The Art of Dating

By Michelle Giametta on 07/20/2009

The art of dating has become a phenomenon in American culture. It has morphed into a complicated process with a lengthy list of do's and don'ts that leave many of us confused and frustrated-- wait three days before calling the first time, don't seem too available, and follow the appropriate text messaging protocol.

And the frenzy doesn't end there. Dating is the underlying cause for Americans' obsession with improving their physical appearance. The media is constantly bombarding the public with the need to be in love through movies, magazine ads, billboards, television shows, and even commercials. Americans spend millions of dollars on trendy remedies such as celebrity endorsed diet pills, the newest exercise machines, plastic surgery and Americas latest craze, self-help dating books all in an attempt to attract a potential love interest.

The notorious guide for women's dating troubles, "He's Just Not That Into You," is definitely a testament to that. This "no-excuse truth to understanding guys" has become a media sensation. American women have become consumed with the infamous book turned major motion picture, written by Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo. Some women even swear by it. Have Americans forgotten the fundamentals of dating? Do we really need to resort to manuals to help us attract the opposite sex?

Nine-year-old Alec Greven may have the answer. When Greven was given an assignment for his third grade class, he decided to write a book entitled "How to Talk to Girls." The finished product "...proved so successful that his teacher printed it up as a pamphlet which Greven then started selling at his school book fair and thus a publishing sensation was born." Greven gives advice on the basics of dating through his chapters which include but aren't limited to, "Crushes," "How to Get a Girls Attention" and "Compliments, Flowers and Other Things."

Movies and television shows paint an unrealistic picture of dating, in which people fall in love in a matter of days and live happily ever after. Has the media fueled the American public's insecurity about dating? Greven, at only eight years old, was able to strip away the façade and remind us how easy dating can be. In order to have a successful relationship people need to go back to the basics instead of constantly trying to re-create themselves to score a date.

In an interview with Ellen DeGeneres, Ellen read in excerpt from Greven's book, "Sometimes you get a girl to like you but then she ditches you. Tip: About 73% of regular girls ditch boys and about 98% of pretty girls ditch boys. Life is hard, move on." Greven makes sure to point out that all of his statistics are based on observations he made during recess.

As Greven so wisely put it, "I don't really believe in those start-up (lines). I think you should just walk up casually and just say hi, like any person would do. If she says hi back then you are off to a good start. Then you can ask her a question or something. If you are shy, try to go for a talkative girl, you don't have to say much and she will do the rest of the talking!"

Is it possible that we could all learn a little something from Alec Greven? Or will dating forever be a complicated endeavor?

[Additional Photos: "He's Just Not That Into You" Movie Poster, 2009; Alec Greven on "The Ellen DeGeneres Show", 2008; "How to Talk to Girls" Book Cover, 2008]