50 Greatest Comedy Sketches: 31 - 40

40. Citizen Kane - The Kids in the Hall

The Kids in the Hall were absurdists of the finest order, and this memorable sketch from their inaugural season begins like a segment from an early "Seinfeld" episode before gleefully launching into loonier territory. The premise is simple: While eating at a diner, Dave Foley attempts to tell Kevin McDonald about the great movie he saw on TV the previous night. From his initial description, it's clear the film in question is "Citizen Kane," but Foley refuses to agree, going so far as to suggest that the movie, "about this newspaper tycoon and he's dead, and everybody is telling stories about him," was actually called "Psycho." It's a joke rooted in a universal feeling of frustration with obstinacy, and, concluding with ridiculous violence made hilarious by Foley's nonchalant reaction to being attacked, it's sure to satisfy the bloodlust of anyone who's ever had to put up with a memory-challenged boob. —Nick Schager

39. Porcupine Racetrack - The State

Is "Porcupine Racetrack" the best musical of the '90s? I wouldn't argue against it. A parody of Broadway musicals played so straight it's almost an homage, it packs in class consciousness, an aborted tap breakdown, syrupy melodrama ("So God if you're above / And it's orphans / That you love / Then help the porcupine I chose") and the triumph of the human spirit (in the form of Thomas Lennon wearing a giant porcupine outfit) into less than three minutes. It's a marvel of performance and production design on a budget — the manic energy of the cast selling every last ounce of the willfully bizarre premise. Conceived by Mr. Lennon and set to music and performed by Teddy Shapiro, who wrote most of the incidental music on the show, it's a tour de force of brightly colored absurdity — performed with loving care, all the way down to the checked suits and newsboy caps. —R. Emmet Sweeney

38. White, White Baby - In Living Color

Before his seduction by the siren song of acting respectability, Jim Carrey was one of the best sketch comedy performers this country ever saw. Carrey had his share of recurring characters during his five years on "In Living Color," but his unforgettable one-off performance as Vanilla Ice on the show's brutal "Ice, Ice Baby" parody showcases all of his talents: remarkable vocal and facial contortions coupled with incredible body control (his silly dance moves are arguably better than the real Ice's) an uncontrollable streak of infectious energy, and a total lack of self-consciousness (sell that butt-wiping joke, Jim, sell it!). Carrey's "White, White Baby" is two and a half minutes of pure killer, no filler, with clever lyrics ("I'm white and I'm capitalizing / On a trend that's currently rising / I'm livin' large and my bank is stupid / Cause I just listen to real rap and dupe it") and great bits of Carrey business, including references to the Three Stooges and "I'm a Little Teapot." Jim, I know it's hard saying no to directorial greats like Ron Howard and Joel Schumacher, but I'm begging you: come back to us! —Matt Singer

37. Saying Goodbye - Smack the Pony

As two friends say farewell after a dinner party, a man displays his affection for the host, roaming his arms over her body and planting proprietary kisses all over her. The departing guest shifts to maintain a comfortable distance between herself and the couple, which only encourages the man to grow bolder, to the point that's he's nuzzling her friend's stomach. We sympathize with the guest — her discomfort is obvious — until she indicates to the man — her man — that it's time to go. These universally awkward moments: bearing witness to increasingly frisky PDA, the prolonged goodbye on the threshold after a party, are made all the worse because they're experienced in tandem, and the bar is further raised when we realize we've jumped to the wrong conclusions. But the skit's perfection is sealed by its length — the whole thing takes place in less than a minute. So even though we're still digesting... it's time to go. —Lily Oei

36. Mind Match - The State

There's so much material to mock on your average game show — the slimy host, the lame prizes, the idiotic questions — that it's hard to nail all the potential targets in a single sketch, but "The State"'s "Mind Match" pulls it off. Kevin Allison is the nauseatingly peppy host, and Thomas Lennon and Kerri Kenney the unhappy contestants who suddenly discover that instead of cash, their right answers are netting them real live orphans (dressed like 19th century orphans for the sake of comedy and clarity). And you thought turtle wax was a crummy prize. Since Lennon and Kenney obviously don't want orphans and there's seemingly no way of ditching them, they start answering incorrectly on purpose ("Name a form of transportation!" "Um...blue?"). Though the entirety of this three-and-a-half minute sketch is perfectly funny, the most subversive touch comes after a few viewings, when you realize the show has put you in a position to actively root against the well-being of orphaned children. —M.S.

35. I Know Black People - Chappelle's Show

Dave Chappelle's faux game show, "I Know Black People," is based around a simple concept — that black culture is both alien and alluring to most whites — and elaborates ten mostly improvised minutes of uproarious comedy out of it. What makes it work is its lack of condescension — the contestants (who range from an African Studies professor to a writer on the show) aren't the joke, but their answers often are. Chappelle's questions range from straight definitions (The writer thinks a "loosey" is a term for oral sex (really a loose cigarette)), to statements on the future of the black race ("How can black people rise up and overcome?"). It's comedy of mutual misunderstanding (or in one contestant's case, the barber, of the poetic vulgarity of understanding), all MC'd by Chappelle's ingratiatingly sarcastic presence. Utopia is not far off, however, as all racial boundaries are transcended during a sing-along to the theme from "Good Times." —R.E.S.

34. Wycked Sceptre Party Tape - Mr. Show

Heavy metal band Wycked Sceptre has a problem. A homemade videotape of one of their parties is about to leak to the public and on it, the guys are having sex... with each other. But when their record label reps, played by Jay Johnston and Tom Kenny, call them in to talk about it, they're shocked to find that despite their personal taste, the Sceptres hate gay people. These musicians, you see, they are intensely stupid. Johnston, whose character is gay, walks the band (played by David Cross, Bob Odenkirk and John Ennis) through the footage (Cross to Odenkirk as he's doing him: "You are SO naked!!") and then gently tries to drop the sexual bombshell by explaining, step by step, the connection between his sexual preference and the band's. "Because I'm gay," he explains, "I use this tape to stimulate into having an erection. Then I use that erection to masturbate with." Their less-than-respectful response: the homophobic f-word. The result is nothing less than the best dumb rock star parody in any medium since "This is Spinal Tap." —M.S.

33. The Spanish Inquisition - Monty Python

In England, this classic Monty Python sketch assures us, simply uttering the phrase, "I didn't expect the Spanish Inquisition!" triggers the sudden arrival of a trio of red-robed cardinals. Priding themselves on their capacity to surprise and instill fear, the hapless crew is too bogged down by repeated recitations of their mission, and in one instance, cross-town traffic, to prove at all menacing. (Like bad comics, the cardinals have not quite mastered timing and delivery.) Leave it to the Pythons to take religious persecution and burnish it into comedy. Instead of administering ruthless auto de fe on their startled victims, the cardinals rely on household sundries as tools of torture — a dish-drying rack, some plump cushions, a comfy chair. As Cardinal Ximenez, Michael Palin is mortified by the limitations of his bumbling team and tries to step up his game... by raising his voice: "I suppose we make it worse by shouting a lot." An iconic skit, it seems fitting that the phrase "the Spanish Inquisition" has become synonymous in pop culture with the unexpected. Any lesser tribute would be heresy. —L.O.

32. Four Yorkshiremen - At Last the 1948 Show

It's an obnoxious truth of existence that rich people always claim that life was easier and happier when they were poor. Never was this idiocy more satisfyingly lampooned as by the cast of "At Last the 1948 Show," Marty Feldman, Tim Brooke-Taylor, and a pre-Monty Python John Cleese and Graham Chapman, in their "Four Yorkshiremen" sketch. Lounging in tuxedos with cigars and fine champagne, they reminisce about the "good old days" when they were penniless and happy, back when they grateful even for a simple cup of tea. "Cup of cold tea," Graham interjects. "Without milk or sugar!" adds John. "Or tea!" replies Tim. Thus begins a hysterical bout of one-upsmanship, filled to the brim with classic British absurdism. "House? You were lucky to have a house! We used to live in one room, 26 of us!" says Graham, to which Tim replies, "Room? You were lucky to have a room! We used to have to live in a corridor!", to which Marty responds "Corridor? I used to dream of living in a corridor!" And so on until the very rules of time and space have been shattered in the interest of poverty pride. The sketch is so perfect that Python covered it in their live shows. —M.S.

31. Four Candles - The Two Ronnies

Armed with a lengthy shopping list, one man (Ronnie Barker) tries to work through it with the help of the general store shopkeeper (Ronnie Corbett). Dropping his aitches liberally, Barker pleasantly makes his requests — four candles, hose, pumps — to the increasing consternation of Corbett, who reflexively fetches all the wrong items. The "four candles" Barker wants are fork handles; "the hose" are letter O's; the pumps are ladies' shoes. We giggle with Barker, we commiserate with Corbett, but the real stars of the show are the elisions and homophones. At the end of his tether, Corbett finally stomps off when he spots "bill hooks" on the list — a way of slipping "bollocks" into the skit without actually saying it. Slapstick and pratfalls have their place in comedy, but it's refreshing to remember that wordplay can be all that's required to elicit a smile. —L.O.