Austin Powers in Goldmember Fat Bastard

Rotten, Baby!

5 Reasons Austin Powers in Goldmember Is Too Rotten to Miss

Get groovy with Austin Powers in Goldmember during IFC's Rotten Fridays.

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Photo Credit: New Line/courtesy Everett Collection

With a 54% rating from Rotten Tomatoes, it’s safe to say Austin Powers in Goldmember isn’t the most “shagadelic” film in the groovy franchise. But we know you love it anyway for its crass yucks, over-the-top characters (Fat Bastard!) and general Beyoncé-ness. With IFC and Rotten Tomatoes teaming up to celebrate “rotten” movies that we can’t help but love, we thought we’d share some reasons why Austin Powers in Goldmember hits our guilty pleasure sweet spot.

5. Michael Caine Gets Groovy.

Michael Caine
New Line Cinema

Following in the footsteps of Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade, cowriter/star Mike Myers took a third Austin entry as an excuse to finally meet the man who sired this “International Man of Mystery.” And who else could it have been than legendary thespian Michael Caine, who helped inspire the part with his performance as Harry Palmer in The Ipcress File? In fact, after finding out that Austin’s glasses were reproductions of the ones he wore as Harry, Caine dusted off the original pair for his turn as Nigel Powers.


4. Oh, Those Cameos!

Tom Cruise
New Line Cinema

Any franchise that goes on too long can start to do some serious navel gazing. By the time this third entry rolled around, what was once a light romp through ’60s spy psychedelia had become a self-reverential cluster, er, fluff. Still, while obsessing over the mythology of such a silly franchise, and introducing ridiculous twists like Austin and Dr. Evil being brothers, may have been a bit much, at least we got a celebrity-filled spoof of the franchise with cameos by everyone from Tom Cruise (Austin Powers) to John Travolta (Goldmember) and Kevin Spacey (Dr. Evil).


3. A New Villain Who Goes for the Gold!

Goldmember
New Line Cinema

As a big bad, Goldmember is nowhere near as memorable as Dr. Evil. But, then again, how could he be? With his Lorne Michaels-inspired speaking patterns, and inability to understand inflation, the son of a a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium was one of the all-time great movie villains. Still, we have to respect Myers for taking a chance here, and trying something new. Goldmember may not be the best bad guy from the series, but with his thick Dutch accent and penchant for eating his own skin flakes, he still had something to offer.


2. Musical Numbers Galore!

Goldmember rap
New Line Cinema

One of the best things about Goldmember is that it’s something of a musical at heart. With three songs — a jazzy opening dance number, a soulful introduction sung by Foxxy Cleopatra (Beyoncé Knowles), and a ridiculous rap from Dr. Evil and Mini-Me — this triquel carves out its own niche in the franchise by putting a beat to it.


1. Scott Aukerman is in it! Oh, also Beyonce.

Look, we love Mrs. Carter as much as the next Beyhive member, but we’d be remiss if we didn’t point out that Comedy Bang! Bang!‘s own Scott Aukerman turns up as Young Nigel in a blink-and-you’ll-miss it cameo. As Shag Powersman himself said while reflecting on his storied career, “Who knew being Michael Caine’s body double in Austin Powers 3 was in my future?”

Test your knowledge on all things Austin Powers!

 

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Very NSFW

The Brockmire Premiere Is All Truth

Watch The First Episode of Brockmire Right Now for Free

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GIFS via Giphy

At long last, the Brockmire pre-premiere has arrived. Which means you can watch it right now—on IFC.com, at Funny Or Die, on IFC’s Apple TV and mobile apps, on Youtube, on Facebook, on the AMC apps, and right here. So grab some headphones and get watching.

No seriously, get headphones.

Because whether he’s giving a play-by-play or ruminating on the world around him, Jim Brockmire calls it like he sees it. And how he sees it is very NSFW. His take on life is actually quite refreshing, even to the point of being profoundly sage. For proof just look at these pearls of unconventional wisdom from the premiere…

Brockmire On The Internet

“If I need porn I just buy a nudie mag, like my father and his father before him.”

Brockmire On Sex-Ed

“Kids, a strap-on is a belt with d— on it that mommies use to f— daddies.”
Brockmire-Strap-On

Brockmire On The Perfect High

“Somewhere between 10 cups of coffee and very low-grade cocaine.”
Brockmire-Perfect-High

Brockmire On The Tardiness of Spring

“Old man winter’s reaching his hand inside your coat to give that thing one more squeeze.”

Brockmire On Keeping Perspective

“I thought I hit rock bottom in a handicap restroom in Bangkok where a Thai lady-boy snorted crank off my johnson while a sunburnt German watched us on the toilet”
Brockmire-grain-salt

Brockmire On Humanity

“If you want to look directly into the gaping maw of oblivion, don’t look up to the heavens. Just look in the mirror.”
Jules-never-seen

See these nuggets and more in the first episode of Brockmire, and see the whole season beginning April 5 at 10P on IFC.

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Thank Azaria

Best. Characters. Ever.

Our favorite Hank Azaria characters.

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GIFs via Giphy

Hank Azaria may well be the most prolific voice and character actor of our time. The work he’s done for The Simpsons alone has earned him a permanent place in the pop culture zeitgeist. And now he’s bringing another character to the mainstream: a washed-up sports announcer named Jim Brockmire, in the aptly titled new series Brockmire.

We’re looking forward to it. So much so that we want to look backward, too, with a short-but-sweet retrospective of some of Azaria’s important characters. Shall we begin?

Half The Recurring Simpsons Characters

He’s Comic Book Guy. He’s Chief Wiggum. He’s Apu. He’s Cletus. He’s Snake. He’s Superintendent Chalmers. He’s the Sea Captain. He’s Kurt “Can I Borrow A Feeling” Van Houten. He’s Professor Frink. He’s Carl. And he’s many more. But most importantly he’s Moe Szyslak, the staple character Azaria has voiced since his very first audition for The Simpsons.

Oh, and He’s Frank Grimes

For all the regular Simpsons characters Azaria has played over the years, his most brilliant performance may have been a one-off: Frank Grimes, the scrappy bootstrapper who worked tirelessly all his life for honest, incremental, and easily-undermined success. Azaria’s portrayal of this character was nuanced, emotional, and simply magical.

Patches O’Houlihan

Dodgeball is a “sport of violence, exclusion and degradation.” as Hank Azaria generously points out in his brief but crucial cameo in Dodgeball. That’s sage wisdom. Try applying his “five D’s” to your life on and off the court and enjoy the results.

Harold Zoid

Of Futurama fame. The crazy uncle of Dr. Zoidberg, Harold Zoid was once a lion (or lobster) of the silver screen until Smell-o-vision forced him into retirement.

Agador

The Birdcage was significant for many reasons, and the comic genius of Hank Azaria’s character “Agador” sits somewhere towards the top of that list. If you haven’t seen this movie, shame on you.

Gargamel

Nobody else could make a live-action Gargamel possible.

Ed Cochran

From Ray Donovan. Great character, great last name [editorial note: the author of this article may be bias].

Kahmunra, The Thinker, Abe Lincoln

All in the Night At The Museum: Battle Of The Smithsonian, a file that let Azaria flex his voice acting and live-action muscles in one fell swoop.

The Blue Raja

Mystery Men has everything, including a fatal case of Smash Mouth. Azaria’s iconic superhero makes the shortlist of redeemable qualities, though.

Dr. Huff

Huff put Azaria in a leading role, and it was good. So good that there is no good gif of it. Internet? More like Inter-not.

Learn more about Hank Azaria’s newest claim to fame right here, and don’t miss the premiere of Brockmire April 5 at 10P on IFC.

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Flame Out

Brockmire and Other Public Implosions

Brockmire Premieres April 5 at 10P on IFC.

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There’s less than a month until the Brockmire premiere, and to say we’re excited would be an insulting understatement. It’s not just that it stars Hank Azaria, who can do no wrong (and yes, that’s including Mystery Men, which is only cringeworthy because of Smash Mouth). It’s that the whole backstory of the titular character, Jim Brockmire, is the stuff of legends. A one-time iconic sportscaster who won the hearts of fans and players alike, he fell from grace after an unfortunate personal event triggered a seriously public meltdown. See for yourself in the NSFW Funny or Die digital short that spawned the IFC series:

See? NSFW and spectacularly catastrophic in a way that could almost be real. Which got us thinking: What are some real-life sports fails that have nothing to do with botched athletics and everything to do with going tragically off script? The internet is a dark and dirty place, friends, but these three examples are pretty special and mostly safe for work…

Disgruntled Sports Reporter

His co-anchor went offsides and he called it like he saw it.

Jim Rome vs Jim “Not Chris” Everett

You just don’t heckle a professional athlete when you’re within striking distance. Common sense.

Carl Lewis’s National Anthem

He killed it! As in murdered. It’s dead.

To see more moments just like these, we recommend spending a day in your pajamas combing through the muckiness of the internet. But to see something that’s Brockmire-level funny without having to clear your browser history, check out the sneak peeks and extras here.

Don’t miss the premiere of Brockmire April 5 at 10P on IFC.

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