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DID YOU READ

10 Times Marc Maron Had Bad Luck With Women

Megan

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By Nikki Wantz

Marc Maron might be considered a self–obsessed misanthrope with a particular “je ne sais quoi” that keeps us glued to our televisions every week, but the real meat in Maron’s muddled misadventures are the women. They are interesting, complex and often bring out the best (and worst) in Marc. Let’s honor them by counting down some of the most memorable women on Maron and their cringe-worthy encounters with the show’s star.

10. Shay, “Boomer Lives”

Shay was Marc’s good-natured neighbor who also had a missing cat. It seemed like they had an instant chemistry until Marc finds out she’s not buying what he’s selling. Oof. Back to the drawing board.

Shay


9. Caroline Rhea, “Nostalgic Sex Buddy”

Newly single Marc wants no frills sex? When fellow comic and former flame Caroline Rhea makes an appearance it seems like he met his match. But he ends up getting more than he bargained for.

Caroline


8. Rachael Harris, “Yoga Teacher”

Marc saw a meaningful relationship with Rachael. (It helps that they both share a common bond in dating emotional terrorists.) Unfortunately, Rachael wasn’t done with dating screwed up guys and ended up leaving Marc in the dust. At least he tried!

Rachel


7. Sydney, “Mouth Cancer Gig”

Sydney (Tig Notaro) was the concierge at the Lubbock, Texas hotel where Marc stays while on the road. He shows her an unsightly sore on his mouth, to which she replies, “I’m not allowed to give out medical advice anymore.” (Anymore? What’s the story there?)

Maron (Season 2) -Photo Credit:Chris Ragazzo/IFC ©2013


6. Justine, “Dominatrix”

Justine was so nuts, she had an entire episode named after her chosen profession. They say don’t judge a book by its cover but you can barely get through a few pages of Justine without cringing. Run, don’t walk away. When he could have had a nice girl, which leads us to…

Justine


5. Megan, “Dominatrix”

Megan was perfect for Marc. She’s beautiful, articulate (aside from not listening to The Stooges) and was generally interested after Illeana Douglas gave her the hard sell. Even after he went with Justine, she gave Marc another chance. Geez Marc, fall for the nice girl already!

Megan


4. Lauren, “White Truck”

Marc meets Lauren in a parking lot and before they know it sex happens (well, that was easy). Little did Marc know about the husband she was kinda sorta leaving but actually wasn’t. Pro-tip: If you’re not sure someone is getting divorced, make sure you have a shotgun handy or at least a pair of boxing gloves.

Lauren


3. Alexia, “A Real Woman”

Alexia is beautiful, age appropriate and knows good tunes! Too bad she had ulterior motives leaving Marc in an awkward unexpected position. Sadly, not a first for him.

Alexia


2. Toni Maron, “The Mom Situation” and “Marc’s Family”

It’s not going out on a limb to say his mom is a major reason Marc has issues with the fairer sex. She’s cruel, vapid and might make a better Disney villain than a mother.

ToniMaron


1. Jen, Various episodes

Jen was the closest Marc has come to a serious relationship thus far. They even lived together for a while, even though the whole thing was based on a lie. Will we see Jen again? For Marc’s sake, it’s probably best if we don’t.

Jen

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Rev Up

Your Portlandia Personality Test

The New Portlandia Webseries Is Going Your Way

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Carrie and Fred understand that although we have so much in common, we’re each so beautifully unique and different. To help us navigate those differences, Portlandia has found an easy and honest way to embrace our special selves in the form of a progressive new traffic system: a specific lane for every kind of driver. It’s all in honor of the show’s 8th and final season, and it’s all presented by Subaru.

Ready to find out who you really are? Match your personality to a lane and hop on the expressway to self-understanding.

Lane 10: Trucks Piled With Junk

Your junk is falling out of your trunk. Shake a tail light, people — this lane is for you.

Lane 33: Twins

You’re like a Gemini, but waaaay more pedestrian. Maybe you and a friend just wear the same outfits a lot. Who cares, it’s just twinning enough to make you feel special.

Lane 27: Broken Windows

Bad luck follows you around and everyone knows it. Your proverbial seat is always damp from proverbial rain. Is this the universe telling you to swallow your pride? Yes.

Lane 69: Filthy Cars

You’re all about convenience. Getting your car washed while you drive is a no-brainer.

Lane 43: Newly Divorced Singles

It’s been a while since you’ve driven alone, and you don’t know the rules of the road anymore. What’s too fast? What’s too slow? Are you sending the right signals? Don’t worry, the breakdown lane is nearby if you need it.

Still can’t find a lane to match your personality? Check out all the videos here. And see the final season of Portlandia this spring on IFC.

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Give Back

Last-Minute Holiday Gift Guide

Hits from the '80s are on repeat all Christmas Eve and Day on IFC.

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GIFs via Giphy, Photos via The Everett Collection

It’s the final countdown to Christmas and thanks to IFC’s movie marathon all Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, you can revel in classic ’80s films AND find inspiration for your last-minute gifts. Here are our recommendations, if you need a head start:

Musical Instrument

Great analog entertainment substitute when you refuse to give your kid the Nintendo Switch they’ve been drooling over.

Breakfast In Bed

Any significant other or child would appreciate these Uncle Buck-approved flapjacks. Just make sure you’re not stuck on clean up duty.

Cocktail Supplies

You’ll need them to get through the holidays.

Dance Lessons

So you can learn to shake-shake-shake (unless you know ghosts willing to lend a hand).

Comfy Clothes

With all the holiday meals, there may be some…embigenning.



Get even more great inspiration all Christmas Eve and Day on IFC, and remember…

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A-O Rewind

Celebrating Portlandia One Sketch at a Time

The final season of Portlandia approaches.

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GIFs via Giphy

Most people measure time in minutes, hours, days, years…At IFC, we measure it in sketches. And nothing takes us way (waaaaaay) back like Portlandia sketches. Yes, there’s a Portlandia milepost from every season that changed the way we think, behave, and pickle things. In honor of Portlandia’s 8th and final season, Subaru presents a few of our favorites.

via GIPHY

Put A Bird On It

Portlandia enters the pop-culture lexicon and inspires us to put birds on literally everything.

Colin the Chicken

Who’s your chicken, really? Behold the emerging locavore trend captured perfectly to the nth degree.

Dream Of The ’90s

This treatise on Portland made it clear that “the dream” was alive and well.

No You Go

We Americans spend most of our lives in cars. Fortunately, there’s a Portlandia sketch for every automotive situation.

A-O River!

We learned all our outdoor survival skills from Kath and Dave.

One More Episode

The true birth of binge watching, pre-Netflix. And what you’ll do once Season 8 premieres.

Catch up on Portlandia’s best moments before the 8th season premieres January 18th on IFC.

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