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Summer Preview, Many Thanks, and Aloha, Mr. Hand!

2008-05-30T14:32:27Z

Summer is typically a pretty solid time for books, music and movies. Here are some I'm looking forward to, regardless of quality.

Movies:

The Dark Knight: Christopher Nolan's first crack at Batman was so strong, I'm kinda dying to see
how he's going to up the ante. Plus, how could you not want to see the late, great Heath
Ledger's final performance?

Hancock: Maybe the trailer is just superb, but Will Smith really picks his material well. This superhero as anti-hero popcorn flick looks to be more original than 99% of summer flicks, and it also stars the exceedingly talented Charlize Theron and Jason Bateman.

Step Brothers:This foul mouthed Will Ferrell -John C Reilly comedy, again about two overgrown man-children, made me laugh out loud, which is saying something.

Books:

The Monster of Florence by Douglas J. Preston, Mario Spezi

This true crime thriller sounds pretty amazing. Douglas Preston and his family moved to Florence, Italy in 2000 to live the good life and provide a great atmosphere in which he could write. Soon, Preston finds out that a grotesque, notorious murder was actually committed years ago on his new property. He teams up with Spezi, solves the decades old crime, and finds himself suddenly under suspicion for perjury and Spezi accused of the crimes themselves.

Ghost: Confessions of a Counterterrorism Agent by Fred Burton

From the Barnes and Noble overview:

For decades, Fred Burton, a key figure in international counterterrorism and domestic spycraft, has secretly been on the front lines in the fight to keep Americans safe around the world. From battling Libyan terrorists and their Palestinian surrogates to having facing down hijackers, hostages, and Hezbollah double agents, Burton found himself on the front lines of America's first campaign against Terror.

Music:

Weezer - The Red Album:
Rivers Cuomo returns with a new batch of clever, hummable pop. The first single, Pork and Beans, is typical Weezer, and that's a good thing.

Judas Priest - Nostradamus:
C'mon, a double album from the Priest all about the famous French seer and his prophecies? How metal is that? If first single Visions and the operatic title track are any indication, it's going to be simultaneously brilliant and amusing.

Miley Cyrus - Breakout:
Miley kicks out the serious jams in this breathtaking...oh, never mind.

Patti Smith - The Coral Sea:
Live album, which could be iffy, but almost everything Ms. Smith does is golden in my book.

It's pretty amazing how quickly the month has flown by. I feel as if I just started to scratch
the surface and, alas, it's over. I'd like to thank Raquel Bruno, Elektra Gray, Jessie Carter,
Melianthe Kines and Kent Rees for their invaluable assistance while I toiled away on this
glorious labor of love. Have a great summer, everyone!

Door Blockers and Subway Sprinters: An Observation

2008-05-29T17:39:17Z

I live in Manhattan and take the subway practically everyday. Over the past year or two, as subway ridership has reached record levels, I have noticed a pattern of behavior among a certain group of fellow strap hangers (OK, the strap is long gone, but the cool nickname remains) that is typical of Type A New Yorkers. I'm sure other people have noticed this behavior as well, but I haven't seen it discussed in any detail.

I'm talking, of course, about Door Blocking and Subway Sprinting. Let's begin with the more common affliction, Door Blocking. You are a commuter, and you go to work every morning taking the NRW trains from 49th street to, say, 23rd street, a short but rather common trip. Since you do it every day, you know to get on the last door of the second car in order to be EXACTLY in front of the turnstile exit, and thus get out of the Subway first, before the crush of the other, slower people leaving the train.

The problem is that other Type A commuters have figured out the same thing, so at any given moment (usually between the 34th and 28th street stations, in my case) there begins to be a small group of people hovering around and/or outright blocking the doors in order to obtain Position. I have actually had people wedge into a tight 4-inch space between myself and the door in order to obtain this crucial strategic linchpin.

]]> Obtaining Position is critical for the ultimate type A Manhattanite, the Subway Sprinter. This is the person who, after a successful Door Block, zips through the turnstile and sprints, as if his (or her) life depends on it, up the station steps to the street with the ultimate goal of being FIRST.

How do I know that this bizarre behavior exists? Because, shocking as it may seem, I myself am both Door Blocker and Subway Sprinter par excellence. And, in the course of my travels I have encountered many of my own ilk, hyper-competitive people (usually, but not limited to, males) who have transformed a mundane, extra dull commute into a quasi-sporting event. I am also ashamed to admit that the last time I wasn't first out of the 23rd street station was sometime in mid-March. The hilarious thing is that, without saying a word, we Blockers and Sprinters recognize each other, oftentimes grudgingly nodding in some form of mute, perverse respect. Occasionally, there are even rivalries, like the one I currently have with Suitcase Man.

I do not know Suitcase Man's name (nor, for that matter, do I want to), but I see him occasionally, usually around 9:45 in the morning, always carrying a briefcase so large it resembles a suitcase (hence his nomenclature). When he sees me, we exchange silent glances that mimic, almost exactly, the poisonous relationship between Jerry Seinfeld and Newman so brilliantly depicted for years on that epic sitcom. I know Suitcase Man's moves like the back of my hand (he's merely a Blocker, not a Sprinter), and, like Moriarty to my Holmes, he knows mine.

The one move he has been unable to counter, however, is a deceptively simple tactic known as the One Door Down (or ODD). In this move, you enter the train one door down from the door you actually want. Then, when the train pulls into the station before the one you want , you slide up to the coveted door, entering the train like any other passenger (of course, the doors must open on the same side of the train for this to work). If there are Door Blockers at your door (and there almost always are), they will be forced to let passengers enter, expecting you to move around them and further into the subway car. This is where your skill and cunning are essential, as you must seem as if you are going to barge into the train and, suddenly changing speeds, instead slide into the Position spot they have stepped back from in order to let you board. Wham! You've been ODD'd, sucker.

There is, without question, a slim chance that I might be imagining the whole thing, that none of this is actually happening and it's all a part of my overloaded, fevered brain. So, the next time you see me on the subway, smile and say hello. As I bolt up the steps, three at a time, seeking daylight, I'll be sure to wave back.

Jason Statham: Getting Better All the Time

2008-05-28T19:15:35Z

Ten years ago, when I saw Lock Stock and Two Smoking Barrels, I was impressed with an unknown actor named Jason Statham. He seemed raw, yet had an undeniable charm and, yes, that indefinable quality, charisma. He displayed it again in his next Guy Ritchie film, Snatch, playing Turkish, the sketchy boxing promoter who gets pulled into the criminal underworld.

Soon, I began to see commercials for something called The Transporter, and there, again, was Statham. Not being much of an action film buff, I passed. As I flipped through the cable channels a few years later, the Italian Job remake was on, and I noticed Statham again, this time playing a character called Handsome Rob. I changed the channel, and bingo, more Statham, this time in a small part in Collateral. Two channels later, a commercial for a film called Crank, starring, of course, Statham. Wow, I thought, this guy is working like mad.

Well, two months ago, my wife and I went to see The Bank Job, a pretty entertaining heist film well directed by the crafty vet Roger Donaldson, and I was struck, as I watched Statham portray Terry Leather, with a strong sense of deja vu. Who did he remind me of? The answer seemed so obvious, and yet I couldn't place it. Then, during one of his closeups, as he stood there, perfectly still, his character listening intently yet seemingly perfectly relaxed, it hit me.

Jason Statham is rapidly becoming the British version of Steve McQueen. Maybe he's not fully there yet, but he's well on his way.

]]> Growing up, I loved McQueen because he seemed to embody all the traits necessary to be a true leading man:

1) Don't say too much. Let the audience project onto your character whatever they choose, allowing you to be everything to everybody.

2) Kick ass convincingly. Don't seem gun shy or afraid of violence.

3) Never be too impressed by a beautiful woman. Of course, Bogart was the master of this, often treating knockouts with open contempt.

4) Never become as evil as the enemy you're fighting, or you'll lose your soul (and the audience).

And perhaps the most important rule of all, the hallowed Rule Five:

5) Never, ever pose. Not for a second. Posing is, well, for poseurs.

Intrigued, I went back and rented a number of Statham's films that I had skipped. Some were fun, lightweight popcorn fare (Crank), some were ultra slick action thrillers (War), some were simply not very good (in the interest of my career, I will refrain from naming them). Yet in each film, you could clearly see Statham learning his craft and improving in subtle yet noticeable ways. In Transporter 2, he lets the camera come to him, rather than projecting outwardly, as he did in the original; in Revolver, he changes his appearance and demeanor; and in War, he stops trying to impress with his fighting skills and, instead, fights (see Rule Five).

Statham, it can be argued, is dangerously close to mastering all five of the LMRs (Leading Man Rules) and is close to adding a sixth: Don't be afraid to (on occasion) express vulnerability, and, yes, even warmth. His character in The Bank Job is both tough guy and family man, a difficult balancing act for anybody, and he pulls it off easily.

The major studios are taking notice of Statham, too. He has roles in three current franchises (The Transporter films, the upcoming The Brazilian Job, and the sequel to Crank), and Tom Cruise's company is putting him in the remake of Death Race 2000 (simply called Death Race). Depending on his (and management's) next few choices, the studio push, the audience's embrace, and, of course, luck, Statham is poised to become either the next Steve McQueen...or simply Chuck Norris.

If I had to bet, though, I'd bet on the former.

I Hope You Had a Happy Memorial Day.

2008-05-28T18:53:55Z

Memorial Day weekend, time for barbecues, parties, sales, (which means lots of shopping), and perhaps getting drunk and abusing a loved one.... it happens. And this is to commemorate what?

Many years ago I was driving up a road in the Ventura hills, it was Memorial Day. The sun had just set to reveal a gigantic moon.

]]> I was immediately overtaken by the image of unmarked graves, the kind you see in military cemeteries, row after row after row, all bathed in the light of that giant moon that was now following me as I drove. I saw ghosts emerging from those graves, beautiful men, all looking too young to be dead, all silver grey from the the light of the moon. Everything in the vision was silver grey; everything in the vision was dead.

I hope you had a Happy Memorial Day.

23:THE BLOG

2008-05-28T14:27:50Z

Alexander,
Allard,
Barrasso,
Bennett,
Brownback,
Bunning,
Burr,
Cochran,
Corker,
Cornyn,
DeMint,
Ensign,
Enzi,
Graham,
Grassley,
Gregg,
Hatch,
Kyl,
Lugar,
McConnell,
Sessions,
Voinovich.

Do you recognize those 22 names? What do those people have in common? I would venture to guess they all wear American Flag Lapel pins. It would be pretty safe to assume they have "SUPPORT OUR TROOPS" yellow ribbon bumper stickers on their SUV's. It would be a safe bet to think they have each used the phrase, "we are living in a post 9/11 world", to justify the illegal wiretaps or suspension of Habeas Corpus or use of torture or maybe even an unjustified, fear-based, pre-emptive war and occupation.

]]> Well, here is something else they all have in common; they are current Senators who voted AGAINST the Post 9/11Veterans Educational Assistance Act.* That's right, they voted against Jim Webb's (D-VA) Bill that would amend the outdated GI Bill to be more in line with the sacrifice today's veterans are forced to make. We are talking about young men and women who have been sent back to Iraq and Afghanistan for 2, 3, even 4 tours of duty with limited time between deployments.

The good news is that this bill did pass in the senate by a veto proof margin (SURPRISE!! Bush threatened to veto it). 75 Senators voted for this bill, across party lines. So, you must assume that since you didn't see John McCain's name on the list AGAINST this bill that he voted for it. Well, you'd be wrong. Three Senators did not vote on this bill, yea or nay, 3 out of 100: Coburn, (who I believe was at a funeral), Ted Kennedy, (we know why he couldn't make the vote) and, yes, John McCain. John McCain did not vote for a bill that would help young, brave Americans get further education after returning from several tours of duty in Iraq and/or Afghanistan, who have been "stop gapped" at an unprecedented rate, who face a troubled job market, house foreclosures, high gas prices and horribly lacking VA support. So remember those 22 names who voted against this bill plus the name of the "no vote", 23 names of those who did not support a bill to further education benefits for our war veterans in this "post 9/11 world".

*cost of this bill is estimated at 2 billion a year (WOW! that's a lot of money) = 1 week in Iraq

RocknRoll Dysfunction or I was Elvis Ramone

2008-05-28T14:19:08Z

It seems as though some great myth was created by the film A Hard Day's Night, it being that all RocknRoll bands were just one big happy family. I'm here to tell you that being in a band is like being a part of a dysfunctional family.

I spent a short time in The Ramones and there were problems in that family. The guitar player didn't speak to the singer and the bass guitarist sat in the back of the van getting stoned all the time. Of course The Ramones are our generation's Beatles, they also have a film. It's called "The End of the Century". It kind of bookends the whole myth thing for me. RIP Johnny, Joey, Dee Dee. Spinal Tap in reverse, the band had four drummers, all alive and well.

If you haven't seen the films, "Still Crazy" and "Stardust" I'd highly recommend them for further
insight into this wacky world. Paul Simon in "OneTrick Pony" is pretty good too, and then there's "Cisco Pike" starring Kris Kristofferson and Harry Dean Stanton. Let's not forget "The Rose" with Kris
and Barbara and of course there's "Beyond the Valley of the Dolls", the ultimate RocknRoll trashy movie.
Classics all!

The Chef Boy Ar Dee Incident

2008-05-27T19:11:31Z

In order to make sense of this story, you need to know a few things.

First of all, my wife likes to shop for shoes. Often. Usually she exercises restraint, but every now and then, given the time, money and inclination, she can make Imelda Marcos seem like a rank amateur. So, when I happened to have a little cash lying around - maybe a couple hundred bucks - I would slip it in an envelope and put it in the cutlery drawer, just in case she or I needed a few dollars.

Soon, however, I began to notice that the money was disappearing more quickly than usual, and the number of shoes belonging to my spouse began to increase exponentially. Realizing that drastic action was necessary, I took whatever cash was remaining from my pilfered funds and began to store it in a single white sock in my sock drawer. This seemed to ameliorate what was threatening to become a precarious situation.

On to the second item, which will initially seem to be unrelated, but will eventually become quite crucial to our story. I often stay at my sister's house on Eastern Long Island, sometimes without my wife, who remains in Manhattan studying for her business school finals. One weekend, while I was buying lunch at the local deli, my eyes fixed upon a warmly familiar object: a can of Chef Boy Ar Dee Overstuffed Ravioli. Although some people find canned ravioli repellent, I, on the other hand, experience it as edible nostalgia. Without hesitation, I bought a can.

Which brings us to the final piece of crucial information: my wife, quite rightly, tries to improve my diet, and will sometimes question my caloric decisions. So, after being unable to find the time to consume the ravioli, I returned home from Long Island with the contraband pasta packed discreetly in my carry on bag. The question, then, was where to hide it from the disapproving eyes of my spouse until I could find a quiet moment in which to devour it. Since my cash supply had showed indications of stability, I chose what I felt was clearly the safest place: namely, the sock drawer.

]]> Little did I know, however, that my wife's shoe cravings had reached a fever pitch, and the very next day, she began to search - subtly at first, then with increased agitation - the entire apartment, zeroing in with uncanny accuracy upon the sock drawer. It was there that she discovered, to her complete bewilderment, a can of ravioli. Since I had already left for work, she made a mental note to quiz me about this bizarre development, went off to school, and promptly forgot about it. The very next day, not having to work, I fired up the entire can and ate it heartily, being careful to stash the remaining evidence securely in the trash.. A few hours later, my wife returned home, and suddenly recalling her discovery, questioned me. The conversation went something like this:

Wife: Honey, why is there a can of ravioli in the sock drawer?

Me: Excuse me?

Wife: There is a can of Chef Boy Ar Dee Overstuffed Ravioli in the sock drawer!

Me: (feigning ignorance) What in God's name are you talking about?

Wife: Look! (She opens drawer, finds nothing) It was right here! I swear!

Me: Seriously, honey, are you feeling ok?

Wife: I swear to God, it was there! I even tried to unscrew it!

Me: (baffled) What, the can? Why did you do that?

Wife: Because I thought it was one of those fake cans, y'know, that you can hide things in!

Me: Like you get from a novelty store?

Wife: Exactly!

Me: But what did you think I was hiding?

Wife: The money I wanted to BUY SHOES!

Me: AHA!!! Now we're getting somewhere!

(The two of us are now laughing so hard that we're crying)

Wife: So what happened to the ravioli?

Me: What ravioli would that be?

Wife: Honey!!!

Me: I ate it, OK!??? I ate it all up,every last bit, mmm, yummy, yummy ravioli!! Woo Hoo!

This is now referred to as the Chef Boy Ar Dee Incident, and most of our close friends are aware of it. I initially wrote this post thinking that this story would shed light on relationships, communication between spouses, and the secrets that we hide from our loved ones, but now that I've written it, what it truly demonstrates is this:

Chef Boy Ar Dee - still rock solid after all these years!

MAKE LOVE NOT WAR

2008-05-22T20:50:20Z

EVAN

Why do we find it ok to create movies, television, and video games about killing and the glorification of gratuitous violence? From war movies, to unlikely duos, from police stories on TV, to dramas, mysteries, and horror movies, etc. It seems we are a society obsessed with violence and killing. A question I would love to pose is,"how many of the people who watch this programming will actually kill someone in their lifetime? We portray murder, revenge actual wars, westerns, gangster movies, and the list goes on. Do you think even 1% of the viewers will ever kill someone? Either way, too much violence in our media goes virtually unpunished. Kids watch R rated movies all day with virtual acceptance by parents and all of America. What are we thinking? Good thing that boy is watching that (violent) program, hopefully he will grow up and kill some people just like what he is seeing on the big and little screen. And above all, let's make sure he is not tainted by seeing a breast or a nipple. Give him anything he wants, just make sure he does not get turned on, or even informed. It seems to me that we have kinda gotten it twisted somehow. Ya'think?

]]> I mean, what about sex? The biggest taboo in America is the oddly the most natural and the closest to us. Did anyone ever stop to think that for every person you see, whether on the subway, at the baseball stadium, or at an amusement park, 2 people got naked and had sex? What a ludicrious concept. Let us shelter the world from something that eventually almost ALL of us will experience, again and again, SEX, and glorify something that very very few ever experience, Murder.

It seems our society is schizophrenic since we are teaching children shame over not only the human body, maybe God's greatest gift to man, but excitement and glory for death, destruction and killing. I am not saying that the movies, tv and film of today should be censored in any way. But how bizarre to try and shelter people, men, women, and children from not only who they are, but to send a message to our young people of shame around our primary function on reproduction and the expression of human sexuality.

Now once again, I am not some proponent of pushing anything on your young people, but the internet puts it all at our fingertips, and when young teens are sheltered from what is really out there, they go searching, and what they may find may be so distorted, that our level of shunting and denial can certainly be counter-productive. When a curious teen is so sex starved to see boobs that he is on the web and he actually stumbles upon hardcore adult content that was actually created more for shock or entertainment value, how can he discern what is and what is not healthy sexuality? I don't necessesarily have the answers, but the questions are apparent. Maybe the Europeans and the rest of the world who are less shameful about the human body have something there. Maybe our puritanical society needs to just lighten the fuck up. Maybe our country needs a great big lap dance. Shit, in that case, maybe my wife and I should be running mates on a ticket for the "party" party!

TERA

People need to just get over it. Although I do believe that diversity makes us all special and individuals, I also agree with Bill Maher when he talks about our governments stance on Obscenity. About how the in the serviceman's letter to Bush, he states that he will fight and die for your right to have your own opinion, but most of us aren't trying to make our opinions into the law. We all should have the right to think, feel and ingest what we want, until it affects others. I mean it amazes me that in this day and age, with all we have finally accomplished in everything from technology and communication to civil rights and attempts at peacefully co-existing, that those in power are still trying to make their opinions and hang ups into legistlature. There are 6 foot rules in many states where "dancers" can not come within 6 feet of their clients. We can however sashe right down to Wal-Mart and pick up a shotgun with no background check.

Several of my peers have been brought up on obscenity charges over the years. A McCarthy-ism witch hunt for the most part where the right wing corporate America appearance happy madmen offer our politicians to send their kids to college and support their campaigns if they will take the attention away from tobacco, guns, pharmacutecals, and the needs of our farmers and educators, hungry and homeless to spend our tax dollars on a task force to enforce their opinions on what is and what is not obscene. I am amazed that in this day and age, people can be put on trial, fined and even jailed because of someone else's opinion as to what is obscene.

Recently, I posed for a very edgy mainstream magazine and my photo was pulled from the centerfold because they felt it was too racy...not nude not sexual...just too hot for television, now while I did not agree with the publisher, it is her magazine and her right to publish what she wants. But when the government tries and does make their opinions and the opinions of the religious right who funds their war against whatever, into the Law, I have to pinch myself and make sure that this is the USA in 2008 and not Germany in the late 30's.

Well, I am off in my smart car to go pick up some holistic dog food and take chopper, bandit and mister big time to the park. We are launching a new burlesque show in Vegas in a month and I have dance practice tonight..maybe I will get pulled off the stage for having my boobs too big by the the anti-obscenity task force that our tax dollars are paying for.... No wonder I don't watch the news, because there is no good news at all.

I would do a striptease on the White House lawn as a peace protest, but I don't think anyone would get it... well if Bill Clinton was still in office, I might have gotten invited in. Although I have a lot of political opinions, I am much more interested in issues that I am passionate about. I am working very closely with a breast cancer charity called B.A.B.E, breast awareness benefits everyone. Check out www.babefoundation.org. Issues that matter, not whether or not someone is masturbating. When the government figures out how to tax masturbation, porn will be a welcome industry in this country. I'm going to get my nails done tonight too and then watch Curb Your Enthusiasm on dvd. Later...

Wow, That's Just So Random...

2008-05-22T20:36:35Z

Sitting here in front of the computer, still reeling from the pulse pounding American Idol finish last night (totally, deeply kidding), I am mildly surprised. For the first time in nearly three weeks, I don't feel a pressing need to write about one specific topic. I'm not in the mood to be introspective, deep, or even vaguely thoughtful. Instead, I would rather talk about a bunch of random stuff, the mental bric-a-brac that tumbles through my head without warning and, more often than not, reason. So, in no particular order:

White Beer: I'm not much of a beer drinker, and I've never liked dark beer (like Guinness, for example - blech), but my friend hipped me to Hoegaarden, the Belgian white beer with hints of coriander and Curacao orange peel, and I'm totally hooked. Another excellent brand is Hitachino White Ale, a Japanese white beer that's expensive but really delicious.

]]> "Rickrolling": Although this is incredibly stupid, it still cracks me up. Rickrolling is a prank where unsuspecting people, prompted by "friends", click on a link expecting one thing, and instead are directed to the Youtube video of 80's sensation Rick Astley singing "Never Gonna Give You Up", much to the Rickrollee's dismay. Kills me every time.

Cloverfield: Some people got motion sickness from this film on the big screen, but I really enjoyed it. America's answer to the great Godzilla movies of yore, this J.J. Abrams produced thriller even delivers on DVD. Terrific effects, better than average performances and an eerie ending make this pic a winner.

Japanese Flashmobs: My current favorite internet clip is the 100 Person Flashmob, a brilliant piece of prankery that is simultaneously harmless, terrifying and hilarious. If you haven't seen it, here's the link. Watch it and try not to smile.

Amazon Kindle: It's not perfect, but this genius e-book reader from Amazon has no back lit screen (therefore no eyestrain), a solid Internet browser, and the ability to download books wirelessly to the device (some of them for free) within seconds. Whenever I show this gadget to book-loving newbies, their eyes bug out of their head, and they lose their cotton pickin' minds. Holds well over a hundred books and is worth every penny.

The Gap Cycle: Stephen R. Donaldson's masterpiece is a five part, Uber-nerd triumph. Based on Wagner's The Ring, this most gripping of space operas features an incredibly labyrinthine plot, memorable characters and multiple twists to keep you reading all summer long.

Magic Mushrooms: Mellower than acid, this mind-bending hallucinogen conjures life-altering visions of... OK, I was just checking to see if you were paying attention.

Keith Jarrett: Speaking of mellow, try slipping on Jarrett's classic Koln concert this weekend, and see if the best-selling piano improvisation record of all time still stands the test of time. If you love cascading washes of aural bliss, I'm betting the answer is yes.

That's pretty much it for now. Have a tremendous weekend!

KILL! KILL! KILL! Now, THAT'S funny.

2008-05-22T20:24:20Z

On a recent radio show hosted by conservative Bill Bennett, Joe Lieberman chuckled with glee at the idea put forth by Bennett that Hillary would bomb Iran. "It does have an appeal to it" he added through his Fudd-like chortle. Mike Huckabee at an NRA meeting "joked" that a noise back stage was Obama hitting the ground after someone pointed a gun at him. When Huckabee was forced to apologize for his dangerously stupid adlib, he inadvertently gave us a further peek into his dark, twisted soul. He said many politicians get caught making jokes that they may have to back track from later, citing John McCain's BOMB BOMB BOMB IRAN ditty.

Here's the kicker, Huckabee then added, "I thought that was funny". How does it happen that an ordained Baptist minister, former Presidential candidate can laugh about bombing another country? (I still can't find the rationale for him even speaking at NRA meeting. I am not sure Jesus would be behind repealing the ASSAULT WEAPONS ban.) So here we have three prominent politicians, all three with aspirations to be Commander in Chief, two of whom wear their religion on their sleeves, publicly laughing at the prospect of countless INNOCENT Iranians being killed. Even if it came to the point where we all agreed that action needed to be taken against a foreign country, shouldn't the gravity of the deaths of thousands of civilians force these men to stifle their laughs?

Happy Memorial Day....hmmm

Trapped in Cell Hell

2008-05-22T19:34:11Z

I tremble as I begin to write this - not out of excitement, but out of rage - because even though the topic has been discussed to the point of exhaustion, the problem just seems to be getting exponentially worse. No, I am not talking about bedbugs (although they're pretty horrendous) or the Bush administration, but the plague that threatens to destroy us all as a civilization.

I'm talking about cell phones and the way they are used by - or inflicted upon, depending on your point of view - society at large.

Let's cut to the chase, shall we? Most people use cell phones in an extremely self absorbed, what-do-I-care-I'm-never-going-to-see-your-face-ever-again kind of way. It's all about THEM, without the slightest regard for anyone nearby. It's as if they're in a narcissistic bubble in which only their whims, desires and concerns exist. The level of ego displayed by cell phone braggarts (both male and female) continues to grow and astound.

]]> Witness this simple case, that happened to me last week. My wife and I were in an ice cream store when a woman sat down - I am not exaggerating here - less than three feet away. I could reach over and grab the salt from her table with the slightest of efforts. She then proceeded to call and tell a friend (my God, the poor friend) for twenty minutes the explicit details of her ovaries, mammograms, breast tenderness, you name it - all in a clear, ringing voice that would have made Barack Obama say 'Wow, nice projection!' My wife and I stared at each other in shock, as this 40-something woman continued to spew her shockingly boring yet intimate conversation to any one who cared to listen, as if the gelato shop was her living room instead of a public place.

Cell phone morons come in all shapes and sizes. There's the Blowhard, the Wall Street business guy who screams how crucial he is to the company in your ear while he's sitting behind you on the train. There's the Nervous Nellie, the senior citizen who needs to telephone her son every twenty minutes to give him updates about where she is ('We just passed Yaphank' - great, thanks for sharing!). There's the OhmyGod girl ( 'OhmyGod, you'll never believe what Chanel said last night!' ), who will talk nonstop - listening obviously isn't an option - a mere two seats away the entire three-hour bus trip.

I could rant all day, but you know what I'm talking about - you deal with it every day, too. So let's start with this basic, painful admission - most peoples lives (and believe me, I include myself in this one hundred percent) are SIMPLY NOT INTERESTING. AT ALL.

So the next time you pick up your beloved cell phone to make a quick (or not so quick) call, try these simple things: cover your mouth with your hand (as if you were telling a secret) and talk in a normal tone of voice. If the person on the phone can't hear you, simply repeat it again, only SLIGHTLY louder. Do not, as KISS would have you do, shout it out loud. If you are in an enclosed space with other people, say 'I can't talk, I'll call you back.' I guarantee you, the world will not end abruptly in a fiery cataclysm. And if you're in a coffee shop full of strangers and you get an important call, STEP OUTSIDE.

If we all followed those simple steps, life would be so much nicer, and maybe - just maybe - people would be just a teeny, tiny bit less angry, and wouldn't have to vent in long winded, repetitive blog posts.

I'd love to talk more, but I gotta go do a few errands, pay some bills and beat the crap out of someone. Later!

Hear My Blog

2008-05-21T20:19:43Z

I have been so busy this week. I am currently doing a treasure map tour of los angeles with my band "the shoe". You can look up where we are playing and take a peek at our beautiful treasure map at www.therewasanoldwomanrecords.com . So i just made a song as my "blog" entry. Hope you like it. Next week the promise of words like tinsel.

click here to listen.

All We Are Saying is Give Chirp A Chance

2008-05-21T18:24:28Z

In August of 2006, I received an odd e-mail. It was a short, somewhat rambling message, but the crux of it was that a 23 year old NYU Film Grad named Jonathan Blitstein had written a screenplay entitled Let Them Chirp Awhile and, apparently, was offering me a role in the picture. Inwardly, I groaned, because I had read a cornucopia of screenplays that had been sent to me, either for my opinion or possibly my involvement, and generally they were pretty poor.

As I started to read, however, a smile crept across my face. The script was pretty darn good, and the character of Hart Carlton (the small but juicy role I'd been offered) was so quirky and loathsome, I felt I could do it justice. I e-mailed back the next day that I was in, and we quickly worked out a deal.

Filming proceeded apace in October of '06 ( on 35 mm, which was cool), and I was immediately impressed by Blitstein's self assurance, relaxed manner and calm under pressure. He never cracked, hustled mightily, and even survived burning a hole in his stomach with antibiotics( he was rushed to the hospital, but returned ASAP to continue shooting). Additionally, I was surprised at how open he was to improvisation; often, first time writer-directors treat their own dialogue as if it was straight from the Rosetta Stone. I filmed my part in a quick three days, and went on with my life.

Watch the trailer here.

]]> Flash forward two months, just before Christmas '06, and I am invited to come see a rough cut of the film at Blitstein's apartment (he had edited it by himself, using Final Cut Pro on his laptop in less than a month). As I hurry down to St. Mark's Place, I am filled with trepidation: Will it suck? How good could it conceivably be? Don't expect too much, I tell myself, he's a first-timer, he's bound to have made mistakes and, in all probability, botched it royally.

I should pause here for a moment and issue a bit of a disclaimer: as a working actor, the majority of the films in which I perform are merely jobs. That doesn't mean I don't give 110 percent, it just means that there is a paucity of work of which I am exceedingly proud. I believe, and have been told as much, that my fellow actors generally feel the same way.

After having seen the rough cut (and a few months later,the final,finished version), I can say with total certainty that Let Them Chirp Awhile is one of the better films I have done. A cross between Woody Allen's Manhattan and Swingers, this coming of age film about twenty-somethings wrestling with relationship and creativity issues in the East Village is keenly observant and often hilarious. After every screening I have attended, young people (between 19 and 29) have raved about it, saying things like " This is my life" or "I can't believe how true that movie is", and shaking their head at how Blitstein, in his first film, has managed to capture post-college anxiety and identity issues so perfectly. Strangely enough, baby boomers also respond to it, if only so they can understand their 21st century kids.

That's why I am bewildered that this film - which stars Justin Rice (Mutual Appreciation), Brendan Sexton III (too many indies to mention), Laura Breckinridge and a talented newcomer named Pepper Binkley, along with a cameo by Anthony Rapp - took so long to find a distributor ( which it finally has), despite rave reviews at both the Woodstock and East Lansing Film Festivals (where it won the top prize). I don't know much about economics, but I know this: this film could easily make money hand over foot if it is released correctly, especially on the college circuit, where it would thrive and, I believe, quickly achieve cult status.

But don't take my word for it; click on the link hopefully provided here, and/or view the trailer located in the Video section. I think you'll enjoy it.

Let Them Chirp Awhile

I have come to believe...

2008-05-21T18:20:07Z

i have come to believe that many of us do not read books enough these days. it seems that whenever i look around, it is tabloids, tabloids...
where did it all go wrong? :^)
i wanted to include today a list of books that i have read that offer a wide range of information and might appeal to anyone.
i hope that you enjoy, and i challenge you: the next time you are at a news stand, try picking up a National Geographic instead of an US Weekly. you might just educate and inspire yourself more.

with many blessings..
m

THE PROPHET by Kahlil Gibran

-most people know of this book and if you haven't read it, you should. the writing is unbelievably beautiful and the book itself is truly spiritual. it brought so much joy and peace into my life.. i keep it by my bedside and look into it every now n' again.

]]> THE STATE OF AFRICA by Martin Meredith

-this book tells us of how the African nations of today came to be; how they moved out of occupation and towards independence. i believe it is a very powerful book to read and helps us understand why conditions are the way that they are today in Africa. i believe one can never read enough about history to understand one's position in the world.

GIVING by Bill Clinton

-this book is a wealth of information on how to give back to others and the world. i believe everyone should read this book. no matter how you might feel about Bill Clinton politically, he writes a great book with so many avenues of how to "give back" to our community and make the world a better and more equal place. i realized after reading this book, how much potential all of us have as individuals to really make a difference, big or small, in someone else's life. this is empowering to know, and i hope that everyone can have the same experience that i did from reading this book.

MUHAMMAD by Karen Armstrong

-MUHAMMAD is the first book of Karen's that i have read as of yet, but it encouraged me to order more of hers and read her other works. i grew up pretty much out of the "religious" world and recently decided that i wanted to educate myself about as many religions as i could. i believe that religion shapes so much of who we are and how we view our world and others around us. i felt it was important for me to read this book after there being so much attention focused on the Middle East and i realized that i didn't know much about the basic fundamentals of a people that we were at war with. i believe that not only should everyone read this book, but especially Americans. it is powerful to know that Jesus is regarded as a Saint in the Muslim religion and at one time the Jews, Christians, and Muslims coexisted peacefully and learned from one another. it was a religion founded on peace and equality for the sexes. i believe it's best not to judge and if you do, at least have the correct knowledge to do so. don't discriminate just because others are different.

BASE INSTINCTS: What Makes Killers Kill by Jonathan H. Pincus, M.D.

-i read this book so long ago, but it changed my life in how i viewed humanity. Dr. Pincus speaks of why he believes people become violent and offers his own theory involving three factors that he found present in many criminals that he interviewed in his service. in reading this book, i for the first time was able to see where the criminal was coming from and not just the victim. it made me believe that when a crime is commited, for example between two people, both are victims in their own right. it made me question the system that we have today of just "locking people up" and if there really is a better way to try and maybe halt these kinds of behavior from early childhood.

STIFF: The Secret Lives of Human Cadavers by Mary Roach

-this book is just awesome. it taught me of how in so many ways our bodies are put to use to help and even saves lives. Mary does a great job in explaining how cadavers "give back" and i think this is a great, fun, interesting read for anyone who is curious to know more about things/occupations so unspoken of.

Some Things Are Better Left Undead

2008-05-20T20:21:10Z

From five to about fifteen years of age - the glory years of childhood and adolescence - I was an avid comic book reader. I thrilled to the exploits of Marvel comics superheroes and Jack Kirby inspired monsters, and breathlessly hurried to the comic book stand at 86th and Broadway with my fistful of change, hoping for the latest issues. In the 60's and 70's, comic book heroes were noble, almost perfect role models for kids, save the occasional self absorption of Spiderman or the suggested alcoholism of Iron Man. There was a cartoonish level of violence, no bad language and the barest hint of the erotic, usually limited to the costumes clinging snugly to the absurdly perfect bodies of the female heroines, like Sue Richards of the Fantastic Four and Wonder Woman.

Well, it's 2008, and some comics (sorry, graphic novels - comics is now too infantile a name) are very, very different. Characters curse, have sex, kill for both moral and immoral purposes, and generally behave like....well, human beings. Does this make for good reading? Or have comics just descended into the gutter, with their innocence lost forever? Well, in one instance, the anything goes, go-for-broke style of today's graphic novels works brilliantly.

]]> Since the fall of 2003, Robert Kirkman's The Walking Dead has been one of the more powerful books out there. The plot is basic and, yes, familiar: The world has inexplicably been overrun by swarms of flesh eating zombies, and a small band of survivors, led by the heroic Rick Grimes, struggle day to day to survive. Although it borrows heavily from other sources ( like George Romero's zombie movies and John Wyndham's Day of the Triffids), the series manages to achieve something that its inspirations never did: a profound, detailed and believable psychological realism. This is due to both the sheer length of the series (issue number 50 is coming up in a couple of weeks) and the excellent writing/drawing team of Kirkman and Charlie Adlard (Tony Moore did the first 6 issues). Kirkman's use of silence in the series is admirable, letting Adlard's moody black and white drawings tell much of the story without it seeming overly expository, and yet they are equally adept at long, dialogue driven passages as they are with the more frenetic action sequences.

I don't want to give away too much of the book's constantly evolving plot and endless supply of characters
(it drives me crazy when reviewers kill the suspense), but I do want to state unequivocally that the best thing about the Walking Dead is this: no character - not even the cherished lead - is ever safe from harm and even death. People perish with alarming suddenness, and the effect is both gripping ,suspenseful and completely addicting. The Walking Dead, like the creepy flesh eating ghouls that inhabit it, shows no signs of slowing down. Long live the Dead!