Tech Trends From The Onion News Network
New robot protects your privacy while you're taking care of business.
Sick of being walked in on while you try and get some alone time? Wankers rejoice! Meet Tyso, the first robot that protects your privacy while you, er…slap the monkey. Yes, scientists have been hard at work at solving one of the most pressing concerns of our time: ensuring privacy while you masturbate. Thanks to modern technology, your mom, RA, mayor, dog, or mail man will never walk in on you playing a solo game of hide the salami again. A cure for cancer can wait, because as all men know, rubbing one out without your roommate busting you is far more important. Only the “Onion News Network” has the story:
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