Epic Movie Crispin Glover

Epic Fail

5 Reasons Epic Movie is Too Rotten to Miss

Catch Epic Movie Friday at 8P during IFC's Rotten Fridays.

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Photo Credit: 20th Century Fox/Everett Collection

There are rotten movies, and then there is Epic Movie. From the “minds” behind Meet the Spartans and Vampires Suck comes yet another movie that mistakes dated pop culture references and cameos from the flavor of the moment for an actual plot or clever jokes. With IFC and Rotten Tomatoes celebrating this “too rotten to miss” movie Friday night at 8P, we thought we’d look back at five of the many reasons Epic Movie (2% on Rotten Tomatoes!) along with those vampires, truly sucks.

5. One Rotten Cast

Willy Wonka Epic Movie
20th Century Fox

It’s hard to explain why Crispin Glover does things. Sometimes he takes a part in Charlie’s Angels and refuses to speak, and sometimes he slaps on some pancake makeup, reminds himself he was once in Back to the Future and stifles the screams with piles of cash. That seems to be his thinking here, because there’s no way he read the “script” and thought, “Now this is a project I want to be a part of!” Nor did he look through the cast list, and realize his lifelong ambition was to share the screen with Carmen Electra, Playmate Sara Jean Underwood and a Michael Jackson impersonator.


4. White People Rapping

Lazy Sunday Epic Movie
20th Century Fox

How do you spoof a spoof? If you’re writer/directors Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer, the answer is as lazy as possible. “Lazy Pirate Afternoon” takes the clever premise, tight rhymes and inventive spark of the original SNL Digital Short, “Lazy Sunday,” and adds pirates. Because remember when Johnny Depp in eyeliner in Pirates of the Caribbean was a new thing?? It’s this sort of hack comedy math (reference + reference = joke?) that is Epic Movie‘s bread and butter. But, hey, SNL‘s Taran Killam shows up as a pirate! That’s, uh, something, right?


3. Truly Rotten Jokes

Star Wars Epic Movie
20th Century Fox

Good jokes take a premise and subvert it in some way that’s surprising, and God willing, humorous. The Epic Movie gang could use someone to lay out that simple premise, because they clearly wake up in flop sweat every morning, trying to understand what causes people to emit those laughing noises from their mouths. Their solution to this confusion seems to be ending every single shot with someone getting punched in the face, knocked to the ground or nailed in the nards. Sometimes, a Z-list celebrity is on the receiving end of the punishment. But really, it’s the audience who is suffering.


2. Dated Pop Culture Parodies

Epic Movie
20th Century Fox

Great parodies (like, say, Airplane! or Documentary Now!) lovingly recreate a genre and add a uniquely absurd twist. Epic Movie has a Cribs parody set in Narnia. It’s two dated pop culture references in one! Watching this movie now, with years of distance between us and Tim Burton’s forgettable Willy Wonka movie, just makes Epic Movie‘s spoof all the more bewildering. This is a disposable movie mocking other disposable movies, creating a void where it is virtually impossible to remember a single detail the minute the film comes to an end.


1. Seriously, So Many Rotten Parodies…

Epic Movie X-Men
20th Century Fox

After working on all of the Scary Movies, Date Movie and other cheap parodies, Friedberg and Seltzer clearly ran out of gags. How else do you explain the scene where Carmen Electra parodies Rebecca Romijn as Mystique several years after she played the role in the X-Men movies? Also, did we mention the scene is set to the overplayed Nelly Furtado song “Promiscuous”? And that Lauren Conrad from MTV’s The Hills is also there, because why not at this point? This one moment sums up everything rotten about Epic Movie.

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Home Run

Hank Azaria Gets Thrown A Curve Ball

Brockmire Premieres April 5 at 10P

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Photo Credit: Everett Collection

Unless you’ve somehow missed every episode of the Simpsons since 1989, then surely you know that Hank Azaria is one of the most important character actors of our time. He’s so prolific and his voice is so dynamic that he’s responsible for more iconic personalities than most folks realize. Basically, he’s the great and powerful Oz — except that when you pull back the curtain the truth is actually more impressive. And now Hank is coming to IFC to bring yet another character to the TV pop culture hive mind in the new series Brockmire. Check out the trailer below.

Based on the following Funny or Die short and co-starring Amanda Peet, Brockmire follows the story of imploded major league sportscaster Jim Brockmire as he tries to resurrect his career by calling plays for a floundering minor league team in a podunk town.

The series is written by Joel Church-Cooper (Undateable) and produced by Funny or Die’s Mike Farah and Joe Farrell, meaning that there’s funny in front of the camera, funny behind the camera–funny all around. Sounds like a ball to us.

Brockmire premieres April 5 at 10P on IFC.

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Car Notes

Portlandia On People Who Can’t Park

Portlandia returns tonight at 10P on IFC.

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If flagrant bad parking takes nerve, then retaliatory note writing takes neuroses. Watch Fred and Carrie take passive aggression to next level in Car Notes, the new Portlandia web series presented by Subaru. The first episode is yours right here and now, and you can see every installment of Car Notes anytime online, on the IFC app and on demand.

Portlandia returns tonight at 10P on IFC.

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Nick Kroll and John Mulaney To Host Spirit Awards

The Spirit Awards Air February 25 LIVE on IFC.

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The 2017 Spirit Awards have finally found their frontmen: Nick Kroll and John Mulaney. And it’s no wonder. Just marvel in their splendid chemistry back when they appeared on Comedy Bang! Bang!:

The pair are prolific within the performing arts community: television (Kroll in The League and The Kroll Show, Mulaney as a writer of IFC’s own Documentary Now!), theater (including Broadway’s current Oh Hello Show), and stand-up comedy. In fact, it’s entirely possible that emceeing an awards show is one of the few remaining line items on their professional bucket lists.

It’s important to caveat this announcement, however. Unlike the bigger and more ubiquitously known awards shows, the Spirit Awards are not, well…boring. (We’re talking to you, Oscar.)

They’re funny. They’re honest. They have quality to match the red-carpet fanfare. And that’s alarmingly special. Last year’s show included some legitimately historic moments, like when transgender actress Mya Taylor won best supporting female, or Kate McKinnon’s hilarious and timely parody of Carol. See more highlights here to get the flavor of the Spirit Awards and read all about Film Independent to dig deeper.

The 2017 Spirit Awards air live February 25 at 5P ET exclusively on IFC.

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