Austin Powers in Goldmember Fat Bastard

Rotten, Baby!

5 Reasons Austin Powers in Goldmember Is Too Rotten to Miss

Get groovy with Austin Powers in Goldmember during IFC's Rotten Fridays.

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Photo Credit: New Line/courtesy Everett Collection

With a 54% rating from Rotten Tomatoes, it’s safe to say Austin Powers in Goldmember isn’t the most “shagadelic” film in the groovy franchise. But we know you love it anyway for its crass yucks, over-the-top characters (Fat Bastard!) and general Beyoncé-ness. With IFC and Rotten Tomatoes teaming up to celebrate “rotten” movies that we can’t help but love, we thought we’d share some reasons why Austin Powers in Goldmember hits our guilty pleasure sweet spot.

5. Michael Caine Gets Groovy.

Michael Caine
New Line Cinema

Following in the footsteps of Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade, cowriter/star Mike Myers took a third Austin entry as an excuse to finally meet the man who sired this “International Man of Mystery.” And who else could it have been than legendary thespian Michael Caine, who helped inspire the part with his performance as Harry Palmer in The Ipcress File? In fact, after finding out that Austin’s glasses were reproductions of the ones he wore as Harry, Caine dusted off the original pair for his turn as Nigel Powers.


4. Oh, Those Cameos!

Tom Cruise
New Line Cinema

Any franchise that goes on too long can start to do some serious navel gazing. By the time this third entry rolled around, what was once a light romp through ’60s spy psychedelia had become a self-reverential cluster, er, fluff. Still, while obsessing over the mythology of such a silly franchise, and introducing ridiculous twists like Austin and Dr. Evil being brothers, may have been a bit much, at least we got a celebrity-filled spoof of the franchise with cameos by everyone from Tom Cruise (Austin Powers) to John Travolta (Goldmember) and Kevin Spacey (Dr. Evil).


3. A New Villain Who Goes for the Gold!

Goldmember
New Line Cinema

As a big bad, Goldmember is nowhere near as memorable as Dr. Evil. But, then again, how could he be? With his Lorne Michaels-inspired speaking patterns, and inability to understand inflation, the son of a a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium was one of the all-time great movie villains. Still, we have to respect Myers for taking a chance here, and trying something new. Goldmember may not be the best bad guy from the series, but with his thick Dutch accent and penchant for eating his own skin flakes, he still had something to offer.


2. Musical Numbers Galore!

Goldmember rap
New Line Cinema

One of the best things about Goldmember is that it’s something of a musical at heart. With three songs — a jazzy opening dance number, a soulful introduction sung by Foxxy Cleopatra (Beyoncé Knowles), and a ridiculous rap from Dr. Evil and Mini-Me — this triquel carves out its own niche in the franchise by putting a beat to it.


1. Scott Aukerman is in it! Oh, also Beyonce.

Look, we love Mrs. Carter as much as the next Beyhive member, but we’d be remiss if we didn’t point out that Comedy Bang! Bang!‘s own Scott Aukerman turns up as Young Nigel in a blink-and-you’ll-miss it cameo. As Shag Powersman himself said while reflecting on his storied career, “Who knew being Michael Caine’s body double in Austin Powers 3 was in my future?”

Test your knowledge on all things Austin Powers!

 

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Brock Hard

Brockmire’s Guide To Grabbing Life By The D***

Catch up on the full season of Brockmire now.

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“Lucy, put supper on the stove, my dear, because this ballgame is over!”

Brockmire has officially closed out its rookie season. Miss the finale episode? A handful of episodes? The whole blessed season?? You can see it all from the beginning, starting right here.

And you should get started, because every minute you spend otherwise will be a minute spent not living your best life. That’s right, there are very important life lessons that Brockmire hid in plain sight—lessons that, when applied thoughtfully, can improve every aspect of your awesome existence. Let’s dive into some sage nuggets from what we call the Book of Jim.

Life Should Be Spiked, Not Watered Down.

That’s not just a fancy metaphor. As Brockmire points out, water tastes “awful. 70% of the water is made up of that shit?” Life is short, water sucks, live like you mean it.

There Are Only Three Types of People

“Poor people, rich people and famous people. Rich people are just poor people with money, so the only worthwhile thing is being famous.” So next time your rich friends act all high and mighty, politely remind them that they’re worthless in the eyes of even the most minor celebrities.

There’s Always A Reason To Get Out Of Bed

And 99% of the time that reason is the urge to pee. It’s nature’s way of saying “seize the day.”

There’s More To Life Than Playing Games

“Baseball can’t compete with p0rnography. Nothing can.” Nothing you do or ever will do can be more important to people than p0rn. Get off your high horse.

A Little Empathy Goes A Long Way

Especially if you’ve taken someone else’s Plan B by mistake.

Our Weaknesses Can Be Our Greatest Strengths

Tyrion Lannister said something similar. Hard to tell who said it with more colorful profanity. Wise sentiments all around.

Big Things Come To Those Who Wait

When you’re looking for a sign, the universe will drop you a big one. You’re the sh*t, universe.

And Of Course…

Need more life lessons from the Book of Jim? Catch up on Brockmire on the IFC App.

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Oh Mama

Mommie May I?

Mommie Dearest Is On Repeat All Mothers Day Long On IFC

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The cult-classic movie Mommie Dearest is a game-changer. If you’ve seen it even just once (but come on, who sees it just once?), then you already know what we’re talking about.

But if you haven’t seen it, then let us break it down for you. Really quick, we promise, we’ll even list things out to spare you the reading of a paragraph:

1. It’s the 1981 biopic based on the memoir of Christina Crawford, Hollywood icon Joan Crawford’s adopted daughter.
2. Faye Dunaway plays Joan. And boy does she play her. Loud and over-reactive.
3. It was intended as a drama, but…
4. Waaaaaay over-the-top performances and bargain-basement dialogue rendered it an accidental comedy.
5. It’s a cult classic, and you’re the last person to see it.

Not sold? Don’t believe it’s going to change your life? Ok, maybe over-the-top acting isn’t your thing, or perhaps you don’t like the lingering electricity of a good primal scream, or Joan Crawford is your personal icon and you can’t bear to see her cast in such a creepy light.

But none of that matters.

What’s important is that seeing this movie gives you permission to react to minor repeat annoyances with unrestrained histrionics.

That there is a key moment. Is she crazy? Yeah. But she’s also right. Shoulder nipples are horrible, wire hangers are the worst, and yelling about it feels strangely justified. She did it, we can do it. Precedent set. You’re welcome.

So what else can we yell about? Channel your inner Joan and consider the following list offenses when choosing your next meltdown.

Improperly Hung Toilet Paper

Misplaced Apostrophes

Coldplay at Karaoke

Dad Jokes

Gluten Free Pizza

James Franco

The list of potential pedestrian grievances is actually quite daunting, but when IFC airs Mommie Dearest non-stop for a full day, you’ll have 24 bonus hours to mull it over. 24 bonus hours to nail that lunatic shriek. 24 bonus hours to remember that, really, your mom is comparatively the best.

So please, celebrate Mother’s Day with Mommie Dearest on IFC and at IFC.com. And for the love of god—NO WIRE HANGERS EVER.

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Breaking News

From Canada With Love

Baroness von Sketch Show comes to IFC.

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Breaking news that (finally) isn’t apocalyptic!

IFC announced today that it acquired acclaimed Canadian comedy series Baroness von Sketch Show, slated to make its US of A premiere this summer. And yes, it’s important to note that it’s a Canadian sketch comedy series, because Canada is currently a shining beacon of civilization in the western hemisphere, and Baroness von Sketch Show reflects that light in every way possible.

The series is fronted entirely by women, which isn’t unusual in the sketch comedy world but is quite rare in the televised sketch comedy world. Punchy, smart, and provocative, each episode of Baroness von Sketch Show touches upon outrageous-yet-relatable real world subjects in ways both unexpected and deeply satisfying: soccer moms, awkward office birthday parties, being over 40 in a gym locker room…dry shampoo…

Indiewire called it “The Best Comedy You’ve Never Seen” and The National Post said that it’s “the funniest thing on Canadian television since Kids In The Hall.” And that’s saying a lot, because Canadians are goddamn hilarious.

Get a good taste of BVSS in the following sketch, which envisions a future Global Summit run entirely by women. It’s a future we’re personally ready for.

Baroness Von Sketch Show premieres later this summer on IFC.

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