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Too Rotten to Miss

10 Rotten Movies We Love

Catch "rotten" movies Fridays at 8P on IFC.

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Photo Credit: Epic Productions

Sure, you can use Rotten Tomatoes to find the next Oscar contenders or brilliant indie films. Or, the Tomatometer can help you find the movies so horrible they transcend into something great. As you’re watching IFC’s “Too Rotten To Miss” movies every Friday, here are a few more spectacular failures to add to your “must see” list.

1. The Room

It’s hard to believe there was ever a time that Tommy Wiseau’s “so-bad-it’s-good” phenomenon was just a small low-budget film that played at a handful of theaters in 2003. The Room has since taken on a life of its own as a cult classic thanks to laughable acting, highly quoteable dialogue (“You’re tearing me aparrrt!“) and a director/writer/star who has been described as a “21st Century Ed Wood.”


2. Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band

Universal
Universal Studios

If you can’t get the Beatles to play themselves, what band would be the next best thing? Why, the Bee Gees of course! This nonsensical disaster has Peter Frampton and the “Stayin’ Alive” group (as the Lonely Hearts Club Band) travel around to find their missing magical instruments. It also features a girl resurrected from the dead, Billy Preston playing a weather vane, and Alice Cooper as a floating head. But all that Beatles music must be great, right? Well, when it’s sung by Halloween star Donald Pleasence, Steve Martin, and a pair of robots, even the Beatles loses it luster. This movie is so crazy, it must be seen. Just have the original album of Sgt. Pepper’s at the ready to get George Burn’s rendition of “Fixing a Hole” out of your head.


3. Manos: The Hands of Fate

Emerson
Emerson Film Enterprises

It’s not surprising to find this film came from the mind of an El Paso fertilizer salesman on a dare. The confusing tale of mysterious master with a coven of wives was written/directed/produced by Hal Warren. Warren, already familiar with working with poo, bet a screenwriter friend that making a movie was so easy, even he could do it. Luckily, he got a lot of help from his friend Tom Neyman, an artist and community theater actor. Neyman was so helpful, he created all the props and costumes for the film, got his daughter and dog to be in it, and had the perfect mustache to play the villainous lead. Made famous through Mystery Science Theater 3000 and Rifftrax, Manos: Hands of Fate has a cult following that recently funded a Kickstarter campaign to make Manos Returns. So, get your handprint mumus and enslaved wives ready, cause Manos’ hands are not done with fate.


4. Silent Night, Deadly Night Part 2

This sequel to the 1984 holiday horror favorite has earned a cult following thanks to a hilariously bad performance from lead Eric Freeman. The moment when Ricky (Freeman) shoots a neighbor and yells “Garbage Day!” has taken on a new life as a popular Internet meme.


5. Showgirls

MGM
MGM

In the last 25 years, nothing has stopped careers in their tracks like Showgirls. Though it’s a film most known for the super high boobs-per-minute ratio, it’s actually very entertaining. Because it’s completely insane. Much of it is too obscene to mention here, but Showgirls at the very least is full of surprises. If nothing else, Google the pool scene to witness the majestic madness that is Elizabeth Berkley as “dancer”/stripper Nomi Malone.


6. The Legend of the Titanic

The Legend of the Titanic is an Italian animated film that tried to ride the coattails of the far more successful Titanic a few years too late. Instead of focusing on class issues at the turn of the century and a love for the ages, Legend tells the story of a bunch of mice and evil sharks, and ends with whales and a weird-looking octopus actually saving every single person on the sinking ship. If that’s not enough to pique your interest, please watch the clip above for one of the most abrupt and bizarre musical numbers of all time.


7. Rockula

Cannon
The Cannon Group, Inc.

There have been a lot of vampire movies, but have there been any films about vampires that can ROCK? Sadly, yes. Rockula is a “comedy” about a vampire cursed to watch his love be killed over and over, but also he becomes a rock star. It has rare film roles for Toni Basil of “Mickey” fame and Thomas “She Blinded Me With Science” Dolby. Since it was made in 1990, it also features a horrible rap song. So, if you’re sad that True Blood and Twilight are over, you can settle for a rockin’, rappin’ Drac to haunt your dreams.


8. Troll 2

With a whopping 6% rating on Rotten Tomatoes, Troll 2 has earned a cult following amongst bad movie aficionados thanks to its cheap special effects, amateurish acting, and bizarre lack of trolls. Ostensibly a sequel to the 1986 horror film Troll, Troll 2 inspired the documentary Best Worst Movie, which details the many production problems that can occur when you have an American cast and an Italian crew who doesn’t speak English.


9. Can’t Stop the Music

ITC
ITC Entertainment

Another hit band of the ’70s makes the list with Can’t Stop the Music, the Village People’s one and only film. Starring Caitlyn Jenner back when she was known as Bruce Jenner and Steve Guttenberg, this movie features a lot of cut-off shorts and not a lot of plot. There’s a song that tells you how to make a milkshake and why milkshakes are great. This movie is so odd, you can’t look away and you’ll have a newfound appreciation for the Village People. Well, maybe not appreciation, but you’ll be able to name their repertoire outside of “YMCA.”


10. The Apple

The Apple is the movie that makes Xanadu look like Singin’ in the Rain. Made by the notoriously awful Cannon Films, this 1980 sci-fi musical brings us to the terrifying future of 1994. An evil music corporation runs the world and our heroes are lured into their scheme. The songs are perfectly bad/good with a Deus Ex Machina ending that literally falls out of the sky. If you love rotten movies, this is one of the all time greats. So, go ahead and take a bite of The Apple…if you dare!

Catch “too rotten to miss” movies every Friday on IFC!

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New Nasty

Whips, Chains and Hand Sanitizer

Turn On The Full Season Of Neurotica At IFC's Comedy Crib

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Jenny Jaffe has a lot going on: She’s writing for Disney’s upcoming Big Hero 6: The Series, developing comedy projects with pals at Devastator Press, and she’s straddling the line between S&M and OCD as the creator and star of the sexyish new series Neurotica, which has just made its debut on IFC’s Comedy Crib. Jenny gave us some extremely intimate insight into what makes Neurotica (safely) sizzle…

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IFC: How would you describe Neurotica to a fancy network executive you met in an elevator?

Jenny: Neurotica is about a plucky Dominatrix with OCD trying to save her small-town dungeon. 

IFC: How would you describe Neurotica to a drunk friend of a friend you met in a bar?

Jenny: Neurotica is about a plucky Dominatrix with OCD trying to save her small-town dungeon. You’re great. We should get coffee sometime. I’m not just saying that. I know other people just say that sometimes but I really feel like we’re going to be friends, you know? Here, what’s your number, I’ll call you so you can have my number! 

IFC: What’s your comedy origin story?

Jenny: Since I was a kid I’ve dealt with severe OCD and anxiety. Comedy has always been one of the ways I’ve dealt with that. I honestly just want to help make people feel happy for a few minutes at a time. 

IFC: What was the genesis of Neurotica?

Jenny: I’m pretty sure it was a title-first situation. I was coming up with ideas to pitch to a production company a million years ago (this isn’t hyperbole; I am VERY old) and just wrote down “Neurotica”; then it just sort of appeared fully formed. “Neurotica? Oh it’s an over-the-top romantic comedy about a Dominatrix with OCD, of course.” And that just happened to hit the buttons of everything I’m fascinated by. 

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IFC: How would you describe Ivy?

Jenny: Ivy is everything I love in a comedy character – she’s tenacious, she’s confident, she’s sweet, she’s a big wonderful weirdo. 

IFC: How would Ivy’s clientele describe her?

Jenny:  Open-minded, caring, excellent aim. 

IFC: Why don’t more small towns have local dungeons?

Jenny: How do you know they don’t? 

IFC: What are the pros and cons of joining a chain mega dungeon?

Jenny: You can use any of their locations but you’ll always forget you have a membership and in a year you’ll be like “jeez why won’t they let me just cancel?” 

IFC: Mouths are gross! Why is that?

Jenny: If you had never seen a mouth before and I was like “it’s a wet flesh cave with sharp parts that lives in your face”, it would sound like Cronenberg-ian body horror. All body parts are horrifying. I’m kind of rooting for the singularity, I’d feel way better if I was just a consciousness in a cloud. 

See the whole season of Neurotica right now on IFC’s Comedy Crib.

The-Craft

The ’90s Are Back

The '90s live again during IFC's weekend marathon.

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Photo Credit: Everett Digital, Columbia Pictures

We know what you’re thinking: “Why on Earth would anyone want to reanimate the decade that gave us Haddaway, Los Del Rio, and Smash Mouth, not to mention Crystal Pepsi?”

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Thoughts like those are normal. After all, we tend to remember lasting psychological trauma more vividly than fleeting joy. But if you dig deep, you’ll rediscover that the ’90s gave us so much to fondly revisit. Consider the four pillars of true ’90s culture.

Boy Bands

We all pretended to hate them, but watch us come alive at a karaoke bar when “I Want It That Way” comes on. Arguably more influential than Brit Pop and Grunge put together, because hello – Justin Timberlake. He’s a legitimate cultural gem.

Man-Child Movies

Adam Sandler is just behind The Simpsons in terms of his influence on humor. Somehow his man-child schtick didn’t get old until the aughts, and his success in that arena ushered in a wave of other man-child movies from fellow ’90s comedians. RIP Chris Farley (and WTF Rob Schneider).

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Teen Angst

In horror, dramas, comedies, and everything in between: Troubled teens! Getting into trouble! Who couldn’t relate to their First World problems, plaid flannels, and lose grasp of the internet?

Mainstream Nihilism

From the Coen Bros to Fincher to Tarantino, filmmakers on the verge of explosive popularity seemed interested in one thing: mind f*cking their audiences by putting characters in situations (and plot lines) beyond anyone’s control.

Feeling better about that walk down memory lane? Good. Enjoy the revival.

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And revisit some important ’90s classics all this weekend during IFC’s ’90s Marathon. Check out the full schedule here.

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Get Physical

DVDs are the new Vinyl

Portlandia Season 7 Now Available On Disc.

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In this crazy digital age, sometimes all we really want is to reach out and touch something. Maybe that’s why so many of us are still gung-ho about owning stuff on DVD. It’s tangible. It’s real. It’s tech from a bygone era that still feels relevant, yet also kitschy and retro. It’s basically vinyl for people born after 1990.

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Inevitably we all have that friend whose love of the disc is so absolutely repellent that he makes the technology less appealing. “The resolution, man. The colors. You can’t get latitude like that on a download.” Go to hell, Tim.

Yes, Tim sucks, and you don’t want to be like Tim, but maybe he’s onto something and DVD is still the future. Here are some benefits that go beyond touch.

It’s Decor and Decorum

With DVDs and a handsome bookshelf you can show off your great taste in film and television without showing off your search history. Good for first dates, dinner parties, family reunions, etc.

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Forget Public Wifi

Warm up that optical drive. No more awkwardly streaming episodes on shady free wifi!

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Inter-not

Internet service goes down. It happens all the time. It could happen right now. Then what? Without a DVD on hand you’ll be forced to make eye contact with your friends and family. Or worse – conversation.

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Self Defense

You can’t throw a download like a ninja star. Think about it.

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If you’d like to experience the benefits DVD ownership yourself, Portlandia Season 7 is now available on DVD and Blue-Ray.