Last Witch Hunter

Wigging Out

A Timeline of Vin Diesel’s Hair in Movies

Catch Vin Diesel in Pitch Black and Babylon A.D. Thursday, March 31st starting at 5:45P on IFC.

Posted by on
Photo Credit: Lionsgate

With some actors, it feels like they’ve always been old. Wilford Brimley was playing grandpas all the way back in the 1986 television series Our House, and is somehow still going strong. Some actors don’t age at all. Paul Rudd could probably still play a teen heartthrob in a pinch. It’s like he’s frozen in alabaster. Very likable alabaster

And then there’s Vin Diesel, America’s living Olive Garden emoji, because when you’re with him, you’re family. Vin has a very special quality that sets him apart from nearly every other actor in the game: he’s always been bald. Seriously, he must have started balding at birth. Try to remember when he had hair. Any hair. Maybe some early movie, before he broke big?

How about Multi-Facial, the short film that first got him attention?

Multifacial

Nope. Well, he must have had hair in his big break, Saving Private Ryan?

Dreamworks

Not so much.

Okay, how about Boiler Room?

New Line Cinema

Bald as a coot. And, obviously, he wasn’t using his Rogaine when he made Pitch Black.

Few actors, since the heyday of chrome dome Telly Savalas, have been as bald for as long as Mr. Diesel. You have to dig deep into his past, to a time when he was still known as Mark Sinclair, aspiring break-dancer, to find a hairdo on his head. And what a ‘do it was, a tight Afro that wouldn’t get in the way of a head spin or two.

Vin Diesel breakdancing

No, if we’re being honest, Vin Diesel with hair is like Arnold with an American accent or The Rock not smelling what anyone’s cooking. It just doesn’t make sense. But it has happened.

The first time Mr. Big Movie Star decided to play the follicle game was in the big budget Pitch Black sequel, The Chronicles of Riddick. That was 2004, just shy of a decade removed from his first real part in the movies. More chunky dreads than movie star locks, he looked a bit like he was making a movie about George Clinton taking over for Santa Claus.

New Line Cinema

We’d have to wait two more years for the Vin Diesel wig department’s true tour de force. Find Me Guilty saw Diesel playing a wise guy who decides to defend himself in court. Hemmed in by the minor detail that he was portraying a real person, there was little choice but to slap some hair on that cue ball. Our man Vin sports a wig that would make The People vs. O.J. Simpson proud. The Big Short would use this wig as inspiration for their whole movie, that’s how impressive it was. It’s got pomp. It’s got loads of forehead. It’s beautiful.

Freestyle Releasing

The 2015 bomb The Last Witch Hunter would see Diesel’s return to the wig game, with a short on the sides, long in the back style that looks more at home in a Macklemore video than in a gritty, historical action flick. Still, you can’t blame the guy. What does he know about hair? The last time he got a haircut M.C Hammer was still legit enough to quit.

Lionsgate

And then…nothing. Hair silence. And with news that Vin is developing a Kojack movie, we may be out of luck for a while. Still, an army of wigs stands ready and able, waiting for the call.

Watch More
muraython-tout

Inauguration Alternative

Bill Murray On Repeat

It's a movie "Murray-thon" all-day Friday on IFC.

Posted by on
Photo Credit: Everett Collection, GIFs courtesy of GIPHY

Democrats, Republicans and Millennials agree: 2017 is shaping up to be a spectacle — a spectacle that really kicks into high gear this Friday with the presidential inauguration. Not only will the new POTUS swear in, but all the Country’s highest offices will be filled. It’s a daunting prospect, and to feel a little anxious about it is only normal. But if your anxiety is snowballing into panic, we have a solution:
Bill Murray.

He’s the human embodiment of a mental “Happy Place”, and there’s really no problem he can’t solve. So, with that in mind, how about we all set aside reality for a moment and let Bill take the pain away by imagining a top-shelf White House cabinet filled exclusively by his signature characters. Here are a few hypothetical appointments for your consideration…

Secretary of Defense:
Bill Murray from Stripes

His incompetence is balanced by charm, and dumb luck is inexplicably on his side. America could do worse.

Secretary of State:
Bill Murray from Lost In Translation

A seasoned globetrotter steeped in regional traditions who has the respect of the whole wide world. And he kills Costello in karaoke, which is very important.

Press Secretary:
Bill Murray from Ghostbusters

“Cats and dogs, living together. Mass hysteria.” Dude knows how to brief a room.

Secretary of Health and Human Services:
Bill Murray from What About Bob.

A doctor-approved people person who knows that progress is measured in baby steps.

Secretary of Energy:
Bill Murray from Groundhog Day

Let’s be honest, this world is going to need a lot of do-overs.

Feeling better? Hold on to that bliss. And enjoy a healthy alternative to the inauguration brouhaha with multiple Murrays all Friday long in an IFC movie marathon including Kingpin, Zombieland, Ghostbusters, and Ghostbusters II.

Watch More
Hank-Azaria-Red-Carpet

Home Run

Hank Azaria Gets Thrown A Curve Ball

Brockmire Premieres April 5 at 10P

Posted by on
Photo Credit: Everett Collection

Unless you’ve somehow missed every episode of the Simpsons since 1989, then surely you know that Hank Azaria is one of the most important character actors of our time. He’s so prolific and his voice is so dynamic that he’s responsible for more iconic personalities than most folks realize. Basically, he’s the great and powerful Oz — except that when you pull back the curtain the truth is actually more impressive. And now Hank is coming to IFC to bring yet another character to the TV pop culture hive mind in the new series Brockmire. Check out the trailer below.

Based on the following Funny or Die short and co-starring Amanda Peet, Brockmire follows the story of imploded major league sportscaster Jim Brockmire as he tries to resurrect his career by calling plays for a floundering minor league team in a podunk town.

The series is written by Joel Church-Cooper (Undateable) and produced by Funny or Die’s Mike Farah and Joe Farrell, meaning that there’s funny in front of the camera, funny behind the camera–funny all around. Sounds like a ball to us.

Brockmire premieres April 5 at 10P on IFC.

Watch More
Port_S7_CarNotes_tout_1

Car Notes

Portlandia On People Who Can’t Park

Portlandia returns tonight at 10P on IFC.

Posted by on

If flagrant bad parking takes nerve, then retaliatory note writing takes neuroses. Watch Fred and Carrie take passive aggression to next level in Car Notes, the new Portlandia web series presented by Subaru. The first episode is yours right here and now, and you can see every installment of Car Notes anytime online, on the IFC app and on demand.

Portlandia returns tonight at 10P on IFC.

Watch More
Powered by ZergNet