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DID YOU READ

“Mixology” Revisited

cocktails

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On last week’s “Portlandia,” we learned just how far Portlanders will travel for a bizarrely obscure cocktail—all the way to the badlands of Los Angeles. Luckily, most of us don’t have to go much further than up the street (or, y’know, to the Pearl) to find a mixed drink you never knew existed because you have no idea how to even pronounce what’s in it. Here, bartenders from five of the city’s best cocktail bars offer some of their most arcane recipes for your imbibing pleasure. Getting hammered has never been so…abstruse!

Beaker and Flask
720 SE Sandy Blvd., (503) 235-8180

From owner Kevin Ludwig:

Zanahorita

2 oz reposado tequila
3/4 oz lime juice
3/4 oz triple sec
1 oz fresh carrot juice
1/2 oz simple syrup
pinch of cumin

Shake and strain over ice in a salted rim glass. Garnish with a dusting of cumin.

Sal’s Minion

2.5 oz good, aged rum
3/4 oz pineapple gomme

Pour the above over four large coconut water ice cubes and stir.

Grounded for Life

1.5 oz Mazama Pepper Vodka
3/4 oz triple sec
3/4 oz fresh lime
3/4 oz simple syrup
1 oz fresh celery juice

Shake and strain into a salted rim glass.


Gruner
527 SW 12 Ave., (503) 241-7163

From bartender Dave Shenaut:

Rest for the Wicked

1 oz Zirbenz Stone Pine Liqueur
3/4 oz Krogstad Aquavit (It’s local!)
3/4 oz lemon juice
3/4 oz 2:1 clover honey syrup
3/4 egg whites

Combine. Shake without ice, then add ice and shake again. Fine strain into a chilled cocktail glass, then with an eye-dropper drop dots of creme de violette and etch out little hearts with a toothpick.


Secret Society
116 NE Russell St., (503) 493-3600

From bartender Michael Sellers:

The Orchard

2 oz applejack
1/2 oz lillet blanc
1/2 oz cynar
3/4 oz cranberry juice
3 dashes of orange bitters served up

Applejack is pretty cool because you don’t see it pop up in too many cocktails these days. It is from one of the oldest distilleries in America; I believe it dates back to the 1750s. It is kind of a cross between calvados and grain whiskey. The other kind of obscure liquor in this is cynar, which is an Italian bitter liquor made from artichoke hearts. You put all these things together and you get a kind of woody, apple-like, complex, boozy glass of goodness.


Teardrop Cocktail Lounge
1015 NW Everett St., (503) 445-8109

From bartender Daniel Shoemaker:

African Swallow

Martin Miller’s Westbourne Strength gin
Homemade blood orange shrub
Homemade Kina Lillet
Elixir Vegetale

Blood orange shrub: A hybrid between a colonial shrub and the more modern Creole Shrubb (produced by an Agricole Rhum family). Fresh blood orange juice and zest, balsamic vinegar reduced with sugar and spices (licorice root, sarsaparilla root, marshmallow root, Szechuan peppercorns, green cardamom), macerated with high-proof rum, and finally barrel-aged in new French oak for nine months.

Kina Lillet: The aperitif changed its recipe in the early ’80s, removing some of the bittering agents and making it lighter and more bright orange. This is our house approximation of the original formula.

Elixir Vegetale: From the same monks who make green & yellow chartreuse, this is a much more concentrated, higher-proof version of the same.



Whiskey Soda Lounge
3131 SE Division St., (503) 232-0102

From operations manager Matthew Adams:

Gin Apple Rickey

1 oz apple drinking vinegar
1.5 oz of gin

In a tall glass, pour the drinking vinegar and gin over ice. Fill with soda water, squeeze a lemon wedge over the top and garnish with an amarena cherry.

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Give Back

Last-Minute Holiday Gift Guide

Hits from the '80s are on repeat all Christmas Eve and Day on IFC.

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GIFs via Giphy, Photos via The Everett Collection

It’s the final countdown to Christmas and thanks to IFC’s movie marathon all Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, you can revel in classic ’80s films AND find inspiration for your last-minute gifts. Here are our recommendations, if you need a head start:

Musical Instrument

Great analog entertainment substitute when you refuse to give your kid the Nintendo Switch they’ve been drooling over.

Breakfast In Bed

Any significant other or child would appreciate these Uncle Buck-approved flapjacks. Just make sure you’re not stuck on clean up duty.

Cocktail Supplies

You’ll need them to get through the holidays.

Dance Lessons

So you can learn to shake-shake-shake (unless you know ghosts willing to lend a hand).

Comfy Clothes

With all the holiday meals, there may be some…embigenning.



Get even more great inspiration all Christmas Eve and Day on IFC, and remember…

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A-O Rewind

Celebrating Portlandia One Sketch at a Time

The final season of Portlandia approaches.

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GIFs via Giphy

Most people measure time in minutes, hours, days, years…At IFC, we measure it in sketches. And nothing takes us way (waaaaaay) back like Portlandia sketches. Yes, there’s a Portlandia milepost from every season that changed the way we think, behave, and pickle things. In honor of Portlandia’s 8th and final season, Subaru presents a few of our favorites.

via GIPHY

Put A Bird On It

Portlandia enters the pop-culture lexicon and inspires us to put birds on literally everything.

Colin the Chicken

Who’s your chicken, really? Behold the emerging locavore trend captured perfectly to the nth degree.

Dream Of The ’90s

This treatise on Portland made it clear that “the dream” was alive and well.

No You Go

We Americans spend most of our lives in cars. Fortunately, there’s a Portlandia sketch for every automotive situation.

A-O River!

We learned all our outdoor survival skills from Kath and Dave.

One More Episode

The true birth of binge watching, pre-Netflix. And what you’ll do once Season 8 premieres.

Catch up on Portlandia’s best moments before the 8th season premieres January 18th on IFC.

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WTF Films

Artfully Off

Celebrity All-Star by Sisters Weekend is available now on IFC's Comedy Crib.

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Sisters Weekend isn’t like other comedy groups. It’s filmmaking collaboration between besties Angelo Balassone, Michael Fails and Kat Tadesco, self-described lace-front addicts with great legs who write, direct, design and produce video sketches and cinematic shorts that are so surreally hilarious that they defy categorization. One such short film, Celebrity All-Star, is the newest addition to IFC’s Comedy Crib. Here’s what they had to say about it in a very personal email interview…

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IFC: How would you describe Celebrity All-Star to a fancy network executive you just met in an elevator?

Celebrity All-Star is a short film about an overworked reality TV coordinator struggling to save her one night off after the cast of C-List celebrities she wrangles gets locked out of their hotel rooms.

IFC: How would you describe Celebrity All-Star to a drunk friend of a friend you met in a bar?

Sisters Weekend: It’s this short we made for IFC where a talent coordinator named Karen babysits a bunch of weird c-list celebs who are stuck in a hotel bar. It’s everyone you hate from reality TV under one roof – and that roof leaks because it’s a 2-star hotel. There’s a magician, sexy cowboys, and a guy wearing a belt that sucks up his farts.

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IFC: What was the genesis of Celebrity All-Star?

Celebrity All-Star was born from our love of embarrassing celebrities. We love a good c-lister in need of a paycheck! We were really interested in the canned politeness people give off when forced to mingle with strangers. The backstory we created is that the cast of this reality show called “Celebrity All-Star” is in the middle of a mandatory round of “get to know each other” drinks in the hotel bar when the room keys stop working. Shows like Celebrity Ghost Hunters and of course The Surreal Life were of inspo, but we thought it
was funny to keep it really vague what kind of show they’re on, and just focus on everyone’s diva antics after the cameras stop rolling.

IFC: Every celebrity in Celebrity All-Star seems familiar. What real-life pop personalities did you look to for inspiration?

Sisters Weekend: Anyone who is trying to plug their branded merch that no one asked for. We love low-rent celebrity. We did, however, directly reference Kylie Jenner’s turd-raison lip color for our fictional teen celebutante Gibby Kyle (played by Mary Houlihan).

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IFC: Celebrity seems disgusting yet desirable. What’s your POV? Do you crave it, hate it, or both?

Sisters Weekend: A lot of people chase fame. If you’re practical, you’ll likely switch to chasing success and if you’re smart, you’ll hopefully switch to chasing happiness. But also, “We need money. We need hits. Hits bring money, money bring power, power bring fame, fame change the game,” Young Thug.

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IFC: Who are your comedy idols?

Sisters Weekend: Mike grew up renting “Monty Python” tapes from the library and staying up late to watch 2000’s SNL, Kat was super into Andy Kaufman and “Kids In The Hall” in high school, and Angelo was heavily influenced by “Strangers With Candy” and Anna Faris in the Scary Movie franchise, so, our comedy heroes mesh from all over. But, also we idolize a lot of the people we work with in NY-  Lorelei Ramirez, Erin Markey, Mary Houlihan, who are all in the film, Amy Zimmer, Ana Fabrega, Patti Harrison, Sam Taggart. Geniuses! All of Em!

IFC: What’s your favorite moment from the film?

Sisters Weekend: I mean…seeing Mary Houlihan scream at an insane Pomeranian on an iPad is pretty great.

See Sisters Weekend right now on IFC’s Comedy Crib

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