joins The D (NSFW)

It’s all fun and games until Ben Stiller crushes your dreams.

8. “Throw Down” on The Late Late Show

The boys’ religious history lesson is a bit more Metal than your typical Sunday school class.

7. “Dude (I Totally Miss You)” Live (NSFW)

KG threatens to leave the band, but can’t resist the silken voice of best friend Jables.

6.Tribute” feat. Dave Grohl from MADtv

You don’t often think of rock when it comes to MADtv, but when they let The D loose the result was TV gold.

5. All Jazz, All The Time in Milan

Jack announces that Tenacious D is now a jazz band, and somehow still makes it sound hardcore.

4.Roadie” at SXSW (NSFW)

“Coming to you live at the…what is this place?,” the boys take a moment to honor the unsung heroes of rock.

3.Beelzeboss” on Late Night with Jimmy Fallon

Lead guitarist John Konesky is possessed by the Devil, and the only way to save him is to rock!

2. “F*ck Her Gently” at Blizzcon (NSFW)

JB teaches us how to make love The D way in this classic performance from the 2010 Blizzcon.

1. “The Metal” Live and Uncut

The only way this could be more metal is if it were not a video clip, but a bar of iron.

Gigi Does It Ice Skating

Gigi's Ready, Are You?

5 Ways to Get Ready for Tonight’s Gigi Does It

Catch Gigi Does It Mondays at 10:30P on IFC.

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Garfield might hate Mondays, but now that Gigi Does It is in its new time slot Mondays at 10:30P ET/PT, it’s your new favorite day of the week. Here are five ways you can get ready for tonight’s all-new episode.

1. Watch David Krumholtz Become Gigi

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Wondering how David Krumholtz transforms into Gigi? Check out a video time lapse to see the incredible work that goes on behind-the-scenes of Gigi Does It.

2. Get in Touch With Your Inner Kristy Yamatushy

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This week Gigi and Ricky hit the ice. Will they fall flat or soar like Olympic great Kristy Yamtushy?

3. See the Video That’s Too Hot for Facebook

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Gigi has a filthy mouth that is NSFW and Not Safe for Facebook. Check out the video Mark Zuckerberg doesn’t want you to see.

4. Read Gigi’s Book “Call Your Grandmother”

Call Your Grandmother

Gigi became an author recently when she self-published her heartwarming children’s book about the perils of forgetting to call your dear grandma. Read the story that could give Go the F**k to Sleep a run for its money on the bestseller charts.

5. Put on Something that Highlights Your Kishkes

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You’ll want to slip into something comfortable when you watch Gigi. Just ask poor Ricky.

Dodgeball 1920 Everett

Grab Life by the Ball

10 Things You Didn’t Know About Dodgeball

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There was a time, not long ago, when Ben Stiller, Vince Vaughn and their “Frat Pack” of fast-talking comedians ruled Hollywood. From Zoolander to Anchorman, these cut-ups couldn’t help but churn out hit after hit. Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story itself grossed $124 millon at the box office, even after every studio in town initially turned it down. Thanks to a wrench throwing Rip Torn and a Lance Armstrong cameo that’s more uncomfortable in hindsight, this little comedy that could has grown into a much-loved classic. To celebrate Comedy Crib’s new dodgeball comedy Ball or Nothing, here are a few fun facts you may not know about the comedy that told us to “grab life by the ball.”

10. The Hoff’s Cameo Was Last Minute Magic

David Hasselhoff’s cameo as coach of the German team was a last minute addition, after stunt coordinator Alex Daniel mentioned he knew the Baywatch beefcake personally.

9. Roadhouse Was An Inspiration

Stiller is a film connoisseur, so it’s no surprise he chose to honor the seminal ’80s action classic Roadhouse by using Patrick Swayze’s hairdo as inspiration for his character, calling it a “super quaffed power mullet.”

8. Justin Long Took One For The Team

Rip Torn played the wheelchair-bound coach Patches O’Houlihan who motivated the team by hurling wrenches at them. The prop wrenches were made out of rubber, but that didn’t make things easier for Justin Long, who had his eyebrow split open after one particularly hard throw. Patches (and Torn) doesn’t mess around.

7. The Director Pulled A Hitchcock

For his feature film debut, writer/director Rawson Marshall Thurber made a cameo appearance as the guy who throws a drink at Steve the Pirate in Vegas.

6. Happy Accidents Helped Make It A Classic

Vaughn’s character, Peter LaFleur, makes a unique first impression in the movie, having a group of guys push his stalled car up to the Average Joe’s gym. This was in fact a last minute addition after the car on set actually broke down.

5. Norm Macdonald Made a Cameo

In a film chock full of cameos, the most unheralded probably goes to Norm Macdonald, who was supposedly an extra in the background during the Globo Gym ad. Is that him in the clip above lifting weights next to some musclebound bro-dude? Sure looks like Norm.

4. The Film Gave a WWE Diva Her Big Break

Future WWE Diva Candice Michelle briefly appeared as a sideline dancer, long before taking her talents to the ring.

3. Patches O’Houlihan Was Inspired By The “Miracle on Ice”

Patches insults his players by saying “it’s like watching a bunch of retards trying to hump a doorknob.” This was in fact a reference to the 1980 U.S. Olympic Hockey coach Herb Brooks, who once said “it’s like watching a monkey trying to hump a football.”

2. The Writer/Director Made the Terry Tate Office Linebaker Ads

Dodgeball wasn’t Rawson Marshall Thurber first time tackling sports comedy — he got noticed after directing the memorable Reebok ads where NFL player Terry Tate enforces office etiquette through punishing tackles.

1. Dodgeball Will Be Back!

It was announced in 2013 that Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story would be getting a sequel, which will no doubt be called Dodgeball 2: The Search for Patches’ Golden Wrench.

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