Pennywise 1920

Last Laugh

5 Creepy Clowns That Still Give Us Nightmares

Catch Stephen King's It during IFC's Father of Horror Marathon.

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Photo Credit: Warner Bros. TV

Pennywise, the evil clown from the 1990 TV miniseries Stephen King’s It, single-handedly scarred generations of children for life and forced parents to find alternate means of birthday party entertainment. But Pennywise is far from the only frightening joker to haunt our collective cultural consciousness. Before you catch It during IFC’s Stephen King Father of Horror marathon, check out the top 5 clowns from our childhood that still send a shiver down our spine. Nightmares and hiding under your blankets is totally optional (but completely expected).

5. Killer Klowns from Outer Space

Killer Klowns
Trans World Entertainment

This cult hit is heavier on the campiness than the creepiness, but its eponymous killer klowns are still no laughing matter. Aliens from an unspecified planet, the Klowns use a variety of circus-style tricks to trap and kill their human prey like making balloon animals come to life or slurping up liquefied humans through a giant crazy straw. The humans are forced to commandeer an ice cream truck in order to flee from Jojo, the giant Klownzilla, proving once again that ice cream fixes everything.


4. Hospital clowns, Pee-wee’s Big Adventure

Pee-wee’s anxiety over his missing bike manifests in a dream where a freaky group of clowns in hospital scrubs operate on our hero’s prized ride. Perhaps the creepy clown make-up in this scene inspired Joker in Tim Burton’s Batman.


3. Ryan’s Clown Doll, Poltergeist

Clown Poltergeist
MGM

Lessons we learned from Poltergeist:
– Don’t live in houses built on old burial grounds.
– Turn off your TV before bed.
– Never keep clown dolls in your bedroom.
– Better yet, just don’t own a clown doll in the first place.
– Did we mention the clown doll thing?


2. Zeebo, Are You Afraid of the Dark?

Kids who grew up in the ’90s owe more than their fair share of nightmares to both R.L. Stine’s Goosebumps and Nickelodeon’s petrifying Are You Afraid of the Dark?  series. Easily one of the scariest episodes of the bunch, “The Tale of the Laughing in the Dark” featured clown Zeebo who died during a fire caused by smoking cigars inside a funhouse. Of course, years later, a stubborn kid named Josh just HAS to go inside and steal Zeebo’s nose only to be stalked by the freaky clown until he returns it and makes an offering of cigars. Boy, Red Nose Day really took a dark turn, didn’t it?


1. Pennywise, It

Pennywise
Warner Bros. TV

Pennywise (perfectly played by Tim Curry) is actually an ancient demonic creature from another dimension that has the ability to shape-shift into its prey’s worst fears, which just happens to be clowns for the Losers Club of Derry, Maine. Pennywise gleefully torments the children (and later their adult selves) using super fun methods like geysers of blood in the shower or just straight up eating them. And just in case all of THAT wasn’t scary enough, Pennywise’s true form is something closer to a giant, pregnant spider. If you need us, we’ll be filling inhalers with battery acid and practicing our slingshot skills.

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Inauguration Alternative

Bill Murray On Repeat

It's a movie "Murray-thon" all-day Friday on IFC.

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Photo Credit: Everett Collection, GIFs courtesy of GIPHY

Democrats, Republicans and Millennials agree: 2017 is shaping up to be a spectacle — a spectacle that really kicks into high gear this Friday with the presidential inauguration. Not only will the new POTUS swear in, but all the Country’s highest offices will be filled. It’s a daunting prospect, and to feel a little anxious about it is only normal. But if your anxiety is snowballing into panic, we have a solution:
Bill Murray.

He’s the human embodiment of a mental “Happy Place”, and there’s really no problem he can’t solve. So, with that in mind, how about we all set aside reality for a moment and let Bill take the pain away by imagining a top-shelf White House cabinet filled exclusively by his signature characters. Here are a few hypothetical appointments for your consideration…

Secretary of Defense:
Bill Murray from Stripes

His incompetence is balanced by charm, and dumb luck is inexplicably on his side. America could do worse.

Secretary of State:
Bill Murray from Lost In Translation

A seasoned globetrotter steeped in regional traditions who has the respect of the whole wide world. And he kills Costello in karaoke, which is very important.

Press Secretary:
Bill Murray from Ghostbusters

“Cats and dogs, living together. Mass hysteria.” Dude knows how to brief a room.

Secretary of Health and Human Services:
Bill Murray from What About Bob.

A doctor-approved people person who knows that progress is measured in baby steps.

Secretary of Energy:
Bill Murray from Groundhog Day

Let’s be honest, this world is going to need a lot of do-overs.

Feeling better? Hold on to that bliss. And enjoy a healthy alternative to the inauguration brouhaha with multiple Murrays all Friday long in an IFC movie marathon including Kingpin, Zombieland, Ghostbusters, and Ghostbusters II.

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Home Run

Hank Azaria Gets Thrown A Curve Ball

Brockmire Premieres April 5 at 10P

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Photo Credit: Everett Collection

Unless you’ve somehow missed every episode of the Simpsons since 1989, then surely you know that Hank Azaria is one of the most important character actors of our time. He’s so prolific and his voice is so dynamic that he’s responsible for more iconic personalities than most folks realize. Basically, he’s the great and powerful Oz — except that when you pull back the curtain the truth is actually more impressive. And now Hank is coming to IFC to bring yet another character to the TV pop culture hive mind in the new series Brockmire. Check out the trailer below.

Based on the following Funny or Die short and co-starring Amanda Peet, Brockmire follows the story of imploded major league sportscaster Jim Brockmire as he tries to resurrect his career by calling plays for a floundering minor league team in a podunk town.

The series is written by Joel Church-Cooper (Undateable) and produced by Funny or Die’s Mike Farah and Joe Farrell, meaning that there’s funny in front of the camera, funny behind the camera–funny all around. Sounds like a ball to us.

Brockmire premieres April 5 at 10P on IFC.

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Car Notes

Portlandia On People Who Can’t Park

Portlandia returns tonight at 10P on IFC.

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If flagrant bad parking takes nerve, then retaliatory note writing takes neuroses. Watch Fred and Carrie take passive aggression to next level in Car Notes, the new Portlandia web series presented by Subaru. The first episode is yours right here and now, and you can see every installment of Car Notes anytime online, on the IFC app and on demand.

Portlandia returns tonight at 10P on IFC.

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