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Let's Party

10 One-liners That Prove Commando Is the Ultimate Arnold Movie

Catch IFC's Movie Madness throughout the month of March.

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Photo Credit: 20th Century Fox/Everett Collection

Every Arnold Schwarzenegger movie contains great one-liners, but Commando is basically a master class on how to deliver a joke after you’ve just impaled a dude with a steam pipe. Over the course of 90 blissful minutes, Arnie’s John Matrix deals out both physical and verbal “pun-ishment” in equal measure as he takes down the bad guys who kidnapped his daughter. To celebrate John Matrix’s inclusion in IFC’s Movie Madness, take a look at 10 one-liners that prove that Commando is the ultimate Ah-nuld movie.

1. “You’re a funny guy Sully. I like you. That’s why I’m going to kill you last.”

And Arnold definitely knows funny. After all, he starred in Junior.


2. “I’ll be back, Bennett.”

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Arnie’s most famous line is put to good use here a year after it made its debut in The Terminator and decades before it became a tired pop culture reference


3. “He’s dead tired.”

Colonel John Matrix is nothing if not thoughtful. Here he gives his kidnapper a blanket and asks the stewardess to make sure his friend isn’t disturbed during his (eternal) slumber.


4. “I eat Green Berets for breakfast. And right now I’m very hungry.”

Green berets, the breakfast of champions. This scene gets bonus points for pitting Bill Duke against Arnold two years before they would hunt an alien together in Predator.


5. “Remember, Sully, when I promised to kill you last? I lied.”

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John Matrix is a man of his word. After all, he did say he was going to kill Sully. He just may have fudged the timing a bit.


6. “I let him go.”

John’s reply to Cindy when she asks what happened to Sully couldn’t be more on-the-nose. Poor Cindy probably thinks John allowed Sully to escape unscathed.


7. “I remember you…scumbag!”

Scumbag Commando

John Matrix never forgets a face. Specifically when it’s attached to a scumbag.


8. “Let’s party.”

Commando Let's Party

Bennett’s first mistake was bringing an Uzi to a knife fight. Also threatening the daughter of a dude who can hurl a steam pipe right through you. Which brings us to…


9. “Let off some steam Bennett.”

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This one-liner has it all: impossible feats of strength, shocking violence, and a perfect pun.


10. “Just Bodies.”

Commando just bodies

John Matrix, singlehandedly cutting down on military spending since 1985.

Watch Dick Vitale give a Commando play-by-play, baby! 

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Final Countdown

The Best Of The Last

Portlandia Goes Out With A Bang

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The end is near. In mere days Portlandia wraps up its final season, and oh what a season it’s been. Lucky for you, you can watch the entire season right now right here and on the IFC app, including this free episode courtesy of Subaru.

But now, let’s take a moment to look back at some of the new classics Fred and Carrie have so thoughtfully bestowed upon us. (We’ll be looking back through tear-blurred eyes, but you do you.)

Couples Dinner

It’s not that being single sucks, it’s that you suck if you’re single.

Cancel it!

A sketch for anyone who has cancelled more appointments than they’ve kept. Which is everyone.

Forgotten America

This one’s a “Serial” killer…everything both right and wrong about true crime podcasts.

Wedding Planners

The only bad wedding is a boring wedding.

Disaster Hut

It’s only the end of the world if your doomsday kit doesn’t include rosé.

Catch up on Portlandia’s final episodes on demand and at IFC.com

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Rev Up

Your Portlandia Personality Test

The New Portlandia Webseries Is Going Your Way

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Carrie and Fred understand that although we have so much in common, we’re each so beautifully unique and different. To help us navigate those differences, Portlandia has found an easy and honest way to embrace our special selves in the form of a progressive new traffic system: a specific lane for every kind of driver. It’s all in honor of the show’s 8th and final season, and it’s all presented by Subaru.

Ready to find out who you really are? Match your personality to a lane and hop on the expressway to self-understanding.

Lane 10: Trucks Piled With Junk

Your junk is falling out of your trunk. Shake a tail light, people — this lane is for you.

Lane 33: Twins

You’re like a Gemini, but waaaay more pedestrian. Maybe you and a friend just wear the same outfits a lot. Who cares, it’s just twinning enough to make you feel special.

Lane 27: Broken Windows

Bad luck follows you around and everyone knows it. Your proverbial seat is always damp from proverbial rain. Is this the universe telling you to swallow your pride? Yes.

Lane 69: Filthy Cars

You’re all about convenience. Getting your car washed while you drive is a no-brainer.

Lane 43: Newly Divorced Singles

It’s been a while since you’ve driven alone, and you don’t know the rules of the road anymore. What’s too fast? What’s too slow? Are you sending the right signals? Don’t worry, the breakdown lane is nearby if you need it.

Still can’t find a lane to match your personality? Check out all the videos here. And see the final season of Portlandia this spring on IFC.

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Give Back

Last-Minute Holiday Gift Guide

Hits from the '80s are on repeat all Christmas Eve and Day on IFC.

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GIFs via Giphy, Photos via The Everett Collection

It’s the final countdown to Christmas and thanks to IFC’s movie marathon all Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, you can revel in classic ’80s films AND find inspiration for your last-minute gifts. Here are our recommendations, if you need a head start:

Musical Instrument

Great analog entertainment substitute when you refuse to give your kid the Nintendo Switch they’ve been drooling over.

Breakfast In Bed

Any significant other or child would appreciate these Uncle Buck-approved flapjacks. Just make sure you’re not stuck on clean up duty.

Cocktail Supplies

You’ll need them to get through the holidays.

Dance Lessons

So you can learn to shake-shake-shake (unless you know ghosts willing to lend a hand).

Comfy Clothes

With all the holiday meals, there may be some…embigenning.



Get even more great inspiration all Christmas Eve and Day on IFC, and remember…