Five Rules for Great DVD Commentaries

Nails on a chalkboard to some, here are some audio commentaries that are music to our ears.

4. You Can’t Fake Friendship…

“This is what it’s like when Kurt [Russell] and I get together,” says director John Carpenter on the commentary for 1986′s “Big Trouble in Little China,” a track often cited — with good reason — as one of the best ever made. Its quality has little to do with insight into the filmmaking process, though it does have some, or the participants’ honesty, although they do make fun of Barry Diller and the other executives at Fox for not “getting” the movie they agreed to finance and distribute. (They were particularly perturbed that Russell’s character was so frequently eclipsed by his sidekick, even though that was the essential joke of the movie.)

Instead, it’s memorable for the way it makes you feel as if you’re eavesdropping on two old friends catching up on old times. Carpenter and Russell chat about their kids and their careers, and crack each other up with inside jokes. You can find a similarly amusing vibe of old school camaraderie on any commentaries shared by director Sam Raimi and star/producer Bruce Campbell; I’m very fond of their track on the director’s cut of 1993′s “Army of Darkness.” It’s not that Sam and Bruce make me laugh, so much as they make each other laugh. That sort of bond just can’t be faked.

5. …Or Smarts

Backslapping, bashing your collaborators, or playing characters are all great fun. But if I’m turning on a commentary to learn something, I’m of the opinion that you tend to get more from critics’ tracks than directors’. Though a few filmmakers have recorded really educational tracks (John Frankenheimer’s on “Ronin” is chock full of how-to know-how; ditto David Fincher’s on “Zodiac”), if you’re looking to expand your film smarts, you need to go to the critics. Roger Ebert’s track for 1941′s “Citizen Kane” is so full of information you’re guaranteed to learn something from it no matter how many times you’ve already seen the film before listening in. (I’ll cop to never noticing the positioning in the frame of Kane’s lighted window before Ebert pointed it out to me.)

Michael Jeck’s commentary for the Criterion Collection DVD of 1954′s “Seven Samurai” is even more impressive; he talks for over 200 minutes and manages to remain as aurally stimulating as Akira Kurosawa’s dazzling visuals, switching easily from mise-en-scène analysis to actor’s resumes to Kurosawa’s themes to the film’s place in Japanese culture. These tracks have more practical knowledge about film than some whole college courses.

[Additional photos: "PCU," 20th Century Fox, 1994; "Tropic Thunder," DreamWorks, 2008; Sam Raimi and Bruce Campbell on the set of "Army of Darkness," Universal Pictures, 1992; "Seven Samurai," Toho, 1954]

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