Thurman's stalker offers an alternative take on "Kill Bill."

Tuesday, May 6, 2008 | 2:44 PM

Jack Jordan was found guilty of stalking Uma Thurman today. According to the New York Times, "During the jury trial in State Supreme Court in Manhattan, Mr. Jordan testified in his own defense, describing his elaborate visions -- which he called the daydreams of an artistic soul -- that he was predestined to meet Ms. Thurman and live a happy life with her and her two children." New York magazine reprints a few of the emails Jordan sent to Thurman's father, a Columbia professor, which suggest that, Jordan's other issues aside, he's come up with some unnecessarily laborious reads of Quentin Tarantino's work:

A question about Kill Bill. If Bill killed you in the chapel, how did he end up with your healthy daughter at the end of the movie? Was a part of the film an extended hallucination? I'm not an obsessed fan, but I watched Kill Bill for the second time in my life last December. I interpreted most of the socially significant symbols, and also fell in love with you.

I'm actually a bit taken with the idea of "Kill Bill" as an extended grindhouse version of "An Occurrence at Owl Creek Bridge" — cast that way, the film becomes something terribly tragic, a dying fantasy of outlandish revenge from a woman trying to escape an unhealthy relationship. Take that, Tarantino!

[Photo: "Kill Bill: Vol 2," Miramax Films, 2004]