Stephen King

Future King

10 Stephen King Stories That Deserve Their Own Movie

Spend Father's Day with IFC's Stephen King Father of Horror Marathon.

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Photo Credit: Paramount/courtesy Everett Collection

With 57 movies, TV shows and mini-series (and counting), Stephen King has never been shy about allowing his works to be adapted. Still, because the guy is such a prolific writer, there are dozens of untapped stories that could stand the big screen treatment. Before you catch IFC’s Father of Horror marathon, check out a few Stephen King tales that have the legs to go from the page to the silver screen — that is if Kathy Bates doesn’t beat them with a hammer first.

10. The Girl Who Loved Tom Gordon

Girl Who Loved Tom Gordon
Scribner

The best thing about this 1999 King book is its simplicity: A girl is separated from her family while hiking in the woods, and must survive with few provisions and little know how, all while fending off increasing hallucinations of an evil creature determined to kill her. With its relatable “girl vs. nature” story, and a few dark Stephen King flourishes, this could be a gripping tale about one woman’s fight to live at all costs.


9. The Monkey

Monkey Shines
Orion Pictures

“The Monkey” tells the story of a wind-up monkey toy that causes someone to die every time it claps it symbols together. A surprisingly understated story, considering it centers on a murderous stuffed marsupial, in the right hands it wouldn’t have to become the campfest its logline suggests. (Monkey Shines, anyone?) King himself adapted a version of this story for The X-Files episode “Chinga,” but we still feel like there’s plenty to mine here. One of the few stories left unadapted from Skeleton Crew, the Stephen King book of short stories that gave us The Mist, “The Monkey” is a tail, er, tale whose time has come.


8. Insomnia

Insomnia
Viking

Insomnia tells the story of a widower unable to sleep after his wife dies in a horrible accident. The longer he goes, the more strange visions he starts to see. From ribbons billowing out of people’s heads to little bald men in lab coats, his lack of sleep reveals another world to him. With the right director at the helm, this hallucinatory look at a man coping with grief could make for both a gripping meditation on loss, and a visual masterwork. Rob Schmidt, the director of Wrong Turn, tried and failed to get an adaptation going in 2007, so this one might have a steep hill to climb to make it to the big screen.


7. Gerald’s Game

Geralds Game
Viking

The story of a wife who’s left handcuffed to a bed after her husband dies during a sex game, this story would be a difficult adaptation. For one, the lead is naked for the entire movie. Then there’s the fact that she’s the only character for the majority of the book. Still, with its florid hallucinations, and tense escape scenes, this movie could be to S&M what 127 Hours was to rock climbing. Not one of King’s best novels, but with the right vision, it could be reworked into a taut thriller with a feminist twist. (An adaptation from the director of Oculus was announced in 2014, but things have been quiet of late.)


6. The Talisman

Talisman
Viking

Perfect for the blockbuster franchise treatment, this collaboration between King and horror icon Peter Straub was a stab at mixing the authors’ dark sensibilities with a more fantastical genre. The book tells the story of Jack Sawyer, a young boy who must travel across the country, and through parallel worlds, on a quest to save his mother from cancer. With wonderful fantasy iconography, all grounded by a boy’s personal journey to save his dying mother, this could be an epic story with real heart. Think Labyrinth, but with bloody murder instead of singing puppets. And thanks to the book’s sequel, Black House, which tells the story of a grown up Jack, there’s material here for multiple sequels.


5. N.

N
Marvel

A psychological horror story in the vein of H.P. Lovecraft, N. follows a group of disparate people who become obsessed with, and are driven insane by, a circle of stones in a random field which they believe are a portal to a monster in another world. A tense thriller mixed with some Lovecraftian cosmic horror of the unknown, this could be a fun, particularly dark movie about trying to maintain one’s sanity in the face of absolute terror.


4. The Regulators

Regulators
Dutton

The Regulators follows a young, autistic boy named Seth, who’s given the power to control his town by a demon. Thanks to his TV obsessions, this idyll suburban setting quickly transforms into a mishmash of cowboys and sci-fi silliness. With its dark, fantastical visuals, a big screen version of The Regulators has the chance to be a wonderland of pop culture references and unexpected scares.


3. Joyland

Joyland
Hard Case Crime

A more recent novel in the author’s canon, Joyland tells the story of a young man working at a carnival for the summer, where he must help a ghost solve her own murder. More a coming-of-age tale than an outright scare-fest, this novel has some weighty themes, mixed with enough horror pulp to make it a truly special film.


2. Doctor Sleep

Doctor Sleep
Scribner

Now this one is a no-brainer. A sequel to The Shining, this 2013 novel picks up in present day, following a grown-up Danny as he tries to protect a psychic girl from nefarious forces. While it would be intimidating to try to follow in the footsteps of auteur Stanley Kubrick, with the proliferation of remakes and sequels out there these days, it seems hard to imagine this won’t make it to the big screen at some point. Let’s just hope whoever helms it has their own vision, and doesn’t try to do Kubrick-lite. (Click here to see all airings of The Shining on IFC.)


1. The Long Walk

Long Walk
Signet Books

An early work written in 1979 under the pseudonym Richard Bachman, The Long Walk is without a doubt one of the author’s most original, dark and haunting stories. Set in the near future, the story follows a group of boys who’ve entered a walking competition, with a twist. If they stop for any reason, they’re shot. The last boy standing gets whatever he wants for the rest of his life. An early example of the dystopian game show genre that would go on to influence everything from King’s own The Running Man to The Hunger Games, The Long Walk mixes a fascinating collection of characters with a stripped-down story about the will to live at any cost. Stephen King adaptation all-star Frank Darabont has owned the rights for years, but has yet to move on them. Let’s hope that changes.

Honor scary dads this Father’s Day with the Stephen King Father of Horror marathon.

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Brock Hard

Brockmire’s Guide To Grabbing Life By The D***

Catch up on the full season of Brockmire now.

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“Lucy, put supper on the stove, my dear, because this ballgame is over!”

Brockmire has officially closed out its rookie season. Miss the finale episode? A handful of episodes? The whole blessed season?? You can see it all from the beginning, starting right here.

And you should get started, because every minute you spend otherwise will be a minute spent not living your best life. That’s right, there are very important life lessons that Brockmire hid in plain sight—lessons that, when applied thoughtfully, can improve every aspect of your awesome existence. Let’s dive into some sage nuggets from what we call the Book of Jim.

Life Should Be Spiked, Not Watered Down.

That’s not just a fancy metaphor. As Brockmire points out, water tastes “awful. 70% of the water is made up of that shit?” Life is short, water sucks, live like you mean it.

There Are Only Three Types of People

“Poor people, rich people and famous people. Rich people are just poor people with money, so the only worthwhile thing is being famous.” So next time your rich friends act all high and mighty, politely remind them that they’re worthless in the eyes of even the most minor celebrities.

There’s Always A Reason To Get Out Of Bed

And 99% of the time that reason is the urge to pee. It’s nature’s way of saying “seize the day.”

There’s More To Life Than Playing Games

“Baseball can’t compete with p0rnography. Nothing can.” Nothing you do or ever will do can be more important to people than p0rn. Get off your high horse.

A Little Empathy Goes A Long Way

Especially if you’ve taken someone else’s Plan B by mistake.

Our Weaknesses Can Be Our Greatest Strengths

Tyrion Lannister said something similar. Hard to tell who said it with more colorful profanity. Wise sentiments all around.

Big Things Come To Those Who Wait

When you’re looking for a sign, the universe will drop you a big one. You’re the sh*t, universe.

And Of Course…

Need more life lessons from the Book of Jim? Catch up on Brockmire on the IFC App.

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Oh Mama

Mommie May I?

Mommie Dearest Is On Repeat All Mothers Day Long On IFC

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The cult-classic movie Mommie Dearest is a game-changer. If you’ve seen it even just once (but come on, who sees it just once?), then you already know what we’re talking about.

But if you haven’t seen it, then let us break it down for you. Really quick, we promise, we’ll even list things out to spare you the reading of a paragraph:

1. It’s the 1981 biopic based on the memoir of Christina Crawford, Hollywood icon Joan Crawford’s adopted daughter.
2. Faye Dunaway plays Joan. And boy does she play her. Loud and over-reactive.
3. It was intended as a drama, but…
4. Waaaaaay over-the-top performances and bargain-basement dialogue rendered it an accidental comedy.
5. It’s a cult classic, and you’re the last person to see it.

Not sold? Don’t believe it’s going to change your life? Ok, maybe over-the-top acting isn’t your thing, or perhaps you don’t like the lingering electricity of a good primal scream, or Joan Crawford is your personal icon and you can’t bear to see her cast in such a creepy light.

But none of that matters.

What’s important is that seeing this movie gives you permission to react to minor repeat annoyances with unrestrained histrionics.

That there is a key moment. Is she crazy? Yeah. But she’s also right. Shoulder nipples are horrible, wire hangers are the worst, and yelling about it feels strangely justified. She did it, we can do it. Precedent set. You’re welcome.

So what else can we yell about? Channel your inner Joan and consider the following list offenses when choosing your next meltdown.

Improperly Hung Toilet Paper

Misplaced Apostrophes

Coldplay at Karaoke

Dad Jokes

Gluten Free Pizza

James Franco

The list of potential pedestrian grievances is actually quite daunting, but when IFC airs Mommie Dearest non-stop for a full day, you’ll have 24 bonus hours to mull it over. 24 bonus hours to nail that lunatic shriek. 24 bonus hours to remember that, really, your mom is comparatively the best.

So please, celebrate Mother’s Day with Mommie Dearest on IFC and at IFC.com. And for the love of god—NO WIRE HANGERS EVER.

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Breaking News

From Canada With Love

Baroness von Sketch Show comes to IFC.

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Breaking news that (finally) isn’t apocalyptic!

IFC announced today that it acquired acclaimed Canadian comedy series Baroness von Sketch Show, slated to make its US of A premiere this summer. And yes, it’s important to note that it’s a Canadian sketch comedy series, because Canada is currently a shining beacon of civilization in the western hemisphere, and Baroness von Sketch Show reflects that light in every way possible.

The series is fronted entirely by women, which isn’t unusual in the sketch comedy world but is quite rare in the televised sketch comedy world. Punchy, smart, and provocative, each episode of Baroness von Sketch Show touches upon outrageous-yet-relatable real world subjects in ways both unexpected and deeply satisfying: soccer moms, awkward office birthday parties, being over 40 in a gym locker room…dry shampoo…

Indiewire called it “The Best Comedy You’ve Never Seen” and The National Post said that it’s “the funniest thing on Canadian television since Kids In The Hall.” And that’s saying a lot, because Canadians are goddamn hilarious.

Get a good taste of BVSS in the following sketch, which envisions a future Global Summit run entirely by women. It’s a future we’re personally ready for.

Baroness Von Sketch Show premieres later this summer on IFC.

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