"I would simply go to the Internet and watch real people having real sex."

By Alison Willmore on 09/09/2008

"I was on a roll, so I kept going with it. I said, 'Look, if I were a 13-year-old boy, and I saw ['Zack and Miri'] on cable back in 1983? Yes, it would send me to the bathroom to jerk off. Now, as a 13-year-old boy, if I saw this movie? It would not titillate me. I would simply go to the Internet and watch real people having real sex. How can you possibly say this is too erotically charged when it's so obviously a comedy with people having over-the-top fake sex, when we can see examples of real sex at a keystroke?' "
         --Kevin Smith on appealing "Zack and Miri Make a Porno"'s NC-17, at Salon.

"[I]t's weird, because everywhere I go, people yell, 'Grasshopper!' or 'Bill!' but down there in Mexico or Colombia or anywhere in South America or most of Europe, people will yell, 'Serpent's Egg!' And I'll go, 'Wow, man, these people are really hip.' "
         --David Carradine on acting in Ingmar Bergman's 1977 "The Serpent's Egg," at the Onion AV Club.

"To be clear, Kirby Dick's movie was a one-sided and inaccurate view of the system and it should by no means be considered a credible source on the topic. The ratings are an informational guide for parents -- and that's it. The rating board doesn't censor films. It doesn't say if a movie is good or bad. It isn't the morality police of our society. None of that is appropriate. It simply makes sure parents have the information they need to make decisions as they raise their kids."
         --MPAA CEO Dan Glickman on "This Film Is Not Yet Rated," at the New York Times.

"I went to camps way out in the middle of nowhere and shook hands and took pictures with over 17,000 troops. I'd go to an outdoor toilet and there are Chuck Norris facts on the walls. When I arrived in Iraq, I saw a sign that said, 'Chuck Norris is here. We can now go home.' Man, I wished that was the truth."
         --Chuck Norris, who otherwise unamusingly talks politics, policy issues and his new book "Black Belt Patriotism," at Time.

"Dexter resonates so loudly in the depths of my soulless soul that laughs bounced around in there and come screaming out. I feel somehow when watching Dexter as if it speaks only to me. I love rooting for the serial killer. That's the essence of noir -- the highly imperfect hero who convinces you that you would kill too, and that, indeed, it's the right thing to do if only you had the courage."
         --Paul Krik, director of the low-budget 9/11 conspiracy noir "Able Danger," at Spout.

[Photo: "Zack and Miri Make a Porno," Weinstein Company, 2008]