DID YOU READ

10 of Joel McHale’s ‘Classic Wingers’ From Community

Jeff Winger

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Jeff Winger is a mentor. A life coach. No, a sage. He’s full of sound wisdom and isn’t afraid to share it with those in need…no matter the cost it might inflict on his pupil’s, shall we say, ego. As he admits in one of his “classic Wingers,” he’s “an exceptional¬†narcissistic.”

It’s often difficult to separate Joel McHale from his Community counterpart; Winger seems born from the depths of the comedian’s subconscious. But we’re going to have to in the coming week, since McHale is guesting on Comedy Bang! Bang!¬†this Friday. We’re sure he’ll make his performance his own, but we’re also positive some of his Winger-isms will leak out of the woodworks.

In anticipation of McHale’s guesting on the show this Friday at 11 pm EST, here are some of his best quotes, pieces of advice and classic zingers, er, “wingers.”

1. “What’s the complex called when you’re wrong about everything?”

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Winger knows everything about everything. That’s why his ego is so big. But in-depth knowledge of the world’s inner workings comes at a price. Everyone else is so inferior that it seems like a mental complex.


2. “For your information, I don’t have an ego. My Facebook photo is a landscape.”

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Oops! We were wrong — Jeff Winger does not have an ego. Why would you even suggest something so heinous? That’s crazy! After all, just look at his Facebook profile. You can tell a lot about a man from his Facebook page. Like, for instance, that he takes a great deal of pride in his perfectly framed landscape photo.


3. “With all due respect…which is none…go to hell!”

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What’s great about Winger is his musical sensibilities. His words have their own unique sounds. His longer phrasing is poignant and well thought out, but sometimes the occasion calls for something sharp, quick and concise. Like whenever he’s talking to Pierce, for instance.


4. “You’re going to have to come back later. I’m trying to prove a point.”

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Winger is the master of getting rid of people quickly. If you ever need to pull off the same feat without explaining yourself, think of Winger. Though, in this particular instance, he’s probably bedazzling everyone within a five-foot radius with his fierce eyelashes.


5. “Wrong! WROOONG!”

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One word. It rhymes with schlong, and it’s what you always are. But as Winger demonstrates, it’s not about the product in this case. It’s about how you sell it.


6. “Is there a pill that makes the word ‘no’ clearer?”

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If the person you’re talking to is basic, sometimes “no” isn’t enough. You have to strip them of all their dignity, resolve and sense of self in 10 words or less. How does one accomplish this? It’s an art form that can’t be taught to everyone.


7. “I am so amazing. But I’m not perfect.

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For as incredible as Winger is, he’s not perfect. I mean, as far as we’re concerned, he can walk on water. That doesn’t mean the pressure doesn’t get to the man who’s given the world so much sass. It’s not easy being the divine conduit through which the world gets its steady stream of insults.


8. “Oh hey, is that a reason to leave?”

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Biggest life lesson from Winger: become so adept at the spoken word that you can manipulate those around you. Need them to turn around? It’s all about confidence and determination, mixed with a side of “get the f*ck out of my face.”


9. “Will your reality ever come out on Blu-ray so we can enjoy it?”

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If you’re like Winger, you’re one of the few people out there who sees the world as it truly is: a world where you’re awesome and everyone else is lame. There are those heretics who claim otherwise, and you can do your best to tolerate them. But at the end of the day, their realities will never make it to a Blu-ray release.


10. “It’s called chemistry. I have it with everybody!”

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We expect whatever comes next to sound something like, “I’m sorry everyone is so jealous of me, but I can’t help it that I’m popular.” You either have it or you don’t. If you have to force it, sorry, folks, you’re just not a Winger.

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Thank Azaria

Best. Characters. Ever.

Our favorite Hank Azaria characters.

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GIFs via Giphy

Hank Azaria may well be the most prolific voice and character actor of our time. The work he’s done for The Simpsons alone has earned him a permanent place in the pop culture zeitgeist. And now he’s bringing another character to the mainstream: a washed-up sports announcer named Jim Brockmire, in the aptly titled new series Brockmire.

We’re looking forward to it. So much so that we want to look backward, too, with a short-but-sweet retrospective of some of Azaria’s important characters. Shall we begin?

Half The Recurring Simpsons Characters

He’s Comic Book Guy. He’s Chief Wiggum. He’s Apu. He’s Cletus. He’s Snake. He’s Superintendent Chalmers. He’s the Sea Captain. He’s Kurt “Can I Borrow A Feeling” Van Houten. He’s Professor Frink. He’s Carl. And he’s many more. But most importantly he’s Moe Szyslak, the staple character Azaria has voiced since his very first audition for The Simpsons.

Oh, and He’s Frank Grimes

For all the regular Simpsons characters Azaria has played over the years, his most brilliant performance may have been a one-off: Frank Grimes, the scrappy bootstrapper who worked tirelessly all his life for honest, incremental, and easily-undermined success. Azaria’s portrayal of this character was nuanced, emotional, and simply magical.

Patches O’Houlihan

Dodgeball is a “sport of violence, exclusion and degradation.” as Hank Azaria generously points out in his brief but crucial cameo in Dodgeball. That’s sage wisdom. Try applying his “five D’s” to your life on and off the court and enjoy the results.

Harold Zoid

Of Futurama fame. The crazy uncle of Dr. Zoidberg, Harold Zoid was once a lion (or lobster) of the silver screen until Smell-o-vision forced him into retirement.

Agador

The Birdcage was significant for many reasons, and the comic genius of Hank Azaria’s character “Agador” sits somewhere towards the top of that list. If you haven’t seen this movie, shame on you.

Gargamel

Nobody else could make a live-action Gargamel possible.

Ed Cochran

From Ray Donovan. Great character, great last name [editorial note: the author of this article may be bias].

Kahmunra, The Thinker, Abe Lincoln

All in the Night At The Museum: Battle Of The Smithsonian, a file that let Azaria flex his voice acting and live-action muscles in one fell swoop.

The Blue Raja

Mystery Men has everything, including a fatal case of Smash Mouth. Azaria’s iconic superhero makes the shortlist of redeemable qualities, though.

Dr. Huff

Huff put Azaria in a leading role, and it was good. So good that there is no good gif of it. Internet? More like Inter-not.

Learn more about Hank Azaria’s newest claim to fame right here, and don’t miss the premiere of Brockmire April 5 at 10P on IFC.

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Flame Out

Brockmire and Other Public Implosions

Brockmire Premieres April 5 at 10P on IFC.

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There’s less than a month until the Brockmire premiere, and to say we’re excited would be an insulting understatement. It’s not just that it stars Hank Azaria, who can do no wrong (and yes, that’s including Mystery Men, which is only cringeworthy because of Smash Mouth). It’s that the whole backstory of the titular character, Jim Brockmire, is the stuff of legends. A one-time iconic sportscaster who won the hearts of fans and players alike, he fell from grace after an unfortunate personal event triggered a seriously public meltdown. See for yourself in the NSFW Funny or Die digital short that spawned the IFC series:

See? NSFW and spectacularly catastrophic in a way that could almost be real. Which got us thinking: What are some real-life sports fails that have nothing to do with botched athletics and everything to do with going tragically off script? The internet is a dark and dirty place, friends, but these three examples are pretty special and mostly safe for work…

Disgruntled Sports Reporter

His co-anchor went offsides and he called it like he saw it.

Jim Rome vs Jim “Not Chris” Everett

You just don’t heckle a professional athlete when you’re within striking distance. Common sense.

Carl Lewis’s National Anthem

He killed it! As in murdered. It’s dead.

To see more moments just like these, we recommend spending a day in your pajamas combing through the muckiness of the internet. But to see something that’s Brockmire-level funny without having to clear your browser history, check out the sneak peeks and extras here.

Don’t miss the premiere of Brockmire April 5 at 10P on IFC.

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Mirror, Mirror

Portlandia Season 7 In Hindsight

Portlandia Season 7 Now Available Online and on the IFC App.

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Another season of Portlandia is behind us, and oh what a season it was. We laughed. We cried. And we chuckled uncomfortably while glancing nervously around the room. Like every season before it, the latest Portlandia has held a mirror up to ridiculousness of modern American life, but more than ever that same mirror has reflected our social reality in ways that are at once hysterical and sneakily thought-provoking. Here are just a few of the issues they tackled:

Nationalism

So long, America, Portland is out! And yes, the idea of Portland seceding is still less ludicrous than building a wall.

Men’s Rights

We all saw this coming. Exit gracefully, dudes.

Protests

Whatever you stand for, stand for it together. Or with at least one other person.

Free Love

No matter who we are or how we love, deep down we all have the ability to get stalky.

Social Status

Modern self-esteem basically hinges on likes, so this isn’t really a stretch at all.

These moments are just the tip of the iceberg, and much more can be found in the full seventh season of #Portlandia, available right now #online and on the #IFC app.

via GIPHY

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