"Blog" is the Ugliest Word I Have Ever Heard!!!!

By Jena Malone on 05/12/2008

I love words. I love learning new words and outdated words and mixing and mashing old words til new words emerge. We have so many in the English language our possibilities are endless. That's why when I come across a word that's really horrible, that feels like someone just burped and wrote down the syllables, I feel somehow cheated. And for me Blog is just that kind of word.

I HATE the word so much! Blog. BBBBBBLOOOG. It sounds like an onomatopoeia (a word that sounds like it is). Like someone stuffs their mouth with the grossest, filthiest words until they explode and then, "Bloooooog" comes out. I think of vomit, belching, burping, and spitting mixed with an odd feeling of boredom.

I never wanted anything to do with this word. I wanted to live faraway in a place where I would never have to hear this word again.

And then the lovely people at IFC asked me to be a guest on their weekly blog and I got an itch. It was very subtle but I knew something was turning. I put my feelings aside and tried to read their meaning and somewhere in the back closet or in the bottom of some strange hole I could see an odd urge to liberate this word!!! Yes!! Take it back and turn it on its side.

Blog: An abridgment of the term web log.

Web log: Entries of commentary, descriptions of events on a website.

So I find, it's more like a journal, a daily journal of updates, an online dairy. Without further adieu, here is my list of ways to avoid "Blog" in your vernacular:

Pocketbloggett: A bit of kitsch, like a pocket rocket. This allows the blog to still be personal ie- We all have pockets, but still fun and explosive.

Wog: An even shorter abridgment to web-log.

Hehehehhehe, its way harder then I thought. I think pocketbloggett might be my favorite though. Please let's save this word while we still can. Any suggestions?

Some words for inspiration:

• Oxford dictionary picks the word of the year for 2007

"Locavore" was coined two years ago by a group of four women in San Francisco who proposed that local residents should try to eat only food grown or produced within a 100-mile radius. Other regional movements have emerged since then, though some groups refer to themselves as "localvores" rather than "locavores."

• Oxford dictionary picks the word of the year for 2007
(The runners up)

Aging in Place: The process of growing older while living in one's own residence, instead of having to move to a new home or community.

Bacn: Email notifications, such as news alerts and social networking updates that are considered more desirable than unwanted "spam" (coined at PodCamp Pittsburgh in Aug. 2007 and popularized in the blogging community).

Cloudware: Online applications, such as webmail, powered by massive data storage facilities, also called "cloud servers".

Colony Collapse Disorder: A still-unexplained phenomenon resulting in the widespread disappearance of honeybees from beehives, first observed in late 2006.

Cougar: an older woman who romantically pursues younger men.

MRAP Vehicle: Mine Resistant Ambush Protected vehicle, designed to protect troops from improvised explosive devices (IEDs).

Mumblecore: An independent film movement featuring low-budget production, non-professional actors, and largely improvised dialogue.

Previvor: A person who has not been diagnosed with a form of cancer but has survived a genetic predisposition for cancer.

Social Graph: The network of one's friends and connections on social websites such as Facebook and Myspace.

Tase (or Taze): To stun with a Taser (popularized by a Sep. 2007 incident in which a University of Florida student was filmed being stunned by a Taser at a public forum).

Upcycling: The transformation of waste materials into something more useful or valuable.