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Get to Know Your Onion News Network Team: Brooke Alvarez

Get to Know Your Onion News Network Team: Brooke Alvarez (photo)

As the host of FactZone, Brooke Alvarez is one of the world's most recognizable news figures. Growing up in Russia, Brooke dreamed of being famous and powerful. She emigrated to U.S., erased all trace of her Russian accent within three weeks, and began her systematic ascent to the top of the news industry. The details of this rapid climb through the various lesser networks to end up at the Onion News Network was the subject of "The Devil Incarnate" a book refuted by Brooke as "the pathetic scrawlings of a bitter and jealous acne-scarred half-reporter." A prolific Twitter user, Brooke tweets 20 to 40 times a day, often while her guests are talking. She's appeared as herself in more than a dozen motion pictures although there is some debate whether she understood that the words on her teleprompter were fictional and where they would eventually appear. Brooke owns five corgi...

As the host of FactZone, Brooke Alvarez is one of the world’s most recognizable news figures. Growing up in Russia, Brooke dreamed of being famous and powerful. She emigrated to U.S., erased all trace of her Russian accent within three weeks, and began her systematic ascent to the top of the news industry. The details of this rapid climb through the various lesser networks to end up at the Onion News Network was the subject of “The Devil Incarnate” a book refuted by Brooke as “the pathetic scrawlings of a bitter and jealous acne-scarred half-reporter.”

A prolific Twitter user, Brooke tweets 20 to 40 times a day, often while her guests are talking. She’s appeared as herself in more than a dozen motion pictures although there is some debate whether she understood that the words on her teleprompter were fictional and where they would eventually appear. Brooke owns five corgi dogs, her favorite food is kale, and she is married to author Thomas Pynchon. Brooke is active in charity work, having formed a foundation to teach newscaster dialect to young urban teens. She’s politically active as well, publicly campaigning against wind farms whenever her schedule allows. While the media has made much of her long-standing feuds with both Wolf Blitzer and Yo Yo Ma, Brooke insists she is easy to get along with as long as everyone understands their place. Brooke stays healthy and happy by swimming 20 miles each day in the resistance pool in her office.

Here is Brooke hard at work:

The Onion News Network launches on IFC on January 21, 2011 at 10 p.m. ET/PT

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