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Bye Felicia

The 10 Biggest Buzzkills From Stoner Movies

Spend 4/20 with IFC's Hit Movies Marathon.

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Photo Credit: Everett Collection

Stoner movies are perfect for chilling out. But just like real life, every stoner movie has at least one character who just seems determined to ruin your high. Whether they’re cops, teachers, bullies, narcs, or even clueless stoners themselves, the people on this list are the biggest buzzkills in the world of herbal filmdom.

1. Sgt. Stedenko, Cheech and Chong’s Up in Smoke

The buzzkill of all buzzkills is Sgt. Stedenko, from stoner pioneers Cheech and Chong. The stiff and clueless narcotics cop (perfectly played by Stacy Keach) appeared in Up in Smoke in 1978 and then in 1981’s Nice Dreams. The character goes all the way back to Cheech and Chong’s comedy LPs in the early ’70s, but his greatest moment is undoubtedly the “Lard Ass” scene from Up in Smoke.


2. Mr. Hand, Fast Times at Ridgemont High

“What are you people? On drugs?,” asks Ridgemont High history teacher Mr. Hand, played by veteran character actor Ray Walston. Jeff Spicoli sure is, and the condescending Mr. Hand does everything he can to make life harsh for the harmless stoner. No wonder Spicoli sizes up Mr. Hand within minutes of meeting him with the perfect phrase: “You dick!”


3. Fred O’Bannion, Dazed and Confused

Sometimes the buzzkill dicks are from closer to your own age group. In 1993’s Dazed and Confused, Ben Affleck plays Fred O’Bannion, a senior bully who took sadistic delight in the hazing ritual paddling of the stoner freshman. We all knew somebody like O’Banion in high school, and none of them ever ended up as successful as Ben Affleck.


4. Sir Smoke-a-Lot, Half Baked

Even major stoners themselves can be a buzzkill, especially when they get too baked and start chewing your ear off about their problems. That’s what Sir Smoke-a-Lot did to Dave Chappelle’s character Thurgood in the stoner classic Half Baked. To make it even worse, Sir Smoke-a-Lot was also played by Dave Chappelle. So he’s annoying himself.


5. Felicia, Friday

You would think that the biggest buzzkill in 1995’s Friday would be the psycho drug dealer Big Worm, since trying to get the $200 that’s owed to him is what the movie is about. But the buzzkill honors go to Felicia (played by Angela Means) whose annoying begging to borrow everything from a VCR to a car brings everybody down. Her place in buzzkill history was cemented when Ice Cube’s diss of her (“Bye Felicia”) became a popular meme almost as annoying as Felicia herself.


6. Randal Graves, Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back

We liked deadpan video store drone Randal Graves when he first appeared in Clerks back in 1994. But by the time Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back rolled around, he was a serious buzzkill who took out a restraining order to keep the slacker pot dealing duo from hanging out in front of the Quick Stop. Dude doesn’t even like Morris Day & the Time.


7. Neil Patrick Harris, Harold & Kumar Go To White Castle

Nothing can harsh the mellow of a righteous stoner like the intense and creepy vibes coming off someone on hard drugs. It’s especially bad when that druggie is a totally wired Neil Patrick Harris (playing a slightly fictionalized version of himself) who is “tripping balls” on ecstasy. He ends up stealing Harold and Kumar’s car and befouling it with “love stains.” In later Harold & Kumar movies, Harris uses a branding iron on a hooker and is thrown out of Heaven by Jesus. Not cool.


8. The Nihilists, The Big Lebowski

You know what can ruin a good buzz almost immediately? Having a live marmot thrown onto your naked crotch. That’s what the sinister figures known as The Nihilists do to The Dude in the Coen Bros.’ stoner classic The Big Lebowski. Then they threaten to come back and “cut off your Johnson” and maybe stomp on it and squoosh it. That’s because they believe in nothing. Nothing! They’re nihilists, not to be confused with Nazis, who at least have an ethos.


9. Elvis Hunkee, Soul Plane

If you see Tom Arnold playing a character named Elvis Hunkee in a movie called Soul Plane, you can be damn sure that he’s playing the buzzkill. The fact that he and his family are the only white people on the Soul Plane just confirms it. The thing that makes Hunkee such a downer is his awkward cluelessness as everyone else on the plane gets higher and higher, including his own wife and kids.


10. The Chinese food drive-thru order box, Dude, Where’s My Car?

Any stoner can tell you that sometimes the biggest buzzkills come from inanimate objects. In Dude, Where’s My Car?, the usually mellow Jesse (Ashton Kucher) has his mind toyed with by the drive-thru order box at a Chinese fast food place. The nice thing about getting into it with a disembodied voice is that you’re free to react pretty much however you want. You’re probably not going to get your Chinese food, though.

Spend 4/20 with IFC’s Hit Movies Marathon.

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Final Countdown

The Best Of The Last

Portlandia Goes Out With A Bang

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The end is near. In mere days Portlandia wraps up its final season, and oh what a season it’s been. Lucky for you, you can watch the entire season right now right here and on the IFC app, including this free episode courtesy of Subaru.

But now, let’s take a moment to look back at some of the new classics Fred and Carrie have so thoughtfully bestowed upon us. (We’ll be looking back through tear-blurred eyes, but you do you.)

Couples Dinner

It’s not that being single sucks, it’s that you suck if you’re single.

Cancel it!

A sketch for anyone who has cancelled more appointments than they’ve kept. Which is everyone.

Forgotten America

This one’s a “Serial” killer…everything both right and wrong about true crime podcasts.

Wedding Planners

The only bad wedding is a boring wedding.

Disaster Hut

It’s only the end of the world if your doomsday kit doesn’t include rosé.

Catch up on Portlandia’s final episodes on demand and at IFC.com

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Rev Up

Your Portlandia Personality Test

The New Portlandia Webseries Is Going Your Way

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Carrie and Fred understand that although we have so much in common, we’re each so beautifully unique and different. To help us navigate those differences, Portlandia has found an easy and honest way to embrace our special selves in the form of a progressive new traffic system: a specific lane for every kind of driver. It’s all in honor of the show’s 8th and final season, and it’s all presented by Subaru.

Ready to find out who you really are? Match your personality to a lane and hop on the expressway to self-understanding.

Lane 10: Trucks Piled With Junk

Your junk is falling out of your trunk. Shake a tail light, people — this lane is for you.

Lane 33: Twins

You’re like a Gemini, but waaaay more pedestrian. Maybe you and a friend just wear the same outfits a lot. Who cares, it’s just twinning enough to make you feel special.

Lane 27: Broken Windows

Bad luck follows you around and everyone knows it. Your proverbial seat is always damp from proverbial rain. Is this the universe telling you to swallow your pride? Yes.

Lane 69: Filthy Cars

You’re all about convenience. Getting your car washed while you drive is a no-brainer.

Lane 43: Newly Divorced Singles

It’s been a while since you’ve driven alone, and you don’t know the rules of the road anymore. What’s too fast? What’s too slow? Are you sending the right signals? Don’t worry, the breakdown lane is nearby if you need it.

Still can’t find a lane to match your personality? Check out all the videos here. And see the final season of Portlandia this spring on IFC.

Uncle-Buck

Give Back

Last-Minute Holiday Gift Guide

Hits from the '80s are on repeat all Christmas Eve and Day on IFC.

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GIFs via Giphy, Photos via The Everett Collection

It’s the final countdown to Christmas and thanks to IFC’s movie marathon all Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, you can revel in classic ’80s films AND find inspiration for your last-minute gifts. Here are our recommendations, if you need a head start:

Musical Instrument

Great analog entertainment substitute when you refuse to give your kid the Nintendo Switch they’ve been drooling over.

Breakfast In Bed

Any significant other or child would appreciate these Uncle Buck-approved flapjacks. Just make sure you’re not stuck on clean up duty.

Cocktail Supplies

You’ll need them to get through the holidays.

Dance Lessons

So you can learn to shake-shake-shake (unless you know ghosts willing to lend a hand).

Comfy Clothes

With all the holiday meals, there may be some…embigenning.



Get even more great inspiration all Christmas Eve and Day on IFC, and remember…