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The 50 Worst Sex Scenes in Cinema
By Matt Singer
on 06/06/2008
Last year, IFC.com and Nerve.com teamed up to count the 50 Greatest Sex Scenes in Cinema history. But that was mere foreplay compared to our latest collaboration, the 50 Worst Sex Scenes in Cinema.
Good sex is satisfying. Bad sex is not. Same goes for sex scenes, but that doesn't necessarily mean movies earned a spot on our list because they weren't erotic. Sex scenes can do many things besides titillate: they can disturb or enlighten, provoke or repulse, amuse or confuse. They can attempt any (or, in rare and poorly considered circumstances, all of) those things, but when they aim for one and get another, that's where an onscreen booty call flips from good to bad. The films contained herein, from different eras and different directors, in different styles with different agendas, all share one thing in common: a disconnect between intent and content. Also, they're icky, pretty much right across the board.
So why dwell on the negative? Well, for one, that's what the Internet was invented for. But more importantly, we can learn from these filmmakers' mistakes. Or at least laugh at them a little. Either way, it goes a long way toward making up for having to watch these fifty mini-monstrosities in the first place.
If the dildo-rape in the film version of Myra Breckinridge is grotesque on-screen, that's because it was grotesque on the page. The book was not only Vidal's poison-pen letter to Hollywood (where he did quite well, considering he was never more than a middling talent), but to the whole human race. And presenting the parade of grotesqueries as the impotent revenge fantasies of a man in a coma doesn't change a thing . . .
You missed the terrible one in "I [heart] Huckabee's," and I thought it would surely make the top five.
I am so blogging this tonight.
At first I wondered how you could miss the last scene of Brown Bunny, but then I realized: it's not the sex scene that's so terrible, it's everything that comes before it.
You are all going to hell. Jesus hates you.
Why did you include any rape scenes as a "sex scenes".
As for my worst current it was certainly
in Lonely Hearts.
I hit eject as soon as Salma Hayek got on top of her "lover" as the woman lay dying on the floor.
What a piece of crap.
I could not care less what happened after that.
Truly a low moment for Ms. Hayek.
May never care about anything she does again.
i think midnight meat train could be a decent addition to this list.
oh ps that scene from i heart huckabees is hilarious!
sex is my dream.
i love you sex pic i love sex
i love sex sexis my life.