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Bye Felicia

The 10 Biggest Buzzkills From Stoner Movies

Spend 4/20 with IFC's Hit Movies Marathon.

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Photo Credit: Everett Collection

Stoner movies are perfect for chilling out. But just like real life, every stoner movie has at least one character who just seems determined to ruin your high. Whether they’re cops, teachers, bullies, narcs, or even clueless stoners themselves, the people on this list are the biggest buzzkills in the world of herbal filmdom.

1. Sgt. Stedenko, Cheech and Chong’s Up in Smoke

The buzzkill of all buzzkills is Sgt. Stedenko, from stoner pioneers Cheech and Chong. The stiff and clueless narcotics cop (perfectly played by Stacy Keach) appeared in Up in Smoke in 1978 and then in 1981’s Nice Dreams. The character goes all the way back to Cheech and Chong’s comedy LPs in the early ’70s, but his greatest moment is undoubtedly the “Lard Ass” scene from Up in Smoke.


2. Mr. Hand, Fast Times at Ridgemont High

“What are you people? On drugs?,” asks Ridgemont High history teacher Mr. Hand, played by veteran character actor Ray Walston. Jeff Spicoli sure is, and the condescending Mr. Hand does everything he can to make life harsh for the harmless stoner. No wonder Spicoli sizes up Mr. Hand within minutes of meeting him with the perfect phrase: “You dick!”


3. Fred O’Bannion, Dazed and Confused

Sometimes the buzzkill dicks are from closer to your own age group. In 1993’s Dazed and Confused, Ben Affleck plays Fred O’Bannion, a senior bully who took sadistic delight in the hazing ritual paddling of the stoner freshman. We all knew somebody like O’Banion in high school, and none of them ever ended up as successful as Ben Affleck.


4. Sir Smoke-a-Lot, Half Baked

Even major stoners themselves can be a buzzkill, especially when they get too baked and start chewing your ear off about their problems. That’s what Sir Smoke-a-Lot did to Dave Chappelle’s character Thurgood in the stoner classic Half Baked. To make it even worse, Sir Smoke-a-Lot was also played by Dave Chappelle. So he’s annoying himself.


5. Felicia, Friday

You would think that the biggest buzzkill in 1995’s Friday would be the psycho drug dealer Big Worm, since trying to get the $200 that’s owed to him is what the movie is about. But the buzzkill honors go to Felicia (played by Angela Means) whose annoying begging to borrow everything from a VCR to a car brings everybody down. Her place in buzzkill history was cemented when Ice Cube’s diss of her (“Bye Felicia”) became a popular meme almost as annoying as Felicia herself.


6. Randal Graves, Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back

We liked deadpan video store drone Randal Graves when he first appeared in Clerks back in 1994. But by the time Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back rolled around, he was a serious buzzkill who took out a restraining order to keep the slacker pot dealing duo from hanging out in front of the Quick Stop. Dude doesn’t even like Morris Day & the Time.


7. Neil Patrick Harris, Harold & Kumar Go To White Castle

Nothing can harsh the mellow of a righteous stoner like the intense and creepy vibes coming off someone on hard drugs. It’s especially bad when that druggie is a totally wired Neil Patrick Harris (playing a slightly fictionalized version of himself) who is “tripping balls” on ecstasy. He ends up stealing Harold and Kumar’s car and befouling it with “love stains.” In later Harold & Kumar movies, Harris uses a branding iron on a hooker and is thrown out of Heaven by Jesus. Not cool.


8. The Nihilists, The Big Lebowski

You know what can ruin a good buzz almost immediately? Having a live marmot thrown onto your naked crotch. That’s what the sinister figures known as The Nihilists do to The Dude in the Coen Bros.’ stoner classic The Big Lebowski. Then they threaten to come back and “cut off your Johnson” and maybe stomp on it and squoosh it. That’s because they believe in nothing. Nothing! They’re nihilists, not to be confused with Nazis, who at least have an ethos.


9. Elvis Hunkee, Soul Plane

If you see Tom Arnold playing a character named Elvis Hunkee in a movie called Soul Plane, you can be damn sure that he’s playing the buzzkill. The fact that he and his family are the only white people on the Soul Plane just confirms it. The thing that makes Hunkee such a downer is his awkward cluelessness as everyone else on the plane gets higher and higher, including his own wife and kids.


10. The Chinese food drive-thru order box, Dude, Where’s My Car?

Any stoner can tell you that sometimes the biggest buzzkills come from inanimate objects. In Dude, Where’s My Car?, the usually mellow Jesse (Ashton Kucher) has his mind toyed with by the drive-thru order box at a Chinese fast food place. The nice thing about getting into it with a disembodied voice is that you’re free to react pretty much however you want. You’re probably not going to get your Chinese food, though.

Spend 4/20 with IFC’s Hit Movies Marathon.

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SO EXCITED!!!

Reminders that the ’90s were a thing

"The Place We Live" is available for a Jessie Spano-level binge on Comedy Crib.

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Unless you stopped paying attention to the world at large in 1989, you are of course aware that the ’90s are having their pop cultural second coming. Nobody is more acutely aware of this than Dara Katz and Betsy Kenney, two comedians who met doing improv comedy and have just made their Comedy Crib debut with the hilarious ’90s TV throwback series, The Place We Live.

IFC: How would you describe “The Place We Live” to a fancy network executive you just met in an elevator?

Dara: It’s everything you loved–or loved to hate—from Melrose Place and 90210 but condensed to five minutes, funny (on purpose) and totally absurd.

IFC: How would you describe “The Place We Live” to a drunk friend of a friend you met in a bar?

Betsy: “Hey Todd, why don’t you have a sip of water. Also, I think you’ll love The Place We Live because everyone has issues…just like you, Todd.”

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IFC: When you were living through the ’90s, did you think it was television’s golden age or the pop culture apocalypse?


Betsy: I wasn’t sure I knew what it was, I just knew I loved it!


Dara: Same. Was just happy that my parents let me watch. But looking back, the ’90s honored The Teen. And for that, it’s the golden age of pop culture. 

IFC: Which ’90s shows did you mine for the series, and why?

Betsy: Melrose and 90210 for the most part. If you watch an episode of either of those shows you’ll see they’re a comedic gold mine. In one single episode, they cover serious crimes, drug problems, sex and working in a law firm and/or gallery, all while being young, hot and skinny.


Dara: And almost any series we were watching in the ’90s, Full House, Saved By the Bell, My So Called Life has very similar themes, archetypes and really stupid-intense drama. We took from a lot of places. 

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IFC: How would you describe each of the show’s characters in terms of their ’90s TV stereotype?

Dara: Autumn (Sunita Mani) is the femme fatale. Robin (Dara Katz) is the book worm (because she wears glasses). Candace (Betsy Kenney) is Corey’s twin and gives great advice and has really great hair. Corey (Casey Jost) is the boy next door/popular guy. Candace and Corey’s parents decided to live in a car so the gang can live in their house. 
Lee (Jonathan Braylock) is the jock.

IFC: Why do you think the world is ready for this series?

Dara: Because everyone’s feeling major ’90s nostalgia right now, and this is that, on steroids while also being a totally new, silly thing.

Delight in the whole season of The Place We Live right now on IFC’s Comedy Crib. It’ll take you back in all the right ways.

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New Nasty

Whips, Chains and Hand Sanitizer

Turn On The Full Season Of Neurotica At IFC's Comedy Crib

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Jenny Jaffe has a lot going on: She’s writing for Disney’s upcoming Big Hero 6: The Series, developing comedy projects with pals at Devastator Press, and she’s straddling the line between S&M and OCD as the creator and star of the sexyish new series Neurotica, which has just made its debut on IFC’s Comedy Crib. Jenny gave us some extremely intimate insight into what makes Neurotica (safely) sizzle…

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IFC: How would you describe Neurotica to a fancy network executive you met in an elevator?

Jenny: Neurotica is about a plucky Dominatrix with OCD trying to save her small-town dungeon.

IFC: How would you describe Neurotica to a drunk friend of a friend you met in a bar?

Jenny: Neurotica is about a plucky Dominatrix with OCD trying to save her small-town dungeon. You’re great. We should get coffee sometime. I’m not just saying that. I know other people just say that sometimes but I really feel like we’re going to be friends, you know? Here, what’s your number, I’ll call you so you can have my number!

IFC: What’s your comedy origin story?

Jenny: Since I was a kid I’ve dealt with severe OCD and anxiety. Comedy has always been one of the ways I’ve dealt with that. I honestly just want to help make people feel happy for a few minutes at a time.

IFC: What was the genesis of Neurotica?

Jenny: I’m pretty sure it was a title-first situation. I was coming up with ideas to pitch to a production company a million years ago (this isn’t hyperbole; I am VERY old) and just wrote down “Neurotica”; then it just sort of appeared fully formed. “Neurotica? Oh it’s an over-the-top romantic comedy about a Dominatrix with OCD, of course.” And that just happened to hit the buttons of everything I’m fascinated by.

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IFC: How would you describe Ivy?

Jenny: Ivy is everything I love in a comedy character – she’s tenacious, she’s confident, she’s sweet, she’s a big wonderful weirdo.

IFC: How would Ivy’s clientele describe her?

Jenny:  Open-minded, caring, excellent aim.

IFC: Why don’t more small towns have local dungeons?

Jenny: How do you know they don’t?

IFC: What are the pros and cons of joining a chain mega dungeon?

Jenny: You can use any of their locations but you’ll always forget you have a membership and in a year you’ll be like “jeez why won’t they let me just cancel?”

IFC: Mouths are gross! Why is that?

Jenny: If you had never seen a mouth before and I was like “it’s a wet flesh cave with sharp parts that lives in your face”, it would sound like Cronenberg-ian body horror. All body parts are horrifying. I’m kind of rooting for the singularity, I’d feel way better if I was just a consciousness in a cloud.

See the whole season of Neurotica right now on IFC’s Comedy Crib.

The-Craft

The ’90s Are Back

The '90s live again during IFC's weekend marathon.

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Photo Credit: Everett Digital, Columbia Pictures

We know what you’re thinking: “Why on Earth would anyone want to reanimate the decade that gave us Haddaway, Los Del Rio, and Smash Mouth, not to mention Crystal Pepsi?”

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Thoughts like those are normal. After all, we tend to remember lasting psychological trauma more vividly than fleeting joy. But if you dig deep, you’ll rediscover that the ’90s gave us so much to fondly revisit. Consider the four pillars of true ’90s culture.

Boy Bands

We all pretended to hate them, but watch us come alive at a karaoke bar when “I Want It That Way” comes on. Arguably more influential than Brit Pop and Grunge put together, because hello – Justin Timberlake. He’s a legitimate cultural gem.

Man-Child Movies

Adam Sandler is just behind The Simpsons in terms of his influence on humor. Somehow his man-child schtick didn’t get old until the aughts, and his success in that arena ushered in a wave of other man-child movies from fellow ’90s comedians. RIP Chris Farley (and WTF Rob Schneider).

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Teen Angst

In horror, dramas, comedies, and everything in between: Troubled teens! Getting into trouble! Who couldn’t relate to their First World problems, plaid flannels, and lose grasp of the internet?

Mainstream Nihilism

From the Coen Bros to Fincher to Tarantino, filmmakers on the verge of explosive popularity seemed interested in one thing: mind f*cking their audiences by putting characters in situations (and plot lines) beyond anyone’s control.

Feeling better about that walk down memory lane? Good. Enjoy the revival.

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And revisit some important ’90s classics all this weekend during IFC’s ’90s Marathon. Check out the full schedule here.