Joe Jonas Concert Movie

Pop Life

The Craziest Moments From 3-D Concert Movies

Joe Jonas brings the funk to Comedy Bang! Bang! tonight at 11P.

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Photo Credit: Walt Disney/Everett Collection

Before they went off in their own directions, The Jonas Brothers were beloved by tweens everywhere. Which may explain why they appear in not just one, but two, of the biggest pop concert 3-D movies ever made. If you’re unfamiliar with this burgeoning subgenre, below is everything you need to know about seven of the biggest 3-D “popumentaries” out there. And be sure to catch the all grown up Joe Jonas when he appears on Comedy Bang! Bang! tonight at 11P on IFC. We can’t guarantee he’ll be 3-D, though you never know what will happen when Scott and “Weird Al” are involved.

1. Glee: The 3D Concert Movie

What Is It? A jukebox medley sing-along based on the long-running TV series/cover song hit making machine.
Big 3-D Moment: The closing credits in which a succession of fluorescent-hued cartoon Slurpies splash across the screen. Because, remember season one when everyone threw Slurpies at Lea Michele’s character? Yeah, that was a long time ago…
Concert Highlights: Although Tumblr no doubt freaked out over the Chris Colfer/Lea Michele recreation of a famous Judy Garland/Barbra Streisand duet, Gwyneth Paltrow’s sex kitten rendition of “Forget You” is by far the best part of the movie. (Didn’t she play a teacher on the show? Honestly, we’ve forgotten 90% of it. )
Celeb Sighting: Barbra Streisand’s mannerisms and vocal affectations are well-represented. But alas, no Babs herself. Sigh.
WTF Moment: Heather Morris’ stripper-style routine to Britney Spears’ “I’m a Slave for You” suggests a PG-13 rating at least. But nope, this movie’s PG.


2. Hannah Montana and Miley Cyrus: Best of Both Worlds

What Is It? An accelerated musical puberty in which Miley sheds her flirty, virginal Disney persona then begins to vamp like a grown-up. Who knew how far she’d take THAT?!
Big 3-D Moments: A guitar pick gets flicked out at the camera (Hannah section); a drumstick gets tossed up at the camera (Miley section).
Concert Highlights: Disney pop is best consumed in small doses, which explains why the Jonas Brothers’ three-song set is the highlight here. That said, Miley’s sultry vocals for “See You Again” hint at the VMA twerking and Robin Thicke-humping to come.
Celeb Sightings: Inevitable but welcome: Miley teaches her “Achy Breaky” dad Billy Ray how to play “I Miss You,” a song about her grandfather.
WTF Moment: Continuity issues show Miley wearing a jean vest, then the vest is gone, then it’s back again. Wardrobe, I think we have a problem.


3. Jonas Brothers: The 3-D Concert Experience

What Is It? Disney’s greatest band of brothers (after Huey, Dewey, and Louie) perform at Madison Square Garden, Bryant Park and Central Park while young girls’ scream at ear-piercing levels.
Big 3-D Moment: CGI pigeons fly towards the camera during the music video for “Love Is on Its Way.” As far as 3-D effects go, it’s a stretch.
Concert Highlight: With a sexy strut and his sports jacket with T-shirt ensemble, Joe Jonas channels his inner Rick Springfield for “BB Good.” Here comes trouble!
Celeb Sightings: Demi Lovato shows up to sing “This Is Me,” then Taylor Swift one-ups her by singing “Should’ve Said No.” We’re surprised this moment didn’t start a boring feud between the two pop starlets.
WTF Moment: The clearly staged scene where the producers hired girls to chase the boys in the streets of Manhattan, as if that couldn’t have just happened on its own literally anywhere they go.


4. Justin Bieber: Never Say Never

What Is It? Flashbacks of Bieber’s early days as a musical prodigy turned Internet sensation lead to the pop icon’s first MSG concert. Also, lots of praying before shows.
Big 3-D Moment: There’s a very cute interruption during which Bieber and producer Ryan Good point at the camera and insist that people not text during the movie. Remember when The Biebs was adorable?
Concert Highlight: All the duets, whether they involve Boyz II Men or Ludacris, bring a bit of a thrill, but the one between Bieber and his mentor Usher (“Somebody to Love”) surely had tween girls feeling a flood of sparkles just like those that announce Usher’s arrival.
Celeb Sightings: Boyz II Men, Miley Cyrus, Ludacris, Jaden Smith, Usher, Drake, Chelsea Handler, and Snoop Dogg all rode the Biebs-wave.
WTF Moment: Justin repeatedly slaps adults in the face and they all go with it, proving that, even at 16, he was kind of a jerk.


5. Katy Perry: Part of Me

What Is It? Concert biopic including interviews with family and friends and documentation of the disintegration of her relationship with Russell Brand. (Remember “Kussell”? Did they even merit a portmanteau?)
Big 3-D Moment: The foam-shooting hose aimed at the audience tops off all the 3-D effects and shows clearly who is in control here: Katy, all the way.
Concert Highlight: While you wouldn’t wish it on anyone, the break-up with Russell Brand does add a nice bit of drama to this candy-colored popumentary, and makes Katy’s “verge of a nervous breakdown” performance in Sao Paolo unforgettable.
Celeb Sightings: Break-up queen Adele, Britney Spears, Carly Rae Jepsen, Jessie J, Justin Bieber, Lady Gaga, Rihanna, Whoopi Goldberg for some reason…
WTF Moment: Those pinwheels on her breasts.


6. Kylie Minogue – Aphrodite: Les Folies Tour

What Is It? An extravagant, high-camp parade of Dolce & Gabbana showgirl costumes (sometimes worn by men) in support of Kylie’s Aphrodite album.
Big 3-D Moments: The “swimming” acrobats mid-air prior to Kylie’s entrance and the spinning aerialist above the jets of water (created by Disneyland technicians) during her finale performance of “Only Lovers.”
Concert Highlight: Kylie singing “Aphrodite” (because you can’t beat her arrival on a golden half-shell) while surrounded by male dancers in peekaboo togas.
Celeb Sighting: Does a winged man representing Icarus and hanging from the ceiling count?
WTF Moment: Your jaw may drop every time Kylie must be escorted down some stairs (even if it’s just three) because her heels are so preposterously high.


7. One Direction: This Is Us

What Is It? Morgan Spurlock’s (yes, the Super Size Me guy) earnest travelogue/92-minute advertisement follows The X Factor‘s Fab Five from London to Tokyo and beyond.
Concert Highlight: Each time you hear “What Makes You Beautiful,” you realize why young girls fill stadiums and devote their lives to this band of slick pretty boys.
Big 3-D Moments: Video game spaceships flying over the audience as well as the bubblegum pink balls which delirious fans keep afloat in Mexico City.
Celeb Sightings: Fans include Martin Scorsese, Chris Rock, and soccer great Cristiano Ronaldo.
WTF Moment: When the fivesome get mobbed in a Nike store in Amsterdam, you realize that their fans may be cannibals and the band is in mortal danger.

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Brock Hard

Brockmire’s Guide To Grabbing Life By The D***

Catch up on the full season of Brockmire now.

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“Lucy, put supper on the stove, my dear, because this ballgame is over!”

Brockmire has officially closed out its rookie season. Miss the finale episode? A handful of episodes? The whole blessed season?? You can see it all from the beginning, starting right here.

And you should get started, because every minute you spend otherwise will be a minute spent not living your best life. That’s right, there are very important life lessons that Brockmire hid in plain sight—lessons that, when applied thoughtfully, can improve every aspect of your awesome existence. Let’s dive into some sage nuggets from what we call the Book of Jim.

Life Should Be Spiked, Not Watered Down.

That’s not just a fancy metaphor. As Brockmire points out, water tastes “awful. 70% of the water is made up of that shit?” Life is short, water sucks, live like you mean it.

There Are Only Three Types of People

“Poor people, rich people and famous people. Rich people are just poor people with money, so the only worthwhile thing is being famous.” So next time your rich friends act all high and mighty, politely remind them that they’re worthless in the eyes of even the most minor celebrities.

There’s Always A Reason To Get Out Of Bed

And 99% of the time that reason is the urge to pee. It’s nature’s way of saying “seize the day.”

There’s More To Life Than Playing Games

“Baseball can’t compete with p0rnography. Nothing can.” Nothing you do or ever will do can be more important to people than p0rn. Get off your high horse.

A Little Empathy Goes A Long Way

Especially if you’ve taken someone else’s Plan B by mistake.

Our Weaknesses Can Be Our Greatest Strengths

Tyrion Lannister said something similar. Hard to tell who said it with more colorful profanity. Wise sentiments all around.

Big Things Come To Those Who Wait

When you’re looking for a sign, the universe will drop you a big one. You’re the sh*t, universe.

And Of Course…

Need more life lessons from the Book of Jim? Catch up on Brockmire on the IFC App.

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Oh Mama

Mommie May I?

Mommie Dearest Is On Repeat All Mothers Day Long On IFC

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The cult-classic movie Mommie Dearest is a game-changer. If you’ve seen it even just once (but come on, who sees it just once?), then you already know what we’re talking about.

But if you haven’t seen it, then let us break it down for you. Really quick, we promise, we’ll even list things out to spare you the reading of a paragraph:

1. It’s the 1981 biopic based on the memoir of Christina Crawford, Hollywood icon Joan Crawford’s adopted daughter.
2. Faye Dunaway plays Joan. And boy does she play her. Loud and over-reactive.
3. It was intended as a drama, but…
4. Waaaaaay over-the-top performances and bargain-basement dialogue rendered it an accidental comedy.
5. It’s a cult classic, and you’re the last person to see it.

Not sold? Don’t believe it’s going to change your life? Ok, maybe over-the-top acting isn’t your thing, or perhaps you don’t like the lingering electricity of a good primal scream, or Joan Crawford is your personal icon and you can’t bear to see her cast in such a creepy light.

But none of that matters.

What’s important is that seeing this movie gives you permission to react to minor repeat annoyances with unrestrained histrionics.

That there is a key moment. Is she crazy? Yeah. But she’s also right. Shoulder nipples are horrible, wire hangers are the worst, and yelling about it feels strangely justified. She did it, we can do it. Precedent set. You’re welcome.

So what else can we yell about? Channel your inner Joan and consider the following list offenses when choosing your next meltdown.

Improperly Hung Toilet Paper

Misplaced Apostrophes

Coldplay at Karaoke

Dad Jokes

Gluten Free Pizza

James Franco

The list of potential pedestrian grievances is actually quite daunting, but when IFC airs Mommie Dearest non-stop for a full day, you’ll have 24 bonus hours to mull it over. 24 bonus hours to nail that lunatic shriek. 24 bonus hours to remember that, really, your mom is comparatively the best.

So please, celebrate Mother’s Day with Mommie Dearest on IFC and at IFC.com. And for the love of god—NO WIRE HANGERS EVER.

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Breaking News

From Canada With Love

Baroness von Sketch Show comes to IFC.

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Breaking news that (finally) isn’t apocalyptic!

IFC announced today that it acquired acclaimed Canadian comedy series Baroness von Sketch Show, slated to make its US of A premiere this summer. And yes, it’s important to note that it’s a Canadian sketch comedy series, because Canada is currently a shining beacon of civilization in the western hemisphere, and Baroness von Sketch Show reflects that light in every way possible.

The series is fronted entirely by women, which isn’t unusual in the sketch comedy world but is quite rare in the televised sketch comedy world. Punchy, smart, and provocative, each episode of Baroness von Sketch Show touches upon outrageous-yet-relatable real world subjects in ways both unexpected and deeply satisfying: soccer moms, awkward office birthday parties, being over 40 in a gym locker room…dry shampoo…

Indiewire called it “The Best Comedy You’ve Never Seen” and The National Post said that it’s “the funniest thing on Canadian television since Kids In The Hall.” And that’s saying a lot, because Canadians are goddamn hilarious.

Get a good taste of BVSS in the following sketch, which envisions a future Global Summit run entirely by women. It’s a future we’re personally ready for.

Baroness Von Sketch Show premieres later this summer on IFC.

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