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Name Game

The Best ’80s Movie Nicknames

Catch Fast Times at Ridgemont High during IFC's '80s Weekend.

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Photo Credit: Universal/Everett Collection

Shakespeare once asked, “What’s in a name?” If Ol’ Bill was a Hollywood screenwriter during the ’80s, he might’ve mused, “What’s in a nickname?” Any ’80s movie worth its popped-collar and feathered hair had at least one character with a great nickname. In celebration of IFC’s ’80s Weekend, we compiled a list of some of our favorites.

1. Maverick and Goose, Top Gun

Maverick Goose
Paramount Pictures

Lt. Pete “Maverick” Mitchell (Tom Cruise) and Lt. JG Nick “Goose” Bradshaw (Anthony Edwards) are not only best friends — they’re the best pilots aboard the USS Enterprise, which is why they’re sent to the Top Gun school. Maverick, as his codename suggests, is a total hotheaded risk taker while Goose tends to be a bit more cautious and protective. During the ’80s, Maverick and Goose had one of the all-time great movie bromances, inspiring a loving feeling that even the Righteous Brothers couldn’t lose.


2. Baby, Dirty Dancing

Dirty Dancing Swayze
Vestron Pictures

“That was the summer of 1963 –- when everybody called me Baby, and it didn’t occur to me to mind.” So says 17-year-old Frances “Baby” Houseman (Jennifer Grey) at the beginning of Dirty Dancing. Baby begins the summer as an idealistic and naïve young woman who has her eyes opened to the ways of the world by working class dance instructor/eye candy Johnny Castle (Patrick Swayze) and the summer staff of Kellerman’s. By the end of her sexy, ballroom dancing-filled, coming-of-age in the Catskills, it’s safe to say she’s definitely outgrown her Baby nickname.


3. Duckie, Pretty in Pink

Duckie Pretty in Pink
Paramount Pictures

Philip F. Dale, better known to the students of his high school as “Duckie,” is actually quite the odd duck. From his bolo ties and dirty white “Duckman” loafers (which all the hipsters in Brooklyn are now wearing) to his pompadour hair and love for Otis Redding, Duckie never tries to fit in with the in-crowd. Like his avian counterpart, Duckie seems to be floating through life and school, much to best gal pal Andie’s chagrin, but he doesn’t let much ruffle his proverbial feathers except guys named after appliances who try to date the object of his affections.


4. Mouth, Chunk, Sloth, and Data, The Goonies

Goonies
Warner Bros.

HEY YOU GUUUUUYS! There are two kinds of people in the world: those who say “die” and Goonies. Our favorite ragtag band of adolescent adventurers from Astoria, Oregon all have totally killer, perfect nicknames. Mouth (Corey Feldman) has a smartass comment for everything even in Spanish. Chunk (Jeff Cohen) enjoys making fake vomit and eating pepperoni pizza. Sloth (John Matuszak) is a little slow-moving, but knows how to make a dashing Errol Flynn-style entrance. Data (Ke Huy Quan) builds pretty nifty booby traps. Mikey (Sean Astin), Brand (Josh Brolin), Stef (Martha Plimpton) and Andy (Kerri Green) round out the precocious gang who managed to steal both our hearts AND One-Eyed Willie’s treasure in this 1985 cult classic. Fratellis, watch out!


5. Indiana Jones

Scruffy archeology professor/adventure-seeker, Indiana Jones (Harrison Ford) is usually the one unearthing secrets, so it came as a bit of a shock when it was revealed Indiana is not his real first name. At the end of Indiana Jones and The Last Crusade, Henry Jones, Sr. (a playful Sean Connery) reveals that Indy’s name is Henry Jones, Jr. after loyal pal Sallah (John Rhys-Davies) keeps asking, “What does it always mean, this ‘‘Junior’?” The punchline is that our dashing, Nazi butt-kicking hero took his nickname from none other than his scrappy childhood dog. Awww puppy love looks good on you, Indy, erm, Henry!


6. Stiles, Teen Wolf

Enterprising teen Rupert “Stiles” Stilinski (Jerry Levine) never met a sarcastic/slightly offensive T-shirt he didn’t love. When he’s not sartorially expressing himself, he’s being the life of the party or running some scheme to make a little fast cash, capitalizing on best friend Scott’s (Michael J. Fox) werewolf alter-ego in every way he can. Whether van surfing with Scott, trying to get a keg for a party, or cracking wise, Stiles always does everything in style.


7. Rat, Fast Times at Ridgemont High

Fast Times
Universal Pictures

Inexperienced Ridgemont High nerd Rat (Brian Backer) is head over heels for popular Stacy (Jennifer Jason Leigh), but he lacks the skills and social status to land her, i.e. he’s pretty far down the high school food chain. Like the mammal with whom he shares his nickname, Rat spends a lot of time in the dark both literally (he works at a movie theatre in the mall) and figuratively (fumbling his way through his feelings for Stacy), even nervously scurrying away from Stacy’s advances with his tail between his legs, so to speak. Rat definitely gets picked on, but he has a biting sense of humor about pretty much everything.


8. Pee Wee, Porky’s

Porky's Pee Wee
20th Century Fox

The most desperate of his group of friends to lose his virginity, Pee Wee concocts plan after plan to “become a man,” all of which fail miserably. Definitely the runt of the litter, so to speak, Pee Wee is often the butt of everyone’s jokes. And since this is a raunchy sex comedy where guys drop trou fairly often, we probably don’t have to explain what Pee Wee’s nickname REALLY refers to.


9. Snake, Escape from New York

Snake Plissken
Embassy Pictures

Forget what you heard — Snake Plissken (full name: S.D. Bob Plissken) is DEFINITELY not dead. And if there’s anyone we’d trust with the survival of the human race and the rescue of the President, it’s the former Special Forces war hero turned criminal with the badass eyepatch and cobra tattoo on his abdomen. With a sharp tongue and killer instincts, Snake always manages to slither his way out of the worst situations (like being injected with explosives that will kill him in 22 hours if he doesn’t complete his mission). Oh, and somehow he does it all without ever wrecking his perfectly-coiffed hair. Consider us jealoussssssssss, Ssssnake!


10. Cobra

With a name like Marion Cobretti, it’s pretty much a given that you’re going to go into a line of work that involves bashing heads and blowing away creeps. As played by Sylvester Stallone in the over-the-top 1986 action movie that shares his name, “Cobra” lives up to his nickname by being coldblooded when it comes to dispensing justice to any perp who gets in his way.

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Hard Out

Comedy From The Closet

Janice and Jeffrey Available Now On IFC's Comedy Crib

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She’s been referred to as “the love child of Amy Sedaris and Tracy Ullman,” and he’s a self-described “Italian who knows how to cook a great spaghetti alla carbonara.” They’re Mollie Merkel and Matteo Lane, prolific indie comedians who blended their robust creative juices to bring us the new Comedy Crib series Janice and Jeffrey. Mollie and Matteo took time to answer our probing questions about their series and themselves. Here’s a taste.

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IFC: How would you describe Janice and Jeffrey to a fancy network executive you met in an elevator?

Mollie & Matteo: Janice and Jeffrey is about a married couple experiencing intimacy issues but who don’t have a clue it’s because they are gay. Their oblivion makes them even more endearing.  Their total lack of awareness provides for a buffet of comedy.

IFC: What’s your origin story? How did you two people meet and how long have you been working together?

Mollie: We met at a dive bar in Wrigley Field Chicago. It was a show called Entertaining Julie… It was a cool variety scene with lots of talented people. I was doing Janice one night and Matteo was doing an impression of Liza Minnelli. We sort of just fell in love with each other’s… ACT! Matteo made the first move and told me how much he loved Janice and I drove home feeling like I just met someone really special.

IFC: How would Janice describe Jeffrey?

Mollie: “He can paint, cook homemade Bolognese, and sing Opera. Not to mention he has a great body. He makes me feel empowered and free. He doesn’t suffocate me with attention so our love has room to breath.”

IFC: How would Jeffrey describe Janice?

Matteo: “Like a Ford. Built to last.”

IFC: Why do you think the world is ready for this series?

Mollie & Matteo: Our current political world is mirroring and reflecting this belief that homosexuality is wrong. So what better time for satire. Everyone is so pro gay and equal rights, which is of course what we want, too. But no one is looking at middle America and people actually in the closet. No one is saying, hey this is really painful and tragic, and sitting with that. Having compassion but providing the desperate relief of laughter…This seemed like the healthiest, best way to “fight” the gay rights “fight”.

IFC: Hummus is hilarious. Why is it so funny?

Mollie: It just seems like something people take really seriously, which is funny to me. I started to see it in a lot of lesbians’ refrigerators at a time. It’s like observing a lesbian in a comfortable shoe. It’s a language we speak. Pass the Hummus. Turn on the Indigo Girls would ya?

See the whole season of Janice and Jeffrey right now on IFC’s Comedy Crib.

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Die Hard Dads

Inspiration For Die Hard Dads

Die Hard is on IFC all Father's Day Long

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Photo Credit: Everett Collection, GIPHY

Yippee ki-yay, everybody! It’s time to celebrate the those most literal of mother-effers: dads!

And just in case the title of this post left anything to the imagination, IFC is giving dads balls-to-the-wall ’80s treatment with a glorious marathon of action trailblazer Die Hard.

There are so many things we could say about Die Hard. We could talk about how it was comedian Bruce Willis’s first foray into action flicks, or Alan Rickman’s big screen debut. But dads don’t give a sh!t about that stuff.

No, dads just want to fantasize that they could be deathproof quip factory John McClane in their own mundane lives. So while you celebrate the fathers in your life, consider how John McClane would respond to these traditional “dad” moments…

Wedding Toasts

Dads always struggle to find the right words of welcome to extend to new family. John McClane, on the other hand, is the master of inclusivity.
Die Hard wedding

Using Public Restrooms

While nine out of ten dads would rather die than use a disgusting public bathroom, McClane isn’t bothered one bit. So long as he can fit a bloody foot in the sink, he’s G2G.
Die Hard restroom

Awkward Dancing

Because every dad needs a signature move.
Die Hard dance

Writing Thank You Notes

It can be hard for dads to express gratitude. Not only can McClane articulate his thanks, he makes it feel personal.
Die Hard thank you

Valentine’s Day

How would John McClane say “I heart you” in a way that ain’t cliche? The image speaks for itself.
Die Hard valentines

Shopping

The only thing most dads hate more than shopping is fielding eleventh-hour phone calls with additional items for the list. But does McClane throw a typical man-tantrum? Nope. He finds the words to express his feelings like a goddam adult.
Die Hard thank you

Last Minute Errands

John McClane knows when a fight isn’t worth fighting.
Die Hard errands

Sneaking Out Of The Office Early

What is this, high school? Make a real exit, dads.
Die Hard office

Think you or your dad could stand to be more like Bruce? Role model fodder abounds in the Die Hard marathon all Father’s Day long on IFC.

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Founding Farters

Know Your Nerd History

Revenge of the Nerds is on IFC.

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Photo Credit: Everett Collection, GIFs via Giphy

That we live in the heyday of nerds is no hot secret. Scientists are celebrities, musicians are robots and late night hosts can recite every word of the Silmarillion. It’s too easy to think that it’s always been this way. But the truth is we owe much to our nerd forebearers who toiled through the jock-filled ’80s so that we might take over the world.

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Our humble beginnings are perhaps best captured in iconic ’80s romp Revenge of the Nerds. Like the founding fathers of our Country, the titular nerds rose above their circumstances to culturally pave the way for every Colbert and deGrasse Tyson that we know and love today.

To make sure you’re in the know about our very important cultural roots, here’s a quick download of the vengeful nerds without whom our shameful stereotypes might never have evolved.

Lewis Skolnick

The George Washington of nerds whose unflappable optimism – even in the face of humiliating self-awareness – basically gave birth to the Geek Pride movement.

Gilbert Lowe

OK, this guy is wet blanket, but an important wet blanket. Think Aaron Burr to Lin-Manuel Miranda’s Hamilton. His glass-mostly-empty attitude is a galvanizing force for Lewis. Who knows if Lewis could have kept up his optimism without Lowe’s Debbie-Downer outlook?

Arnold Poindexter

A music nerd who, after a soft start (inside joke, you’ll get it later), came out of his shell and let his passion lead instead of his anxiety. If you played an instrument (specifically, electric violin), and you were a nerd, this was your patron saint.

Booger

A sex-loving, blunt-smoking, nose-picking guitar hero. If you don’t think he sounds like a classic nerd, you’re absolutely right. And that’s the whole point. Along with Lamar, he simultaneously expanded the definition of nerd and gave pre-existing nerds a twisted sort of cred by association.

Lamar Latrell

Black, gay, and a crazy good breakdancer. In other words, a total groundbreaker. He proved to the world that nerds don’t have a single mold, but are simply outcasts waiting for their moment.

Ogre

Exceedingly stupid, this dumbass was monumental because he (in a sequel) leaves the jocks to become a nerd. Totally unheard of back then. Now all jocks are basically nerds.

Well, there they are. Never forget that we stand on their shoulders.

Revenge of the Nerds is on IFC all month long.

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