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Bad News Bears

Hall of Shame

The Best Bad Coaches From Sports Movie

Catch the Bad News Bears movies this month on IFC.

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Photo Credit: Everett Collection

By Nick Stevens

American movie history is loaded with examples of great coaches — those fearless and inspirational leaders who, through fierce dedication, unconventional means and controversial methodologies, were able to help our heroes achieve their goals, or at least learn an invaluable lesson…while probably exorcising some personal demons of their own. These are not those men.

Behold a collection of the worst coaches in movie history, the Hollywood Coaching Hall of Shame, if you will. These men were never meant to be the leaders of other men, or in some case children or animals. Some would emerge victorious, though it was often in spite of themselves. Their arrogance or idiocy was sometimes their undoing, and a lack of coaching fundamentals, basic manners and hygiene made them irresistibly lovable to one and all.

1. Morris Buttermaker, The Bad News Bears

Swearing, drinking, yelling, screaming, berating those younger and older than him…all staples of the Morris Buttermaker repertoire. Then again, if you were a broken down alcoholic former ballplayer who cleaned pools for a living who, out of desperation took a job coaching a collection of the worst little league players ever, chances are swearing and drinking and yelling would be part of your repertoire, too.

Buttermaker, as portrayed by the great Walter Matthau, is the gold standard for great bad coaches. He was unfit for any of the responsibilities he undertook, which made him the perfect “role model” for his ragtag band of misfits whose team name ultimately would become a synonym for any error-prone squad. Buttermaker’s players swear, hurl racial insults, assault opponents and display the kind of behavior that would have Child Care Services called immediately. (It was the ’70s; times were different!) And if it wasn’t for a girl and a teen with a dirtbike his team may never have won. But somehow things worked out in this tale of hope, redemption and nine-year-olds who freely use the N word. Hey, it was the ’70s! (Click here to see all airings of The Bad News Bears movies on IFC.)


2. Artie DeVanzo, Beer League

Artie Lange Beer League
Echo Bridge Entertainment

As they said in Animal House, “Fat, drunk and stupid is no way to go through life, son”…unless of course it works for you, in which case you do you. And that’s exactly what Artie Lange, as player/manager Artie DeVanzo does in Artie Lange’s Beer League, a movie so drawn from Lange’s real life persona that the title bears his name. Were it not for the presence of Ralph Macchio one might even think this movie to be a documentary. Alas, it’s just a good-old fashioned frathouse romp, full of foul language, raunch and all the other things movies used to be rated-R for.

Lange’s DeVanzo is an absolute disaster of a human. He’s much better at shirking responsibilities, spewing insults and nursing hangovers than he is at in-gamesmanship, which should come as no surprise. But then again this is beer league softball, and Artie is just trying to help his team avoid the softball league equivalent of relegation. And his efforts prove that sometimes being terrible is a good thing…mostly for our viewing pleasure.


3. Roy Munson, Kingpin

Kingpin takes the “prodigy who fell from grace, and onto hard times, only to try and redeem himself” storyline and gooses it hilariously by adding an outrageous prodigy turned maimed mentor in the form of one-handed human dumpster fire Roy Munson (Woody Harrelson). Roy finds a potential new prodigy he can teach and seek redemption through in the former of Amish man Ishmael (Randy Quaid), and a beauty on the run (Vanessa Angel). All set in the world of professional bowling. You know, that old tale!

Roy’s fall from grace is so bad his last name becomes a verb for missing an opportunity. And whether it’s drinking his breakfast, having sex with his elderly landlord to pay the rent, or taking his Amish protege on a cross-country rumspringa, Roy is his own worst enemy, and has no business teaching anyone anything. Which is exactly why we root for him, even against his betraying mentor, “Big” Ern McCracken (Bill Murray), and that sweet encased rose bowling ball.


4. Chester Lee, Ladybugs

When you heard the premise of “Rodney Dangerfield coaches a young girls soccer team” you knew he’d be as good a coach as he was sitting still while on Johnny Carson’s couch. At no point does this movie make any pretense that it’s to be about anything other than Rodney Dangerfield and his jokes. That’s what Rodney Dangerfield movies were; 90 minute set-ups for him to deliver jokes. This one just happened to involve a girls soccer team, a Some Like It Hot storyline with Coach Chester (Rodney) sneaking his girlfriend’s son on the team to help them win, and Jackée Harry at the prime of her powers of sassitude. It’s far from Rodney’s best, but it’s Rodney, and it features one of our favorite bad Rodney lines ever. (Watch it above.)


5. Jackie Moon, Semi-Pro

Jackie Moon’s problem wasn’t that he was a bad coach. Well, he was. It’s just that he was stretched too thin. He was trying to be everything to everyone. Jackie was guilty of being a dreamer. And a bad player. And a bad GM. And a bad PA announcer. And a bad singer who somehow was a one hit wonder. And played in a bad town. On a bad team. In a bad league like the ABA. OK, Jackie Moon was terrible at everything. But because of his universal terribleness, all brought to glorious vintage comic life by Will Ferrell, we’d let Jackie Moon “Love Me Sexy” anytime.


6. Coach Klein, The Waterboy

Also from the Department of Coaches In Over Their Head, Coach Klein was, like many of our best-worst coaches, in possession of a bright future. But he fell from greatness, or at least had it stolen from him, and when we meet him he’s a mess. He can’t coach. He can’t draw up plays. He can’t remember where he is. But we love him in his ineptitude because we know he was wronged, and because he’s being played by The Fonz, for chrissakes! Sure, he gets his second chance, which arrives in the form of a socially awkward Cajun baby-talking man-child named Bobby Boucher, who just wanted to be his waterboy. But in the end turns out to be the best player on his team, and Coach Klein’s ticket to redemption and reclamation of his former play-calling prowess. Isn’t this is how it always works out in football, right?


7. John Kreese, The Karate Kid

Karate Kid Sweep the Leg
Columbia Pictures

Wait…just wait a leg-sweeping minute here! Are we saying that one of the best, most vicious karate masters in the history of Hollywood was in fact one of the best worst coaches? Oh, you bet your body bag we are, Johnny! But how could Kreese, the ruthless sensei from Cobra Kai, who told us where pain and fear did not exist, be bad at his job? His dojo was tops in the state annually. His squad goals were simple: kick everyone’s ass, no matter how. And that’s fine. But Kreese belongs on this list because yes, he gave tremendous villain, but he was cocky. Overconfident to a fault, a gawky Jersey transplant teen learning karate from a drunken Japanese karate master could actually defeat his number one pupil. We’re not showing any mercy on Kreese. Mostly because he taught us that mercy is for the weak.


8. White Goodman, Dodgeball

Yet another narcissistic entrepreneurial bully with a Napoleon complex who had it all in the palm of his tiny muscular hands…and blew it. Goodman’s (Ben Stiller) GloboGym dodgeball team is far superior to that of Pete LaFeleur (Vince Vaughn) and his Average Joe’s squad. Why, on paper it’s a mismatch of epic proportions. But somehow White and his muscle-keteers lose to a mod squad that was coached by a wheelchair bound former dodgeball legend who goes by the name Patches (Rip Torn). Dodgeball is titled “A True Underdog Story,” because on an unusual and unlikely stage David slays, or in this case, tags Goliath yet again. But you wouldn’t get that, would you, White? It’s a metaphor.


9. Coach Fanelli, Air Bud: Golden Receiver

Look, maybe Coach Fanelli meant well. Maybe he’s a good guy. Maybe he’s a brilliant football mind who, like Coach Klein, had a future, but something traumatic happened to him. Something traumatic enough for him to think a dog playing wide receiver on his football team was a good idea. We may never know. All we do know is that a dog playing wide receiver improved his team greatly…and, yes, the lives of us all. Thanks, Air Bud!


10. Coach Chubb, Ed

Let’s call this “The Coach Fanelli Clause” — you allow a domesticated animal to play on your team, and said team improves? You’re a terrible coach. No matter the outcome. One of the best terrible coaches ever. Your judgment has failed you. You should not be coaching anything. You’re so hopeless that at one point you figure, “How much worse could things get if I let a jungle creature play the field?” That’s rock bottom, friends. No matter the odds overcome, or horrendous costume work or special effects, your team is not supposed to improve when a chimp plays on it. Fortunately for Coach Chubb (as played by the late great Jack Warden) his team, and star pitcher, did turn their fortunes around. May Ed have mercy on us all.

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WTF Films

Artfully Off

Celebrity All-Star by Sisters Weekend is available now on IFC's Comedy Crib.

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Sisters Weekend isn’t like other comedy groups. It’s filmmaking collaboration between besties Angelo Balassone, Michael Fails and Kat Tadesco, self-described lace-front addicts with great legs who write, direct, design and produce video sketches and cinematic shorts that are so surreally hilarious that they defy categorization. One such short film, Celebrity All-Star, is the newest addition to IFC’s Comedy Crib. Here’s what they had to say about it in a very personal email interview…

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IFC: How would you describe Celebrity All-Star to a fancy network executive you just met in an elevator?

Celebrity All-Star is a short film about an overworked reality TV coordinator struggling to save her one night off after the cast of C-List celebrities she wrangles gets locked out of their hotel rooms.

IFC: How would you describe Celebrity All-Star to a drunk friend of a friend you met in a bar?

Sisters Weekend: It’s this short we made for IFC where a talent coordinator named Karen babysits a bunch of weird c-list celebs who are stuck in a hotel bar. It’s everyone you hate from reality TV under one roof – and that roof leaks because it’s a 2-star hotel. There’s a magician, sexy cowboys, and a guy wearing a belt that sucks up his farts.

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IFC: What was the genesis of Celebrity All-Star?

Celebrity All-Star was born from our love of embarrassing celebrities. We love a good c-lister in need of a paycheck! We were really interested in the canned politeness people give off when forced to mingle with strangers. The backstory we created is that the cast of this reality show called “Celebrity All-Star” is in the middle of a mandatory round of “get to know each other” drinks in the hotel bar when the room keys stop working. Shows like Celebrity Ghost Hunters and of course The Surreal Life were of inspo, but we thought it
was funny to keep it really vague what kind of show they’re on, and just focus on everyone’s diva antics after the cameras stop rolling.

IFC: Every celebrity in Celebrity All-Star seems familiar. What real-life pop personalities did you look to for inspiration?

Sisters Weekend: Anyone who is trying to plug their branded merch that no one asked for. We love low-rent celebrity. We did, however, directly reference Kylie Jenner’s turd-raison lip color for our fictional teen celebutante Gibby Kyle (played by Mary Houlihan).

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IFC: Celebrity seems disgusting yet desirable. What’s your POV? Do you crave it, hate it, or both?

Sisters Weekend: A lot of people chase fame. If you’re practical, you’ll likely switch to chasing success and if you’re smart, you’ll hopefully switch to chasing happiness. But also, “We need money. We need hits. Hits bring money, money bring power, power bring fame, fame change the game,” Young Thug.

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IFC: Who are your comedy idols?

Sisters Weekend: Mike grew up renting “Monty Python” tapes from the library and staying up late to watch 2000’s SNL, Kat was super into Andy Kaufman and “Kids In The Hall” in high school, and Angelo was heavily influenced by “Strangers With Candy” and Anna Faris in the Scary Movie franchise, so, our comedy heroes mesh from all over. But, also we idolize a lot of the people we work with in NY-  Lorelei Ramirez, Erin Markey, Mary Houlihan, who are all in the film, Amy Zimmer, Ana Fabrega, Patti Harrison, Sam Taggart. Geniuses! All of Em!

IFC: What’s your favorite moment from the film?

Sisters Weekend: I mean…seeing Mary Houlihan scream at an insane Pomeranian on an iPad is pretty great.

See Sisters Weekend right now on IFC’s Comedy Crib

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Reality? Check.

Baroness For Life

Baroness von Sketch Show is available for immediate consumption.

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GIFs via Giphy

Baroness von Sketch Show is snowballing as people have taken note of its subtle and not-so-subtle skewering of everyday life. The New York Times, W Magazine, and Vogue have heaped on the praise, but IFC had a few more probing questions…

IFC: To varying degrees, your sketches are simply scripted examples of things that actually happen. What makes real life so messed up?

Aurora: Hubris, Ego and Selfish Desires and lack of empathy.

Carolyn: That we’re trapped together in the 3rd Dimension.

Jenn: 1. Other people 2. Other people’s problems 3. Probably something I did.

IFC: A lot of people I know have watched this show and realized, “Dear god, that’s me.” or “Dear god, that’s true.” Why do people have their blinders on?

Aurora: Because most people when you’re in the middle of a situation, you don’t have the perspective to step back and see yourself because you’re caught up in the moment. That’s the job of comedians is to step back and have a self-awareness about these things, not only saying “You’re doing this,” but also, “You’re not the only one doing this.” It’s a delicate balance of making people feel uncomfortable and comforting them at the same time.

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IFC: Unlike a lot of popular sketch comedy, your sketches often focus more on group dynamics vs iconic individual characters. Why do you think that is and why is it important?

Meredith: We consider the show to be more based around human dynamics, not so much characters. If anything we’re more attracted to the energy created by people interacting.

Jenn: So much of life is spent trying to work it out with other people, whether it’s at work, at home, trying to commute to work, or even on Facebook it’s pretty hard to escape the group.

IFC: Are there any comedians out there that you feel are just nailing it?

Aurora: I love Key and Peele. I know that their show is done and I’m in denial about it, but they are amazing because there were many times that I would imagine that Keegan Michael Key was in the scene while writing. If I could picture him saying it, I knew it would work. I also kind of have a crush on Jordan Peele and his performance in Big Mouth. Maya Rudolph also just makes everything amazing. Her puberty demon on Big Mouth is flawless. She did an ad for 7th generation tampons that my son, my husband and myself were singing around the house for weeks. If I could even get anything close to her career, I would be happy. I’m also back in love with Rick and Morty. I don’t know if I have a crush on Justin Roiland, I just really love Rick (maybe even more than Morty). I don’t have a crush on Jerry, the dad, but I have a crush on Chris Parnell because he’s so good at being Jerry.

Jenn: I LOVE ISSA RAE!

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IFC: If you could go back in time and cast yourselves in any sitcom, which would it be and how would it change?

Carolyn: I’d go back in time and cast us in The Partridge Family.  We’d make an excellent family band. We’d have a laugh, break into song and wear ruffled blouses with velvet jackets.  And of course travel to all our gigs on a Mondrian bus. I feel really confident about this choice.

Meredith: Electric Mayhem from The Muppet Show. It wouldn’t change, they were simply perfect, except… maybe a few more vaginas in the band.

Binge the entire first and second seasons of Baroness von Sketch Show now on IFC.com and the IFC app.

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G.I. Jeez

Stomach Bugs and Prom Dates

E.Coli High is in your gut and on IFC's Comedy Crib.

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Brothers-in-law Kevin Barker and Ben Miller have just made the mother of all Comedy Crib series, in the sense that their Comedy Crib series is a big deal and features a hot mom. Animated, funny, and full of horrible bacteria, the series juxtaposes timeless teen dilemmas and gut-busting GI infections to create a bite-sized narrative that’s both sketchy and captivating. The two sat down, possibly in the same house, to answer some questions for us about the series. Let’s dig in….

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IFC: How would you describe E.Coli High to a fancy network executive you just met in an elevator?

BEN: Hi ummm uhh hi ok well its like umm (gets really nervous and blows it)…

KB: It’s like the Super Bowl meets the Oscars.

IFC: How would you describe E.Coli High to a drunk friend of a friend you met in a bar?

BEN: Oh wow, she’s really cute isn’t she? I’d definitely blow that too.

KB: It’s a cartoon that is happening inside your stomach RIGHT NOW, that’s why you feel like you need to throw up.

IFC: What was the genesis of E.Coli High?

KB: I had the idea for years, and when Ben (my brother-in-law, who is a special needs teacher in Philly) began drawing hilarious comics, I recruited him to design characters, animate the series, and do some writing. I’m glad I did, because Ben rules!

BEN: Kevin told me about it in a park and I was like yeah that’s a pretty good idea, but I was just being nice. I thought it was dumb at the time.

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IFC: What makes going to proms and dating moms such timeless and oddly-relatable subject matter?

BEN: Since the dawn of time everyone has had at least one friend with a hot mom. It is physically impossible to not at least make a comment about that hot mom.

KB: Who among us hasn’t dated their friend’s mom and levitated tables at a prom?

IFC: Why do you think the world is ready for this series?

BEN: There’s a lot of content now. I don’t think anyone will even notice, but it’d be cool if they did.

KB: A show about talking food poisoning bacteria is basically the same as just watching the news these days TBH.

Watch E.Coli High below and discover more NYTVF selections from years past on IFC’s Comedy Crib.

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