Roseanne Barr

Garage Goddess

The Best Quotes from Roseanne Barr’s WTF with Marc Maron Episode

Catch up on the final season of Maron anytime on IFC.com and the IFC app.

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Photo Credit: Elizabeth Goodenough/Everett Collection

Legendary comedian and current political wild card Roseanne Barr stopped by Marc Maron‘s garage this week to promote her new documentary Roseanne for President, and reminisce about the good and bad old days getting her stand-up start at The Comedy Store. And as you can imagine, it was quite the interview, with Roseanne holding forth on everything from Trump to her time spent in a mental institution.

Check out a few of the self proclaimed domestic goddess’ choicest quotes below, and listen to her full WTF with Marc Maron interview here. For more Marc, catch up on the final season of Maron anytime on IFC.com and the IFC app.

1. On a potential Trump presidency:

Devil
Comedy Central

“Comedy’s going to get so f*cking big. That’s why I want Trump to win, because it’s gonna f—ing rock comedy…It will make comedy bigger than anything…I need a f—ing job…If Hillary is the f—ing president no one will be telling any goddamn jokes. Everybody will be like, I am offended by that!”


2. On the Afterlife:

Devil
New Line Cinema

“I did try to repent, because I don’t want to burn in hellfire for all of eternity…I think the Devil’s an Anti-Semite.”


3. On Truth Tellers:

Liar Liar
Universal Pictures

“I realize that people who tell the truth, nobody f—ing likes ’em…The only time they like somebody who tells the truth is 500 years after they’re dead, and only if they’re tortured horribly before they died.”


4. On her comedy frenemy Sam Kinison:

Sam Kinison
Columbia Pictures Television

“He turns on you after awhile. He was kind of bipolar. If he likes you one day, then he didn’t like you. But all comics are like that.”


5. On the Power of Comedy:

Roseanne
HBO

“Somebody’s got to be getting smacked or it’s not funny.”

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Inauguration Alternative

Bill Murray On Repeat

It's a movie "Murray-thon" all-day Friday on IFC.

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Photo Credit: Everett Collection, GIFs courtesy of GIPHY

Democrats, Republicans and Millennials agree: 2017 is shaping up to be a spectacle — a spectacle that really kicks into high gear this Friday with the presidential inauguration. Not only will the new POTUS swear in, but all the Country’s highest offices will be filled. It’s a daunting prospect, and to feel a little anxious about it is only normal. But if your anxiety is snowballing into panic, we have a solution:
Bill Murray.

He’s the human embodiment of a mental “Happy Place”, and there’s really no problem he can’t solve. So, with that in mind, how about we all set aside reality for a moment and let Bill take the pain away by imagining a top-shelf White House cabinet filled exclusively by his signature characters. Here are a few hypothetical appointments for your consideration…

Secretary of Defense:
Bill Murray from Stripes

His incompetence is balanced by charm, and dumb luck is inexplicably on his side. America could do worse.

Secretary of State:
Bill Murray from Lost In Translation

A seasoned globetrotter steeped in regional traditions who has the respect of the whole wide world. And he kills Costello in karaoke, which is very important.

Press Secretary:
Bill Murray from Ghostbusters

“Cats and dogs, living together. Mass hysteria.” Dude knows how to brief a room.

Secretary of Health and Human Services:
Bill Murray from What About Bob.

A doctor-approved people person who knows that progress is measured in baby steps.

Secretary of Energy:
Bill Murray from Groundhog Day

Let’s be honest, this world is going to need a lot of do-overs.

Feeling better? Hold on to that bliss. And enjoy a healthy alternative to the inauguration brouhaha with multiple Murrays all Friday long in an IFC movie marathon including Kingpin, Zombieland, Ghostbusters, and Ghostbusters II.

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Home Run

Hank Azaria Gets Thrown A Curve Ball

Brockmire Premieres April 5 at 10P

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Photo Credit: Everett Collection

Unless you’ve somehow missed every episode of the Simpsons since 1989, then surely you know that Hank Azaria is one of the most important character actors of our time. He’s so prolific and his voice is so dynamic that he’s responsible for more iconic personalities than most folks realize. Basically, he’s the great and powerful Oz — except that when you pull back the curtain the truth is actually more impressive. And now Hank is coming to IFC to bring yet another character to the TV pop culture hive mind in the new series Brockmire. Check out the trailer below.

Based on the following Funny or Die short and co-starring Amanda Peet, Brockmire follows the story of imploded major league sportscaster Jim Brockmire as he tries to resurrect his career by calling plays for a floundering minor league team in a podunk town.

The series is written by Joel Church-Cooper (Undateable) and produced by Funny or Die’s Mike Farah and Joe Farrell, meaning that there’s funny in front of the camera, funny behind the camera–funny all around. Sounds like a ball to us.

Brockmire premieres April 5 at 10P on IFC.

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Car Notes

Portlandia On People Who Can’t Park

Portlandia returns tonight at 10P on IFC.

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If flagrant bad parking takes nerve, then retaliatory note writing takes neuroses. Watch Fred and Carrie take passive aggression to next level in Car Notes, the new Portlandia web series presented by Subaru. The first episode is yours right here and now, and you can see every installment of Car Notes anytime online, on the IFC app and on demand.

Portlandia returns tonight at 10P on IFC.

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