DID YOU READ

The Last-Minute Portlandia Holiday Gift Guide

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If we’ve learned anything from Portlandia, it’s that mainstream stuff sucks. And that capitalism is only acceptable if it’s used as a tool for supporting local artisans, fair-trade coffee mongers, and feminist bookstores. That said, it can be tricky to shop for a favorite Portlander—or aspiring Portlander—for the holidays, but fear not: we rounded up some Northwest essentials for your last-minute stocking stuffing. Ho ho ho…or whatever.

For Your Favorite Coffee Puritan

A Coava Coffee Kone. Once I went into Coava, a fantastic coffee shop in Portland’s inner southeast neighborhood, and idly inquired about the roast I was to purchase. Twenty minutes later, I was a pseudo-expert on the appropriate levels of boric acid in the coffee plant’s soil. These guys do not mess around with their beans; they’re so committed to the perfect cup that they even designed and manufactured their own filter, the Coava Kone, out of laser-cut stainless steel. Basically, if you’re not using one to make your brew, you’re doing it wrong.

Stumptown Coffee Grand Cru Collection. Stumptown is the original, the company that put Portland coffee on the map. I needn’t detail here their always-reliable blends, their innovative Direct Trade policy, or their indispensable iced coffee “stubbies,” without which no summer in the Northwest is worth living. No caffeine aficionado will turn up their nose at Stumptown’s “Grand Cru” collection, a sampler set of the company’s “most coveted” coffees that comes complete with a stylish holiday mug.

For The Bookish Type

Locally-Printed Books from Publication Studio. Everyone knows about Powell’s, the largest independent purveyor of books in the world. It’s the jewel in our crown, proving indubitably that we’re one of the great literary cities in America. But our legacy as book nerds of the highest order is only growing. Evidence: Publication Studio, a completely new model for a bookstore. Publication Studio is boutique publisher that literally prints books on demand from their tiny storefront downtown, on SW Ankeny street. You can walk up, order a book, or browse from their selection of curated tomes, which range from literary anthologies to a beautiful (and pocketable) edition of Walter Benjamin’s Berlin Chronicle.

Field Notes Notebooks. Designed by local design icon Aaron Draplin, who mines classic American mid-century design and reinvents it as an impeccably type-set, beautifully minimal aesthetic, Field Notes Notebooks are a staple of the Portlander’s back pocket. Show your state pride with special-edition Oregon notebooks, or go for the classic brown-cardboard version. Your favorite advocate of “real paper and pencils” will be stoked.

For The Advocate of Bicycle Rights

Hand-Sewn Leather Bicyle Track Drops. Ship your clean bicycle track drops to Draught Dry Goods, and they’ll hand-stitch fancy vegetable-tanned leather around them, upgrading your daily bicycle commuter’s look to downright classy. Like all fine things, the leather will age to rich golden brown with regular use.

PDX by Bike Zine. Designed to fit in your back pocket while you ride, this slim little zine is part tour-guide, part civic history book, and will bring you up to (ten) speed on Portland’s unstoppable bike culture. Perfect paired with a gray “I Bike PDX” t-shirt,” don’t you think?

For The Portland Patriot

Hand-Letterpresed Portland Holiday Cards. It seems you can’t throw a rock in PDX without hitting a letterpress shop. Pay homage to our fair city (and its hearty printing scene) with these beautiful, local-monument-heavy holiday cards handmade in a fancy old-timey manner by local printer by Beth Kerschen.

Portland Grocery Maptote. Ok, this guy isn’t made locally, but we promise it’s still handmade in the USA from organic cotton, so it’s honorary Portland. Maptote makes a whole line of Portland paraphernalia emblazoned with charming wood-hewn letters and simple maps of the Rose City. Great for toting famer’s market produce home on your bike—plus it doubles as emergency directions.

Bonus: For The Patchouli Victim in Your Life!

Olo Fragrances. Hand-blended in Portland by fragrance-mystic Heather Sielaff, Olo fragrances are unisex, woodsy, and ever-so-ethereal. Tell your hippie friend to ditch their Nag Champa for good and gift them a sampler kit of four of Olo’s most popular scents, which have moody, epic names like “Victory Wolf” and “Dark Wave.”

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Millennial Wisdom

Charles Speaks For Us All

Get to know Charles, the social media whiz of Brockmire.

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He may be an unlikely radio producer Brockmire, but Charles is #1 when it comes to delivering quips that tie a nice little bow on the absurdity of any given situation.

Charles also perfectly captures the jaded outlook of Millennials. Or at least Millennials as mythologized by marketers and news idiots. You know who you are.

Played superbly by Tyrel Jackson Williams, Charles’s quippy nuggets target just about any subject matter, from entry-level jobs in social media (“I plan on getting some experience here, then moving to New York to finally start my life.”) to the ramifications of fictional celebrity hookups (“Drake and Taylor Swift are dating! Albums y’all!”). But where he really nails the whole Millennial POV thing is when he comments on America’s second favorite past-time after type II diabetes: baseball.

Here are a few pearls.

On Baseball’s Lasting Cultural Relevance

“Baseball’s one of those old-timey things you don’t need anymore. Like cursive. Or email.”

On The Dramatic Value Of Double-Headers

“The only thing dumber than playing two boring-ass baseball games in one day is putting a two-hour delay between the boring-ass games.”

On Sartorial Tradition

“Is dressing badly just a thing for baseball, because that would explain his jacket.”

On Baseball, In A Nutshell

“Baseball is a f-cked up sport, and I want you to know it.”


Learn more about Charles in the behind-the-scenes video below.

And if you were born before the late ’80s and want to know what the kids think about Baseball, watch Brockmire Wednesdays at 10P on IFC.

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Crown Jules

Amanda Peet FTW on Brockmire

Amanda Peet brings it on Brockmire Wednesday at 10P on IFC.

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GIFS via Giphy

On Brockmire, Jules is the unexpected yin to Jim Brockmire’s yang. Which is saying a lot, because Brockmire’s yang is way out there. Played by Amanda Peet, Jules is hard-drinking, truth-spewing, baseball-loving…everything Brockmire is, and perhaps what he never expected to encounter in another human.

“We’re the same level of functional alcoholic.”


But Jules takes that commonality and transforms it into something special: a new beginning. A new beginning for failing minor league baseball team “The Frackers”, who suddenly about-face into a winning streak; and a new beginning for Brockmire, whose life gets a jumpstart when Jules lures him back to baseball. As for herself, her unexpected connection with Brockmire gives her own life a surprising and much needed goose.

“You’re a Goddamn Disaster and you’re starting To look good to me.”

This palpable dynamic adds depth and complexity to the narrative and pushes the series far beyond expected comedy. See for yourself in this behind-the-scenes video (and brace yourself for a unforgettable description of Brockmire’s genitals)…

Want more about Amanda Peet? She’s all over the place, and has even penned a recent self-reflective piece in the New York Times.

And of course you can watch the Jim-Jules relationship hysterically unfold in new episodes of Brockmire, every Wednesday at 10PM on IFC.

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Draught Pick

Sam Adams “Keeps It Brockmire”

All New Brockmire airs Wednesdays at 10P on IFC.

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From baseball to beer, Jim Brockmire calls ’em like he sees ’em.

via GIPHY

It’s no wonder at all, then, that Sam Adams would reach out to Brockmire to be their shockingly-honest (and inevitably short-term) new spokesperson. Unscripted and unrestrained, he’ll talk straight about Sam—and we’ll take his word. Check out this new testimonial for proof:

See more Brockmire Wednesdays at 10P on IFC, presented by Samuel Adams. Good f***** beer.

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