Kazaam

Drop the Mic

The 10 Worst Fictional Rappers

Find out how Marc deals with his rapping roommate on a brand new Maron this Wednesday at 9P on IFC.

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Photo Credit: Everett Collection

The musical equivalent of a terrible improv comedy show, lousy rappers act as the nails on the chalkboard of artistic expression. Instead of dope rhymes, we get a waste of time, listening to wannabes vomit verbal slime. (See how easy it is?!) Some of the best so-bad-they’re good rhymes come courtesy of fake rappers from the ’90s, that decade when everyone thought all you needed to do to be a hip hop MC was grab a mic and talk over a beat. In honor of Marc’s new rapping roommate Trey (Chet Hanks) on Maron, check out some fictional rappers who should’ve dropped the mic before they opened their mouths.

10. Brad ‘B-Rad’ Gluckman, Malibu’s Most Wanted

Jamie Kennedy played the world’s whitest rapper in this flop comedy that tried to spoof Eight Mile, and ended up spoofing itself.


9. The Leprechaun, Leprechaun: In The Hood

You know with a title like Leprechaun: In The Hood, it was only a matter of time before the minuscule monster took to the mic and laid down some awful rhymes. And boy did he not disappoint.


8. Barney The Master Rapper, Fruity Pebbles commercial

You know your new sound has gone mainstream when Saturday morning cartoon characters start aping it to sell breakfast cereal.


7. Kazaam the Rapping Genie

This clip tries to answer the age-old question: who would you rather listen to rap, a ten-year-old white kid or a NBA player pretending to be a genie? The answer, unsurprisingly, is neither.


6. Sgt. Friday and Det. Streebek, “City of Crime” from Dragnet

Before Chet Hanks laid down some rhymes on Maron, his pop Tom made a hip hop video with Dan Aykroyd for their 1987 Dragnet remake. Too bad “City of Crime” was Tom Hanks’ one and only rap video. Check out those dance moves.


5. David Silver, Beverly Hills 90210

Brian Austin Green had a short-lived hip hop career in the ’90s, thanks in no small part to the rhymes he laid down as David Silver on Beverly Hills, 90210. Really though, is David’s flow any worse than ’90s Canadian rapper Snow?


4. Grandmaster B, Married With Children

Grandmaster B apparently came out of Bud Bundy actor David Faustino rapping around the set, and the Married With Children writers finding it hysterical, much to the young MC’s surprise.


3. Bart Simpson, “Do the Bartman”

A relic from the days when Simpsons-mania first swept the nation, Bart’s single “Do the Bartman” topped the charts for a brief period in 1990. Listen carefully and you’ll hear Bart super fan Michael Jackson singing back-up vocals.


2. Mc Skat Kat

First coming to fame in the Paula Abdul “Opposites Attract” video, animated hip hop feline MC Skat Kat somehow scored his own album, The Adventures of MC Skat Kat and the Stray Mob, in 1991. Paula Abdul appeared in the video for the “Skat Strut,” a low point in her career, which is saying a lot.


1. MC Steve Urkel, Family Matters

Everything about this clip screams 1990s. First you’ve got Urkel, the uber nerd who turned Family Matters from a family sitcom into a show about robots and love potions through sheer force of will. Then there’s the awful rapping, and the very special message, in this case against gun violence. And, just for good measure, there’s a Freddie Prinze Jr. cameo, just to bring it home. Ah, the ’90s, you sideburn wearing, hippity hop-aping decade. We miss you.

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Holiday Extra Special

Make The Holidays ’80s Again

Enjoy the holiday cheer Wednesday December 21 at 10P on IFC.

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Whatever happened to the kind of crazy-yet-cozy holiday specials that blanketed the early winter airwaves of the 1980s? Unceremoniously killed by infectious ’90s jadedness? Slow fade out at the hands of early-onset millennial ennui? Whatever the reason, nixing the tradition was a huge mistake.

A huge mistake that we’re about to fix.

Announcing IFC’s Joe’s Pub Presents: A Holiday Special, starring Tony Hale. It’s a celeb-studded extravaganza in the glorious tradition of yesteryear featuring Bridget Everett, Jo Firestone, Nick Thune, Jen Kirkman, house band The Dap-Kings, and many more. And it’s at Joe’s Pub, everyone’s favorite home away from home in the Big Apple.

The yuletide cheer explodes Wednesday December 21 at 10P. But if you were born after 1989 and have no idea what void this spectacular special is going to fill, sample from this vintage selection of holiday hits:

Andy Williams and The NBC Kids Search For Santa

The quintessential holiday special. Get snuggly and turn off your brain. You won’t need it.

A Muppet Family Christmas

The Fraggles. The Muppets. The Sesame Street gang. Fate. The Jim Henson multiverse merges in this warm and fuzzy Holiday gathering.

Julie Andrews: The Sound Of Christmas

To this day a foolproof antidote to holiday cynicism. It’s cheesy, but a good cheese. In this case an Alpine Gruyère.

Star Wars Holiday Special

Okay, busted. This one was released in 1978. Still totally ’80s though. And yes that’s Bea Arthur.

Pee Wee’s Playhouse Christmas Special

Pass the eggnog, and make sure it’s loaded. This special is everything you’d expect it to be and much, much more.

Joe’s Pub Presents: A Holiday Special premieres Wednesday December 21 at 10P on IFC.

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It Ain't Over Yet

A Guide to Coping with the End of Comedy Bang! Bang!

Watch the final episodes tonight at 11 and 11:30P on IFC.

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After five seasons and 110 halved-hour episodes, Scott Aukerman’s hipster comedy opus, Comedy Bang! Bang!, has come to an end. Fridays at 11 and 11:30P will never be the same. We know it can be hard for fans to adjust after the series finale of their favorite TV show. That’s why we’ve prepared this step-by-step guide to managing your grief.

Step One: Cry it out

It’s just natural. We’re sad too.
Scott crying GIF

Step Two: Read the CB!B! IMDB Trivia Page

The show is over and it feels like you’ve lost a friend. But how well did you really know this friend? Head over to Comedy Bang! Bang!’s IMDB page to find out some things you may not have known…like that it’s “based on a Civil War battle of the same name” or that “Reggie Watts was actually born with the name Theodore Leopold The Third.”

Step Three: Listen to the podcast

One fascinating piece of CB!B! trivia that you might not learn from IMDB is that there’s a podcast that shares the same name as the TV show. It’s even hosted by Scott Aukerman! It’s not exactly like watching the TV show on a Friday night, but that’s only because each episode is released Monday morning. If you close your eyes, the podcast is just like watching the show with your eyes closed!

Step Four: Watch brand new CB!B! clips?!

The best way to cope with the end of Comedy Bang! Bang! is to completely ignore that it’s over — because it’s not. In an unprecedented move, IFC is opening up the bonus CB!B! content vault. There are four brand new, never-before-seen sketches featuring Scott Aukerman, Kid Cudi, and “Weird Al” Yankovic ready for you to view on the IFC App. There’s also one right here, below this paragraph! Watch all four b-b-bonus clips and feel better.

Binge the entire final season, plus exclusive sketches, right now on the IFC app.

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Everybody Sweats Now

The Four-Day Sweatsgiving Weekend On IFC

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This long holiday weekend is your time to gobble gobble gobble and give heartfelt thanks—thanks for the comfort and forgiveness of sweatpants. Because when it comes right down to it, there’s nothing more wholesome and American than stuffing yourself stupid and spending endless hours in front of the TV in your softest of softests.

So get the sweats, grab the remote and join IFC for four perfect days of entertainment.

sweatsgiving
It all starts with a 24-hour T-day marathon of Rocky Horror Picture Show, then continues Friday with an all-day binge of Stan Against Evil.

By Saturday, the couch will have molded to your shape. Which is good, because you’ll be nestled in for back-to-back Die Hard and Lethal Weapon.

Finally, come Sunday it’s time to put the sweat back in your sweatpants with The Shining, The Exorcist, The Chronicles of Riddick, Terminator 2, and Blade: Trinity. They totally count as cardio.

As if you need more convincing, here’s Martha Wash and the IFC&C Music Factory to hammer the point home.

The Sweatsgiving Weekend starts Thursday on IFC

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