DID YOU READ

Live Chat with Fred and Carrie: The Transcript

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While the second season of “Portlandia” aired on IFC, the show’s stars and creators, Fred Armisen and Carrie Brownstein live chatted with fans online. In case you missed it, here’s the transcript:

Sabrina Pride, Unknown, N/A
Q: When Fred isn’t wearing glasses, does he wear contacts?

Fred, New York, NY:
A: On SNL for cue cards.


Travis Brown
Blacksburg, Virginia
Q: Also, will there be a tram sketch someday…? That’d be interesting somehow.

Fred, New York, NY
A: I tried to think of one but there wasn’t a way into what it would be. I really want to.


Mallard Jenkins, Bangalore, India
Q: Would it be possible for there to be a sketch where everybody in Portland is wearing Cosby sweaters except for you two?

Fred, New York, NY
A: We would need to get permission,


Ralph D’Iorio, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Q: “Toni and Candace”(sp) is also the couple of Dallas QB Tony Romo and his wife..isnt that hilarious? Cowboys suck.

Fred, New York, NY
A: Really? And…they do?


guest811900, Unknown
Q: If your bookstore characters were to actually go on a date with a man, what would that man say to subdue defensiveness?

Fred, New York, NY
A: Maybe they DO go on dates with guys! We kept their actual gender preference ambiguous


Jen Masi, Unknown, N/A
Q: If a “Portlandia” film was based off of a pair of characters who would star in the film?

Fred, New York, NY
A: I feel like maybe Toni and Candace


guest811671, Unknown
Q: Love your take on human interaction. How big is your staff of writers, or are the sketches a reflection of your lives?

Fred, New York, NY
A: There are like seven or so.


Chachi Guerrero, Unknown
Q: Have you guys ever thought about doing the same thing as the show but for other “Cool” cities in the long run?

Fred, New York, NY
A: It would be fun somehow.


Kelly Collier Andre, Unknown
Q: Will Carrie and you be logging in again this season to chat with the Portmaniacs?

Fred, New York, NY
A: I’d like to. It’s nice to hear what people want to know.


Troy Ramsay, Unknown
Q: Are the Trailblazers going to be on the show?

Fred, New York, NY
A: In a way. You’ll see…


Luckas Arias-Torfs, Boca Raton, Florida
Q: what songs are in the “mix drinks” mixtape?

Fred, New York, NY
A: I have to look that up!


guest810465, Unknown
Q: Did you guys make music together before?

Fred, New York, NY
A: Not before, no.


Mallard Jenkins, Bangalore, India
Q: Will there ever be a sketch in the Oregon Zoo?

Fred, New York, NY
A: Maybe sometime.


Madison Hawley, New Glarus, Wisconsin
Q: What was your favorite new characters in season 2?

Fred, New York, NY
A: Brendan and Michelle. You’ll see who they are.


guest811699, Unknown
Q: This show is hilarious – I’m laughing out loud – is Portland really like this?

Fred, New York, NY
A: Thank you! It’s heightened a bit.


Ralph D’Iorio, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Q: You two are both like my heroes,being rockers and funny people…but what weapon would you choose in a death match again

Fred, New York, NY
A: A typewriter


Brian Fidler, Norwalk, Connecticut
Q: How did you two meet and come up with this awesome show?

Fred, New York, NY
A: We just felt like doing it. And that’s how it turned out.


guest811617, Unknown
Q: Fred, this isn’t a question, but your Bad ass on the Loop Pedal! Twice The Silentsound.. Baltimore Md

Fred, New York, NY
A: I’m still learning! I am addicted to it. I’ll be doing shows in Brooklyn with it in February


Ed Hurtley, Unknown
Q: What has been your favorite Portlandia skit to film? (Whether due to the content, or conditions during filming, etc.)

Fred, New York, NY
A: Feminist Bookstore is always fun.


guest811866, Unknown
Q: Do you see Portlandia as not just a comedy show, but also serving as a statement on our society?

Fred, New York, NY
A: It’s more about how people relate to each other. Sometimes it’s a comedy.


Madison Hawley, New Glarus, Wisconsin
Q: Is the mayor going to release a reggae album anytime soon?

Fred, New York, NY
A: Only on cassette.


Mallard Jenkins, Bangalore, India
Q: After Spyke gets married, is his baby gonna be born with gauges?

Fred, New York, NY
A: Little teeny ones.


Ian Moore, New Paltz (village), New York
Q: How large is your writing staff?

Fred, New York, NY
A: Myself, Carrie, Karey Dornetto and Jon Krisel. And Bill Oakley and Allison Silverman. Doug Lussenhop, one of our editors wrote a piece.


Lilian Oliveira Gifford, Unknown
Q: Do you guys live in Portland?

Fred, New York, NY
A: 😉


guest811554, Unknown
Q: Is Lance’s voice auto-tuned?

Carrie, New York, NY
A: Yep. Did you really think that was my voice?


Luckas Arias-Torfs, Boca Raton, Florida
Q: Since Portlandia has been gaining fame, have you guys been offered to do a Portlandia movie?

Carrie, New York, NY
A: Fingers crossed!


guest811224, Unknown
Q: Did I see Eddie Vedder as a guest on your show?

Fred, New York, NY
A: Yes! How cool is that?! He’s the best.


Blinker Bot, Unknown
Q: Are you afraid of robots?

Carrie, New York, NY
A: Nope. Should I be?


guest811477, Unknown
Q: Carrie, do you ever go to see Fred on SNL?

Carrie, New York, NY
A: When I am in NYC, yes.


Kathy Rodriguez, New York, New York
Q: Why does the sun go round the moon?

Fred, New York, NY
A: I’m glad we have you as a fan.


guest810795, Unknown
Q: What’s the weirdest idea for a sketch you ever came up with, but never got around to doing?

Carrie, New York, NY
A: I feel like all of our ideas are weird.


Laura Hermann, New York, New York
Q: Do you use real locations in Portland for the show?

Fred, New York, NY
A: Yes, totally!


guest809771, Unknown
Q: If you were really hungry and only had a enough money for a hotdog or pretzel. What would be your choice? no toppings

Carrie, New York, NY
A: Pretzel


Amanda Bartram, Unknown
Q: Who has been the most interesting guest star to work with?

Carrie, New York, NY
A: They’re all pretty interesting!


guest809962, Unknown
Q: I would like to see you play each other, any plans to do so?

Fred, New York, NY
A: I’m close to nailing an impression of Carrie.


Charlie Shulman, Linfield, Pennsylvania
Q: What is the most rewarding part of making the show?

Fred, New York, NY
A: Personally, I get to hang out in an awesome city and have fun with my friends. It’s all good!


Kimberly Yee, Unknown
Q: How come Fred plays women so well?

Fred, New York, NY
A: Because I’m sensitive and caring.


Jon Nicholas III, Unknown
Q: When are you all going to have Tim & Eric on the show? It’s gotta happen, right?!

Carrie, New York, NY
A: We would love that. right?


Amanda Bartram, Unknown
Q: What are some of your comedy influences and/or comedy heroes?

Carrie, New York, NY
A: Nichols and May. Gilda Radner. Kids in the Hall. Father Ted. Tina Fey.


guest809691, Unknown
Q: Do you get all of your inspiration from real Portlandians or from a random assortment of hipsters and hippies? Love it!

Fred, New York, NY
A: It comes from all over really. But Portland does have such a unique spirit. Thanks for loving it!


guest810604, Unknown
Q: Would you ever consider taking the show to another city?

Carrie, New York, NY
A: I think it would be fun to do an episode or two in another city. What about San Antonio?


Amanda Bartram, Unknown
Q: Carrie, when are you going to host Saturday Night Live?

Carrie, New York, NY
A: Oh, please. Never!! But I did go to the set today and met Charles Barkley!! He was very cool


Sarah Andre, Ocala, Florida
Q: Fred and Carrie, how have the citizens of Portland, Oregon reacted to the show?

Fred, New York, NY
A: They have been so cool. Really positive. And they let us film anywhere.


Cameron Seth Hilliard, Dallas, Texas
Q: How was “Feel It All Around” chosen for the show’s opening theme?

Carrie, New York, NY
A: That was one of those things wherein it was the placeholder music and we got really, really attached to it.


Sarah Andre, Ocala, Florida
Q: Fred and Carrie, how long does it typically take for you to write a sketch?

Carrie, New York, NY
A: It depends. Some sketches happen very quickly. Others take a little more tweaking and finessing.


guest809630, Unknown
Q: Are the sketches totally improvised, partially improvised or totally scripted?

Fred, New York, NY
A: 70% improvised


Meghan Walter, Unknown
Q: Who (guest star) did you enjoy working with the most on the new season?

Fred, New York, NY
A: Steve Jones from the Sex Pistols


guest809771
Q: Would you rather ride a unicorn through space or teach Shakespeare to underprivileged dinosaurs? You would die either way

Fred, New York, NY
A: Space always.


Want the latest news from the land of Portlandia? Like us on Facebook and follow us on @IFCportlandia and use the hashtag #Portlandia.

“Portlandia” airs on IFC on Fridays at 10/9c

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Very NSFW

The Brockmire Premiere Is All Truth

Watch The First Episode of Brockmire Right Now for Free

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At long last, the Brockmire pre-premiere has arrived. Which means you can watch it right now—on IFC.com, at Funny Or Die, on IFC’s Apple TV and mobile apps, on Youtube, on Facebook, on the AMC apps, and right here. So grab some headphones and get watching.

No seriously, get headphones.

Because whether he’s giving a play-by-play or ruminating on the world around him, Jim Brockmire calls it like he sees it. And how he sees it is very NSFW. His take on life is actually quite refreshing, even to the point of being profoundly sage. For proof just look at these pearls of unconventional wisdom from the premiere…

Brockmire On The Internet

“If I need porn I just buy a nudie mag, like my father and his father before him.”

Brockmire On Sex-Ed

“Kids, a strap-on is a belt with d— on it that mommies use to f— daddies.”
Brockmire-Strap-On

Brockmire On The Perfect High

“Somewhere between 10 cups of coffee and very low-grade cocaine.”
Brockmire-Perfect-High

Brockmire On The Tardiness of Spring

“Old man winter’s reaching his hand inside your coat to give that thing one more squeeze.”

Brockmire On Keeping Perspective

“I thought I hit rock bottom in a handicap restroom in Bangkok where a Thai lady-boy snorted crank off my johnson while a sunburnt German watched us on the toilet”
Brockmire-grain-salt

Brockmire On Humanity

“If you want to look directly into the gaping maw of oblivion, don’t look up to the heavens. Just look in the mirror.”
Jules-never-seen

See these nuggets and more in the first episode of Brockmire, and see the whole season beginning April 5 at 10P on IFC.

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Brockmire-Hank-Azaria-characters-blog

Thank Azaria

Best. Characters. Ever.

Our favorite Hank Azaria characters.

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Hank Azaria may well be the most prolific voice and character actor of our time. The work he’s done for The Simpsons alone has earned him a permanent place in the pop culture zeitgeist. And now he’s bringing another character to the mainstream: a washed-up sports announcer named Jim Brockmire, in the aptly titled new series Brockmire.

We’re looking forward to it. So much so that we want to look backward, too, with a short-but-sweet retrospective of some of Azaria’s important characters. Shall we begin?

Half The Recurring Simpsons Characters

He’s Comic Book Guy. He’s Chief Wiggum. He’s Apu. He’s Cletus. He’s Snake. He’s Superintendent Chalmers. He’s the Sea Captain. He’s Kurt “Can I Borrow A Feeling” Van Houten. He’s Professor Frink. He’s Carl. And he’s many more. But most importantly he’s Moe Szyslak, the staple character Azaria has voiced since his very first audition for The Simpsons.

Oh, and He’s Frank Grimes

For all the regular Simpsons characters Azaria has played over the years, his most brilliant performance may have been a one-off: Frank Grimes, the scrappy bootstrapper who worked tirelessly all his life for honest, incremental, and easily-undermined success. Azaria’s portrayal of this character was nuanced, emotional, and simply magical.

Patches O’Houlihan

Dodgeball is a “sport of violence, exclusion and degradation.” as Hank Azaria generously points out in his brief but crucial cameo in Dodgeball. That’s sage wisdom. Try applying his “five D’s” to your life on and off the court and enjoy the results.

Harold Zoid

Of Futurama fame. The crazy uncle of Dr. Zoidberg, Harold Zoid was once a lion (or lobster) of the silver screen until Smell-o-vision forced him into retirement.

Agador

The Birdcage was significant for many reasons, and the comic genius of Hank Azaria’s character “Agador” sits somewhere towards the top of that list. If you haven’t seen this movie, shame on you.

Gargamel

Nobody else could make a live-action Gargamel possible.

Ed Cochran

From Ray Donovan. Great character, great last name [editorial note: the author of this article may be bias].

Kahmunra, The Thinker, Abe Lincoln

All in the Night At The Museum: Battle Of The Smithsonian, a file that let Azaria flex his voice acting and live-action muscles in one fell swoop.

The Blue Raja

Mystery Men has everything, including a fatal case of Smash Mouth. Azaria’s iconic superhero makes the shortlist of redeemable qualities, though.

Dr. Huff

Huff put Azaria in a leading role, and it was good. So good that there is no good gif of it. Internet? More like Inter-not.

Learn more about Hank Azaria’s newest claim to fame right here, and don’t miss the premiere of Brockmire April 5 at 10P on IFC.

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Sneak_Peek

Flame Out

Brockmire and Other Public Implosions

Brockmire Premieres April 5 at 10P on IFC.

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There’s less than a month until the Brockmire premiere, and to say we’re excited would be an insulting understatement. It’s not just that it stars Hank Azaria, who can do no wrong (and yes, that’s including Mystery Men, which is only cringeworthy because of Smash Mouth). It’s that the whole backstory of the titular character, Jim Brockmire, is the stuff of legends. A one-time iconic sportscaster who won the hearts of fans and players alike, he fell from grace after an unfortunate personal event triggered a seriously public meltdown. See for yourself in the NSFW Funny or Die digital short that spawned the IFC series:

See? NSFW and spectacularly catastrophic in a way that could almost be real. Which got us thinking: What are some real-life sports fails that have nothing to do with botched athletics and everything to do with going tragically off script? The internet is a dark and dirty place, friends, but these three examples are pretty special and mostly safe for work…

Disgruntled Sports Reporter

His co-anchor went offsides and he called it like he saw it.

Jim Rome vs Jim “Not Chris” Everett

You just don’t heckle a professional athlete when you’re within striking distance. Common sense.

Carl Lewis’s National Anthem

He killed it! As in murdered. It’s dead.

To see more moments just like these, we recommend spending a day in your pajamas combing through the muckiness of the internet. But to see something that’s Brockmire-level funny without having to clear your browser history, check out the sneak peeks and extras here.

Don’t miss the premiere of Brockmire April 5 at 10P on IFC.

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