Epic Movie Crispin Glover

Epic Fail

5 Reasons Epic Movie is Too Rotten to Miss

Catch Epic Movie Friday at 8P during IFC's Rotten Fridays.

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Photo Credit: 20th Century Fox/Everett Collection

There are rotten movies, and then there is Epic Movie. From the “minds” behind Meet the Spartans and Vampires Suck comes yet another movie that mistakes dated pop culture references and cameos from the flavor of the moment for an actual plot or clever jokes. With IFC and Rotten Tomatoes celebrating this “too rotten to miss” movie Friday night at 8P, we thought we’d look back at five of the many reasons Epic Movie (2% on Rotten Tomatoes!) along with those vampires, truly sucks.

5. One Rotten Cast

Willy Wonka Epic Movie
20th Century Fox

It’s hard to explain why Crispin Glover does things. Sometimes he takes a part in Charlie’s Angels and refuses to speak, and sometimes he slaps on some pancake makeup, reminds himself he was once in Back to the Future and stifles the screams with piles of cash. That seems to be his thinking here, because there’s no way he read the “script” and thought, “Now this is a project I want to be a part of!” Nor did he look through the cast list, and realize his lifelong ambition was to share the screen with Carmen Electra, Playmate Sara Jean Underwood and a Michael Jackson impersonator.


4. White People Rapping

Lazy Sunday Epic Movie
20th Century Fox

How do you spoof a spoof? If you’re writer/directors Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer, the answer is as lazy as possible. “Lazy Pirate Afternoon” takes the clever premise, tight rhymes and inventive spark of the original SNL Digital Short, “Lazy Sunday,” and adds pirates. Because remember when Johnny Depp in eyeliner in Pirates of the Caribbean was a new thing?? It’s this sort of hack comedy math (reference + reference = joke?) that is Epic Movie‘s bread and butter. But, hey, SNL‘s Taran Killam shows up as a pirate! That’s, uh, something, right?


3. Truly Rotten Jokes

Star Wars Epic Movie
20th Century Fox

Good jokes take a premise and subvert it in some way that’s surprising, and God willing, humorous. The Epic Movie gang could use someone to lay out that simple premise, because they clearly wake up in flop sweat every morning, trying to understand what causes people to emit those laughing noises from their mouths. Their solution to this confusion seems to be ending every single shot with someone getting punched in the face, knocked to the ground or nailed in the nards. Sometimes, a Z-list celebrity is on the receiving end of the punishment. But really, it’s the audience who is suffering.


2. Dated Pop Culture Parodies

Epic Movie
20th Century Fox

Great parodies (like, say, Airplane! or Documentary Now!) lovingly recreate a genre and add a uniquely absurd twist. Epic Movie has a Cribs parody set in Narnia. It’s two dated pop culture references in one! Watching this movie now, with years of distance between us and Tim Burton’s forgettable Willy Wonka movie, just makes Epic Movie‘s spoof all the more bewildering. This is a disposable movie mocking other disposable movies, creating a void where it is virtually impossible to remember a single detail the minute the film comes to an end.


1. Seriously, So Many Rotten Parodies…

Epic Movie X-Men
20th Century Fox

After working on all of the Scary Movies, Date Movie and other cheap parodies, Friedberg and Seltzer clearly ran out of gags. How else do you explain the scene where Carmen Electra parodies Rebecca Romijn as Mystique several years after she played the role in the X-Men movies? Also, did we mention the scene is set to the overplayed Nelly Furtado song “Promiscuous”? And that Lauren Conrad from MTV’s The Hills is also there, because why not at this point? This one moment sums up everything rotten about Epic Movie.

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Holiday Extra Special

Make The Holidays ’80s Again

Enjoy the holiday cheer Wednesday December 21 at 10P on IFC.

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Photo Credit: Everett Collection

Whatever happened to the kind of crazy-yet-cozy holiday specials that blanketed the early winter airwaves of the 1980s? Unceremoniously killed by infectious ’90s jadedness? Slow fade out at the hands of early-onset millennial ennui? Whatever the reason, nixing the tradition was a huge mistake.

A huge mistake that we’re about to fix.

Announcing IFC’s Joe’s Pub Presents: A Holiday Special, starring Tony Hale. It’s a celeb-studded extravaganza in the glorious tradition of yesteryear featuring Bridget Everett, Jo Firestone, Nick Thune, Jen Kirkman, house band The Dap-Kings, and many more. And it’s at Joe’s Pub, everyone’s favorite home away from home in the Big Apple.

The yuletide cheer explodes Wednesday December 21 at 10P. But if you were born after 1989 and have no idea what void this spectacular special is going to fill, sample from this vintage selection of holiday hits:

Andy Williams and The NBC Kids Search For Santa

The quintessential holiday special. Get snuggly and turn off your brain. You won’t need it.

A Muppet Family Christmas

The Fraggles. The Muppets. The Sesame Street gang. Fate. The Jim Henson multiverse merges in this warm and fuzzy Holiday gathering.

Julie Andrews: The Sound Of Christmas

To this day a foolproof antidote to holiday cynicism. It’s cheesy, but a good cheese. In this case an Alpine Gruyère.

Star Wars Holiday Special

Okay, busted. This one was released in 1978. Still totally ’80s though. And yes that’s Bea Arthur.

Pee Wee’s Playhouse Christmas Special

Pass the eggnog, and make sure it’s loaded. This special is everything you’d expect it to be and much, much more.

Joe’s Pub Presents: A Holiday Special premieres Wednesday December 21 at 10P on IFC.

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It Ain't Over Yet

A Guide to Coping with the End of Comedy Bang! Bang!

Watch the final episodes tonight at 11 and 11:30P on IFC.

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After five seasons and 110 halved-hour episodes, Scott Aukerman’s hipster comedy opus, Comedy Bang! Bang!, has come to an end. Fridays at 11 and 11:30P will never be the same. We know it can be hard for fans to adjust after the series finale of their favorite TV show. That’s why we’ve prepared this step-by-step guide to managing your grief.

Step One: Cry it out

It’s just natural. We’re sad too.
Scott crying GIF

Step Two: Read the CB!B! IMDB Trivia Page

The show is over and it feels like you’ve lost a friend. But how well did you really know this friend? Head over to Comedy Bang! Bang!’s IMDB page to find out some things you may not have known…like that it’s “based on a Civil War battle of the same name” or that “Reggie Watts was actually born with the name Theodore Leopold The Third.”

Step Three: Listen to the podcast

One fascinating piece of CB!B! trivia that you might not learn from IMDB is that there’s a podcast that shares the same name as the TV show. It’s even hosted by Scott Aukerman! It’s not exactly like watching the TV show on a Friday night, but that’s only because each episode is released Monday morning. If you close your eyes, the podcast is just like watching the show with your eyes closed!

Step Four: Watch brand new CB!B! clips?!

The best way to cope with the end of Comedy Bang! Bang! is to completely ignore that it’s over — because it’s not. In an unprecedented move, IFC is opening up the bonus CB!B! content vault. There are four brand new, never-before-seen sketches featuring Scott Aukerman, Kid Cudi, and “Weird Al” Yankovic ready for you to view on the IFC App. There’s also one right here, below this paragraph! Watch all four b-b-bonus clips and feel better.

Binge the entire final season, plus exclusive sketches, right now on the IFC app.

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Everybody Sweats Now

The Four-Day Sweatsgiving Weekend On IFC

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This long holiday weekend is your time to gobble gobble gobble and give heartfelt thanks—thanks for the comfort and forgiveness of sweatpants. Because when it comes right down to it, there’s nothing more wholesome and American than stuffing yourself stupid and spending endless hours in front of the TV in your softest of softests.

So get the sweats, grab the remote and join IFC for four perfect days of entertainment.

sweatsgiving
It all starts with a 24-hour T-day marathon of Rocky Horror Picture Show, then continues Friday with an all-day binge of Stan Against Evil.

By Saturday, the couch will have molded to your shape. Which is good, because you’ll be nestled in for back-to-back Die Hard and Lethal Weapon.

Finally, come Sunday it’s time to put the sweat back in your sweatpants with The Shining, The Exorcist, The Chronicles of Riddick, Terminator 2, and Blade: Trinity. They totally count as cardio.

As if you need more convincing, here’s Martha Wash and the IFC&C Music Factory to hammer the point home.

The Sweatsgiving Weekend starts Thursday on IFC

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