45. Howard the Duck (1986)

Who would've thought that long before the "Spider-Man," "X-Men" and "Blade" trilogies were money-making blips in the brains of studio execs, Marvel Comics' first and far worst stab at multiplex excitement would go down in the annals of all-time Hollywood turkeys? (Well, apparently not series creator Steve Gerber, cowriter-director Willard Huyck or executive producer George Lucas.) '80s staple Lea Thompson takes center stage as Beverly Switzler, leader of Cleveland's all-girl, punk-haired bar band Cherry Bomb, whose unlikely friendship with the three-foot Howard — an anthropomorphic, cigar-chomping mallard from another planet (played by various little actors in a puppeteer-mechanized suit, including "In Bruges" co-star Jordan Prentice) — leads to something misguidedly creepier. While Howard rocks out on Beverly's synthesizer in her apartment one night, she exits the bathroom in panties, a silky top and open nightshirt, then ogles his tail and goads him into managing her band. "I've got to get back to my own kind," he rebukes before eyeing her ass as she crawls into bed: "Although, I have developed a greater appreciation for the female version of the human anatomy." He waddles into bed with her, cringe-worthy innuendos ensue ("You think I might find happiness in the animal kingdom, Ducky?"), they lock bedroom eyes, and then? "Okay, let's go for it, Mr. Macho." Howard gets nervous and the icky tension is broken with just a goodnight kiss, but not before she rubs his chest under his pajamas, and bestiality goes mainstream momentarily as the feathers on his head stand... (gulp!) erect. —Aaron Hillis [Watch this clip on YouTube.]

44. BloodRayne (2005)

It wasn't Uwe Boll's first sex scene — after all, the Teutonic titan of bad movies had already filmed a nudity-free sexual encounter between Tara Reid and Christian Slater for 2005's "Alone in the Dark." However, one might say the director didn't go full tilt until he did so quite literally with Matthew Davis and Kristanna Loken, who in real life had been rumored at the time to be a little more into co-star Michelle Rodriguez. Perhaps not so incidentally then, Loken is the more butch in her scene with Davis, throwing him up against a metal gate and ripping off the shabby tunic he's wearing before grabbing hold of two of the gate's bars and mounting him. As one astute online critic pointed out at GenerationGamerz.com, Davis never opens his eyes as thrusting commences, though his tongue does find its way around one of Loken's nipples. (Oddly enough, Davis spends the rest of the scene mouth agape and gasping for air.) The least erotic aspect of the scene, besides, of course, the lack of any attraction between Davis and Loken, is the sound effect of the clanging gate that Loken clutches. If nothing else, Boll did achieve one thing — there's no reason for an inevitable porn remake of "Bloodrayne," since 18th century Romania never looked so much like 1980s San Fernando Valley. —Stephen Saito
[Watch this clip on YouTube]

43. Kissed (1996)

A thesis film if I ever saw one, Lynne Stopkewich's "Kissed" features Molly Parker as a death-obsessed mortician's assistant named Sandra Larson. Sandra's not shocked by the news that her mortuary mentor and boss has been shagging the chilly clientele, because it's something she's been building up to her entire emo, rodent corpse-rubbing life. Stopkewich saves the big scene until late in the film, when Sandra finally locks herself into the morgue with a handsome slab of man. The young fellow is an accident victim of some sort, but the visual focus is largely on Sandra, who begins a labored ritual by removing her clothes and circling the body as though he were an occult offering. Completely naked by the time she climbs up on the table, the harsh, fluorescent light gives way to an ethereal, heavenly glow that emanates from Sandra as she straddles what's-his-face and rocks him with tastefully ecstatic abandon. Mildly convincing in theory, "Kissed" can't really survive the cacophony of wrong notes in this scene, which underlines the delicacy of the film's narrative tightrope and the probable impossibility of hitting any right notes when filming such a scenario. It was probably better left to the imagination. —Michelle Orange

42. Hollow Man (2000)

Thanks to 1995's "Showgirls," Paul Verhoeven was already infamous for sleaze when he delivered "Hollow Man," though this invisible man saga's notorious rape sequence is less seedy than simply cheesy. In it, Kevin Bacon's arrogant scientist, having made himself imperceptible, decides that the best way to fully exploit his newfound powers is to wield them for deviant purposes. The initial object of his impure impulses is a beauty (Rhona Mitra) living in the apartment complex across the street, who after arriving home and taking a shower — one of many instances where Verhoeven's camera droolingly lingers on Mitra's exposed bosoms — hears her doorbell ring. Smart enough to know that you don't open a door before checking to see who's there, Mitra looks out the peephole. Too bad her would-be attacker is invisible! When she does peer into the hallway, Bacon sneaks in so he can immaturely toy with her (ooh, he moved her dressing table mirror!), before pouncing on her for some good ol' fashion sexual assault. Hot? No. Perverse? Perhaps. Lame? Definitely, not only for Verhoeven's swooshing cinematography, but also for the fact that the director doesn't even show the dirty deed — unless, that is, you watch the unrated DVD cut. Which, alas, is no better. —Nick Schager [Watch this clip at Dailymotion.]

41. Novocaine (2001)

For a whole host of reasons, comedians shouldn't do serious sex scenes — would anyone really want to see Scarlett Johansson whisper "Wanna come up to my room?" into Bill Murray's ear at the end of "Lost in Translation"? When Steve Martin drops trou in "Novocaine," the first inclination is to wonder where the funny man with the arrow through his head went. The second is to wince as Martin, playing a dentist, proceeds to perform a different kind of drilling on a drug-addled patient with a black eye (Helena Bonham Carter), who seduces him to score some painkillers. Perhaps director David Atkins knew some might be put off by Martin enfuego, which is why he juxtaposes the scene with the dentist's fiancé (Laura Dern) doing karate, though the resulting jumble of images add to the ick factor more than the dark comedy Atkins was likely aiming for. On the commentary, the director says that he originally intended to leave the two individual scenes intact, but that intercutting them "added more something or other." Indeed, the scene, which ultimately ends with a dissolve into a nature show about hyenas, is something alright, though certainly not funny or sexy. Curiously enough, Martin and Bonham Carter were romantically linked in real life briefly, but no one would've guessed it from their chemistry they display in this film. —S.S. [Watch this clip at Nerve.]

[Photos: "Howard the Duck," Universal Pictures, 1986; "BloodRayne," Romar Entertainment, 2005; "Kissed," Goldwyn Films, 1997; "Hollow Man," Columbia Pictures, 2000; "Novocaine," Artisan Entertainment, 2001]