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Rons of Anarchy

Ron Perlman’s 10 Best Tough Guy Roles

Ron Perlman joins Marc for the two-part Maron series finale tonight at 9P on IFC.

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The problem with picking Ron Perlman’s most badass tough guy roles is that they’re all pretty badass. With his barrel-chested frame and deep baritone voice, Perlman brings a menacing quality to almost any part. (Even the Beast in the cheesy Beauty and the Beast TV series.) Dating back to guest spots on The Fall Guy and Miami Vice, this guy has played a lot of tough SOBs. With Perlman set to stop by the two-part Maron series finale tonight, we thought it was time to celebrate everyone’s favorite heavy. Here are the ten most kick ass parts he’s ever played. Let’s hope Marc is ready to throw down.

10. The Lich, Adventure Time

A major villain in the mythology of Adventure Time, The Lich is the personification of evil, and one of Perlman’s most deliciously wicked parts.


9. Corin, Conan the Barbarian

When you need to cast the father of one of the most iconic warriors in the history of pop culture, there’s just one man for the job: King Perlman.


8.  Johner, Alien: Resurrection

While not the most popular edition in the Alien franchise, Perlman still proves that nothing scares him. Not a pissed off Xenomorph, heights or even spiders. (Click here to see all airings of Alien Resurrection on IFC.)


7. Reinhardt, Blade II

Perlman rarely gets to play the Big Bad. More often than not, he’s at home as one of the henchmen, who puts up an epic fight before meeting his untimely end. But he always goes out fighting.


6. Nino, Drive

Perlman’s jumpy wise guy offers a nice counterbalance to Albert Brooks’ low key menace in this acclaimed 2011 crime film. Watching the duo work together makes us pine for a Nino/Bernie prequel.


5. Koulikov, Enemy at the Gates

Perlman shows off his dramatic chops in this epic war film, playing a soldier haunted by his past, and maybe his future.


4. Gunnar, Outlander

Perlman got to play the chieftain of a destroyed Viking village in this 2008 sci-fi flick, who unleashed his wrath in one of the great fight scenes of the actor’s career.


3. Hellboy

Perhaps Perlman’s most famous role, Hellboy may be lovable, but never doubt that the prophesied end of humanity is still an ass-kicking machine in a red package.


2. Justice, Afro Samurai

Justice is Afro Samurai’s most feared foe, a diseased killer who decapitated Afro Samurai’s father, to claim his power. You don’t want to stand between this psycho and the Number One Headband. (Trust us. It makes sense. Just watch the show.)


1. Clay Morrow, Sons of Anarchy

And then there’s Clay, Sons of Anarchy‘s hero turned main villain, who isn’t afraid to put you down if you get in his way.

Watch Maron get some manly advice from Ron Perlman and M.C. Gainey tonight at 9P on IFC. 

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Very NSFW

The Brockmire Premiere Is All Truth

Watch The First Episode of Brockmire Right Now for Free

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GIFS via Giphy

At long last, the Brockmire pre-premiere has arrived. Which means you can watch it right now—on IFC.com, at Funny Or Die, on IFC’s Apple TV and mobile apps, on Youtube, on Facebook, on the AMC apps, and right here. So grab some headphones and get watching.

No seriously, get headphones.

Because whether he’s giving a play-by-play or ruminating on the world around him, Jim Brockmire calls it like he sees it. And how he sees it is very NSFW. His take on life is actually quite refreshing, even to the point of being profoundly sage. For proof just look at these pearls of unconventional wisdom from the premiere…

Brockmire On The Internet

“If I need porn I just buy a nudie mag, like my father and his father before him.”

Brockmire On Sex-Ed

“Kids, a strap-on is a belt with d— on it that mommies use to f— daddies.”
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Brockmire On The Perfect High

“Somewhere between 10 cups of coffee and very low-grade cocaine.”
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Brockmire On The Tardiness of Spring

“Old man winter’s reaching his hand inside your coat to give that thing one more squeeze.”

Brockmire On Keeping Perspective

“I thought I hit rock bottom in a handicap restroom in Bangkok where a Thai lady-boy snorted crank off my johnson while a sunburnt German watched us on the toilet”
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Brockmire On Humanity

“If you want to look directly into the gaping maw of oblivion, don’t look up to the heavens. Just look in the mirror.”
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See these nuggets and more in the first episode of Brockmire, and see the whole season beginning April 5 at 10P on IFC.

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Thank Azaria

Best. Characters. Ever.

Our favorite Hank Azaria characters.

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Hank Azaria may well be the most prolific voice and character actor of our time. The work he’s done for The Simpsons alone has earned him a permanent place in the pop culture zeitgeist. And now he’s bringing another character to the mainstream: a washed-up sports announcer named Jim Brockmire, in the aptly titled new series Brockmire.

We’re looking forward to it. So much so that we want to look backward, too, with a short-but-sweet retrospective of some of Azaria’s important characters. Shall we begin?

Half The Recurring Simpsons Characters

He’s Comic Book Guy. He’s Chief Wiggum. He’s Apu. He’s Cletus. He’s Snake. He’s Superintendent Chalmers. He’s the Sea Captain. He’s Kurt “Can I Borrow A Feeling” Van Houten. He’s Professor Frink. He’s Carl. And he’s many more. But most importantly he’s Moe Szyslak, the staple character Azaria has voiced since his very first audition for The Simpsons.

Oh, and He’s Frank Grimes

For all the regular Simpsons characters Azaria has played over the years, his most brilliant performance may have been a one-off: Frank Grimes, the scrappy bootstrapper who worked tirelessly all his life for honest, incremental, and easily-undermined success. Azaria’s portrayal of this character was nuanced, emotional, and simply magical.

Patches O’Houlihan

Dodgeball is a “sport of violence, exclusion and degradation.” as Hank Azaria generously points out in his brief but crucial cameo in Dodgeball. That’s sage wisdom. Try applying his “five D’s” to your life on and off the court and enjoy the results.

Harold Zoid

Of Futurama fame. The crazy uncle of Dr. Zoidberg, Harold Zoid was once a lion (or lobster) of the silver screen until Smell-o-vision forced him into retirement.

Agador

The Birdcage was significant for many reasons, and the comic genius of Hank Azaria’s character “Agador” sits somewhere towards the top of that list. If you haven’t seen this movie, shame on you.

Gargamel

Nobody else could make a live-action Gargamel possible.

Ed Cochran

From Ray Donovan. Great character, great last name [editorial note: the author of this article may be bias].

Kahmunra, The Thinker, Abe Lincoln

All in the Night At The Museum: Battle Of The Smithsonian, a file that let Azaria flex his voice acting and live-action muscles in one fell swoop.

The Blue Raja

Mystery Men has everything, including a fatal case of Smash Mouth. Azaria’s iconic superhero makes the shortlist of redeemable qualities, though.

Dr. Huff

Huff put Azaria in a leading role, and it was good. So good that there is no good gif of it. Internet? More like Inter-not.

Learn more about Hank Azaria’s newest claim to fame right here, and don’t miss the premiere of Brockmire April 5 at 10P on IFC.

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Flame Out

Brockmire and Other Public Implosions

Brockmire Premieres April 5 at 10P on IFC.

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There’s less than a month until the Brockmire premiere, and to say we’re excited would be an insulting understatement. It’s not just that it stars Hank Azaria, who can do no wrong (and yes, that’s including Mystery Men, which is only cringeworthy because of Smash Mouth). It’s that the whole backstory of the titular character, Jim Brockmire, is the stuff of legends. A one-time iconic sportscaster who won the hearts of fans and players alike, he fell from grace after an unfortunate personal event triggered a seriously public meltdown. See for yourself in the NSFW Funny or Die digital short that spawned the IFC series:

See? NSFW and spectacularly catastrophic in a way that could almost be real. Which got us thinking: What are some real-life sports fails that have nothing to do with botched athletics and everything to do with going tragically off script? The internet is a dark and dirty place, friends, but these three examples are pretty special and mostly safe for work…

Disgruntled Sports Reporter

His co-anchor went offsides and he called it like he saw it.

Jim Rome vs Jim “Not Chris” Everett

You just don’t heckle a professional athlete when you’re within striking distance. Common sense.

Carl Lewis’s National Anthem

He killed it! As in murdered. It’s dead.

To see more moments just like these, we recommend spending a day in your pajamas combing through the muckiness of the internet. But to see something that’s Brockmire-level funny without having to clear your browser history, check out the sneak peeks and extras here.

Don’t miss the premiere of Brockmire April 5 at 10P on IFC.

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