DID YOU READ

Live Chat with Fred and Carrie: The Transcript

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While the second season of “Portlandia” aired on IFC, the show’s stars and creators, Fred Armisen and Carrie Brownstein live chatted with fans online. In case you missed it, here’s the transcript:

Sabrina Pride, Unknown, N/A
Q: When Fred isn’t wearing glasses, does he wear contacts?

Fred, New York, NY:
A: On SNL for cue cards.


Travis Brown
Blacksburg, Virginia
Q: Also, will there be a tram sketch someday…? That’d be interesting somehow.

Fred, New York, NY
A: I tried to think of one but there wasn’t a way into what it would be. I really want to.


Mallard Jenkins, Bangalore, India
Q: Would it be possible for there to be a sketch where everybody in Portland is wearing Cosby sweaters except for you two?

Fred, New York, NY
A: We would need to get permission,


Ralph D’Iorio, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Q: “Toni and Candace”(sp) is also the couple of Dallas QB Tony Romo and his wife..isnt that hilarious? Cowboys suck.

Fred, New York, NY
A: Really? And…they do?


guest811900, Unknown
Q: If your bookstore characters were to actually go on a date with a man, what would that man say to subdue defensiveness?

Fred, New York, NY
A: Maybe they DO go on dates with guys! We kept their actual gender preference ambiguous


Jen Masi, Unknown, N/A
Q: If a “Portlandia” film was based off of a pair of characters who would star in the film?

Fred, New York, NY
A: I feel like maybe Toni and Candace


guest811671, Unknown
Q: Love your take on human interaction. How big is your staff of writers, or are the sketches a reflection of your lives?

Fred, New York, NY
A: There are like seven or so.


Chachi Guerrero, Unknown
Q: Have you guys ever thought about doing the same thing as the show but for other “Cool” cities in the long run?

Fred, New York, NY
A: It would be fun somehow.


Kelly Collier Andre, Unknown
Q: Will Carrie and you be logging in again this season to chat with the Portmaniacs?

Fred, New York, NY
A: I’d like to. It’s nice to hear what people want to know.


Troy Ramsay, Unknown
Q: Are the Trailblazers going to be on the show?

Fred, New York, NY
A: In a way. You’ll see…


Luckas Arias-Torfs, Boca Raton, Florida
Q: what songs are in the “mix drinks” mixtape?

Fred, New York, NY
A: I have to look that up!


guest810465, Unknown
Q: Did you guys make music together before?

Fred, New York, NY
A: Not before, no.


Mallard Jenkins, Bangalore, India
Q: Will there ever be a sketch in the Oregon Zoo?

Fred, New York, NY
A: Maybe sometime.


Madison Hawley, New Glarus, Wisconsin
Q: What was your favorite new characters in season 2?

Fred, New York, NY
A: Brendan and Michelle. You’ll see who they are.


guest811699, Unknown
Q: This show is hilarious – I’m laughing out loud – is Portland really like this?

Fred, New York, NY
A: Thank you! It’s heightened a bit.


Ralph D’Iorio, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Q: You two are both like my heroes,being rockers and funny people…but what weapon would you choose in a death match again

Fred, New York, NY
A: A typewriter


Brian Fidler, Norwalk, Connecticut
Q: How did you two meet and come up with this awesome show?

Fred, New York, NY
A: We just felt like doing it. And that’s how it turned out.


guest811617, Unknown
Q: Fred, this isn’t a question, but your Bad ass on the Loop Pedal! Twice The Silentsound.. Baltimore Md

Fred, New York, NY
A: I’m still learning! I am addicted to it. I’ll be doing shows in Brooklyn with it in February


Ed Hurtley, Unknown
Q: What has been your favorite Portlandia skit to film? (Whether due to the content, or conditions during filming, etc.)

Fred, New York, NY
A: Feminist Bookstore is always fun.


guest811866, Unknown
Q: Do you see Portlandia as not just a comedy show, but also serving as a statement on our society?

Fred, New York, NY
A: It’s more about how people relate to each other. Sometimes it’s a comedy.


Madison Hawley, New Glarus, Wisconsin
Q: Is the mayor going to release a reggae album anytime soon?

Fred, New York, NY
A: Only on cassette.


Mallard Jenkins, Bangalore, India
Q: After Spyke gets married, is his baby gonna be born with gauges?

Fred, New York, NY
A: Little teeny ones.


Ian Moore, New Paltz (village), New York
Q: How large is your writing staff?

Fred, New York, NY
A: Myself, Carrie, Karey Dornetto and Jon Krisel. And Bill Oakley and Allison Silverman. Doug Lussenhop, one of our editors wrote a piece.


Lilian Oliveira Gifford, Unknown
Q: Do you guys live in Portland?

Fred, New York, NY
A: 😉


guest811554, Unknown
Q: Is Lance’s voice auto-tuned?

Carrie, New York, NY
A: Yep. Did you really think that was my voice?


Luckas Arias-Torfs, Boca Raton, Florida
Q: Since Portlandia has been gaining fame, have you guys been offered to do a Portlandia movie?

Carrie, New York, NY
A: Fingers crossed!


guest811224, Unknown
Q: Did I see Eddie Vedder as a guest on your show?

Fred, New York, NY
A: Yes! How cool is that?! He’s the best.


Blinker Bot, Unknown
Q: Are you afraid of robots?

Carrie, New York, NY
A: Nope. Should I be?


guest811477, Unknown
Q: Carrie, do you ever go to see Fred on SNL?

Carrie, New York, NY
A: When I am in NYC, yes.


Kathy Rodriguez, New York, New York
Q: Why does the sun go round the moon?

Fred, New York, NY
A: I’m glad we have you as a fan.


guest810795, Unknown
Q: What’s the weirdest idea for a sketch you ever came up with, but never got around to doing?

Carrie, New York, NY
A: I feel like all of our ideas are weird.


Laura Hermann, New York, New York
Q: Do you use real locations in Portland for the show?

Fred, New York, NY
A: Yes, totally!


guest809771, Unknown
Q: If you were really hungry and only had a enough money for a hotdog or pretzel. What would be your choice? no toppings

Carrie, New York, NY
A: Pretzel


Amanda Bartram, Unknown
Q: Who has been the most interesting guest star to work with?

Carrie, New York, NY
A: They’re all pretty interesting!


guest809962, Unknown
Q: I would like to see you play each other, any plans to do so?

Fred, New York, NY
A: I’m close to nailing an impression of Carrie.


Charlie Shulman, Linfield, Pennsylvania
Q: What is the most rewarding part of making the show?

Fred, New York, NY
A: Personally, I get to hang out in an awesome city and have fun with my friends. It’s all good!


Kimberly Yee, Unknown
Q: How come Fred plays women so well?

Fred, New York, NY
A: Because I’m sensitive and caring.


Jon Nicholas III, Unknown
Q: When are you all going to have Tim & Eric on the show? It’s gotta happen, right?!

Carrie, New York, NY
A: We would love that. right?


Amanda Bartram, Unknown
Q: What are some of your comedy influences and/or comedy heroes?

Carrie, New York, NY
A: Nichols and May. Gilda Radner. Kids in the Hall. Father Ted. Tina Fey.


guest809691, Unknown
Q: Do you get all of your inspiration from real Portlandians or from a random assortment of hipsters and hippies? Love it!

Fred, New York, NY
A: It comes from all over really. But Portland does have such a unique spirit. Thanks for loving it!


guest810604, Unknown
Q: Would you ever consider taking the show to another city?

Carrie, New York, NY
A: I think it would be fun to do an episode or two in another city. What about San Antonio?


Amanda Bartram, Unknown
Q: Carrie, when are you going to host Saturday Night Live?

Carrie, New York, NY
A: Oh, please. Never!! But I did go to the set today and met Charles Barkley!! He was very cool


Sarah Andre, Ocala, Florida
Q: Fred and Carrie, how have the citizens of Portland, Oregon reacted to the show?

Fred, New York, NY
A: They have been so cool. Really positive. And they let us film anywhere.


Cameron Seth Hilliard, Dallas, Texas
Q: How was “Feel It All Around” chosen for the show’s opening theme?

Carrie, New York, NY
A: That was one of those things wherein it was the placeholder music and we got really, really attached to it.


Sarah Andre, Ocala, Florida
Q: Fred and Carrie, how long does it typically take for you to write a sketch?

Carrie, New York, NY
A: It depends. Some sketches happen very quickly. Others take a little more tweaking and finessing.


guest809630, Unknown
Q: Are the sketches totally improvised, partially improvised or totally scripted?

Fred, New York, NY
A: 70% improvised


Meghan Walter, Unknown
Q: Who (guest star) did you enjoy working with the most on the new season?

Fred, New York, NY
A: Steve Jones from the Sex Pistols


guest809771
Q: Would you rather ride a unicorn through space or teach Shakespeare to underprivileged dinosaurs? You would die either way

Fred, New York, NY
A: Space always.


Want the latest news from the land of Portlandia? Like us on Facebook and follow us on @IFCportlandia and use the hashtag #Portlandia.

“Portlandia” airs on IFC on Fridays at 10/9c

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The cast of Saturday Night Live has produced an uncountable number of legendary characters, from Roseanne Rosannadanna to Wayne and Garth. But despite 40 years of sketch comedy history, there were still opportunities for cast members to find themselves creating new bits on the set of Comedy Bang! Bang!These are some of the best characters to come out of 30 Rockefeller Center.

8. Kate McKinnon, professional upstairs neighbor

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7. Will Forte wants your vote for U.S. Senate

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Will Forte is a member of the Comedy Bang! Bang! two-timers club. After his first appearance on the pilot episode as a pilot (right?!), he returned for his second time to rock the vote as an overly honest politician. Drugs, strange fetishes, and a patsy for lobbyists; he would probably fit right in this election season. He taught everyone how extremely valuable it is to vote, so that candidates like him will never get elected.


6. Andy Samberg plays himself

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5. Paul Brittain and Taran Killam are the Calvins Twins

Paul and Taran

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4. Maya Rudolph represents for the ladies

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3. Fred Armisen in the Late Night wars

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Horatio Sanz

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1. Bobby Moynihan is cute (and stabby) orphan boy Fourvel

Bobby M

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5. “I mentioned that like me and all lesbians everywhere, Jay loves denim.”

Jay Leno
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4. “Sir, there is no chance that you are less into me than I am into you.”


3. Failure Is Just Practice For Success.

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2. Guns Don’t Kill People. Knives Do.

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1. The Most Epic Period Joke Ever Told.



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Many of Lapkus’ characters have grown out of podcasts (CB!B!, With Special Guest) resulting in only a few making the leap to television. To continue our celebration of CB!B!‘s 100th episode, we’ve made a list of the top 5 Lauren Lapkus characters lucky enough to exist in a visual medium.

1. Harmony Moonglass

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Harmony Moonglass entered our lives alongside Thomas Middleditch (Silicon Valley) on the Comedy Bang! Bang! couch where she lead Scott, Thomas, and Reggie through a guided meditation session. They pictured tranquil trees, cuddly squirrels, and the near reconciliation of a long lost love. Unfortunately, Scott couldn’t take the talk out of his talk show and kept ruining everyone’s meditative high. Middleditch and Lapkus later partnered again on the CB!B! podcast to create new fan favorite characters, the kid detectives.


2. Big Sue

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The Comedy Bang! Bang! set is no stranger to entrepreneurial guests. Lots of business owners have graced Scott Aukerman’s talk show looking to receive the patented CB!B! bump. Big Sue came to the show in an entrepreneurial class of her own, with her business “Carpets and Rugs, Down There.” Due to a pizza-fueled incident, her entire inventory is full of soaking wet carpets and rugs. She’s still looking to sell her first carpet if you’re in the market.


3. Sarah from Date-zaster

DateZaster
Not every CB!B! character gets the privilege of sitting on the couch to receive one of Scott Aukerman’s famous interview questions. For those without couch privileges, the second best thing is to be in one of Scott’s new television or movie projects. In his new prank show, Date-zaster, Lapkus plays the role of an actress playing the role of a Date-zaster victim. It’s a small, but complex role that Lapkus plays with nuance and grace.


4. Todd

Todd
While Todd certainly exists in the CB!B! universe, as Scott’s live-in nephew, he has yet to appear on the TV show. Despite his absence on CB!B!, he did appear onscreen in Lapkus’ episode of the aptly named Netflix show, The Characters. Like any kid whose age is “middle school,” two of Todd’s favorite things are cursing and his mom. Since Todd now has a taste for show business, here’s hoping he’s up for a future episode of Comedy Bang! Bang!.


5. Whitney Peeps

Whitney Peeps

We were introduced to Lapkus’ Whitney Peeps in a CB!B! episode that also features Kevin Smith and a donkey pretending to be Stevie Wonder. Overcoming the star power of those two, Lapkus shines through as an international philanthropist who will only give back to the community if she wins a contest, gets paid, or is somehow rewarded in any manner. As Smith points out, it’s very self-serving, but Whitney Peeps isn’t someone who would let something like that slow her down.

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