American Pie Band Camp

Rhythm Nation

10 Toe-Tapping Marching Band Moments

Get in step with American Pie Presents: Band Camp this month on IFC.

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Photo Credit: Everett Collection

Maybe it’s the crisp uniforms and shiny instruments or the way everyone moves exactly in unison, but nothing perks up a crowd quite like a marching band.  And while not every story that starts with “this one time at band camp…” winds up a winner, it’s hard not to love the adorkable characters that suit up and play along with our favorite onscreen bands. So before you practice your scales and make-out skills with Matt Stifler and the gang at Tall Oaks in American Pie Presents: Band Camp this month on IFC, get in step with some toe-tapping marching band moments. March Madness just took on a whole new meaning…

1. Drumline

Drumline
Paramount Pictures

Possibly THE quintessential marching band movie, Drumline is full of sick beats, impressive halftime performances, and all the typical life lessons a rebellious drumming prodigy (Nick Cannon) should learn when he’s forced to be part of a team instead of the star. But nothing beats the final showdown between Atlanta A&T and rival Morris Brown, going head-to-head on the 50 yard line. After a flashy performance from Morris Brown’s drumline, A&T retaliates with an awe-inspiring cadence, moving forward until they drop their sticks on top of Morris Brown’s drums, delivering one final crushing blow and winning the championship. Stick-dropping should definitely be the new mic-dropping.


2. Mr. Holland’s Opus

Drumline
Buena Vista Pictures

When frustrated composer turned high school music teacher Glenn Holland (Richard Dreyfuss in an Academy Award-nominated performance) is tasked with starting a marching band, things don’t exactly go very smoothly. But this being an inspirational teacher movie, the band and its novice wrestler-turned-drummer, Louis, (a pre-Empire Terrence Howard) obviously improve pretty rapidly via a musical montage (is there any other way?) and give a rollicking performance of The Kingsmen’s “Louie Louie” during a parade with Glenn in full marching band regalia leading the way. You’d have to be buttoned up like Vice Principal Wolters (William H. Macy) to not want to dance along.


3. Animal House

Usually a homecoming parade is a time of celebration with floats and marching bands, but for the raucous Delta House at Faber College, it’s a time for revenge on evil Dean Wormer and rival fraternity, the Omegas. While Bluto (John Belushi) leads the charge in an all-black float nicknamed “Deathmobile,” fellow Deltas Stork (Douglas Kenney) and Handbar (Chris Miller) distract the school marching band, leading them down a deserted alleyway away from the parade. The band keeps marching until they all crash into the wall, crushing their trombones and possibly also their school spirit.


4. Live and Let Die

Bond films always start off with a bang, and Roger Moore’s first outing as the suave MI6 agent definitely doesn’t disappoint, especially when it opens with a New Orleans jazz funeral. As the marching band passes an unnamed MI6 agent observing a restaurant called the Fillet of Soul, he’s stabbed by a fellow observer and falls to the ground. The passing pallbearers put his dead body into their empty coffin, and the once mournful procession suddenly turns joyous with the band and its followers dancing wildly to Dixieland jazz. Guess Café du Monde’s beignets aren’t the only thing to-die-for in New Orleans.


5. Easy A

Now THIS is what we’d call a “pep” rally! In a last ditch attempt to set the record straight about her “extracurricular activities,” wisecracking Olive Penderghast (a winning Emma Stone) solicits the help of her high school band and mascot crush Todd (Penn Badgley) to interrupt a school assembly and perform a sexy routine to the song “Knock on Wood.” While her former best friend, Rhiannon (Aly Michalka), is visibly shocked by Olive’s outlandish display, the rest of the school can’t seem to get enough. Olive’s performance is one we easily give an A.


6. Doctor Who

Christmas always seems to be a busy day for our favorite traveling time lord, especially when a band of murderous robot Santas suddenly start chasing companion Rose (Billie Piper) all around London while she’s out Christmas shopping. These spooky big band St. Nicks first popped up in David Tennant’s debut outing as the Doctor, “The Christmas Invasion,” back in 2005 and made a second appearance the following year in “The Runaway Bride,” kidnapping future companion Donna (Catherine Tate) in a London taxi. When it comes to THESE Santas, everyone is on the Naughty List!


7. Freaks & Geeks

Freaks and Geeks
NBC

While Paul Feig and Judd Apatow’s late, great cult TV series was full of lovable losers, smartass slacker Ken (Seth Rogen) holds a special place in our hearts thanks to his relationship with band nerd Amy (Jessica Campbell). Initially, Ken made fun of “Tuba Girl” (as he calls her), but with every wicked insult she threw back at him, he realized she’d marched her way into his heart and wound up asking her out. The two hit a few bumps along the way, but Ken and Amy became one of the most enduring and heartfelt couples of the series. Their sweet relationship sure hit all the right notes with us.


8. The Wolf of Wall Street

Wolf of Wall Street
Paramount Pictures

Marching bands are known for their eye-catching uniforms, but that means something a little different for the band hired for one of Stratton Oakmont’s infamous company ragers. Broker mastermind Jordan Belfort (Leonardo DiCaprio) and right-hand man Donnie Azoff (Jonah Hill) are prone to throwing debauched parties full of drinking, drugs and sex anytime someone at their firm makes a high-stakes deal, so after a particularly good week of money-making, Donnie leads a barely-dressed marching band through the trading floor to the sounds of John Philip Sousa’s “Stars & Stripes Forever.” All that’s missing from this red, tighty-whiteys and blue display are fireworks.


9. Ferris Bueller’s Day Off

Though Ferris (Matthew Broderick) gets into all kinds of mischief around Chicago, we’re partial to his charismatic performance atop a float in the Von Steuben Day Parade. Ferris cuts loose with a rendition of “Twist and Shout” complete with a giant dancing marching band and girls in lederhosen. The party REALLY gets rocking when a group of dancers show up doing Michael Jackson’s “Thriller” choreography. For this moment of musical fun, we must say “danke schoen” to director John Hughes and choreographer Kenny Ortega of Dirty Dancing fame.


10. 10 Things I Hate About You

It’s entirely possible bad boy Patrick Verona (the late Heath Ledger in one of his most fun performances) invented what we now know as prom-prosals back in the beloved 1999 teen comedy adaptation of Shakespeare’s Taming of the Shrew. In an attempt to win over feisty Kat’s (Julia Stiles) affections, Patrick hijacks both the school’s loudspeaker and marching band to serenade her at soccer practice with the Four Seasons classic “Can’t Take My Eyes Off You.” As Ledger works his crinkly smile to the enthusiastic strains of the marching band and Stiles blushes five shades of red during this typical Hollywood “Grand Romantic Gesture,” it’s impossible to find a single thing to hate about this moment, let alone 10.

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Very NSFW

The Brockmire Premiere Is All Truth

Watch The First Episode of Brockmire Right Now for Free

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GIFS via Giphy

At long last, the Brockmire pre-premiere has arrived. Which means you can watch it right now—on IFC.com, at Funny Or Die, on IFC’s Apple TV and mobile apps, on Youtube, on Facebook, on the AMC apps, and right here. So grab some headphones and get watching.

No seriously, get headphones.

Because whether he’s giving a play-by-play or ruminating on the world around him, Jim Brockmire calls it like he sees it. And how he sees it is very NSFW. His take on life is actually quite refreshing, even to the point of being profoundly sage. For proof just look at these pearls of unconventional wisdom from the premiere…

Brockmire On The Internet

“If I need porn I just buy a nudie mag, like my father and his father before him.”

Brockmire On Sex-Ed

“Kids, a strap-on is a belt with d— on it that mommies use to f— daddies.”
Brockmire-Strap-On

Brockmire On The Perfect High

“Somewhere between 10 cups of coffee and very low-grade cocaine.”
Brockmire-Perfect-High

Brockmire On The Tardiness of Spring

“Old man winter’s reaching his hand inside your coat to give that thing one more squeeze.”

Brockmire On Keeping Perspective

“I thought I hit rock bottom in a handicap restroom in Bangkok where a Thai lady-boy snorted crank off my johnson while a sunburnt German watched us on the toilet”
Brockmire-grain-salt

Brockmire On Humanity

“If you want to look directly into the gaping maw of oblivion, don’t look up to the heavens. Just look in the mirror.”
Jules-never-seen

See these nuggets and more in the first episode of Brockmire, and see the whole season beginning April 5 at 10P on IFC.

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Thank Azaria

Best. Characters. Ever.

Our favorite Hank Azaria characters.

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GIFs via Giphy

Hank Azaria may well be the most prolific voice and character actor of our time. The work he’s done for The Simpsons alone has earned him a permanent place in the pop culture zeitgeist. And now he’s bringing another character to the mainstream: a washed-up sports announcer named Jim Brockmire, in the aptly titled new series Brockmire.

We’re looking forward to it. So much so that we want to look backward, too, with a short-but-sweet retrospective of some of Azaria’s important characters. Shall we begin?

Half The Recurring Simpsons Characters

He’s Comic Book Guy. He’s Chief Wiggum. He’s Apu. He’s Cletus. He’s Snake. He’s Superintendent Chalmers. He’s the Sea Captain. He’s Kurt “Can I Borrow A Feeling” Van Houten. He’s Professor Frink. He’s Carl. And he’s many more. But most importantly he’s Moe Szyslak, the staple character Azaria has voiced since his very first audition for The Simpsons.

Oh, and He’s Frank Grimes

For all the regular Simpsons characters Azaria has played over the years, his most brilliant performance may have been a one-off: Frank Grimes, the scrappy bootstrapper who worked tirelessly all his life for honest, incremental, and easily-undermined success. Azaria’s portrayal of this character was nuanced, emotional, and simply magical.

Patches O’Houlihan

Dodgeball is a “sport of violence, exclusion and degradation.” as Hank Azaria generously points out in his brief but crucial cameo in Dodgeball. That’s sage wisdom. Try applying his “five D’s” to your life on and off the court and enjoy the results.

Harold Zoid

Of Futurama fame. The crazy uncle of Dr. Zoidberg, Harold Zoid was once a lion (or lobster) of the silver screen until Smell-o-vision forced him into retirement.

Agador

The Birdcage was significant for many reasons, and the comic genius of Hank Azaria’s character “Agador” sits somewhere towards the top of that list. If you haven’t seen this movie, shame on you.

Gargamel

Nobody else could make a live-action Gargamel possible.

Ed Cochran

From Ray Donovan. Great character, great last name [editorial note: the author of this article may be bias].

Kahmunra, The Thinker, Abe Lincoln

All in the Night At The Museum: Battle Of The Smithsonian, a file that let Azaria flex his voice acting and live-action muscles in one fell swoop.

The Blue Raja

Mystery Men has everything, including a fatal case of Smash Mouth. Azaria’s iconic superhero makes the shortlist of redeemable qualities, though.

Dr. Huff

Huff put Azaria in a leading role, and it was good. So good that there is no good gif of it. Internet? More like Inter-not.

Learn more about Hank Azaria’s newest claim to fame right here, and don’t miss the premiere of Brockmire April 5 at 10P on IFC.

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Flame Out

Brockmire and Other Public Implosions

Brockmire Premieres April 5 at 10P on IFC.

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There’s less than a month until the Brockmire premiere, and to say we’re excited would be an insulting understatement. It’s not just that it stars Hank Azaria, who can do no wrong (and yes, that’s including Mystery Men, which is only cringeworthy because of Smash Mouth). It’s that the whole backstory of the titular character, Jim Brockmire, is the stuff of legends. A one-time iconic sportscaster who won the hearts of fans and players alike, he fell from grace after an unfortunate personal event triggered a seriously public meltdown. See for yourself in the NSFW Funny or Die digital short that spawned the IFC series:

See? NSFW and spectacularly catastrophic in a way that could almost be real. Which got us thinking: What are some real-life sports fails that have nothing to do with botched athletics and everything to do with going tragically off script? The internet is a dark and dirty place, friends, but these three examples are pretty special and mostly safe for work…

Disgruntled Sports Reporter

His co-anchor went offsides and he called it like he saw it.

Jim Rome vs Jim “Not Chris” Everett

You just don’t heckle a professional athlete when you’re within striking distance. Common sense.

Carl Lewis’s National Anthem

He killed it! As in murdered. It’s dead.

To see more moments just like these, we recommend spending a day in your pajamas combing through the muckiness of the internet. But to see something that’s Brockmire-level funny without having to clear your browser history, check out the sneak peeks and extras here.

Don’t miss the premiere of Brockmire April 5 at 10P on IFC.

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