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Sucker Punch

15 Hilarious Movie Knockouts

Catch an all-day Rocky movie marathon Sunday, March 6th, on IFC.

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Photo Credit: Universal/courtesy Everett Collection FILM STILL

Movie violence is the wonderful opposite of the real thing: it solves problems, has no long-lasting effects and is frequently hilarious. The most magical of all attacks in the instant KO. It’s an off-switch powered by pure rage or joy, and it never fails to crack us up. In honor of Rocky knocking out chumps this month on IFC, we’ve collected cinema’s funniest knuckle sandwiches.

1. Groundhog Day

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Groundhog Day traps Bill Murray in 24 hours, but (relatively) soon he realizes it’s an infinite playground to indulge his every desire. Like knocking out Ned Ryerson, the insurance agent who’s been annoying him every day.


2. Blazing Saddles

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Blazing Saddles is still one of the funniest comedies every filmed, and the scene where muscle-bound menace Mongo drops a guy and his horse is so wrong we can’t stop laughing. That’s what you get for telling Mongo where to park his bull.


3. Conan the Barbarian

Conan promised to crush his enemies and hear the lamentations of the women. He forgot to include “punch any camels that get in my way.”


4. Friday the 13th Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan

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Always remember the three rules to surviving a Friday the 13th movie: 1. Don’t stand in front of Jason. 2. Don’t attack Jason. 3. Definitely don’t challenge Jason to a boxing match unless you want to be the wrong part of the most hilarious knockout in horror history.


5. Friday

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If you haven’t seen this movie you have never truly understood uppercuts. The perfect parabola described by Red could only be improved by Chris Tucker, laying down the most perfect summary by saying “You got knocked the &*$% out!”


6. Happy Gilmore

Sure, Happy Gilmore gets in a few solid blows. But it’s Bob Barker who shows Happy that the price is WRONG.


7. Back to the Future

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The punch heard around the timeline, as George McFly finally focuses an entire lifetime of bullying into one perfect point. And that point was on the end of his fist. Actor Tom Wilson sold the punch like it was made of gold, and it was glorious.


8. She’s Funny That Way

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The screwball romantic comedy features all the standard romantic misunderstandings, though there’s no misunderstanding Jennifer Aniston’s feelings when she catches her boyfriend dating another woman. He probably won’t be understanding anything at all for a while.


9. Slap Shot

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Slap Shot is no mere movie — it’s an ode to the beauty of violence on ice. The Hanson brothers provide more knockout punches than most action heroes, but it’s hard to beat the majestic buildup to this single savage shot to the head.


10. Superbad

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Feeble Fogell, aka McLovin, has faked an ID and spends the whole movie trying to live up to it. It’s all going well until he runs into a robber who delivers one of the most beautiful left-field sucker punches.


11. Independence Day

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Will Smith shows us how alien invaders should be welcomed to Earth. It doesn’t matter how terrifying they are: if an alien has a face, you can punch it.


12. Hangover

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Annoying Mike Tyson was never going to end well. Which makes it even more impressive that The Hangover could make it even more hilarious, painstakingly setting up the perfect stage by forcing our feeble heroes to sing “In The Air Tonight” before laying out Alan with an Iron Mike special.


13. The Avengers

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HULK SMASH! That’s, like, his entire deal. Even if you’ve just helped him take down an enemy of all humanity we have to recommend not being smug, or standing in punching distance, and those are two mistakes Thor makes all the time.


14. Dumb & Dumber

There are knockouts, and there are knockouts where both face and glass are smashed. This scene is a reminder of both how funnier Dumb & Dumber is, and also of a time when people actually had to wait to use the phone in public.


15. The Wicker Man

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Nic Cage has made a superior career of late out of utterly demented roles, and nothing captures the meme-manufacturing machine he’s become like The Wicker Man. If cinema has an apex, it is Nic Cage in a bear suit sucker-punching a poor woman.

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Brock Hard

Brockmire’s Guide To Grabbing Life By The D***

Catch up on the full season of Brockmire now.

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“Lucy, put supper on the stove, my dear, because this ballgame is over!”

Brockmire has officially closed out its rookie season. Miss the finale episode? A handful of episodes? The whole blessed season?? You can see it all from the beginning, starting right here.

And you should get started, because every minute you spend otherwise will be a minute spent not living your best life. That’s right, there are very important life lessons that Brockmire hid in plain sight—lessons that, when applied thoughtfully, can improve every aspect of your awesome existence. Let’s dive into some sage nuggets from what we call the Book of Jim.

Life Should Be Spiked, Not Watered Down.

That’s not just a fancy metaphor. As Brockmire points out, water tastes “awful. 70% of the water is made up of that shit?” Life is short, water sucks, live like you mean it.

There Are Only Three Types of People

“Poor people, rich people and famous people. Rich people are just poor people with money, so the only worthwhile thing is being famous.” So next time your rich friends act all high and mighty, politely remind them that they’re worthless in the eyes of even the most minor celebrities.

There’s Always A Reason To Get Out Of Bed

And 99% of the time that reason is the urge to pee. It’s nature’s way of saying “seize the day.”

There’s More To Life Than Playing Games

“Baseball can’t compete with p0rnography. Nothing can.” Nothing you do or ever will do can be more important to people than p0rn. Get off your high horse.

A Little Empathy Goes A Long Way

Especially if you’ve taken someone else’s Plan B by mistake.

Our Weaknesses Can Be Our Greatest Strengths

Tyrion Lannister said something similar. Hard to tell who said it with more colorful profanity. Wise sentiments all around.

Big Things Come To Those Who Wait

When you’re looking for a sign, the universe will drop you a big one. You’re the sh*t, universe.

And Of Course…

Need more life lessons from the Book of Jim? Catch up on Brockmire on the IFC App.

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Oh Mama

Mommie May I?

Mommie Dearest Is On Repeat All Mothers Day Long On IFC

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The cult-classic movie Mommie Dearest is a game-changer. If you’ve seen it even just once (but come on, who sees it just once?), then you already know what we’re talking about.

But if you haven’t seen it, then let us break it down for you. Really quick, we promise, we’ll even list things out to spare you the reading of a paragraph:

1. It’s the 1981 biopic based on the memoir of Christina Crawford, Hollywood icon Joan Crawford’s adopted daughter.
2. Faye Dunaway plays Joan. And boy does she play her. Loud and over-reactive.
3. It was intended as a drama, but…
4. Waaaaaay over-the-top performances and bargain-basement dialogue rendered it an accidental comedy.
5. It’s a cult classic, and you’re the last person to see it.

Not sold? Don’t believe it’s going to change your life? Ok, maybe over-the-top acting isn’t your thing, or perhaps you don’t like the lingering electricity of a good primal scream, or Joan Crawford is your personal icon and you can’t bear to see her cast in such a creepy light.

But none of that matters.

What’s important is that seeing this movie gives you permission to react to minor repeat annoyances with unrestrained histrionics.

That there is a key moment. Is she crazy? Yeah. But she’s also right. Shoulder nipples are horrible, wire hangers are the worst, and yelling about it feels strangely justified. She did it, we can do it. Precedent set. You’re welcome.

So what else can we yell about? Channel your inner Joan and consider the following list offenses when choosing your next meltdown.

Improperly Hung Toilet Paper

Misplaced Apostrophes

Coldplay at Karaoke

Dad Jokes

Gluten Free Pizza

James Franco

The list of potential pedestrian grievances is actually quite daunting, but when IFC airs Mommie Dearest non-stop for a full day, you’ll have 24 bonus hours to mull it over. 24 bonus hours to nail that lunatic shriek. 24 bonus hours to remember that, really, your mom is comparatively the best.

So please, celebrate Mother’s Day with Mommie Dearest on IFC and at IFC.com. And for the love of god—NO WIRE HANGERS EVER.

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Breaking News

From Canada With Love

Baroness von Sketch Show comes to IFC.

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Breaking news that (finally) isn’t apocalyptic!

IFC announced today that it acquired acclaimed Canadian comedy series Baroness von Sketch Show, slated to make its US of A premiere this summer. And yes, it’s important to note that it’s a Canadian sketch comedy series, because Canada is currently a shining beacon of civilization in the western hemisphere, and Baroness von Sketch Show reflects that light in every way possible.

The series is fronted entirely by women, which isn’t unusual in the sketch comedy world but is quite rare in the televised sketch comedy world. Punchy, smart, and provocative, each episode of Baroness von Sketch Show touches upon outrageous-yet-relatable real world subjects in ways both unexpected and deeply satisfying: soccer moms, awkward office birthday parties, being over 40 in a gym locker room…dry shampoo…

Indiewire called it “The Best Comedy You’ve Never Seen” and The National Post said that it’s “the funniest thing on Canadian television since Kids In The Hall.” And that’s saying a lot, because Canadians are goddamn hilarious.

Get a good taste of BVSS in the following sketch, which envisions a future Global Summit run entirely by women. It’s a future we’re personally ready for.

Baroness Von Sketch Show premieres later this summer on IFC.

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