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The Matrix Revolutions Hugo Weaving

Whoa Is Me

5 Movies From The Wachowskis That Are Too Rotten to Miss

Catch The Matrix Revolutions tonight at 8P during IFC's Rotten Fridays.

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Warner Bros.

The Wachowskis hold a unique place in Hollywood history thanks to The Matrix. Unfortunately, the rest of their filmography is another matter. While The Matrix is an undisputed classic (and their crime thriller Bound is highly underrated), they’ve never again approached such heights of storytelling. Instead, the rest of their filmography is a mishmash of overly ambitious failures and style before substance. Still, we can’t deny that even their failures have some downright entertaining moments. As IFC and Rotten Tomatoes team up to celebrate movies that are “too rotten to miss,” we thought we’d look back at five Wachowski movies that are eminently watchable in their lousiness.

5. Cloud Atlas

Cloud Atlas Tom Hanks
Warner Bros. Pictures

Cloud Atlas is probably the Wachowskis’ most ambitious movie to date, and also one of their best. Unfortunately, being one of their best doesn’t mean it’s very good. Based on the acclaimed novel by British author David Mitchell, Cloud Atlas tells the story of various characters’ interweaving roles in a narrative that spans the past, the present and the future. If that sounds vague and confusing, it’s because it is. While the book was a huge success based on digging deep into these characters’ realities, the movie takes a more superficial and often obvious approach. What’s left is a head scratcher full of Tom Hanks playing dress up. As with much of the Wachowksis’ work, there are a lot of interesting ideas buried in this movie, but they tend to collapse under the weight of all the gimmicks and miscues the filmmakers can’t seem to avoid.


4. Speed Racer

Speed Racer
Warner Bros. Pictures

The creators of The Matrix take on a beloved cult cartoon? What could go wrong? Well, judging by the $19 million this $120 million fiasco earned in its opening weekend, a lot. Less a movie than an assault on the senses, Speed Racer was supposed to be the Wachowskis’ comeback after their Matrix saga came off the rails. Things likes performance, character and plot are beside the point here. This is all about explosive CGI. Colors whizzing by. Streaks of light having sex with a rainbow on acid. It’s an overwhelming experience, but not necessarily a bad one. You feel swept away to a magical world of Day-Glo racecar drivers fighting for their shot. And then it keeps going. And going. And going. That wonder turns into a headache. That awe into an urge to vomit. It never lets up, or bothers to craft a story and characters interesting enough to make you want to keep the puke down long enough to see how it ends. The Wachowskis seem to have made exactly the movie they were going for here, but their instincts betray them yet again, leaving us with a sugar high hangover.


3. The Matrix Reloaded

Matrix Rave
Warner Bros. Pictures

Fans showed up in droves for The Matrix Reloaded, ready to pop the red pill and see where it took them. Unfortunately, the answer was no place they wanted to go. Instead, the rabbit hole led to a convoluted sequel that dropped the clear storyline of the first film for a impenetrable mess of self-indulgent world building and empty motivations. A diehard fan under extreme interrogation couldn’t coherently describe what this movie was about. There’s some albino twins and a guy who’s also a key? In the end, this was science fiction navel gazing at its worst. The Wachowskis got lost in the world they created, and forgot to ground the film in story, character and sanity. Plus, that rave scene is pretty ridiculous.


2. The Matrix Revolutions

Matrix Revolutions
Warner Bros. Pictures

When the first Matrix film was released in 1999, it was sold with the tagline “What is the Matrix?” By the time the head scratching sequels came and went, no one seemed to know or care anymore. If we’re being honest, do any of us even remember this movie? We went into Reloaded with sky-high expectation and were met with a thundering middle finger. This movie was a denouement of apathy, a $150 million shrug of the shoulders. When filmmakers feel the need to create complex mythology to explain a recast part, you know you’re probably in a bit of trouble. By the time the trilogy limps actors to the finish line, with the wizened Oracle basically admitting she has no idea what just happened, the audience found themselves repeating Keanu Reeves’ iconic catchphrase, “Whoa.” (Or more likely, “Whaaa??”) It’s the rotten nadir of the Matrix franchise, complete with some choice dazed Keanu-isms and endless scenes of characters spouting wisdom that seems to be gleaned from a Magic Eightball.


1. Jupiter Ascending

Jupiter Ascending
Warner Bros. Pictures

At a certain point, you can’t blame the Wachowskis alone for their incomprehensibly bad movies. You have to start questioning the men in suits who hand them hundreds of millions of dollars to make them. Whoever read the dense story of a mysterious queen of bees rescued by a buff dog/elf with hover rollerblades, and thought, now this one is going to be a hit, needs to rethink their line of work. This movie is so bad, it’s virtually become shorthand for movies that suck. There are too many issues to mention. Channing Tatum plays a half albino with dog DNA and a leather fetish, and looks ashamed the whole time. Eddie Redmayne puts on an overacting clinic that very nearly cost him his Oscar. Somehow, nearly every scene in this movie introduces a new plot that goes nowhere. It’s as if the Wachowskis threw everything AND the kitchen sink into their script, and then made the kitchen sink a part dog bounty hunter with floating space shoes! This is the type of movie that doesn’t just end careers, it ends studios. It’s also gradually picking up a cult following as a seriously “WTF” movie that is too rotten to miss.

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Rev Up

Your Portlandia Personality Test

The New Portlandia Webseries Is Going Your Way

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Carrie and Fred understand that although we have so much in common, we’re each so beautifully unique and different. To help us navigate those differences, Portlandia has found an easy and honest way to embrace our special selves in the form of a progressive new traffic system: a specific lane for every kind of driver. It’s all in honor of the show’s 8th and final season, and it’s all presented by Subaru.

Ready to find out who you really are? Match your personality to a lane and hop on the expressway to self-understanding.

Lane 10: Trucks Piled With Junk

Your junk is falling out of your trunk. Shake a tail light, people — this lane is for you.

Lane 33: Twins

You’re like a Gemini, but waaaay more pedestrian. Maybe you and a friend just wear the same outfits a lot. Who cares, it’s just twinning enough to make you feel special.

Lane 27: Broken Windows

Bad luck follows you around and everyone knows it. Your proverbial seat is always damp from proverbial rain. Is this the universe telling you to swallow your pride? Yes.

Lane 69: Filthy Cars

You’re all about convenience. Getting your car washed while you drive is a no-brainer.

Lane 43: Newly Divorced Singles

It’s been a while since you’ve driven alone, and you don’t know the rules of the road anymore. What’s too fast? What’s too slow? Are you sending the right signals? Don’t worry, the breakdown lane is nearby if you need it.

Still can’t find a lane to match your personality? Check out all the videos here. And see the final season of Portlandia this spring on IFC.

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Give Back

Last-Minute Holiday Gift Guide

Hits from the '80s are on repeat all Christmas Eve and Day on IFC.

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GIFs via Giphy, Photos via The Everett Collection

It’s the final countdown to Christmas and thanks to IFC’s movie marathon all Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, you can revel in classic ’80s films AND find inspiration for your last-minute gifts. Here are our recommendations, if you need a head start:

Musical Instrument

Great analog entertainment substitute when you refuse to give your kid the Nintendo Switch they’ve been drooling over.

Breakfast In Bed

Any significant other or child would appreciate these Uncle Buck-approved flapjacks. Just make sure you’re not stuck on clean up duty.

Cocktail Supplies

You’ll need them to get through the holidays.

Dance Lessons

So you can learn to shake-shake-shake (unless you know ghosts willing to lend a hand).

Comfy Clothes

With all the holiday meals, there may be some…embigenning.



Get even more great inspiration all Christmas Eve and Day on IFC, and remember…

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A-O Rewind

Celebrating Portlandia One Sketch at a Time

The final season of Portlandia approaches.

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GIFs via Giphy

Most people measure time in minutes, hours, days, years…At IFC, we measure it in sketches. And nothing takes us way (waaaaaay) back like Portlandia sketches. Yes, there’s a Portlandia milepost from every season that changed the way we think, behave, and pickle things. In honor of Portlandia’s 8th and final season, Subaru presents a few of our favorites.

via GIPHY

Put A Bird On It

Portlandia enters the pop-culture lexicon and inspires us to put birds on literally everything.

Colin the Chicken

Who’s your chicken, really? Behold the emerging locavore trend captured perfectly to the nth degree.

Dream Of The ’90s

This treatise on Portland made it clear that “the dream” was alive and well.

No You Go

We Americans spend most of our lives in cars. Fortunately, there’s a Portlandia sketch for every automotive situation.

A-O River!

We learned all our outdoor survival skills from Kath and Dave.

One More Episode

The true birth of binge watching, pre-Netflix. And what you’ll do once Season 8 premieres.

Catch up on Portlandia’s best moments before the 8th season premieres January 18th on IFC.

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