American Pie Band Camp

Rhythm Nation

10 Toe-Tapping Marching Band Moments

Get in step with American Pie Presents: Band Camp this month on IFC.

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Photo Credit: Everett Collection

Maybe it’s the crisp uniforms and shiny instruments or the way everyone moves exactly in unison, but nothing perks up a crowd quite like a marching band.  And while not every story that starts with “this one time at band camp…” winds up a winner, it’s hard not to love the adorkable characters that suit up and play along with our favorite onscreen bands. So before you practice your scales and make-out skills with Matt Stifler and the gang at Tall Oaks in American Pie Presents: Band Camp this month on IFC, get in step with some toe-tapping marching band moments. March Madness just took on a whole new meaning…

1. Drumline

Drumline
Paramount Pictures

Possibly THE quintessential marching band movie, Drumline is full of sick beats, impressive halftime performances, and all the typical life lessons a rebellious drumming prodigy (Nick Cannon) should learn when he’s forced to be part of a team instead of the star. But nothing beats the final showdown between Atlanta A&T and rival Morris Brown, going head-to-head on the 50 yard line. After a flashy performance from Morris Brown’s drumline, A&T retaliates with an awe-inspiring cadence, moving forward until they drop their sticks on top of Morris Brown’s drums, delivering one final crushing blow and winning the championship. Stick-dropping should definitely be the new mic-dropping.


2. Mr. Holland’s Opus

Drumline
Buena Vista Pictures

When frustrated composer turned high school music teacher Glenn Holland (Richard Dreyfuss in an Academy Award-nominated performance) is tasked with starting a marching band, things don’t exactly go very smoothly. But this being an inspirational teacher movie, the band and its novice wrestler-turned-drummer, Louis, (a pre-Empire Terrence Howard) obviously improve pretty rapidly via a musical montage (is there any other way?) and give a rollicking performance of The Kingsmen’s “Louie Louie” during a parade with Glenn in full marching band regalia leading the way. You’d have to be buttoned up like Vice Principal Wolters (William H. Macy) to not want to dance along.


3. Animal House

Usually a homecoming parade is a time of celebration with floats and marching bands, but for the raucous Delta House at Faber College, it’s a time for revenge on evil Dean Wormer and rival fraternity, the Omegas. While Bluto (John Belushi) leads the charge in an all-black float nicknamed “Deathmobile,” fellow Deltas Stork (Douglas Kenney) and Handbar (Chris Miller) distract the school marching band, leading them down a deserted alleyway away from the parade. The band keeps marching until they all crash into the wall, crushing their trombones and possibly also their school spirit.


4. Live and Let Die

Bond films always start off with a bang, and Roger Moore’s first outing as the suave MI6 agent definitely doesn’t disappoint, especially when it opens with a New Orleans jazz funeral. As the marching band passes an unnamed MI6 agent observing a restaurant called the Fillet of Soul, he’s stabbed by a fellow observer and falls to the ground. The passing pallbearers put his dead body into their empty coffin, and the once mournful procession suddenly turns joyous with the band and its followers dancing wildly to Dixieland jazz. Guess Café du Monde’s beignets aren’t the only thing to-die-for in New Orleans.


5. Easy A

Now THIS is what we’d call a “pep” rally! In a last ditch attempt to set the record straight about her “extracurricular activities,” wisecracking Olive Penderghast (a winning Emma Stone) solicits the help of her high school band and mascot crush Todd (Penn Badgley) to interrupt a school assembly and perform a sexy routine to the song “Knock on Wood.” While her former best friend, Rhiannon (Aly Michalka), is visibly shocked by Olive’s outlandish display, the rest of the school can’t seem to get enough. Olive’s performance is one we easily give an A.


6. Doctor Who

Christmas always seems to be a busy day for our favorite traveling time lord, especially when a band of murderous robot Santas suddenly start chasing companion Rose (Billie Piper) all around London while she’s out Christmas shopping. These spooky big band St. Nicks first popped up in David Tennant’s debut outing as the Doctor, “The Christmas Invasion,” back in 2005 and made a second appearance the following year in “The Runaway Bride,” kidnapping future companion Donna (Catherine Tate) in a London taxi. When it comes to THESE Santas, everyone is on the Naughty List!


7. Freaks & Geeks

Freaks and Geeks
NBC

While Paul Feig and Judd Apatow’s late, great cult TV series was full of lovable losers, smartass slacker Ken (Seth Rogen) holds a special place in our hearts thanks to his relationship with band nerd Amy (Jessica Campbell). Initially, Ken made fun of “Tuba Girl” (as he calls her), but with every wicked insult she threw back at him, he realized she’d marched her way into his heart and wound up asking her out. The two hit a few bumps along the way, but Ken and Amy became one of the most enduring and heartfelt couples of the series. Their sweet relationship sure hit all the right notes with us.


8. The Wolf of Wall Street

Wolf of Wall Street
Paramount Pictures

Marching bands are known for their eye-catching uniforms, but that means something a little different for the band hired for one of Stratton Oakmont’s infamous company ragers. Broker mastermind Jordan Belfort (Leonardo DiCaprio) and right-hand man Donnie Azoff (Jonah Hill) are prone to throwing debauched parties full of drinking, drugs and sex anytime someone at their firm makes a high-stakes deal, so after a particularly good week of money-making, Donnie leads a barely-dressed marching band through the trading floor to the sounds of John Philip Sousa’s “Stars & Stripes Forever.” All that’s missing from this red, tighty-whiteys and blue display are fireworks.


9. Ferris Bueller’s Day Off

Though Ferris (Matthew Broderick) gets into all kinds of mischief around Chicago, we’re partial to his charismatic performance atop a float in the Von Steuben Day Parade. Ferris cuts loose with a rendition of “Twist and Shout” complete with a giant dancing marching band and girls in lederhosen. The party REALLY gets rocking when a group of dancers show up doing Michael Jackson’s “Thriller” choreography. For this moment of musical fun, we must say “danke schoen” to director John Hughes and choreographer Kenny Ortega of Dirty Dancing fame.


10. 10 Things I Hate About You

It’s entirely possible bad boy Patrick Verona (the late Heath Ledger in one of his most fun performances) invented what we now know as prom-prosals back in the beloved 1999 teen comedy adaptation of Shakespeare’s Taming of the Shrew. In an attempt to win over feisty Kat’s (Julia Stiles) affections, Patrick hijacks both the school’s loudspeaker and marching band to serenade her at soccer practice with the Four Seasons classic “Can’t Take My Eyes Off You.” As Ledger works his crinkly smile to the enthusiastic strains of the marching band and Stiles blushes five shades of red during this typical Hollywood “Grand Romantic Gesture,” it’s impossible to find a single thing to hate about this moment, let alone 10.

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Brock Hard

Brockmire’s Guide To Grabbing Life By The D***

Catch up on the full season of Brockmire now.

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“Lucy, put supper on the stove, my dear, because this ballgame is over!”

Brockmire has officially closed out its rookie season. Miss the finale episode? A handful of episodes? The whole blessed season?? You can see it all from the beginning, starting right here.

And you should get started, because every minute you spend otherwise will be a minute spent not living your best life. That’s right, there are very important life lessons that Brockmire hid in plain sight—lessons that, when applied thoughtfully, can improve every aspect of your awesome existence. Let’s dive into some sage nuggets from what we call the Book of Jim.

Life Should Be Spiked, Not Watered Down.

That’s not just a fancy metaphor. As Brockmire points out, water tastes “awful. 70% of the water is made up of that shit?” Life is short, water sucks, live like you mean it.

There Are Only Three Types of People

“Poor people, rich people and famous people. Rich people are just poor people with money, so the only worthwhile thing is being famous.” So next time your rich friends act all high and mighty, politely remind them that they’re worthless in the eyes of even the most minor celebrities.

There’s Always A Reason To Get Out Of Bed

And 99% of the time that reason is the urge to pee. It’s nature’s way of saying “seize the day.”

There’s More To Life Than Playing Games

“Baseball can’t compete with p0rnography. Nothing can.” Nothing you do or ever will do can be more important to people than p0rn. Get off your high horse.

A Little Empathy Goes A Long Way

Especially if you’ve taken someone else’s Plan B by mistake.

Our Weaknesses Can Be Our Greatest Strengths

Tyrion Lannister said something similar. Hard to tell who said it with more colorful profanity. Wise sentiments all around.

Big Things Come To Those Who Wait

When you’re looking for a sign, the universe will drop you a big one. You’re the sh*t, universe.

And Of Course…

Need more life lessons from the Book of Jim? Catch up on Brockmire on the IFC App.

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Oh Mama

Mommie May I?

Mommie Dearest Is On Repeat All Mothers Day Long On IFC

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The cult-classic movie Mommie Dearest is a game-changer. If you’ve seen it even just once (but come on, who sees it just once?), then you already know what we’re talking about.

But if you haven’t seen it, then let us break it down for you. Really quick, we promise, we’ll even list things out to spare you the reading of a paragraph:

1. It’s the 1981 biopic based on the memoir of Christina Crawford, Hollywood icon Joan Crawford’s adopted daughter.
2. Faye Dunaway plays Joan. And boy does she play her. Loud and over-reactive.
3. It was intended as a drama, but…
4. Waaaaaay over-the-top performances and bargain-basement dialogue rendered it an accidental comedy.
5. It’s a cult classic, and you’re the last person to see it.

Not sold? Don’t believe it’s going to change your life? Ok, maybe over-the-top acting isn’t your thing, or perhaps you don’t like the lingering electricity of a good primal scream, or Joan Crawford is your personal icon and you can’t bear to see her cast in such a creepy light.

But none of that matters.

What’s important is that seeing this movie gives you permission to react to minor repeat annoyances with unrestrained histrionics.

That there is a key moment. Is she crazy? Yeah. But she’s also right. Shoulder nipples are horrible, wire hangers are the worst, and yelling about it feels strangely justified. She did it, we can do it. Precedent set. You’re welcome.

So what else can we yell about? Channel your inner Joan and consider the following list offenses when choosing your next meltdown.

Improperly Hung Toilet Paper

Misplaced Apostrophes

Coldplay at Karaoke

Dad Jokes

Gluten Free Pizza

James Franco

The list of potential pedestrian grievances is actually quite daunting, but when IFC airs Mommie Dearest non-stop for a full day, you’ll have 24 bonus hours to mull it over. 24 bonus hours to nail that lunatic shriek. 24 bonus hours to remember that, really, your mom is comparatively the best.

So please, celebrate Mother’s Day with Mommie Dearest on IFC and at IFC.com. And for the love of god—NO WIRE HANGERS EVER.

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Breaking News

From Canada With Love

Baroness von Sketch Show comes to IFC.

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Breaking news that (finally) isn’t apocalyptic!

IFC announced today that it acquired acclaimed Canadian comedy series Baroness von Sketch Show, slated to make its US of A premiere this summer. And yes, it’s important to note that it’s a Canadian sketch comedy series, because Canada is currently a shining beacon of civilization in the western hemisphere, and Baroness von Sketch Show reflects that light in every way possible.

The series is fronted entirely by women, which isn’t unusual in the sketch comedy world but is quite rare in the televised sketch comedy world. Punchy, smart, and provocative, each episode of Baroness von Sketch Show touches upon outrageous-yet-relatable real world subjects in ways both unexpected and deeply satisfying: soccer moms, awkward office birthday parties, being over 40 in a gym locker room…dry shampoo…

Indiewire called it “The Best Comedy You’ve Never Seen” and The National Post said that it’s “the funniest thing on Canadian television since Kids In The Hall.” And that’s saying a lot, because Canadians are goddamn hilarious.

Get a good taste of BVSS in the following sketch, which envisions a future Global Summit run entirely by women. It’s a future we’re personally ready for.

Baroness Von Sketch Show premieres later this summer on IFC.

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