Austin Powers Dr Evil

Dad Humor

10 Mortifying Pop Culture Dads

Catch the Austin Powers movies this month on IFC.

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This Father’s Day, IFC’s Stephen King Father of Horror marathon will prove he’s the master of scary dads, but we all know real fathers can be far more mortifying. One “Dad joke” can be more socially devastating than every sewer-dwelling clown or hatchet wielding Jack Nicholson. These mortifying dads prove that there’s nothing scarier than family.

10. Jack Byrnes, Meet the Parents

Meet the Fockers
Universal

Greg Focker’s father is careless enough to cause friction in any family, but father-in-law-to-be Jack (Robert DeNiro) makes family dinners more excruciating than being dragged over sandpaper. Especially when he starts talking about his nipples.


9. George Banks, Father of the Bride

Father of the Bride
Touchstone Pictures

Steve Martin’s George Banks can transfer embarrassment like fine wine — he’s a cringe-connoisseur serving up only the most masterful mortification to everyone around him. Father of the Bride gives him the most perfect position, motivation, and excuse to do exactly that.


8. Red Foreman, That ’70s Show

Red That 70s Show
Carsey-Werner Productions

Red Foreman is the most precious of parents: one who continually humiliates his son while remaining utterly, indignantly, ass-dumbingly above any feeling of shame for himself. Because he’s always right. He’s everyone’s favorite television dad, as long as he’s not their dad.


7. Peter Griffin, Family Guy

Peter Griffin
FOX

Other sitcom dads might humiliate their family, but they usually mean well. Peter Griffin will outright target his loved ones for the least perceived transgressions. Peter is the suburban dad id incarnate, acting on every perceived slight with hilarious consequences.


6. Noah Levenstein, American Pie

American Pie
Universal

Jim Levenstein already has enough embarrassing problems to collapse into a shame-induced singularity. With Noah for a dad, it’s a surprise he doesn’t spontaneously combust. Noah’s attempt to talk to Jim about sex, after finding his son hip deep in a homemade apple pie, are the stuff of life-long trauma.


5. Phil Dunphy, Modern Family

Phil Modern Family
ABC

With his corny jokes and knack for saying the wrong thing in most situations, Phil is the epitome of the awkward dad. But he loves his kids, even when he’s making them watch his latest magic trick.


4. George McFly, Back to the Future

George Back to the Future
Universal

George McFly humiliated his kid before he even had one, embarrassing Marty by proxy with every single step of the courtship that created him.


3. Larry, Maron

Maron dad
IFC

If anything awkward or embarrassing can happen to a regular guy, then it’s happened to Marc Maron. When his father arrives with an RV full of “Maron’s Mix,” a miracle vitamin he’s huckstering to anyone in range, it’s just one more way Marc’s pop is ruining the Maron name.


2. Dr. Evil, Austin Powers

Dr Evil
New Line Cinema

A merely embarrassing father shows you up in front of friends or family. Dr. Evil did that and added the entire world, continually cutting down his son, Scott, on the sort of scale only a megavillain can manage. (Click here to find out when the Austin Powers movies air this month on IFC.)


1. Homer Simpson

Homer Simpson
FOX

Whether he’s passing out drunk on the lawn or running naked through Springfield, Homer Simpson is the most humiliating (and longest running) parent in TV history. It’s amazing after all this time the guy still has a family to go home to.

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SAG Life

Rappers Act Up

Watch the Yo! IFC Acts Movie Marathon Memorial Day Weekend.

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Photo Credit: Courtesy of the Everett Collection and the '90s)

Memorial Day weekend: how to celebrate? Nothing quite says “screw spring—let’s do summer” like blockbuster movies starring rappers who ditched lucrative music careers in order to become actors. It happened a lot, remember? Especially in and around the ’90s. Will Smith, Eminem, Ice Cube, Ice-T, Marky Mark Wahlberg, Ludacris…icons with the hubris to try the silver screen instead and have it totally work out.

But what if more rappers had made the leap? That’s a rhetorical question—movies (and life) would’ve been better, obviously. To prove it, here are some movies that totally would’ve been more memorable with rappers.

The Godfather

Starring Biggie, not Brando.
Godfather-BIG

Charlie And The Chocolate Factory

Only Coolio could improve upon Gene Wilder’s performance.
Coolio-Wonka

Charlie And The Chocolate Factory

Billy Elliot, with a dose of Missy Elliott.
Missy-Billy-Elliott

Robin Hood: Price of Thieves

Low hanging fruit, Hollywood.
Robin-Hood-and-Lil-Jon

And of course…

Kanye-of-The-Lambs

See NONE of those movies and a whole bunch of real ones this Memorial Day weekend on IFC’s rapper-filled movie marathon.

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Brock Hard

Brockmire’s Guide To Grabbing Life By The D***

Catch up on the full season of Brockmire now.

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GIFs by Giphy

“Lucy, put supper on the stove, my dear, because this ballgame is over!”

Brockmire has officially closed out its rookie season. Miss the finale episode? A handful of episodes? The whole blessed season?? You can see it all from the beginning, starting right here.

And you should get started, because every minute you spend otherwise will be a minute spent not living your best life. That’s right, there are very important life lessons that Brockmire hid in plain sight—lessons that, when applied thoughtfully, can improve every aspect of your awesome existence. Let’s dive into some sage nuggets from what we call the Book of Jim.

Life Should Be Spiked, Not Watered Down.

That’s not just a fancy metaphor. As Brockmire points out, water tastes “awful. 70% of the water is made up of that shit?” Life is short, water sucks, live like you mean it.

There Are Only Three Types of People

“Poor people, rich people and famous people. Rich people are just poor people with money, so the only worthwhile thing is being famous.” So next time your rich friends act all high and mighty, politely remind them that they’re worthless in the eyes of even the most minor celebrities.

There’s Always A Reason To Get Out Of Bed

And 99% of the time that reason is the urge to pee. It’s nature’s way of saying “seize the day.”

There’s More To Life Than Playing Games

“Baseball can’t compete with p0rnography. Nothing can.” Nothing you do or ever will do can be more important to people than p0rn. Get off your high horse.

A Little Empathy Goes A Long Way

Especially if you’ve taken someone else’s Plan B by mistake.

Our Weaknesses Can Be Our Greatest Strengths

Tyrion Lannister said something similar. Hard to tell who said it with more colorful profanity. Wise sentiments all around.

Big Things Come To Those Who Wait

When you’re looking for a sign, the universe will drop you a big one. You’re the sh*t, universe.

And Of Course…

Need more life lessons from the Book of Jim? Catch up on Brockmire on the IFC App.

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Oh Mama

Mommie May I?

Mommie Dearest Is On Repeat All Mothers Day Long On IFC

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GIFs via Giphy

The cult-classic movie Mommie Dearest is a game-changer. If you’ve seen it even just once (but come on, who sees it just once?), then you already know what we’re talking about.

But if you haven’t seen it, then let us break it down for you. Really quick, we promise, we’ll even list things out to spare you the reading of a paragraph:

1. It’s the 1981 biopic based on the memoir of Christina Crawford, Hollywood icon Joan Crawford’s adopted daughter.
2. Faye Dunaway plays Joan. And boy does she play her. Loud and over-reactive.
3. It was intended as a drama, but…
4. Waaaaaay over-the-top performances and bargain-basement dialogue rendered it an accidental comedy.
5. It’s a cult classic, and you’re the last person to see it.

Not sold? Don’t believe it’s going to change your life? Ok, maybe over-the-top acting isn’t your thing, or perhaps you don’t like the lingering electricity of a good primal scream, or Joan Crawford is your personal icon and you can’t bear to see her cast in such a creepy light.

But none of that matters.

What’s important is that seeing this movie gives you permission to react to minor repeat annoyances with unrestrained histrionics.

That there is a key moment. Is she crazy? Yeah. But she’s also right. Shoulder nipples are horrible, wire hangers are the worst, and yelling about it feels strangely justified. She did it, we can do it. Precedent set. You’re welcome.

So what else can we yell about? Channel your inner Joan and consider the following list offenses when choosing your next meltdown.

Improperly Hung Toilet Paper

Misplaced Apostrophes

Coldplay at Karaoke

Dad Jokes

Gluten Free Pizza

James Franco

The list of potential pedestrian grievances is actually quite daunting, but when IFC airs Mommie Dearest non-stop for a full day, you’ll have 24 bonus hours to mull it over. 24 bonus hours to nail that lunatic shriek. 24 bonus hours to remember that, really, your mom is comparatively the best.

So please, celebrate Mother’s Day with Mommie Dearest on IFC and at IFC.com. And for the love of god—NO WIRE HANGERS EVER.

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