DID YOU READ

Live Chat with Fred and Carrie: The Transcript

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While the second season of “Portlandia” aired on IFC, the show’s stars and creators, Fred Armisen and Carrie Brownstein live chatted with fans online. In case you missed it, here’s the transcript:

Sabrina Pride, Unknown, N/A
Q: When Fred isn’t wearing glasses, does he wear contacts?

Fred, New York, NY:
A: On SNL for cue cards.


Travis Brown
Blacksburg, Virginia
Q: Also, will there be a tram sketch someday…? That’d be interesting somehow.

Fred, New York, NY
A: I tried to think of one but there wasn’t a way into what it would be. I really want to.


Mallard Jenkins, Bangalore, India
Q: Would it be possible for there to be a sketch where everybody in Portland is wearing Cosby sweaters except for you two?

Fred, New York, NY
A: We would need to get permission,


Ralph D’Iorio, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Q: “Toni and Candace”(sp) is also the couple of Dallas QB Tony Romo and his wife..isnt that hilarious? Cowboys suck.

Fred, New York, NY
A: Really? And…they do?


guest811900, Unknown
Q: If your bookstore characters were to actually go on a date with a man, what would that man say to subdue defensiveness?

Fred, New York, NY
A: Maybe they DO go on dates with guys! We kept their actual gender preference ambiguous


Jen Masi, Unknown, N/A
Q: If a “Portlandia” film was based off of a pair of characters who would star in the film?

Fred, New York, NY
A: I feel like maybe Toni and Candace


guest811671, Unknown
Q: Love your take on human interaction. How big is your staff of writers, or are the sketches a reflection of your lives?

Fred, New York, NY
A: There are like seven or so.


Chachi Guerrero, Unknown
Q: Have you guys ever thought about doing the same thing as the show but for other “Cool” cities in the long run?

Fred, New York, NY
A: It would be fun somehow.


Kelly Collier Andre, Unknown
Q: Will Carrie and you be logging in again this season to chat with the Portmaniacs?

Fred, New York, NY
A: I’d like to. It’s nice to hear what people want to know.


Troy Ramsay, Unknown
Q: Are the Trailblazers going to be on the show?

Fred, New York, NY
A: In a way. You’ll see…


Luckas Arias-Torfs, Boca Raton, Florida
Q: what songs are in the “mix drinks” mixtape?

Fred, New York, NY
A: I have to look that up!


guest810465, Unknown
Q: Did you guys make music together before?

Fred, New York, NY
A: Not before, no.


Mallard Jenkins, Bangalore, India
Q: Will there ever be a sketch in the Oregon Zoo?

Fred, New York, NY
A: Maybe sometime.


Madison Hawley, New Glarus, Wisconsin
Q: What was your favorite new characters in season 2?

Fred, New York, NY
A: Brendan and Michelle. You’ll see who they are.


guest811699, Unknown
Q: This show is hilarious – I’m laughing out loud – is Portland really like this?

Fred, New York, NY
A: Thank you! It’s heightened a bit.


Ralph D’Iorio, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Q: You two are both like my heroes,being rockers and funny people…but what weapon would you choose in a death match again

Fred, New York, NY
A: A typewriter


Brian Fidler, Norwalk, Connecticut
Q: How did you two meet and come up with this awesome show?

Fred, New York, NY
A: We just felt like doing it. And that’s how it turned out.


guest811617, Unknown
Q: Fred, this isn’t a question, but your Bad ass on the Loop Pedal! Twice The Silentsound.. Baltimore Md

Fred, New York, NY
A: I’m still learning! I am addicted to it. I’ll be doing shows in Brooklyn with it in February


Ed Hurtley, Unknown
Q: What has been your favorite Portlandia skit to film? (Whether due to the content, or conditions during filming, etc.)

Fred, New York, NY
A: Feminist Bookstore is always fun.


guest811866, Unknown
Q: Do you see Portlandia as not just a comedy show, but also serving as a statement on our society?

Fred, New York, NY
A: It’s more about how people relate to each other. Sometimes it’s a comedy.


Madison Hawley, New Glarus, Wisconsin
Q: Is the mayor going to release a reggae album anytime soon?

Fred, New York, NY
A: Only on cassette.


Mallard Jenkins, Bangalore, India
Q: After Spyke gets married, is his baby gonna be born with gauges?

Fred, New York, NY
A: Little teeny ones.


Ian Moore, New Paltz (village), New York
Q: How large is your writing staff?

Fred, New York, NY
A: Myself, Carrie, Karey Dornetto and Jon Krisel. And Bill Oakley and Allison Silverman. Doug Lussenhop, one of our editors wrote a piece.


Lilian Oliveira Gifford, Unknown
Q: Do you guys live in Portland?

Fred, New York, NY
A: ūüėČ


guest811554, Unknown
Q: Is Lance’s voice auto-tuned?

Carrie, New York, NY
A: Yep. Did you really think that was my voice?


Luckas Arias-Torfs, Boca Raton, Florida
Q: Since Portlandia has been gaining fame, have you guys been offered to do a Portlandia movie?

Carrie, New York, NY
A: Fingers crossed!


guest811224, Unknown
Q: Did I see Eddie Vedder as a guest on your show?

Fred, New York, NY
A: Yes! How cool is that?! He’s the best.


Blinker Bot, Unknown
Q: Are you afraid of robots?

Carrie, New York, NY
A: Nope. Should I be?


guest811477, Unknown
Q: Carrie, do you ever go to see Fred on SNL?

Carrie, New York, NY
A: When I am in NYC, yes.


Kathy Rodriguez, New York, New York
Q: Why does the sun go round the moon?

Fred, New York, NY
A: I’m glad we have you as a fan.


guest810795, Unknown
Q: What’s the weirdest idea for a sketch you ever came up with, but never got around to doing?

Carrie, New York, NY
A: I feel like all of our ideas are weird.


Laura Hermann, New York, New York
Q: Do you use real locations in Portland for the show?

Fred, New York, NY
A: Yes, totally!


guest809771, Unknown
Q: If you were really hungry and only had a enough money for a hotdog or pretzel. What would be your choice? no toppings

Carrie, New York, NY
A: Pretzel


Amanda Bartram, Unknown
Q: Who has been the most interesting guest star to work with?

Carrie, New York, NY
A: They’re all pretty interesting!


guest809962, Unknown
Q: I would like to see you play each other, any plans to do so?

Fred, New York, NY
A: I’m close to nailing an impression of Carrie.


Charlie Shulman, Linfield, Pennsylvania
Q: What is the most rewarding part of making the show?

Fred, New York, NY
A: Personally, I get to hang out in an awesome city and have fun with my friends. It’s all good!


Kimberly Yee, Unknown
Q: How come Fred plays women so well?

Fred, New York, NY
A: Because I’m sensitive and caring.


Jon Nicholas III, Unknown
Q: When are you all going to have Tim & Eric on the show? It’s gotta happen, right?!

Carrie, New York, NY
A: We would love that. right?


Amanda Bartram, Unknown
Q: What are some of your comedy influences and/or comedy heroes?

Carrie, New York, NY
A: Nichols and May. Gilda Radner. Kids in the Hall. Father Ted. Tina Fey.


guest809691, Unknown
Q: Do you get all of your inspiration from real Portlandians or from a random assortment of hipsters and hippies? Love it!

Fred, New York, NY
A: It comes from all over really. But Portland does have such a unique spirit. Thanks for loving it!


guest810604, Unknown
Q: Would you ever consider taking the show to another city?

Carrie, New York, NY
A: I think it would be fun to do an episode or two in another city. What about San Antonio?


Amanda Bartram, Unknown
Q: Carrie, when are you going to host Saturday Night Live?

Carrie, New York, NY
A: Oh, please. Never!! But I did go to the set today and met Charles Barkley!! He was very cool


Sarah Andre, Ocala, Florida
Q: Fred and Carrie, how have the citizens of Portland, Oregon reacted to the show?

Fred, New York, NY
A: They have been so cool. Really positive. And they let us film anywhere.


Cameron Seth Hilliard, Dallas, Texas
Q: How was “Feel It All Around” chosen for the show’s opening theme?

Carrie, New York, NY
A: That was one of those things wherein it was the placeholder music and we got really, really attached to it.


Sarah Andre, Ocala, Florida
Q: Fred and Carrie, how long does it typically take for you to write a sketch?

Carrie, New York, NY
A: It depends. Some sketches happen very quickly. Others take a little more tweaking and finessing.


guest809630, Unknown
Q: Are the sketches totally improvised, partially improvised or totally scripted?

Fred, New York, NY
A: 70% improvised


Meghan Walter, Unknown
Q: Who (guest star) did you enjoy working with the most on the new season?

Fred, New York, NY
A: Steve Jones from the Sex Pistols


guest809771
Q: Would you rather ride a unicorn through space or teach Shakespeare to underprivileged dinosaurs? You would die either way

Fred, New York, NY
A: Space always.


Want the latest news from the land of Portlandia? Like us on Facebook and follow us on @IFCportlandia and use the hashtag #Portlandia.

“Portlandia” airs on IFC on Fridays at 10/9c

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Rocky IV Paulie Robot

Mr. Roboto

5 Reasons Rocky IV Is Too Rotten to Miss

Catch Rocky IV Friday at 8P during IFC's Rotten Fridays.

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Photo Credit: MGM/UA/YouTube

When Rocky IV was released in 1985, the critics were not kind. (While it wasn’t around back then, the film’s 39% ranking on Rotten Tomatoes speaks for itself.) Less of a movie than a¬†jingoistic music video starring a robot and a steroid-addled, monosyllabic Russian baddie, Rocky IV is a far cry from the Italian Stallion’s humble origins.

Still, more than any movie ever made, it exemplifies¬†the whole “so bad its good” genre. This movie was made for us, the great-unwashed masses of the 1980s, who loved the band¬†Survivor¬†and hated those Commie bastards. Before you catch Rocky IV on IFC’s Rotten Fridays, let’s take a look at some moments that make this flick a “too rotten to miss” classic.

5. That Opening Shot

Rocky IV
United Artists

It takes all of 30 seconds for the audience to know they’re in for one ridiculous rollercoaster ride through a¬†Cold War conniption fit of good vs. evil. Gone is the subtle tone and grounded reality of the first Rocky. In its place we see two gloves, one emblazoned with the American flag, the other with the Soviets’, hurtling toward each other. When they collide, sparks fly, and we witness an explosion decades in the making.

In case the symbolism is too subtle for you, director/writer/star Sylvester Stallone is trying to hint that this movie will be the clash of civilizations we’d all been waiting for, but instead of nuclear bombs, a humble palooka from the streets would be duking it out in the ring with the ultimate representation of coldhearted Communism. If it were up to us, this opening shot would’ve won Best Picture all by itself.


4. So Many Montages

Rocky IV has a running time of¬†91 minutes and 20 seconds. Its eight montages (yes, EIGHT) run a total of¬†29 minutes and 10 seconds. That is one third of the movie solely dedicated to montages. (Considering Stallone’s contempt for all things Soviet, we have to wonder if he knows it was a dirty¬†Ruskie¬†who invented the montage.)

During one of the many, many montages, director Stallone actually flashes back to a scene that had happened a minute and half prior, creating the impression that he might actually flashback to the montage we were just watching in the same montage. Stallone clearly loves a good montage set to an inspirational ’80s song, and so do we. Which brings us to…


3. A Soundtrack Full of Pumped Up ’80s Jams

Speaking of montages, they are set to the score of some of the cheesiest hits from the mid-’80s. For once, we’re spared tracks from Frank Stallone, with Stallone replacing his rocker brother with synth-y singles from Survivor, John Cafferty and Kenny Loggins. And of course, Robert Tepper, possessor of an ’80s mullet that could topple empires, crooning “No Easy Way Out.” The music in this movie is one step away from being a parody of the music in this movie. If you ever want to know what cocaine can do to the human mind, just listen to this soundtrack.


2. Rocky Ends the Cold War

Rocky IV speech
United Artists

In one of the most misguided, self-congratulatory, and immediately dated moments in cinema history, good ol’ galoot Rocky Balboa single-handedly ended the Cold War four years before the Berlin Wall came down.

To quote the Italian Stallion himself: “In here…there were two guys… killing each other. But I guess that’s better than millions. What I’m trying to say is… if I can change… and you can change…everybody can change!” And just like that the Soviet public, generals and even the Premier himself rose to their feet in applause, realizing what fools they’d been. This guy beat Mr. T for Heaven’s sake. He knows what he’s talking about!


1. Paulie’s Robot

Okay, let’s all take a deep breath and really consider this for a moment. Rocky IV has a robot butler in it. A movie franchise that began back in 1976 exploring the gritty reality of a bum fighter trying to prove himself somehow limped along long enough to turn into a weak Short Circuit rip-off¬†in which an alcoholic mooch with a history of domestic abuse now gets his coffee served to him by a robot. A robot that he has programmed with a “sultry” lady voice!

Stallone was inspired to include the real life robot Sico in Rocky IV¬†because of the work it did to help autistic children like his son Seargeoh. That’s all very moving, but doesn’t explain why he decided to write a scene where Paulie dubs poor Sico “the love of my life.” It’s a testament to Rocky IV‘s “too rotten to miss” status that Paulie’s robot girlfriend/personal servant isn’t even the craziest thing that happens to Rock and the gang.

Catch the “Too Rotten to Miss” movie Rocky IV this Friday at 8P on IFC.¬†

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Swimming To Cambodia Spalding Gray

Gray's Anatomy

Everything You Need to Know About the Movie That Inspired “Parker Gail’s Location is Everything”

Brand new Documentary Now! airs Wednesday at 10P on IFC.

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Photo Credit: Cinecom Pictures

This week Documentary Now!¬†spotlights a master monologist with “Parker Gail’s Location is Everything.” Before you tune in at 10P this Wednesday on IFC, check out our guide to¬†Swimming to Cambodia, the 1987 film¬†that captured writer/performer Spalding Gray’s acclaimed one-person show.

Spalding Gray 101

Swimming to Cambodia
Cinecom Pictures

Actor and¬†renowned monologist Spalding Gray spent two years on stage¬†perfecting his Obie Award-winning “Swimming to Cambodia” monologue. In it, Gray tells the story of his eight weeks in Southeast Asia while shooting¬†the 1984 Academy Award-winning movie The Killing Fields.¬†He¬†had a small role, but the experience gave him several anecdotes about hanging out with the film crew and experiencing the local culture, all while searching for “the perfect moment.”

Directed by the Silence of the Lambs Guy

Hannibal Lecter
Orion Pictures/Everett Collection

Acclaimed filmmaker Jonathan Demme took Gray’s two-night, four hour performance and¬†crafted it¬†down to 85 minutes. His¬†use of dramatic lighting, stylish camerawork and a score by performance artist Laurie Anderson was praised by critics and earned the film a cult following. No stranger to groundbreaking docs, Demme also directed the 1984 Talking Heads concert film¬†Stop Making Sense, which Documentary Now! pays tribute to in this season’s episode “Final Transmission.”

All about the Voices

While it may have been a one-man show, Gray created a repertoire of characters all with distinctive accents. (He portrayed conversations between himself and others just by turning his head.) Our favorite impressions are of his demanding girlfriend Renee and Ivan Strasberg, the South African director of photography on The Killing Fields who, as depicted by Gray, sounds a bit like a Jamaican surfer.

The Original Cranky New Yorker

In one memorable scene, Gray rants about how his noisy upstairs artist neighbors are driving him and Renee crazy. Even in the mid-’80s, there were New Yorkers complaining that the city wasn’t what it used to be.

Show and Tell

Swimming to Cambodia
Cinecom Pictures/YouTube

A big fan of visual aids, Gray used pull-down maps to¬†illustrate his travels. This helped to bring¬†Swimming to Cambodia to life, since he’s basically sitting at a desk the entire time.

Inspired One-Person Shows

Gray’s¬†groundbreaking¬†performances in Swimming and other documentaries like Monster in a Box¬†and the Steven Soderbergh-directed Gray’s Anatomy (about Gray’s struggle with a rare eye condition) paved the way for future one-person shows. (We wouldn’t have everything from Carrie Fisher’s “Wishful Drinking” to Mike Birbiglia’s “Sleepwalk With Me” without him.) Even¬†Doc Now! star Fred Armisen got into the one-person show act for his¬†recent SNL monologue.

Catch Documentary Now!’s tribute to Spalding Gray when “Parker Gail: Location Is Everything” premieres Wednesday, September 28th at 10P on IFC.¬†

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Rocky IV Stallone Lundgren

Burning Heart

10 Reasons Why Rocky IV Is the Ultimate Rocky Movie

Catch an all-day Rocky movie marathon this Friday, September 30th on IFC.

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Photo Credit: United Artists/Everett Collection

Sure, most people love the first Rocky for its heart, gripping boxing scenes and the classic training montage. Or, you might love Creed for being both a return-to-form and a new exploration of the Rocky mythology. Maybe the thrill of seeing Mr. T and Hulk Hogan in the same movie makes Rocky III your top pick. Well, sorry, you’re wrong:¬†Rocky IV is the greatest of all the “Italian Stallion”‘s movies.

Before you watch the all-day Rocky movie marathon this Friday, September 30th on IFC (with Rocky IV airing at 8P as part of Rotten Fridays), check out a few reasons to appreciate the fourth installment as the king of the series.

1. The Greatest Opening Ever

How many openings are able to sum up the entire conflict of the film in less than a minute and without a single line of dialogue? And how many of those movies have exploding boxing gloves? Just try to watch the opening sequence above and not be completely psyched for the pumped-up flick to come.


2. Montages!

We all know that the best part of any sports movie is the montage, and Rocky IV doesn’t give you one measly montage. There’s a recap of the previous films montage, a getting to Russia Montage, two training montages and an ending fight montage. That’s five montages! There’s probably a montage of montages snuck in there, too.


3. There’s a Full James Brown Musical Number

This movie is so packed with memorable moments, it’s easy to forget one of the first things that happens in the film: Apollo comes out to fight Drago dressed as a shirtless Uncle Sam, while James Brown and a full band play “Living in America.” To drive home the number’s patriotism, there are dancers in tuxedos and top hats, weird unitards and bowler caps, and bedazzled showgirls with headpieces for miles. Oh, and don’t forget the giant tentacled dragon statue on the stage. This is how every boxing match should start. Heck, this is how we always want to enter a room.


4. The Soundtrack

The Rocky IV soundtrack doesn’t just feature James Brown — it has rock anthems galore, all of which make you immediately want to hit the gym. From “Heart’s on Fire” by John Cafferty and the Beaver Brown Band to “Sweetest Victory” by Touch to multiple Survivor jams, you’ll get pumped and stay pumped. Even the instrumental score rocks! Sure, sometimes it sounds like it was made on a kids Casio, but this soundtrack never quits and — to quote Robert Tepper — never takes the easy way out.


5. Abs!

Rocky IV weights

Every Rocky movie shows off Stallone’s incredible physique, but Rocky IV really ups the game. Not only do we get Dolph Lundgren mostly shirtless looking like a man machine, but we get a wide variety of scenes of Stallone doing impossible tasks. Stallone’s crazy dragon fly crunches, aka a thing no human should be able to do, automatically take this movie to the top.


6. Two words: Ivan Drago

Ivan Drago
United Artists

Not only does Rocky IV explore the global conflict between the US and the Soviet Union, but it encapsulates all of our fears of the Cold War in one perfect villain. Ivan Drago only trains with machines and science and looks like he stepped out of an Aryan Nations recruitment poster. He also only responds in short, cold phrases like “If he dies, he dies,” or “I must break you.” There’s never been a villain who we so clearly want to get the crap beat out of than Ivan Drago.


7. Rocky Makes Chores Look Badass

Rocky saw
United Artists

Rocky doesn’t need to be hooked up to machines to become the perfect fighter. All he needs are huge tires and some outdoor chores to do. No one’s ever looked cooler chopping wood and using tractor parts. Half of his training is lifting an old wagon, probably to fix a broken axle. If anything, this film inspires us to take care of that gardening work we’ve been neglecting.


8. Rocky’s Beard

Rocky IV Beard

Stallone’s beard game is truly on point in Rocky IV. And this isn’t some “I forgot to shave, here’s a little stubble” look. No, we get full out, lumberjack-style beard action. Does any other Rocky movie have our hero¬†looking like an old Russian aristocrat? Another point for Rocky IV.


9. There’s a robot!

Again, there’s so much to Rocky IV, you probably forgot about the robot. Well, Rocky has some money now and he‚Äôs not going to spend it on frivolous things for himself. He’s going to buy Paulie a robot! The best part of this scene is how truly disturbed Paulie is by this new technology until he gives it a sexy lady voice.


10. Rocky Ends the Cold War

If you’re still not convinced that Rocky IV is the greatest, answer this question: Does any other Rocky movie bring peace between the US and Russia?

By the end of the film, Rocky rises up to beat the seemingly undefeatable Drago. He fights so well, that even the Russians begin to appreciate his skills. Then, instead of using his victory to prove America’s superiority, he gives a rousing speech of “If I can change and you can change, everybody can change!” The whole crowd goes wild, including all of the Russian government, who we assume give up Communism immediately based solely on Rocky’s words. Stallone’s call for international reconciliation through brutal fighting and a variety of montages makes this if not one of the greatest films of all time, certainly the greatest Rocky of them all.

Catch the “Too Rotten to Miss” movie Rocky IV this Friday at 8P on IFC.¬†

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