Tremors

Creepy Crawlers

Top 10 Freakiest Worms

Catch the Tremors movies this month on IFC.

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Photo Credit: Universal

While super-brained sharks patrol our beaches and killer grizzlies stalk our woods, worms have sort of slipped under the nightmare-inducing pop culture radar. Well, no more. We thought it was high time to celebrate these limbless creepy crawlies, because let’s be honest — while few of us will ever be eaten by a rampaging tiger, we’re all going to end up as worm food someday.

10. Dr. Worm, They Might Be Giants

Dr Worm
Nickelodeon Animation

When it comes to creeping us out, slimy slugs tend to beat cartoon creations, but this little worm, an animated version of the They Might Be Giants song, managed to make our skin crawl by just slapping some skins. He may not seem scary at first, with his baby eyes and mini head mirror, but just watch the video. This little man is more stalker than invertebrate, refusing to let the group of ’90s kids he’s following get away without doing a little dance for his own amusement. He’s the ultimate earworm — burrowing into our brains can’t be far behind.


9. The Slurm Queen, Futurama

Slurm Queeen
FOX

Imagine finding that your favorite soft drink was less a secret recipe, and more a secretion from a giant worm’s anus. Would that stop you from enjoying its sugary goodness? Not if your Fry, the hopelessly Slurm-addicted delivery driver from Futurama, who seems incapable of quitting his soda habit even after he finds out it comes from the hind quarters of a Wormulon Queen.


8. Just a Worm, Labyrinth

Labyrinth worm
Jim Henson Productions

Sure, this little fella isn’t the most terrifying worm on the list, but he is the most frustrating. Frankly, this little bastard turns out to be completely useless when it counts, offering “directions” to Sara (Jennifer Connelly) in the Labyrinth that play out like Siri on crank. And if anyone out there has ever followed their Waze app through a bad neighborhood in the middle of the night, you know that the road away from the Goblin King’s castle is often paved with good intentions.


7. Jeff, Men in Black II

Men in Black
Universal

The worst thing about your morning commute, Jeff the subway stalking slug doesn’t seem like such a bad guy, unless you piss him off. Unfortunately, that’s exactly what Agents Jay and Tee did in this Men in Black sequel, quickly discovering that sometimes a delayed train is better than a devoured one.


6. The Long One, Slither

Slither
Universal

The Long One is a parasitic alien hell-bent on infesting and devouring any life form it comes across. It takes many shapes and forms, but none are freakier than the wiggly worms that will stop at nothing to crawl inside your brain. And trust us, you do not want to know where these worms come from.


5. Sandworm, Beetlejuice

Beetlejuice
Warner Bros.

Tim Burton, master of gothic whimsy, put his own spin on the wicked worm in his 1988 hit Beetlejuice. When recently deceased ghosts Barbara and Adam try to leave the house they’ve been bound to, they stumble onto an otherworldly desert world populated by carnivorous worms. It’s clearly a tip of the hat to a movie we have coming up on the list, but with Burton’s distinctive style, he creates a monster all his own.


4. Flukeman, The X-Files

Flukeman
20th Century Fox

Agents Mulder and Scully came across all kinds of creepy crawlies over the years, but none made as much of an impression as this Season 2 monster, who popped up on screen for mere seconds. A mutant flukeworm born out of the toxic soup that was Chernobyl, this monstrous worm now travels the world infecting human hosts in a desperate attempt to reproduce. If truths like this are out there, we’ll just stay home.


3. Graboids, Tremors

Graboid
Universal Pictures

These killers from below have now starred in five movies and a TV series, and are still coming back for more. There’s buzz that Kevin Bacon himself is in talks to front a new TV series, in which he’ll take on these sand slugs once and for all. With their claw-like mouths and phallic tongues, these hellacious helminths made us afraid of the ground beneath us. (Click here to see all airings of the Tremors movies on IFC.)


2. Exogorth or Space Slugs, The Empire Strikes Back

Space Slug
Lucasfilm

What could possibly be more terrifying than hiding from a bunch of Space Nazis in a cave, only to realize that “this is no cave”? When your choices are die by Imperial hands or hide in the stomach of a space slug, a rock and hard place sounds like a vacation. Fortunately, Han and the gang were flying in the fastest hunk of junk in the galaxy.


1. Sandworm, Dune

Dune Sandworm
Universal

The Sandworms, or Shai-Hulud, from the Dune novel and film are worshipped as “the earth deity of Fremen hearth superstitions.” Basically, these worms are the word of God made manifest, and they’re also pretty freaking cool. Just don’t piss them off. The humans of Dune may be obsessed with devouring the spice, but these sandworms are more than happy devouring us.

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Inauguration Alternative

Bill Murray On Repeat

It's a movie "Murray-thon" all-day Friday on IFC.

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Photo Credit: Everett Collection, GIFs courtesy of GIPHY

Democrats, Republicans and Millennials agree: 2017 is shaping up to be a spectacle — a spectacle that really kicks into high gear this Friday with the presidential inauguration. Not only will the new POTUS swear in, but all the Country’s highest offices will be filled. It’s a daunting prospect, and to feel a little anxious about it is only normal. But if your anxiety is snowballing into panic, we have a solution:
Bill Murray.

He’s the human embodiment of a mental “Happy Place”, and there’s really no problem he can’t solve. So, with that in mind, how about we all set aside reality for a moment and let Bill take the pain away by imagining a top-shelf White House cabinet filled exclusively by his signature characters. Here are a few hypothetical appointments for your consideration…

Secretary of Defense:
Bill Murray from Stripes

His incompetence is balanced by charm, and dumb luck is inexplicably on his side. America could do worse.

Secretary of State:
Bill Murray from Lost In Translation

A seasoned globetrotter steeped in regional traditions who has the respect of the whole wide world. And he kills Costello in karaoke, which is very important.

Press Secretary:
Bill Murray from Ghostbusters

“Cats and dogs, living together. Mass hysteria.” Dude knows how to brief a room.

Secretary of Health and Human Services:
Bill Murray from What About Bob.

A doctor-approved people person who knows that progress is measured in baby steps.

Secretary of Energy:
Bill Murray from Groundhog Day

Let’s be honest, this world is going to need a lot of do-overs.

Feeling better? Hold on to that bliss. And enjoy a healthy alternative to the inauguration brouhaha with multiple Murrays all Friday long in an IFC movie marathon including Kingpin, Zombieland, Ghostbusters, and Ghostbusters II.

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Home Run

Hank Azaria Gets Thrown A Curve Ball

Brockmire Premieres April 5 at 10P

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Photo Credit: Everett Collection

Unless you’ve somehow missed every episode of the Simpsons since 1989, then surely you know that Hank Azaria is one of the most important character actors of our time. He’s so prolific and his voice is so dynamic that he’s responsible for more iconic personalities than most folks realize. Basically, he’s the great and powerful Oz — except that when you pull back the curtain the truth is actually more impressive. And now Hank is coming to IFC to bring yet another character to the TV pop culture hive mind in the new series Brockmire. Check out the trailer below.

Based on the following Funny or Die short and co-starring Amanda Peet, Brockmire follows the story of imploded major league sportscaster Jim Brockmire as he tries to resurrect his career by calling plays for a floundering minor league team in a podunk town.

The series is written by Joel Church-Cooper (Undateable) and produced by Funny or Die’s Mike Farah and Joe Farrell, meaning that there’s funny in front of the camera, funny behind the camera–funny all around. Sounds like a ball to us.

Brockmire premieres April 5 at 10P on IFC.

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Car Notes

Portlandia On People Who Can’t Park

Portlandia returns tonight at 10P on IFC.

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If flagrant bad parking takes nerve, then retaliatory note writing takes neuroses. Watch Fred and Carrie take passive aggression to next level in Car Notes, the new Portlandia web series presented by Subaru. The first episode is yours right here and now, and you can see every installment of Car Notes anytime online, on the IFC app and on demand.

Portlandia returns tonight at 10P on IFC.

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