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Dad Humor

10 Mortifying Pop Culture Dads

Catch the Austin Powers movies this month on IFC.

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This Father’s Day, IFC’s Stephen King Father of Horror marathon will prove he’s the master of scary dads, but we all know real fathers can be far more mortifying. One “Dad joke” can be more socially devastating than every sewer-dwelling clown or hatchet wielding Jack Nicholson. These mortifying dads prove that there’s nothing scarier than family.

10. Jack Byrnes, Meet the Parents

Meet the Fockers
Universal

Greg Focker’s father is careless enough to cause friction in any family, but father-in-law-to-be Jack (Robert DeNiro) makes family dinners more excruciating than being dragged over sandpaper. Especially when he starts talking about his nipples.


9. George Banks, Father of the Bride

Father of the Bride
Touchstone Pictures

Steve Martin’s George Banks can transfer embarrassment like fine wine — he’s a cringe-connoisseur serving up only the most masterful mortification to everyone around him. Father of the Bride gives him the most perfect position, motivation, and excuse to do exactly that.


8. Red Foreman, That ’70s Show

Red That 70s Show
Carsey-Werner Productions

Red Foreman is the most precious of parents: one who continually humiliates his son while remaining utterly, indignantly, ass-dumbingly above any feeling of shame for himself. Because he’s always right. He’s everyone’s favorite television dad, as long as he’s not their dad.


7. Peter Griffin, Family Guy

Peter Griffin
FOX

Other sitcom dads might humiliate their family, but they usually mean well. Peter Griffin will outright target his loved ones for the least perceived transgressions. Peter is the suburban dad id incarnate, acting on every perceived slight with hilarious consequences.


6. Noah Levenstein, American Pie

American Pie
Universal

Jim Levenstein already has enough embarrassing problems to collapse into a shame-induced singularity. With Noah for a dad, it’s a surprise he doesn’t spontaneously combust. Noah’s attempt to talk to Jim about sex, after finding his son hip deep in a homemade apple pie, are the stuff of life-long trauma.


5. Phil Dunphy, Modern Family

Phil Modern Family
ABC

With his corny jokes and knack for saying the wrong thing in most situations, Phil is the epitome of the awkward dad. But he loves his kids, even when he’s making them watch his latest magic trick.


4. George McFly, Back to the Future

George Back to the Future
Universal

George McFly humiliated his kid before he even had one, embarrassing Marty by proxy with every single step of the courtship that created him.


3. Larry, Maron

Maron dad
IFC

If anything awkward or embarrassing can happen to a regular guy, then it’s happened to Marc Maron. When his father arrives with an RV full of “Maron’s Mix,” a miracle vitamin he’s huckstering to anyone in range, it’s just one more way Marc’s pop is ruining the Maron name.


2. Dr. Evil, Austin Powers

Dr Evil
New Line Cinema

A merely embarrassing father shows you up in front of friends or family. Dr. Evil did that and added the entire world, continually cutting down his son, Scott, on the sort of scale only a megavillain can manage. (Click here to find out when the Austin Powers movies air this month on IFC.)


1. Homer Simpson

Homer Simpson
FOX

Whether he’s passing out drunk on the lawn or running naked through Springfield, Homer Simpson is the most humiliating (and longest running) parent in TV history. It’s amazing after all this time the guy still has a family to go home to.

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Very NSFW

The Brockmire Premiere Is All Truth

Watch The First Episode of Brockmire Right Now for Free

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GIFS via Giphy

At long last, the Brockmire pre-premiere has arrived. Which means you can watch it right now—on IFC.com, at Funny Or Die, on IFC’s Apple TV and mobile apps, on Youtube, on Facebook, on the AMC apps, and right here. So grab some headphones and get watching.

No seriously, get headphones.

Because whether he’s giving a play-by-play or ruminating on the world around him, Jim Brockmire calls it like he sees it. And how he sees it is very NSFW. His take on life is actually quite refreshing, even to the point of being profoundly sage. For proof just look at these pearls of unconventional wisdom from the premiere…

Brockmire On The Internet

“If I need porn I just buy a nudie mag, like my father and his father before him.”

Brockmire On Sex-Ed

“Kids, a strap-on is a belt with d— on it that mommies use to f— daddies.”
Brockmire-Strap-On

Brockmire On The Perfect High

“Somewhere between 10 cups of coffee and very low-grade cocaine.”
Brockmire-Perfect-High

Brockmire On The Tardiness of Spring

“Old man winter’s reaching his hand inside your coat to give that thing one more squeeze.”

Brockmire On Keeping Perspective

“I thought I hit rock bottom in a handicap restroom in Bangkok where a Thai lady-boy snorted crank off my johnson while a sunburnt German watched us on the toilet”
Brockmire-grain-salt

Brockmire On Humanity

“If you want to look directly into the gaping maw of oblivion, don’t look up to the heavens. Just look in the mirror.”
Jules-never-seen

See these nuggets and more in the first episode of Brockmire, and see the whole season beginning April 5 at 10P on IFC.

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Thank Azaria

Best. Characters. Ever.

Our favorite Hank Azaria characters.

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GIFs via Giphy

Hank Azaria may well be the most prolific voice and character actor of our time. The work he’s done for The Simpsons alone has earned him a permanent place in the pop culture zeitgeist. And now he’s bringing another character to the mainstream: a washed-up sports announcer named Jim Brockmire, in the aptly titled new series Brockmire.

We’re looking forward to it. So much so that we want to look backward, too, with a short-but-sweet retrospective of some of Azaria’s important characters. Shall we begin?

Half The Recurring Simpsons Characters

He’s Comic Book Guy. He’s Chief Wiggum. He’s Apu. He’s Cletus. He’s Snake. He’s Superintendent Chalmers. He’s the Sea Captain. He’s Kurt “Can I Borrow A Feeling” Van Houten. He’s Professor Frink. He’s Carl. And he’s many more. But most importantly he’s Moe Szyslak, the staple character Azaria has voiced since his very first audition for The Simpsons.

Oh, and He’s Frank Grimes

For all the regular Simpsons characters Azaria has played over the years, his most brilliant performance may have been a one-off: Frank Grimes, the scrappy bootstrapper who worked tirelessly all his life for honest, incremental, and easily-undermined success. Azaria’s portrayal of this character was nuanced, emotional, and simply magical.

Patches O’Houlihan

Dodgeball is a “sport of violence, exclusion and degradation.” as Hank Azaria generously points out in his brief but crucial cameo in Dodgeball. That’s sage wisdom. Try applying his “five D’s” to your life on and off the court and enjoy the results.

Harold Zoid

Of Futurama fame. The crazy uncle of Dr. Zoidberg, Harold Zoid was once a lion (or lobster) of the silver screen until Smell-o-vision forced him into retirement.

Agador

The Birdcage was significant for many reasons, and the comic genius of Hank Azaria’s character “Agador” sits somewhere towards the top of that list. If you haven’t seen this movie, shame on you.

Gargamel

Nobody else could make a live-action Gargamel possible.

Ed Cochran

From Ray Donovan. Great character, great last name [editorial note: the author of this article may be bias].

Kahmunra, The Thinker, Abe Lincoln

All in the Night At The Museum: Battle Of The Smithsonian, a file that let Azaria flex his voice acting and live-action muscles in one fell swoop.

The Blue Raja

Mystery Men has everything, including a fatal case of Smash Mouth. Azaria’s iconic superhero makes the shortlist of redeemable qualities, though.

Dr. Huff

Huff put Azaria in a leading role, and it was good. So good that there is no good gif of it. Internet? More like Inter-not.

Learn more about Hank Azaria’s newest claim to fame right here, and don’t miss the premiere of Brockmire April 5 at 10P on IFC.

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Flame Out

Brockmire and Other Public Implosions

Brockmire Premieres April 5 at 10P on IFC.

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There’s less than a month until the Brockmire premiere, and to say we’re excited would be an insulting understatement. It’s not just that it stars Hank Azaria, who can do no wrong (and yes, that’s including Mystery Men, which is only cringeworthy because of Smash Mouth). It’s that the whole backstory of the titular character, Jim Brockmire, is the stuff of legends. A one-time iconic sportscaster who won the hearts of fans and players alike, he fell from grace after an unfortunate personal event triggered a seriously public meltdown. See for yourself in the NSFW Funny or Die digital short that spawned the IFC series:

See? NSFW and spectacularly catastrophic in a way that could almost be real. Which got us thinking: What are some real-life sports fails that have nothing to do with botched athletics and everything to do with going tragically off script? The internet is a dark and dirty place, friends, but these three examples are pretty special and mostly safe for work…

Disgruntled Sports Reporter

His co-anchor went offsides and he called it like he saw it.

Jim Rome vs Jim “Not Chris” Everett

You just don’t heckle a professional athlete when you’re within striking distance. Common sense.

Carl Lewis’s National Anthem

He killed it! As in murdered. It’s dead.

To see more moments just like these, we recommend spending a day in your pajamas combing through the muckiness of the internet. But to see something that’s Brockmire-level funny without having to clear your browser history, check out the sneak peeks and extras here.

Don’t miss the premiere of Brockmire April 5 at 10P on IFC.

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