Mommie Dearest

Mommie Fearest

10 Moms Who Seriously Messed Up Their Kids

Spend Mother's Day with a 24-hour Mommie Dearest marathon Sunday, May 8th starting at 6AM on IFC.

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Photo Credit: Paramount/Everett Collection

We all love our moms. But sometimes, deep inside our therapist’s office, we have to admit that maybe they weren’t exactly perfect. Maybe they were a bit overbearing, or needed that cocktail a bit too much at the end the day. Thankfully, pop culture is rife with some seriously messed up moms who make our own mother’s foibles look like a cake walk. Check out a few of the worst moms from pop culture below, and then spend Mother’s Day watching an all-day Mommie Dearest marathon on IFC. It’s the best way to remind yourself that mom’s terrible tuna casserole isn’t the worst thing that could’ve happened to you.

10. Lucille Bluth, Arrested Development

Arrested Development
FOX

Whether it’s adopting a Korean child to look more charitable, or turning her youngest son Buster into the ultimate mama’s boy from hell, Lucille Bluth was never afraid to put her own needs ahead of her children’s. Her parenting strategy was to pit the kids against each other and hope one turned out needy enough to keep her martini topped off. At least she loved them all equally. Well, except for G.O.B. She never cared for G.O.B.


9. De’Londa Brice, The Wire

The Wire
HBO

De’Londa Brice was used to living a certain type of lifestyle, thanks to her baby daddy, Wee-Bey, and his hustler life. But when her fella got sent to the clinker, she needed to find a new man to take care of her. Thankfully, she didn’t have to look far. Namond, her teenage son, may have been a sheltered, spoiled kid who knew nothing of real life in the hood, but if De’Londa was going to keep that gravy train rolling, he would need to be her new cash cow. She basically forced him to start slinging drugs, all but assuring he would never escape the street game. And yet, somehow he did, leaving behind a mother who put her mink coat collection ahead of her parental duties.


8. Toni, Maron

While most parents try to give their children a better life, Marc Maron‘s mom (played by TV legend Sally Kellerman) seems more than happy to just give him a hard time. The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree here, no matter how much Marc doesn’t want to admit it. A personification of Marc’s anxiety, guilt, and body issues, whenever Toni Maron rolls into town, chaos is sure to follow. (Watch some of Toni’s funniest parental moments above.)


7. Kate McCallister, Home Alone

Home Alone
20th Century FOX

Look, we get being a mom is a hard gig, especially during the holiday season. Relatives are in town. Gifts have to be bought. Everything has to be perfect. But let’s also admit that forgetting one of your kids at home, as you flit off on a family vacation, is more likely a case file from Child Services than a lighthearted family comedy. The fact that Kevin proves particularly adept at warding off vicious criminals doesn’t excuse the fact that nine times out of ten, that kid is going to end up dead as a doornail.


6. Mrs. Eleanor Shaw Iselin, The Manchurian Candidate

Manchurian Candidate
United Artists

There have been some cold-hearted moms in the history of pop culture, but few can top this Communist ice queen, determined to turn her son into a presidential assassin. Angela Lansbury, most famous for playing a loveable sleuth and a teapot, would earn an Oscar nomination for her turn in this classic thriller. Mamma Iselin proves that if you only have a kid to brainwash him in a desperate attempt to overthrow a government and further your own nefarious plans, you probably aren’t going to get a great gift come Mother’s Day.


5. Mac’s mom, It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia

Macs Mom
FX

No one on It’s Always Sunny received particularly good parenting, but in a murderers’ row of awful families, Mac’s might just take the cake. For one, his father is an actual murderer. But it’s his emotionally removed mother, who’s more interested in smoking a cigarette and watching some TV than dealing with her needy son, that really defines him. Desperate for love, he showers her with affection, only to receive the occasional gruff grunt in response. No wonder Mac is so delusional when it comes to his religion or his sexuality — his role model for unconditional love is a bump on the couch he calls “Mom.”


4. Livia Soprano, The Sopranos

Livia Soprano
HBO

Another matriarch whose cold, calculating ways and emotionally withholding mothering drove her son to his highest highs and lowest lows, Livia Soprano was one mean S.O.B. She tried to have her own son killed, for heaven’s sake. If that isn’t an example of some seriously unorthodox parenting, what is? Livia was miserable, and made it her life’s mission to make sure everyone else in her family was too. She even drove her son, an emotionally removed mobster, to give therapy a try, which we have a hard time picturing Al Capone subjecting himself too.


3. Joan Crawford, Mommie Dearest

With the bright lights and glamour, who wouldn’t want to have a movie star mom? We’re guessing little Christina, who faced a lifetime of torment after being adopted by fading movie queen Joan Crawford. Whether it was making Christina give away her birthday gifts to charity after opening them, or beating her with a wire hanger after she made the unforgivable mistake of hanging her dress on it, Crawford approached mothering as an out of control publicity stunt.


2. Cartman’s mom, South Park

South Park
Comedy Central

At first blush, Cartman’s mom seems like a dream compared to most of the malicious mothers on this list. She’s as sweet as sugar, and loves her boy to death. But beneath the rosy surface, there are a few secrets that may help explain her foul mouthed boy. There’s the fact that she’s as racist and homophobic as they come. Or that she’s a “crack whore” who does German porn. Frankly, she’ll have sex with just about anyone from the town’s mayor to a cyborg Bill Cosby from the future. Oh, she also may be a hermaphrodite who might have impregnated herself to bring Cartman into the world. All in all, outside of her insane commitment to baking cookies, there’s a lot going on behind closed doors here that may have turned young Cartman into the raging mini monster he is.


1. Margaret White, Carrie

Carrie
United Artists

A religious warrior, Margaret was convinced the Devil was all around her. Why else would her husband leave her for another woman? Surely not because she only had sex with him twice, and wanted to kill herself afterwards. This woman had issues, not the least of which was her insistence that her teenage daughter was a witch, and needed to die. As prom night downers go, that has to rank right at the top. The fact that Piper Laurie, who memorably played Margaret, thought she was making a comedy for much of the shoot, only makes this messed up performance all the more terrifying.

SAE SDCC 2017

SDCC OMG

Stan Diego Comic-Con

Stan Against Evil returns November 1st.

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Photo Credit: Erin Resnick, GIFs via Giphy

Another Comic-Con International is in the can, and multiple nerdgasms were had by all – not least of which were about the Stan Against Evil roundtable discussion. Dana, Janet and John dropped a whole lotta information on what’s to come in Season 2 and what it’s like to get covered in buckets of demon goo. Here are the highlights.

Premiere Date!

Season 2 hits the air November 1 and picks up right where things left off. Consider this your chance to seamlessly continue your Halloween binge.

Character Deets!

Most people know that Evie was written especially for Janet, but did you know that Stan is based on Dana Gould’s dad? It’s true. But that’s where the homage ends, because McGinley was taken off the leash to really build a unique character.

Happy Accidents!

Improv is apparently everything, because according to Gould the funniest material happens on the fly. We bet the writers are totally cool with it.

Exposed Roots!

If Stan fans are also into Twin Peaks and Doctor Who, that’s no accident. Both of those cult classic genre benders were front of mind when Stan was being developed.

Trailer Treasure!

Yep. A new trailer dropped. Feast your eyes.

Catch up on Stan Against Evil’s first season on the IFC app before it returns November 1st on IFC.

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Grow TFU

Adulting Like You Mean It

Commuters makes its debut on IFC's Comedy Crib.

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Jared Warner, Nick Ciavarella, and Tim Dean were once a part of Murderfist, a group of comedy writers, actors, producers, parents, and reluctant adults. Together with InstaMiniSeries’s Nikki Borges, they’re making their IFC Comedy Crib debut with the refreshingly-honest and joyfully-hilarious Commuters. The webseries follows thirtysomethings Harris and Olivia as they brave the waters of true adulthood, and it’s right on point.

Jared, Nick, Nikki and Tim were kind enough to answer a few questions about Commuters for us. Here’s a snippet of that conversation…

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IFC: How would you describe Commuters to a fancy network executive you met in an elevator?

Nick: Two 30-somethings leave the Brooklyn life behind, and move to the New Jersey suburbs in a forced attempt to “grow up.” But they soon find out they’ve got a long way to go to get to where they want to be.

IFC: How would you describe Commuters to a drunk friend of a friend you met in a bar?

Jared: It’s a show about how f*cking stupid people who think they are smart can be.

IFC: What’s your origin story? When did you all meet and how long have you been working together?

Jared: Nick, Tim, and I were all in the sketch group Murderfist since, what, like 2004? God. Anyway, Tim and Nick left the group to pursue other frivolous things, like children and careers, but we all enjoyed writing together and kept at it. We were always more interested in storytelling than sketch comedy lends itself to, which led to our webseries Jared Posts A Personal. That was a show about being in your 20s and embracing the chaos of being young in the city. Commuters is the counterpoint, i guess. Our director Adam worked at Borders (~THE PAST!!~) with Tim, came out to a Murderfist show once, and we’ve kept him imprisoned ever since.

IFC: What was the genesis of Commuters?

Tim: Jared had an idea for a series about the more realistic, less romantic aspects of being in a serious relationship.  I moved out of the city to the suburbs and Nick got engaged out in LA.   We sort of combined all of those facets and Commuters was the end result.

IFC: How would Harris describe Olivia?

Jared: Olivia is the smartest, coolest, hottest person in the world, and Harris can’t believe he gets to be with her, even though she does overreact to everything and has no chill. Like seriously, ease up. It doesn’t always have to be ‘a thing.’

IFC: How would Olivia describe Harris?

Nikki:  Harris is smart, confident with a dry sense of humor but he’s also kind of a major chicken shit…. Kind of like if Han Solo and Barney Rubble had a baby.

IFC: Why do you think the world is ready for this series?

Nikki:  I think this is the most accurate portrayal of what a modern relationship looks like. Expectations for what your life is ‘supposed to look like’ are confusing and often a let down but when you’re married to your best friend, it’s going to be ok because you will always find a way to make each other laugh.

IFC: Is the exciting life of NYC twentysomethings a sweet dream from which we all must awake, or is it a nightmare that we don’t realize is happening until it’s over?

Tim: Now that i’ve spent time living in the suburbs, helping to raise a two year old, y’all city folk have no fucking clue how great you’ve got it.

Nikki: I think of it similar to how I think about college. There’s a time and age for it to be glorious but no one wants to hang out with that 7th year senior. Luckily, NYC is so multifaceted that you can still have an exciting life here but it doesn’t have to be just what the twentysomethings are doing (thank god).

Jared: New York City is a garbage fire.

See the whole season of Commuters right now on IFC’s Comedy Crib.

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C'mon Fellas

A Man Mansplains To Men

Why Baroness von Sketch Show is a must-see.

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Mansplaining is when a man takes it upon himself to explain something to a woman that she already knows. It happens a lot, but it’s not going to happen here. Ladies, go ahead and skip to the end of this post to watch a free episode of IFC’s latest addition, Baroness von Sketch Show.

However, if you’re a man, you might actually benefit from a good mansplanation. So take a knee, lean in, and absorb the following wisdom.

No Dicks

Baroness von Sketch Show is made entirely by women, therefore this show isn’t focused on men. Can you believe it? I know what you’re thinking: how will we know when to laugh if the jokes aren’t viewed through the dusty lens of the patriarchy? Where are the thinly veiled penis jokes? Am I a bad person? In order: you will, nowhere, and yes.

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Huge Balls

Did you know that there’s more to life than poop jokes, sex jokes, body part jokes? I mean, those things are all really good things, natch, and totally edgy. But Baroness von Sketch Show does something even edgier. It holds up a brutal funhouse mirror to our everyday life. This is a bulls**t world we made, fellas.

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Oh Canada

After you watch the Canadian powerhouses of Baroness von Sketch Show and think to yourself “Dear god, this is so real” and “I’ve gotta talk about this,” do yourself a favor and think a-boot your options: Refrain from sharing your sage wisdom with any woman anywhere (believe us, she gets it). Instead, tell a fellow bro and get the mansplaining out of your system while also spreading the word about a great show.

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Dudes, that’s the deal.
Women, start reading again here:


Check out the preview episode of Baroness von Sketch Show and watch the series premiere August 2 on IFC.

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