Rocky Stallone boxing ring

Loveable Losers

10 Movies Where Losing Is More Important Than Winning

Catch an all day Rocky movie marathon Saturday, August 20th on IFC.

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For most of us, moral victories, silver linings, and a game well-played are tough concessions when conceding defeat. But thanks to the eponymous palooka in the 1976 Oscar-winner Rocky, we’re reminded that just about anyone — from a plucky underdog to a conniving villain to a stalemated supercomputer — can find victory within a loss.

In honor of IFC’s Rocky movie marathon, cheer on 10 memorable characters who won by losing.

1. The Bad News Bears

Moviegoers in 1976 lauded another film where outmatched protagonists suffer a disappointing loss but still celebrate the hard-fought journey to get there. The always-great Walter Matthau corrals a ragtag group of misfits and miscreants into a wisecracking group of decent ballplayers. And while their 7-6 loss to the Yankees at the end should be devastating for how close they got to winning, the kids triumphantly douse each other with foamy beer and vow to get ’em next year. (Click here to see all airings of The Bad News Bears on IFC.)


2. Inside Out

Responsible for more sniffles and watery eyes than ragweed, Pixar has cornered the market on bittersweet endings. And just when audiences had gotten over the beginning of Up, the studio chainsaws their heartstrings with Inside Out where a young girl named Riley discovers the complexities of emotion via anthropomorphic feelings. Thrust into a new school, misunderstood by her parents, and on the verge of running away, Riley (along with her subconscious fleet) learns that waving a white flag and admitting defeat can still result in comfort, resilience, and growth. (R.I.P. Bing Bong.)


3. WarGames

An out-of-control supercomputer nearly goes thermonuclear in this geeky 1983 classic, and it’s up to whizkid David (Matthew Broderick) to teach the mainframe that nobody really wins a war. And because this is a pre-internet, Reagan-era family film, this is somehow achieved by the computer playing tic-tac-toe with itself. After a quick succession of stalemates and losses, the computer concludes that, in war, the only winning move is not to play and subsequently cancels Armageddon. Here’s hoping the Singularity will be this morally proverbial.


4. Kingpin

Nobody likes to lose, much less a down-and-out bowler whose name is synonymous with screwing everything up. Roy Munson, played perfectly by Woody Harrelson, climbs his way out of drunken obscurity (which isn’t easy with only one hand) to match skills, wits, and combovers with dastardly villain Ernie McCracken, also played perfectly by Bill Murray. Unfortunately, Munson’s all-but-secured win is snatched away by McCracken’s lucky roll, and although Roy is denied the trophy and winnings, he earns a $500,000 endorsement from Trojan thanks to his rubber prosthetic hand.


5. School of Rock

In arguably his best “lovable loser” role, Jack Black plays a substitute teacher conning a group of gifted school kids into helping him win a Battle of the Bands contest. Antics and hijinks ensue, as Black and his merry band of kids rock the venue in front of a thoroughly entertained crowd. But it isn’t until the kids are deemed runners-up by the judges that the audience practically stages an uprising and inspires Black’s character to open a literal rock school.


6. The Matrix Revolutions

The Matrix franchise gets downright biblical in its depiction of “Good vs. Evil” and how the fate of the world depends on the heroes’ win. And without getting too deep into the scrambled mythology (or diminishing returns) of the sequels, virtual messiah Neo sacrifices himself for the good of humanity (sound familiar?) and is assimilated into Agent Smith’s cackling clutches. However, Neo’s death allows the machines to locate the rogue agent, hit F5 on the bug-ridden Matrix, and perhaps create a better world for all the coaxial brains out there.


7. Se7en

When it comes to serial killer movies, nobody murders just for the fun of it. There’s gotta be this whole grand scheme, metaphorically tying each death to a deadly sin or Walt Whitman poem or something. (And who really has the time for that?) At any rate, Kevin Spacey plays a killer with the patience of a saint who orchestrates a series of murders to highlight how nonchalant we’ve become to our own depravity. And for the sake of a poignant completion, his whole plan requires one final sin — his own death — for it to really drive the message home. All it takes is only small game of “What’s in the Box?” for him to succeed.


8. The Dark Knight

There’s no loss more infuriating than the one reluctantly taken for the greater good, as nutty billionaire Bruce Wayne could attest to at the end of The Dark Knight. After he’s broken his no-kill rule with the death of Harvey Dent, Batman takes the blame for Dent’s body count, ensures the criminals Dent convicted stay in jail, and preserves the illusion of Gotham’s noble White Knight — the true hero in their eyes. By losing, Batman becomes the hero that Gotham needs.


9. Terminator 2: Judgment Day

With their liquid-metal foe vanquished and spare Terminator parts thrown into molten lava, our exhausted heroes of James Cameron’s bombastic Terminator 2: Judgment Day surely can call it a day, right? Unfortunately, there’s one last computer chip that can still result in a machine uprising — and it’s in the head of baddie-turned-goodie T-800 played by Arnold Schwarzenegger. For the good of humanity, the Connor’s family cyborg lowers himself into the flaming vat, preventing Cyberdyne from orchestrating armageddon. Subpar sequels, alas, were still in the cards.


10. The Game

Typically, the moment you step off the edge of a building, you’ve lost whatever game you were playing. That’s what director David Fincher had Michael Douglas and the audience believe at the climax of 1997’s mindscrew The Game. But after nearly two hours of “Is this part of The Game or isn’t it?”, a rooftop plunge into breakaway glass and an inflated cushion prove Douglas didn’t accidentally murder his brother (played by Sean Penn) and the whole live-action roleplaying affair was a means to keep Douglas from killing himself like their workaholic father — despite how close he came to it.

Get pumped for IFC’s Rocky marathon! 

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Very NSFW

The Brockmire Premiere Is All Truth

Watch The First Episode of Brockmire Right Now for Free

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GIFS via Giphy

At long last, the Brockmire pre-premiere has arrived. Which means you can watch it right now—on IFC.com, at Funny Or Die, on IFC’s Apple TV and mobile apps, on Youtube, on Facebook, on the AMC apps, and right here. So grab some headphones and get watching.

No seriously, get headphones.

Because whether he’s giving a play-by-play or ruminating on the world around him, Jim Brockmire calls it like he sees it. And how he sees it is very NSFW. His take on life is actually quite refreshing, even to the point of being profoundly sage. For proof just look at these pearls of unconventional wisdom from the premiere…

Brockmire On The Internet

“If I need porn I just buy a nudie mag, like my father and his father before him.”

Brockmire On Sex-Ed

“Kids, a strap-on is a belt with d— on it that mommies use to f— daddies.”
Brockmire-Strap-On

Brockmire On The Perfect High

“Somewhere between 10 cups of coffee and very low-grade cocaine.”
Brockmire-Perfect-High

Brockmire On The Tardiness of Spring

“Old man winter’s reaching his hand inside your coat to give that thing one more squeeze.”

Brockmire On Keeping Perspective

“I thought I hit rock bottom in a handicap restroom in Bangkok where a Thai lady-boy snorted crank off my johnson while a sunburnt German watched us on the toilet”
Brockmire-grain-salt

Brockmire On Humanity

“If you want to look directly into the gaping maw of oblivion, don’t look up to the heavens. Just look in the mirror.”
Jules-never-seen

See these nuggets and more in the first episode of Brockmire, and see the whole season beginning April 5 at 10P on IFC.

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Thank Azaria

Best. Characters. Ever.

Our favorite Hank Azaria characters.

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Hank Azaria may well be the most prolific voice and character actor of our time. The work he’s done for The Simpsons alone has earned him a permanent place in the pop culture zeitgeist. And now he’s bringing another character to the mainstream: a washed-up sports announcer named Jim Brockmire, in the aptly titled new series Brockmire.

We’re looking forward to it. So much so that we want to look backward, too, with a short-but-sweet retrospective of some of Azaria’s important characters. Shall we begin?

Half The Recurring Simpsons Characters

He’s Comic Book Guy. He’s Chief Wiggum. He’s Apu. He’s Cletus. He’s Snake. He’s Superintendent Chalmers. He’s the Sea Captain. He’s Kurt “Can I Borrow A Feeling” Van Houten. He’s Professor Frink. He’s Carl. And he’s many more. But most importantly he’s Moe Szyslak, the staple character Azaria has voiced since his very first audition for The Simpsons.

Oh, and He’s Frank Grimes

For all the regular Simpsons characters Azaria has played over the years, his most brilliant performance may have been a one-off: Frank Grimes, the scrappy bootstrapper who worked tirelessly all his life for honest, incremental, and easily-undermined success. Azaria’s portrayal of this character was nuanced, emotional, and simply magical.

Patches O’Houlihan

Dodgeball is a “sport of violence, exclusion and degradation.” as Hank Azaria generously points out in his brief but crucial cameo in Dodgeball. That’s sage wisdom. Try applying his “five D’s” to your life on and off the court and enjoy the results.

Harold Zoid

Of Futurama fame. The crazy uncle of Dr. Zoidberg, Harold Zoid was once a lion (or lobster) of the silver screen until Smell-o-vision forced him into retirement.

Agador

The Birdcage was significant for many reasons, and the comic genius of Hank Azaria’s character “Agador” sits somewhere towards the top of that list. If you haven’t seen this movie, shame on you.

Gargamel

Nobody else could make a live-action Gargamel possible.

Ed Cochran

From Ray Donovan. Great character, great last name [editorial note: the author of this article may be bias].

Kahmunra, The Thinker, Abe Lincoln

All in the Night At The Museum: Battle Of The Smithsonian, a file that let Azaria flex his voice acting and live-action muscles in one fell swoop.

The Blue Raja

Mystery Men has everything, including a fatal case of Smash Mouth. Azaria’s iconic superhero makes the shortlist of redeemable qualities, though.

Dr. Huff

Huff put Azaria in a leading role, and it was good. So good that there is no good gif of it. Internet? More like Inter-not.

Learn more about Hank Azaria’s newest claim to fame right here, and don’t miss the premiere of Brockmire April 5 at 10P on IFC.

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Flame Out

Brockmire and Other Public Implosions

Brockmire Premieres April 5 at 10P on IFC.

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There’s less than a month until the Brockmire premiere, and to say we’re excited would be an insulting understatement. It’s not just that it stars Hank Azaria, who can do no wrong (and yes, that’s including Mystery Men, which is only cringeworthy because of Smash Mouth). It’s that the whole backstory of the titular character, Jim Brockmire, is the stuff of legends. A one-time iconic sportscaster who won the hearts of fans and players alike, he fell from grace after an unfortunate personal event triggered a seriously public meltdown. See for yourself in the NSFW Funny or Die digital short that spawned the IFC series:

See? NSFW and spectacularly catastrophic in a way that could almost be real. Which got us thinking: What are some real-life sports fails that have nothing to do with botched athletics and everything to do with going tragically off script? The internet is a dark and dirty place, friends, but these three examples are pretty special and mostly safe for work…

Disgruntled Sports Reporter

His co-anchor went offsides and he called it like he saw it.

Jim Rome vs Jim “Not Chris” Everett

You just don’t heckle a professional athlete when you’re within striking distance. Common sense.

Carl Lewis’s National Anthem

He killed it! As in murdered. It’s dead.

To see more moments just like these, we recommend spending a day in your pajamas combing through the muckiness of the internet. But to see something that’s Brockmire-level funny without having to clear your browser history, check out the sneak peeks and extras here.

Don’t miss the premiere of Brockmire April 5 at 10P on IFC.

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