DID YOU READ

Live Chat with Fred and Carrie: The Transcript

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While the second season of “Portlandia” aired on IFC, the show’s stars and creators, Fred Armisen and Carrie Brownstein live chatted with fans online. In case you missed it, here’s the transcript:

Sabrina Pride, Unknown, N/A
Q: When Fred isn’t wearing glasses, does he wear contacts?

Fred, New York, NY:
A: On SNL for cue cards.


Travis Brown
Blacksburg, Virginia
Q: Also, will there be a tram sketch someday…? That’d be interesting somehow.

Fred, New York, NY
A: I tried to think of one but there wasn’t a way into what it would be. I really want to.


Mallard Jenkins, Bangalore, India
Q: Would it be possible for there to be a sketch where everybody in Portland is wearing Cosby sweaters except for you two?

Fred, New York, NY
A: We would need to get permission,


Ralph D’Iorio, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Q: “Toni and Candace”(sp) is also the couple of Dallas QB Tony Romo and his wife..isnt that hilarious? Cowboys suck.

Fred, New York, NY
A: Really? And…they do?


guest811900, Unknown
Q: If your bookstore characters were to actually go on a date with a man, what would that man say to subdue defensiveness?

Fred, New York, NY
A: Maybe they DO go on dates with guys! We kept their actual gender preference ambiguous


Jen Masi, Unknown, N/A
Q: If a “Portlandia” film was based off of a pair of characters who would star in the film?

Fred, New York, NY
A: I feel like maybe Toni and Candace


guest811671, Unknown
Q: Love your take on human interaction. How big is your staff of writers, or are the sketches a reflection of your lives?

Fred, New York, NY
A: There are like seven or so.


Chachi Guerrero, Unknown
Q: Have you guys ever thought about doing the same thing as the show but for other “Cool” cities in the long run?

Fred, New York, NY
A: It would be fun somehow.


Kelly Collier Andre, Unknown
Q: Will Carrie and you be logging in again this season to chat with the Portmaniacs?

Fred, New York, NY
A: I’d like to. It’s nice to hear what people want to know.


Troy Ramsay, Unknown
Q: Are the Trailblazers going to be on the show?

Fred, New York, NY
A: In a way. You’ll see…


Luckas Arias-Torfs, Boca Raton, Florida
Q: what songs are in the “mix drinks” mixtape?

Fred, New York, NY
A: I have to look that up!


guest810465, Unknown
Q: Did you guys make music together before?

Fred, New York, NY
A: Not before, no.


Mallard Jenkins, Bangalore, India
Q: Will there ever be a sketch in the Oregon Zoo?

Fred, New York, NY
A: Maybe sometime.


Madison Hawley, New Glarus, Wisconsin
Q: What was your favorite new characters in season 2?

Fred, New York, NY
A: Brendan and Michelle. You’ll see who they are.


guest811699, Unknown
Q: This show is hilarious – I’m laughing out loud – is Portland really like this?

Fred, New York, NY
A: Thank you! It’s heightened a bit.


Ralph D’Iorio, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Q: You two are both like my heroes,being rockers and funny people…but what weapon would you choose in a death match again

Fred, New York, NY
A: A typewriter


Brian Fidler, Norwalk, Connecticut
Q: How did you two meet and come up with this awesome show?

Fred, New York, NY
A: We just felt like doing it. And that’s how it turned out.


guest811617, Unknown
Q: Fred, this isn’t a question, but your Bad ass on the Loop Pedal! Twice The Silentsound.. Baltimore Md

Fred, New York, NY
A: I’m still learning! I am addicted to it. I’ll be doing shows in Brooklyn with it in February


Ed Hurtley, Unknown
Q: What has been your favorite Portlandia skit to film? (Whether due to the content, or conditions during filming, etc.)

Fred, New York, NY
A: Feminist Bookstore is always fun.


guest811866, Unknown
Q: Do you see Portlandia as not just a comedy show, but also serving as a statement on our society?

Fred, New York, NY
A: It’s more about how people relate to each other. Sometimes it’s a comedy.


Madison Hawley, New Glarus, Wisconsin
Q: Is the mayor going to release a reggae album anytime soon?

Fred, New York, NY
A: Only on cassette.


Mallard Jenkins, Bangalore, India
Q: After Spyke gets married, is his baby gonna be born with gauges?

Fred, New York, NY
A: Little teeny ones.


Ian Moore, New Paltz (village), New York
Q: How large is your writing staff?

Fred, New York, NY
A: Myself, Carrie, Karey Dornetto and Jon Krisel. And Bill Oakley and Allison Silverman. Doug Lussenhop, one of our editors wrote a piece.


Lilian Oliveira Gifford, Unknown
Q: Do you guys live in Portland?

Fred, New York, NY
A: 😉


guest811554, Unknown
Q: Is Lance’s voice auto-tuned?

Carrie, New York, NY
A: Yep. Did you really think that was my voice?


Luckas Arias-Torfs, Boca Raton, Florida
Q: Since Portlandia has been gaining fame, have you guys been offered to do a Portlandia movie?

Carrie, New York, NY
A: Fingers crossed!


guest811224, Unknown
Q: Did I see Eddie Vedder as a guest on your show?

Fred, New York, NY
A: Yes! How cool is that?! He’s the best.


Blinker Bot, Unknown
Q: Are you afraid of robots?

Carrie, New York, NY
A: Nope. Should I be?


guest811477, Unknown
Q: Carrie, do you ever go to see Fred on SNL?

Carrie, New York, NY
A: When I am in NYC, yes.


Kathy Rodriguez, New York, New York
Q: Why does the sun go round the moon?

Fred, New York, NY
A: I’m glad we have you as a fan.


guest810795, Unknown
Q: What’s the weirdest idea for a sketch you ever came up with, but never got around to doing?

Carrie, New York, NY
A: I feel like all of our ideas are weird.


Laura Hermann, New York, New York
Q: Do you use real locations in Portland for the show?

Fred, New York, NY
A: Yes, totally!


guest809771, Unknown
Q: If you were really hungry and only had a enough money for a hotdog or pretzel. What would be your choice? no toppings

Carrie, New York, NY
A: Pretzel


Amanda Bartram, Unknown
Q: Who has been the most interesting guest star to work with?

Carrie, New York, NY
A: They’re all pretty interesting!


guest809962, Unknown
Q: I would like to see you play each other, any plans to do so?

Fred, New York, NY
A: I’m close to nailing an impression of Carrie.


Charlie Shulman, Linfield, Pennsylvania
Q: What is the most rewarding part of making the show?

Fred, New York, NY
A: Personally, I get to hang out in an awesome city and have fun with my friends. It’s all good!


Kimberly Yee, Unknown
Q: How come Fred plays women so well?

Fred, New York, NY
A: Because I’m sensitive and caring.


Jon Nicholas III, Unknown
Q: When are you all going to have Tim & Eric on the show? It’s gotta happen, right?!

Carrie, New York, NY
A: We would love that. right?


Amanda Bartram, Unknown
Q: What are some of your comedy influences and/or comedy heroes?

Carrie, New York, NY
A: Nichols and May. Gilda Radner. Kids in the Hall. Father Ted. Tina Fey.


guest809691, Unknown
Q: Do you get all of your inspiration from real Portlandians or from a random assortment of hipsters and hippies? Love it!

Fred, New York, NY
A: It comes from all over really. But Portland does have such a unique spirit. Thanks for loving it!


guest810604, Unknown
Q: Would you ever consider taking the show to another city?

Carrie, New York, NY
A: I think it would be fun to do an episode or two in another city. What about San Antonio?


Amanda Bartram, Unknown
Q: Carrie, when are you going to host Saturday Night Live?

Carrie, New York, NY
A: Oh, please. Never!! But I did go to the set today and met Charles Barkley!! He was very cool


Sarah Andre, Ocala, Florida
Q: Fred and Carrie, how have the citizens of Portland, Oregon reacted to the show?

Fred, New York, NY
A: They have been so cool. Really positive. And they let us film anywhere.


Cameron Seth Hilliard, Dallas, Texas
Q: How was “Feel It All Around” chosen for the show’s opening theme?

Carrie, New York, NY
A: That was one of those things wherein it was the placeholder music and we got really, really attached to it.


Sarah Andre, Ocala, Florida
Q: Fred and Carrie, how long does it typically take for you to write a sketch?

Carrie, New York, NY
A: It depends. Some sketches happen very quickly. Others take a little more tweaking and finessing.


guest809630, Unknown
Q: Are the sketches totally improvised, partially improvised or totally scripted?

Fred, New York, NY
A: 70% improvised


Meghan Walter, Unknown
Q: Who (guest star) did you enjoy working with the most on the new season?

Fred, New York, NY
A: Steve Jones from the Sex Pistols


guest809771
Q: Would you rather ride a unicorn through space or teach Shakespeare to underprivileged dinosaurs? You would die either way

Fred, New York, NY
A: Space always.


Want the latest news from the land of Portlandia? Like us on Facebook and follow us on @IFCportlandia and use the hashtag #Portlandia.

“Portlandia” airs on IFC on Fridays at 10/9c

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Forget Oscar

Find Your Spirit Animal

The Spirit Awards are LIVE this Saturday at 2p PT/5p ET.

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In just a few precious days, the greatest, most epic, most star-studded awards ceremony of the year comes to IFC.

And please, we’re definitely not talking about the Oscars. We’re talking about the Spirit Awards. Hosted by iconic comedy duo Nick Kroll and John Mulaney, it’s a relatively under-the-radar awards show with serious cred. And if the past is any indicator, we’re in for a wild night.

If you feel like doing your homework, you can find a full list of nominees and performance excerpts here. It reads like a who’s who of everyone that matters – those larger-than-life personalities with status that borders on mythological. Our celebrity spirit animals, if you will.

This isn’t hyperbole. Literally everyone who takes the stage at the awards show is spirit animal material. Let’s see if we can help you find yours…

Do you

Live in someone else’s shadow despite shining like the sun? Do you inexplicably vandalize your pretty-boy good looks with a sloppy-joe man bun and a repellent pubic-hair beard? Do you think sounding stoned and sounding thoughtful are kinda the same thing?

Congratulations, your spirit animal is Casey Affleck.

He’s the self-canonized patron saint of anyone who’s got the goods but doesn’t give a damn.

Do you

Have mid-length hair and exude a certain feminine masculinity that is universally appealing? Are you drawn to situations that promise little to nothing in the way of grooming or hygiene as a transparently self-conscious attempt to conceal your radiant inner glow? Does that fail miserably?

Way to go, your spirit animal is Viggo Mortensen.

He’s the yoga teacher of actors, in that what should make him super nasty only increases his curb appeal.

Do you

Get zero recognition for work that everyone knows is unrivaled? Do you inspire greatness in others yet get shortchanged when it comes to your own acclaim? Are you a goddam B-52 bomber in an industry of biplanes?

Bingo, your spirit animal is Annette Bening.

What does it take for this artist to win an Oscar? Honestly now, if her performance in 20th Century Women doesn’t earn her every award on the planet, consider it proof that the Universe truly is a cold dark void absent of reason or compassion.

Do you

Walk into a room full of strangers and walk out with a room full of friends? Have you been hiding under the radar just waiting for the right moment to leap out into the spotlight and stay there FOREVER? Do you possess the almost messianic ability to elevate Shia LaBeouf’s on-screen charisma?

You guessed it (or not), your spirit animal is 100% Sasha Lane.

If you haven’t seen American Honey, then you haven’t heard of her. She came out of the blue with a performance both subtle and powerful, and now she’s going to be in all the movies from this moment on. Or she should be, at any rate.

Don’t see your spirit animal there? Worry not. There are many more nominees to choose from, and you can see them all (yes, including Shia LaBeouf) during the Independent Spirit Awards, this Saturday at 2pm PT/5pm ET only on IFC.

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Car Notes

Portlandia Keeps Road Rage In Park

Get a lesson in parking etiquette on a new Portlandia.

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It’s the most American form of cause and effect: Park like a monster, receive a passive-aggressive note.

car notes note

This unofficial rule of the road is critical to keeping the great big wheel of car-related Karma in balance. And naturally, Portlandia’s Kath and Dave have elevated it to an awkward, awkward art form in Car Notes, the Portlandia web series presented by Subaru.

If you’ve somehow missed the memo about Car Notes until now, you can catch up on every installment online, on the IFC app, and on demand. You can even have a little taste right here:

If your interest is piqued – great news for you! A special Car Notes sketch makes an appearance in the latest episode of Portlandia, and you can catch up on it now right here.

Watch all-new Portlandia Thursdays at 10P on IFC.

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Naked and Hungry

Two New Ways to Threeway

IFC's Comedy Crib gets sensual in time for Valentine's Day.

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This week, two scandalous new digital series debut on IFC’s Comedy Crib.
Ménage à Trois invites people to participate in a real-life couple’s fantasy boudoir. And The Filling is Mutual follows two saucy chefs who invite comedians to make food inspired by their routines. Each show crosses some major boundaries in sexy and/or delicious ways, and each are impossible to describe in detail without arousing some awkward physical cravings. Which is why it’s best to hear it directly from the minds behind the madness…

Ménage à Trois

According to Diana Kolsky and Murf Meyer, the two extremely versatile constants in the ever-shifting à trois, “MàT is a sensually psychedelic late night variety show exploring matters of hearts, parts and every goddamn thing in between…PS, any nudes will be 100% tasteful.”

This sexy brainchild includes sketches, music, and props that would put Pee-wee’s Playhouse to shame. But how could this fantastical new twist on the vanilla-sex variety show format have come to be?

“We met in a UCB improv class taught by Chris Gethard. It was clear that we both humped to the beat of our own drum; our souls and tongues intermingled at the bar after class, so we dove in head first.”

Sign me up, but promise to go slow. This tricycle is going to need training wheels.

The Filling is Mutual

Comedians Jen Saunderson and Jenny Zigrino became best friends after meeting in the restroom at the Gotham Comedy Club, which explains their super-comfortable dynamic when cooking with their favorite comedians. “We talk about comedy, sex, menses, the obnoxiousness of Christina Aguilera all while eating food that most would push off their New Year’s resolution.”

The hook of cooking food based off of comedy routines is so perfect and so personal. It made us wonder about what dishes Jen & Jenny would pair with some big name comedy staples, like…

Bill Murray?
“Oh, that’s easy Meatballs with Lingonberry Space Jam it’d be great, but then we’d have to Oh, that’s easy Meatballs with Lingonberry Space Jam it’d be great, but then we’d have to… Oh, that’s easy Meatballs with Lingonberry Space Jam it’d be great, but then we’d have to avoid doing any kind of silly Groundhog Day reference.” 

Bridget Everett?
“Cream Balls… Sea Salt encrusted Chocolate Ganache Covered Ice Cream Ball that melt cream when you bite into them.” 

Nick Kroll & John Mulaney? 
“I’d make George and Gil black and white cookies from scratch and just as we open the oven to put the cookie in we’d prank ’em with an obnoxious amount of tuna!!!”

Carrie Brownstein & Fred Armisen? 
“Definitely a raw cacao “safe word” brownie. Cacao!”

Just perfect.

See both new series in their entirety on IFC’s Comedy Crib.

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