Beyonce Austin Powers in Goldmember

Bey-Ography

Ranking Queen Beyonce’s Best and Worst Movies Roles

Catch Beyonce in Austin Powers in Goldmember this month on IFC.

Posted by on
Photo Credit: New Line Cinema/Everett Collection

We all know Queen Bey can run the world, but some of her acting choices tend to be more lemon than lemonade. With Austin Powers in Goldmember airing this month on IFC, we’ve ranked her most memorable roles to determine whether the films “Slayed” or “Sunk”. Get in formation and check them out below.

7. Epic, Queen Tara

Beyonce Tara
Blue Sky

Even exquisite animation could not save this generic story. We appreciate casting Bey as royalty, but the role and movie are forgettable.

Verdict: Sunk


6. The Pink Panther, Xania

Beyonce Pink
Columbia Pictures

Despite Steve Martin’s comedy chops, the weak script was not improved by a flat performance from Bey. Still, only Beyoncé could look fierce in a Pink Panther movie.

Verdict: Sunk


5. Obsessed, Sharon

Beyonce Obsessed
Screen Gems

Beyoncé played Sharon, a wife protecting her man from an obsessed coworker, in this bland 2009 flick. The sole highlight was the Ali Larter/Beyoncé fight scene, which won Best Fight at the MTV Movie Awards.

Verdict: Movie Sunk (but the fight scene Slayed)


4. The Fighting Temptations, Lilly

Beyonce Fighting Temptations
Paramount Pictures

The wholesome and predictable 2003 comedy was boosted by a solid soundtrack featuring Bey. Who could’ve guessed that years later, Jay-Z would reportedly be “fighting” the “temptation” of “Becky with the good hair”?

Verdict: Slayed


3. Austin Powers in Goldmember, Foxxy Cleopatra

Beyonce Goldmember
New Line Cinema

Beyoncé as an undercover FBI Agent named Foxxy Cleopatra? Yaasss, Queen. The goofy, but charming chemistry between Beyoncé and Mike Myers helped the third installment of Austin Powers find its groove.

Verdict: Slayed


2. Cadillac Records, Etta James

Beyonce Cadillac Records
TriStar Pictures

Although a much stronger musical than drama, Bey excels at Etta James’ soaring vocals. At Last, a role worthy of Sasha Fierce.

Verdict: Slayed


1. Dreamgirls, Deena Jones

Beyonce Dreamgirls

While a good use of Bey’s powerhouse vocals, the 2006 musical didn’t offer much in terms of her character’s development. Still, the flashy musical numbers and showstopping choreography made it a worthwhile ride.

Verdict: Slayed

Watch More
Brockmire-107-banner-3

Brock Hard

Brockmire’s Guide To Grabbing Life By The D***

Catch up on the full season of Brockmire now.

Posted by on
GIFs by Giphy

“Lucy, put supper on the stove, my dear, because this ballgame is over!”

Brockmire has officially closed out its rookie season. Miss the finale episode? A handful of episodes? The whole blessed season?? You can see it all from the beginning, starting right here.

And you should get started, because every minute you spend otherwise will be a minute spent not living your best life. That’s right, there are very important life lessons that Brockmire hid in plain sight—lessons that, when applied thoughtfully, can improve every aspect of your awesome existence. Let’s dive into some sage nuggets from what we call the Book of Jim.

Life Should Be Spiked, Not Watered Down.

That’s not just a fancy metaphor. As Brockmire points out, water tastes “awful. 70% of the water is made up of that shit?” Life is short, water sucks, live like you mean it.

There Are Only Three Types of People

“Poor people, rich people and famous people. Rich people are just poor people with money, so the only worthwhile thing is being famous.” So next time your rich friends act all high and mighty, politely remind them that they’re worthless in the eyes of even the most minor celebrities.

There’s Always A Reason To Get Out Of Bed

And 99% of the time that reason is the urge to pee. It’s nature’s way of saying “seize the day.”

There’s More To Life Than Playing Games

“Baseball can’t compete with p0rnography. Nothing can.” Nothing you do or ever will do can be more important to people than p0rn. Get off your high horse.

A Little Empathy Goes A Long Way

Especially if you’ve taken someone else’s Plan B by mistake.

Our Weaknesses Can Be Our Greatest Strengths

Tyrion Lannister said something similar. Hard to tell who said it with more colorful profanity. Wise sentiments all around.

Big Things Come To Those Who Wait

When you’re looking for a sign, the universe will drop you a big one. You’re the sh*t, universe.

And Of Course…

Need more life lessons from the Book of Jim? Catch up on Brockmire on the IFC App.

Watch More
Mommie_Dearest-2

Oh Mama

Mommie May I?

Mommie Dearest Is On Repeat All Mothers Day Long On IFC

Posted by on
GIFs via Giphy

The cult-classic movie Mommie Dearest is a game-changer. If you’ve seen it even just once (but come on, who sees it just once?), then you already know what we’re talking about.

But if you haven’t seen it, then let us break it down for you. Really quick, we promise, we’ll even list things out to spare you the reading of a paragraph:

1. It’s the 1981 biopic based on the memoir of Christina Crawford, Hollywood icon Joan Crawford’s adopted daughter.
2. Faye Dunaway plays Joan. And boy does she play her. Loud and over-reactive.
3. It was intended as a drama, but…
4. Waaaaaay over-the-top performances and bargain-basement dialogue rendered it an accidental comedy.
5. It’s a cult classic, and you’re the last person to see it.

Not sold? Don’t believe it’s going to change your life? Ok, maybe over-the-top acting isn’t your thing, or perhaps you don’t like the lingering electricity of a good primal scream, or Joan Crawford is your personal icon and you can’t bear to see her cast in such a creepy light.

But none of that matters.

What’s important is that seeing this movie gives you permission to react to minor repeat annoyances with unrestrained histrionics.

That there is a key moment. Is she crazy? Yeah. But she’s also right. Shoulder nipples are horrible, wire hangers are the worst, and yelling about it feels strangely justified. She did it, we can do it. Precedent set. You’re welcome.

So what else can we yell about? Channel your inner Joan and consider the following list offenses when choosing your next meltdown.

Improperly Hung Toilet Paper

Misplaced Apostrophes

Coldplay at Karaoke

Dad Jokes

Gluten Free Pizza

James Franco

The list of potential pedestrian grievances is actually quite daunting, but when IFC airs Mommie Dearest non-stop for a full day, you’ll have 24 bonus hours to mull it over. 24 bonus hours to nail that lunatic shriek. 24 bonus hours to remember that, really, your mom is comparatively the best.

So please, celebrate Mother’s Day with Mommie Dearest on IFC and at IFC.com. And for the love of god—NO WIRE HANGERS EVER.

Watch More
Baroness-von-Sketch-Show-S1-TEMP-key-art

Breaking News

From Canada With Love

Baroness von Sketch Show comes to IFC.

Posted by on
GIFs via Giphy

Breaking news that (finally) isn’t apocalyptic!

IFC announced today that it acquired acclaimed Canadian comedy series Baroness von Sketch Show, slated to make its US of A premiere this summer. And yes, it’s important to note that it’s a Canadian sketch comedy series, because Canada is currently a shining beacon of civilization in the western hemisphere, and Baroness von Sketch Show reflects that light in every way possible.

The series is fronted entirely by women, which isn’t unusual in the sketch comedy world but is quite rare in the televised sketch comedy world. Punchy, smart, and provocative, each episode of Baroness von Sketch Show touches upon outrageous-yet-relatable real world subjects in ways both unexpected and deeply satisfying: soccer moms, awkward office birthday parties, being over 40 in a gym locker room…dry shampoo…

Indiewire called it “The Best Comedy You’ve Never Seen” and The National Post said that it’s “the funniest thing on Canadian television since Kids In The Hall.” And that’s saying a lot, because Canadians are goddamn hilarious.

Get a good taste of BVSS in the following sketch, which envisions a future Global Summit run entirely by women. It’s a future we’re personally ready for.

Baroness Von Sketch Show premieres later this summer on IFC.

Watch More
Powered by ZergNet