Troll 2

Too Rotten to Miss

10 Rotten Movies We Love

Catch "rotten" movies Fridays at 8P on IFC.

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Photo Credit: Epic Productions

Sure, you can use Rotten Tomatoes to find the next Oscar contenders or brilliant indie films. Or, the Tomatometer can help you find the movies so horrible they transcend into something great. As you’re watching IFC’s “Too Rotten To Miss” movies every Friday, here are a few more spectacular failures to add to your “must see” list.

1. The Room

It’s hard to believe there was ever a time that Tommy Wiseau’s “so-bad-it’s-good” phenomenon was just a small low-budget film that played at a handful of theaters in 2003. The Room has since taken on a life of its own as a cult classic thanks to laughable acting, highly quoteable dialogue (“You’re tearing me aparrrt!“) and a director/writer/star who has been described as a “21st Century Ed Wood.”


2. Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band

Universal
Universal Studios

If you can’t get the Beatles to play themselves, what band would be the next best thing? Why, the Bee Gees of course! This nonsensical disaster has Peter Frampton and the “Stayin’ Alive” group (as the Lonely Hearts Club Band) travel around to find their missing magical instruments. It also features a girl resurrected from the dead, Billy Preston playing a weather vane, and Alice Cooper as a floating head. But all that Beatles music must be great, right? Well, when it’s sung by Halloween star Donald Pleasence, Steve Martin, and a pair of robots, even the Beatles loses it luster. This movie is so crazy, it must be seen. Just have the original album of Sgt. Pepper’s at the ready to get George Burn’s rendition of “Fixing a Hole” out of your head.


3. Manos: The Hands of Fate

Emerson
Emerson Film Enterprises

It’s not surprising to find this film came from the mind of an El Paso fertilizer salesman on a dare. The confusing tale of mysterious master with a coven of wives was written/directed/produced by Hal Warren. Warren, already familiar with working with poo, bet a screenwriter friend that making a movie was so easy, even he could do it. Luckily, he got a lot of help from his friend Tom Neyman, an artist and community theater actor. Neyman was so helpful, he created all the props and costumes for the film, got his daughter and dog to be in it, and had the perfect mustache to play the villainous lead. Made famous through Mystery Science Theater 3000 and Rifftrax, Manos: Hands of Fate has a cult following that recently funded a Kickstarter campaign to make Manos Returns. So, get your handprint mumus and enslaved wives ready, cause Manos’ hands are not done with fate.


4. Silent Night, Deadly Night Part 2

This sequel to the 1984 holiday horror favorite has earned a cult following thanks to a hilariously bad performance from lead Eric Freeman. The moment when Ricky (Freeman) shoots a neighbor and yells “Garbage Day!” has taken on a new life as a popular Internet meme.


5. Showgirls

MGM
MGM

In the last 25 years, nothing has stopped careers in their tracks like Showgirls. Though it’s a film most known for the super high boobs-per-minute ratio, it’s actually very entertaining. Because it’s completely insane. Much of it is too obscene to mention here, but Showgirls at the very least is full of surprises. If nothing else, Google the pool scene to witness the majestic madness that is Elizabeth Berkley as “dancer”/stripper Nomi Malone.


6. The Legend of the Titanic

The Legend of the Titanic is an Italian animated film that tried to ride the coattails of the far more successful Titanic a few years too late. Instead of focusing on class issues at the turn of the century and a love for the ages, Legend tells the story of a bunch of mice and evil sharks, and ends with whales and a weird-looking octopus actually saving every single person on the sinking ship. If that’s not enough to pique your interest, please watch the clip above for one of the most abrupt and bizarre musical numbers of all time.


7. Rockula

Cannon
The Cannon Group, Inc.

There have been a lot of vampire movies, but have there been any films about vampires that can ROCK? Sadly, yes. Rockula is a “comedy” about a vampire cursed to watch his love be killed over and over, but also he becomes a rock star. It has rare film roles for Toni Basil of “Mickey” fame and Thomas “She Blinded Me With Science” Dolby. Since it was made in 1990, it also features a horrible rap song. So, if you’re sad that True Blood and Twilight are over, you can settle for a rockin’, rappin’ Drac to haunt your dreams.


8. Troll 2

With a whopping 6% rating on Rotten Tomatoes, Troll 2 has earned a cult following amongst bad movie aficionados thanks to its cheap special effects, amateurish acting, and bizarre lack of trolls. Ostensibly a sequel to the 1986 horror film Troll, Troll 2 inspired the documentary Best Worst Movie, which details the many production problems that can occur when you have an American cast and an Italian crew who doesn’t speak English.


9. Can’t Stop the Music

ITC
ITC Entertainment

Another hit band of the ’70s makes the list with Can’t Stop the Music, the Village People’s one and only film. Starring Caitlyn Jenner back when she was known as Bruce Jenner and Steve Guttenberg, this movie features a lot of cut-off shorts and not a lot of plot. There’s a song that tells you how to make a milkshake and why milkshakes are great. This movie is so odd, you can’t look away and you’ll have a newfound appreciation for the Village People. Well, maybe not appreciation, but you’ll be able to name their repertoire outside of “YMCA.”


10. The Apple

The Apple is the movie that makes Xanadu look like Singin’ in the Rain. Made by the notoriously awful Cannon Films, this 1980 sci-fi musical brings us to the terrifying future of 1994. An evil music corporation runs the world and our heroes are lured into their scheme. The songs are perfectly bad/good with a Deus Ex Machina ending that literally falls out of the sky. If you love rotten movies, this is one of the all time greats. So, go ahead and take a bite of The Apple…if you dare!

Catch “too rotten to miss” movies every Friday on IFC!

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Hard Out

Comedy From The Closet

Janice and Jeffrey Available Now On IFC's Comedy Crib

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She’s been referred to as “the love child of Amy Sedaris and Tracy Ullman,” and he’s a self-described “Italian who knows how to cook a great spaghetti alla carbonara.” They’re Mollie Merkel and Matteo Lane, prolific indie comedians who blended their robust creative juices to bring us the new Comedy Crib series Janice and Jeffrey. Mollie and Matteo took time to answer our probing questions about their series and themselves. Here’s a taste.

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IFC: How would you describe Janice and Jeffrey to a fancy network executive you met in an elevator?

Mollie & Matteo: Janice and Jeffrey is about a married couple experiencing intimacy issues but who don’t have a clue it’s because they are gay. Their oblivion makes them even more endearing.  Their total lack of awareness provides for a buffet of comedy.

IFC: What’s your origin story? How did you two people meet and how long have you been working together?

Mollie: We met at a dive bar in Wrigley Field Chicago. It was a show called Entertaining Julie… It was a cool variety scene with lots of talented people. I was doing Janice one night and Matteo was doing an impression of Liza Minnelli. We sort of just fell in love with each other’s… ACT! Matteo made the first move and told me how much he loved Janice and I drove home feeling like I just met someone really special.

IFC: How would Janice describe Jeffrey?

Mollie: “He can paint, cook homemade Bolognese, and sing Opera. Not to mention he has a great body. He makes me feel empowered and free. He doesn’t suffocate me with attention so our love has room to breath.”

IFC: How would Jeffrey describe Janice?

Matteo: “Like a Ford. Built to last.”

IFC: Why do you think the world is ready for this series?

Mollie & Matteo: Our current political world is mirroring and reflecting this belief that homosexuality is wrong. So what better time for satire. Everyone is so pro gay and equal rights, which is of course what we want, too. But no one is looking at middle America and people actually in the closet. No one is saying, hey this is really painful and tragic, and sitting with that. Having compassion but providing the desperate relief of laughter…This seemed like the healthiest, best way to “fight” the gay rights “fight”.

IFC: Hummus is hilarious. Why is it so funny?

Mollie: It just seems like something people take really seriously, which is funny to me. I started to see it in a lot of lesbians’ refrigerators at a time. It’s like observing a lesbian in a comfortable shoe. It’s a language we speak. Pass the Hummus. Turn on the Indigo Girls would ya?

See the whole season of Janice and Jeffrey right now on IFC’s Comedy Crib.

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Die Hard Dads

Inspiration For Die Hard Dads

Die Hard is on IFC all Father's Day Long

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Photo Credit: Everett Collection, GIPHY

Yippee ki-yay, everybody! It’s time to celebrate the those most literal of mother-effers: dads!

And just in case the title of this post left anything to the imagination, IFC is giving dads balls-to-the-wall ’80s treatment with a glorious marathon of action trailblazer Die Hard.

There are so many things we could say about Die Hard. We could talk about how it was comedian Bruce Willis’s first foray into action flicks, or Alan Rickman’s big screen debut. But dads don’t give a sh!t about that stuff.

No, dads just want to fantasize that they could be deathproof quip factory John McClane in their own mundane lives. So while you celebrate the fathers in your life, consider how John McClane would respond to these traditional “dad” moments…

Wedding Toasts

Dads always struggle to find the right words of welcome to extend to new family. John McClane, on the other hand, is the master of inclusivity.
Die Hard wedding

Using Public Restrooms

While nine out of ten dads would rather die than use a disgusting public bathroom, McClane isn’t bothered one bit. So long as he can fit a bloody foot in the sink, he’s G2G.
Die Hard restroom

Awkward Dancing

Because every dad needs a signature move.
Die Hard dance

Writing Thank You Notes

It can be hard for dads to express gratitude. Not only can McClane articulate his thanks, he makes it feel personal.
Die Hard thank you

Valentine’s Day

How would John McClane say “I heart you” in a way that ain’t cliche? The image speaks for itself.
Die Hard valentines

Shopping

The only thing most dads hate more than shopping is fielding eleventh-hour phone calls with additional items for the list. But does McClane throw a typical man-tantrum? Nope. He finds the words to express his feelings like a goddam adult.
Die Hard thank you

Last Minute Errands

John McClane knows when a fight isn’t worth fighting.
Die Hard errands

Sneaking Out Of The Office Early

What is this, high school? Make a real exit, dads.
Die Hard office

Think you or your dad could stand to be more like Bruce? Role model fodder abounds in the Die Hard marathon all Father’s Day long on IFC.

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Founding Farters

Know Your Nerd History

Revenge of the Nerds is on IFC.

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Photo Credit: Everett Collection, GIFs via Giphy

That we live in the heyday of nerds is no hot secret. Scientists are celebrities, musicians are robots and late night hosts can recite every word of the Silmarillion. It’s too easy to think that it’s always been this way. But the truth is we owe much to our nerd forebearers who toiled through the jock-filled ’80s so that we might take over the world.

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Our humble beginnings are perhaps best captured in iconic ’80s romp Revenge of the Nerds. Like the founding fathers of our Country, the titular nerds rose above their circumstances to culturally pave the way for every Colbert and deGrasse Tyson that we know and love today.

To make sure you’re in the know about our very important cultural roots, here’s a quick download of the vengeful nerds without whom our shameful stereotypes might never have evolved.

Lewis Skolnick

The George Washington of nerds whose unflappable optimism – even in the face of humiliating self-awareness – basically gave birth to the Geek Pride movement.

Gilbert Lowe

OK, this guy is wet blanket, but an important wet blanket. Think Aaron Burr to Lin-Manuel Miranda’s Hamilton. His glass-mostly-empty attitude is a galvanizing force for Lewis. Who knows if Lewis could have kept up his optimism without Lowe’s Debbie-Downer outlook?

Arnold Poindexter

A music nerd who, after a soft start (inside joke, you’ll get it later), came out of his shell and let his passion lead instead of his anxiety. If you played an instrument (specifically, electric violin), and you were a nerd, this was your patron saint.

Booger

A sex-loving, blunt-smoking, nose-picking guitar hero. If you don’t think he sounds like a classic nerd, you’re absolutely right. And that’s the whole point. Along with Lamar, he simultaneously expanded the definition of nerd and gave pre-existing nerds a twisted sort of cred by association.

Lamar Latrell

Black, gay, and a crazy good breakdancer. In other words, a total groundbreaker. He proved to the world that nerds don’t have a single mold, but are simply outcasts waiting for their moment.

Ogre

Exceedingly stupid, this dumbass was monumental because he (in a sequel) leaves the jocks to become a nerd. Totally unheard of back then. Now all jocks are basically nerds.

Well, there they are. Never forget that we stand on their shoulders.

Revenge of the Nerds is on IFC all month long.

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