NEWS FLASH: John Edwards is NOT Britney Spears, Lindsay Lohan or Paris Hilton

Friday, July 25, 2008 | 11:02 AM

By William Rabbe

Thank goodness we have the The National Enquirer to keep our former public officials in check.

The rumor mill had been churning with this story for quite some time, but the National Enquirer has come out with their most definitive "expose" on John Edwards, his mistress and his "love child."

After having grossly invaded the former candidate's privacy, the Enquirer's "investigator" claims John Edwards secretly visited his mistress Rielle Hunter at a hotel. She was allegedly with their child, and Edwards stayed for several hours.

You may not have heard about this because it hasn't been widely reported. So, many are wondering: why does John Edwards get a pass when Sen. Larry Craig was publicly flogged for his sex scandal? The hypocrisy! Not fair! [Exclamatory sarcasm à la Tom Wolfe].

But really, why?

Probably because no legitimate journalist wants to dignify the Enquirer's attempt at "journalism" with a follow up story. Whereas Craig's scandal was revealed because he had actually been arrested for a crime and was a sitting Senator at the time, this became public as a result of a paparazzi-like "investigation" that was much less about revealing hypocrisy in Government than it was to make a sensation.

I mean, just look at their headline: "SEN. JOHN EDWARDS CAUGHT WITH MISTRESS AND LOVE CHILD!" [emphasis added] Oooo! Caught!

Embarrassingly, they even chased him into a restroom:

Shocked to see a reporter, and without saying anything, Edwards ran up the stairs leading from the hotel basement to the lobby. But, spotting a photographer, he doubled back into the basement. As he emerged from the stairwell, reporter [name deleted so as not to afford this "investigator" undue PR] questioned him about his hookup with Rielle. Edwards did not answer and then ran into a nearby restroom. He stayed inside for about 15 minutes, refusing to answer questions from the NATIONAL ENQUIRER about what he was doing in the hotel. A group of hotel security men eventually escorted him from the men's room, while preventing the NATIONAL ENQUIRER reporters from following him out of the hotel.

You can imagine it was a rather humiliating ordeal. While I am not defending John Edwards' behavior (if true) those from the Enquirer who were in hot pursuit of confronting Edwards at 2 AM should feel equally humiliated for the great legnths they have gone for such a frivolous story.

Maybe we should examine the literal meaning of the word paparazzi -- "buzzing insects." Please go back to chasing Britney Spears...