Scary Movie 2 cast

Wrong Wayans

10 Rotten Wayans Brothers Movies

Catch the Certified Rotten comedy Scary Movie 2 Friday at 8P on IFC.

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Photo Credit: Dimension Films/Everett Collection

There was a time, not so long ago, that the Wayans family was synonymous with hilariously biting satire. With movies like I’m Gonna Git You Sucka and the classic sketch series In Living Color, the Wayans clan dominated culturally relevant comedy. But on the heels of those early successes, the Wayans began pumping out comedies filled cheap jokes and lazy spoofs that failed to match the incisive, message-driven works that the family produced in the late-’80s and early-’90s. Still, while all the movies on the list below are “Certified Rotten,” some are more dire than others.

Before you catch Scary Movie 2 on IFC’s Rotten Fridays, here are 10 movies that show the Wayans at their most (and slightly less) “rotten.”

1. A Low Down Dirty Shame (Tomatometer: 0%)

Surprisingly, the lowest rated Wayans movie on Rotten Tomatoes doesn’t contain a single Scream mask or CGI-faced toddler. Instead, it’s a poorly executed action-comedy written, directed by and starring Wayans elder Keenen Ivory. A far cry from his earlier acclaimed work, A Low Down Dirty Shame is a forgettable collection of mediocre stunts and jokes that can’t sustain itself either as an action or a comedy movie — and “forgettable” is the death knell for purveyors of outrageousness.


2. Fifty Shades of Black (7%)

The most recent entry in the Wayans’ oeuvre, Fifty Shades of Black is a spoof of a book whose parodies were exhausted five years ago. Rather than search for a new comedic angle to the novel’s corny BDSM meets Twilight fan fiction story, star Marlon Wayans (who also co-wrote and co-produced the movie) opts for the surface-level sight gags that always seem to anchor his family’s projects. Overuse of slapstick violence? Check. Cheap jokes at the expense of obese individuals? Check. A Kim Kardashian joke? Check and mate. Fifty Shades of Black isn’t so much a movie as it is an extended trailer from a different Wayans movie.


3. A Haunted House (10%) and A Haunted House 2 (8%)

Returning to the horror-comedy well for a double-dose of eye rolls and heavy sighs, writer-producer-star Marlon Wayans peddles the very same jokes that hit their middling apex with the first Scary Movie. From unseen poltergeists to dead-eyed dolls, Marlon proves there’s no overused horror trope that he can’t scream at and hit with a breakaway chair. But seeing as how both A Haunted House movies made substantial profits based on rock-bottom production costs, there will always be a market for lazy, easily recognizable parodies.


4. Little Man (12%)

For anyone who was dying to see Marlon Wayans’ face rotoscoped onto a horny toddler, your prayers were answered in 2006 with Little Man. A comprehensive argument against the advancement of CGI, the Marlon-baby hybrid sexually harasses woman and screams in homophobic panic when Shawn joins him in a bubble bath for a farting contest. (We wish we were kidding.) And you’ll never guess how Little Man reacts when he’s given a rectal thermometer! Wait, maybe you could.


5. Mo’ Money (13%)

After the world witnessed what the Wayans were capable of in recent years, this loose adaptation of an In Living Color sketch seems downright quaint and watchable. Written by Damon (who stars alongside Marlon), 1992’s Mo’ Money contains an actual plot with actual characters who have believable motivations — which is a huge departure from the family’s later work — but it still fails to maintain much interest. Gay jokes and broad impressions of mental disorders abound while the two brothers commit credit card fraud and grand larceny. In other words, it’s not the Wayans’ worst movie.


6. Blankman (13%)

To the Wayans’ credit, they were trying their hand at the “average person fights crime as a superhero” movie years before the genre was played out with Kick-Ass, Super, Mystery Men, et al. (Not that this 1994 film is very good, but at least they were exploring relatively new territory.) Blankman stars and was written by Damon, who plays a nerdy, effeminate repairman who takes on the crime world with homemade gadgetry and undiagnosed autism. There are a few decent laughs in the movie, and the concept isn’t wholly terrible, but the 13% rating on Rotten Tomatoes is definitely earned.


7. Scary Movie 2 (15%)

The second and final entry in the Scary Movie franchise to involve a Wayans, the sequel to the hit horror spoof features a surprisingly high amount of comedy talent (Chris Elliott, David Cross and Andy Richter also appear) and contains parody set pieces that were still effective in the early years of the Wayans spoof factory. Keenen Ivory directs while Shawn and Marlon write and star, and the whole affair manages to coast on the appeal of its predecessor. While we didn’t realize it then, Scary Movie 2 represents a more refined Wayans work.


8. White Chicks (15%)

Look, we’re not made of stone. The sight of Shawn and Marlon as white women elicits a snicker or two, and the stars mumbling through a Vanessa Carlton singalong is a solid gag. But the movie itself never rises above the level of “men in drag” cliches like falsie fumbling and keeping clueless male suitors at bay. Once again serving as director and co-writer, Keenen Ivory reins in his younger brothers’ performances and penchant for gross-out gags, maintaining a storyline that can serve as a tangible plot. It ain’t Tootsie, but it ain’t Norbit either.


9. Dance Flick (18%)

Written by a quintet of Wayans (including nephews Craig and Damien Dante), this 2009 dance spoof has an embarrassment of riches when it comes to source material. Critically panned — but not to the degree of other Wayans parodies — the movie features New Girl’s Damon Wayans, Jr. as the trainer to hopeless prancer Shoshana Bush and has more than a few laughs. (Call us morbid, but a real-life baby peeking through the slots of a closed school locker makes us chuckle.)


10. Don’t Be a Menace to South Central While Drinking Your Juice in the Hood (29%)

Winning over both audiences and more than a few critics, Don’t Be a Menace kicked off the slew of wordy spoofs we’ve all come to regret. But in 1996, Shawn and Marlon’s rapid-fire references hadn’t yet overstayed their welcome and kept viewers entertained. Skewering John Singleton, the Hughes Brothers and the urban dramas of the time, the movie succeeds in eking out comedy from the stark subject matter it chooses to parody. How well the movie has aged is debatable, but to the Wayans’ credit: They know a reliably profitable formula when they see one.

Catch the “Too Rotten to Miss” Wayans spoof Scary Movie 2 this Friday at 8P on IFC.

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Inauguration Alternative

Bill Murray On Repeat

It's a movie "Murray-thon" all-day Friday on IFC.

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Photo Credit: Everett Collection, GIFs courtesy of GIPHY

Democrats, Republicans and Millennials agree: 2017 is shaping up to be a spectacle — a spectacle that really kicks into high gear this Friday with the presidential inauguration. Not only will the new POTUS swear in, but all the Country’s highest offices will be filled. It’s a daunting prospect, and to feel a little anxious about it is only normal. But if your anxiety is snowballing into panic, we have a solution:
Bill Murray.

He’s the human embodiment of a mental “Happy Place”, and there’s really no problem he can’t solve. So, with that in mind, how about we all set aside reality for a moment and let Bill take the pain away by imagining a top-shelf White House cabinet filled exclusively by his signature characters. Here are a few hypothetical appointments for your consideration…

Secretary of Defense:
Bill Murray from Stripes

His incompetence is balanced by charm, and dumb luck is inexplicably on his side. America could do worse.

Secretary of State:
Bill Murray from Lost In Translation

A seasoned globetrotter steeped in regional traditions who has the respect of the whole wide world. And he kills Costello in karaoke, which is very important.

Press Secretary:
Bill Murray from Ghostbusters

“Cats and dogs, living together. Mass hysteria.” Dude knows how to brief a room.

Secretary of Health and Human Services:
Bill Murray from What About Bob.

A doctor-approved people person who knows that progress is measured in baby steps.

Secretary of Energy:
Bill Murray from Groundhog Day

Let’s be honest, this world is going to need a lot of do-overs.

Feeling better? Hold on to that bliss. And enjoy a healthy alternative to the inauguration brouhaha with multiple Murrays all Friday long in an IFC movie marathon including Kingpin, Zombieland, Ghostbusters, and Ghostbusters II.

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Home Run

Hank Azaria Gets Thrown A Curve Ball

Brockmire Premieres April 5 at 10P

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Photo Credit: Everett Collection

Unless you’ve somehow missed every episode of the Simpsons since 1989, then surely you know that Hank Azaria is one of the most important character actors of our time. He’s so prolific and his voice is so dynamic that he’s responsible for more iconic personalities than most folks realize. Basically, he’s the great and powerful Oz — except that when you pull back the curtain the truth is actually more impressive. And now Hank is coming to IFC to bring yet another character to the TV pop culture hive mind in the new series Brockmire. Check out the trailer below.

Based on the following Funny or Die short and co-starring Amanda Peet, Brockmire follows the story of imploded major league sportscaster Jim Brockmire as he tries to resurrect his career by calling plays for a floundering minor league team in a podunk town.

The series is written by Joel Church-Cooper (Undateable) and produced by Funny or Die’s Mike Farah and Joe Farrell, meaning that there’s funny in front of the camera, funny behind the camera–funny all around. Sounds like a ball to us.

Brockmire premieres April 5 at 10P on IFC.

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Car Notes

Portlandia On People Who Can’t Park

Portlandia returns tonight at 10P on IFC.

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If flagrant bad parking takes nerve, then retaliatory note writing takes neuroses. Watch Fred and Carrie take passive aggression to next level in Car Notes, the new Portlandia web series presented by Subaru. The first episode is yours right here and now, and you can see every installment of Car Notes anytime online, on the IFC app and on demand.

Portlandia returns tonight at 10P on IFC.

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